Thursday, October 13, 2011

3 Play Thursday - Rappin' Ballers.

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: Locked Out NBA Players Who Moonlight As cRappers.

If you think this NBA lockout sucks for fans, imagine the dilemma for players. You're not getting paid. You've got lots of free time on your hands. You have no idea if you'll work again during The Obama Administration. But you've still got an ego that needs massaging, and money to blow. Why not head to the studio, drop some tracks, and make an expensive Youtube video for an mixtape most NBA fans won't even bother downloading from DatPiff?!? Makes sense to me, and makes sense to a handful of lesser known NBA players moonlighting as cRappers. The results are mixed, as my bball-centric grades will show.

Without further ado, let's spin the records...

Stephen "Stack Jax" Jackson of the Milwaukee Bucks - "Eff' A Lockout"

Jackson will probably always be best known for his part in The Malice At The Palace, but honestly, this isn't half bad. Sure, he's on the wrong side of 30 to be rappin' about anything "trill", but I've heard worse. The Pimp C-like subject matter works for him. Bonus points for the Eazy-E sample at the beginning. Basket, And One.

Brandon Bass of the Orlando Magic - "Billion Dollar Dreams"

Sorry, but this just isn't all that good. Dude sounds like Webbie with a college degree, and that's clearly Dwight Howard's house, not his. BTW, is it possible for an athlete to record a song without 1,209 mentions of the word "ball" in the lyrics? Please. Three Second Violation.

Lou Williams of the Philadelphia 76ers - "Slow It Down"

Wick. Wick. Wack. Seriously, Sweet Lou, what kinda Will.I.Am crap is this? Technical Foul.

Dejuan Blair of the San Antonio Spurs - "2 Hard Living"

I think "2 Hard Listening" might be a better title. I'm assuming this is an ode to the dead homies who never made it out the hood, but this "Crossroads" ripoff and autotuned atrocity just makes me wanna kill my iPad. That b&w/red cup effect is pretty nice though. Missed Free Throw.

Delonte West of Team Gloria James the Boston Celtics - "MJ Shwagg"

Ok, no need to lie, this isn't awful, mostly cause West clearly isn't taking himself too seriously. He's nowhere near being on beat, but the track is bouncy. I like this. 3 Pointer.

Question: Should any of these guys keep rapping or do they need to be somewhere practicing free throws?

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