Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Meet CJ Pearson: 12 Year Old Black Tea Partier.

I've often said, without a trace of cynicism, that if I wanted to get instantly famous and rich, all I had to do with convert AverageBro.com to an Obama-hatred site. I wouldn't need to solicit Conservatives for money or exposure. That would just come to me automatically, because there's always a market for Black People Who Publicly Profess Their Hatred For Obama. There probably always will be.

Most of the Obama haters are grown-ups, so since I'm 41 it's not like I'd be cornering some new market. But an enterprising tween for Georgia is doing just that, and he's about to cash in handsomely.
Many 12-year-olds have figured out how to become overnight internet sensations. Twerk. Try to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. Sing like Beebs. But C.J. Pearson took a different approach: a three-minute rant against President Barack Obama and his, “downright hate for the American values our country holds.”

Pearson said the video is in defense of former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who first launched the “Obama hates America” charge in criticism of the president’s policies on ISIS.

It was only Saturday that Pearson launched a YouTube channel and posted his very first video, “President Obama: Do you really love America?” As of Monday afternoon, it has gotten more than a half million views, nearly 6,000 likes and about 500 thumbs down.

He was trending heavily on Facebook and several blogs. Television stations and newspapers – some international – have picked up his story. Several GOP and conservative sites picked it up. Allen West forwarded it. He said he is scheduled to be on “Fox and Friends” later this week.

Slight in stature, his hair is closely cropped. Put him in an oversized suit and tie and he could be any other 12-year-old imitating Obama at his school’s annual President’s Day assembly. He talks years – or maybe decades – beyond his age, repackaging conservative talking points into neat little sound bites.

Last November, he started his own political group, “Young Georgians in Government,” where he is listed as executive director. He said he started it to bring “real solutions to government.”

Pearson said he got involved in politics by studying the 2008 presidential election. He supported John McCain, because he agreed with his conservative views. He was five years old. He has recently campaigned for the likes of Nathan Deal and David Perdue.

“I would say that my political ideology came from researching the principles that I held dear,” Pearson said. “Limited government, personal responsibility, liberty and freedom. I personally identified with Republicans.”

Pearson said his parents, who would not comment, have been supportive of his political course. “My parents are not as politically active as me,” Pearson said. “They are Democrats and have different views than I have.”

There are inherent risks in becoming an internet sensation, especially when race is involved. It is not without irony that Pearson is a bright young African-American blasting the president and his love for America. Comments on his pages and throughout social media have been wildly supportive and vitriolically angry – falling largely along racial lines.

And what about Pearson’s future? He said he has serious political aspirations and has already tried to craft legislation for this year’s general assembly.
Here's the pro-Rudy/anti-Barry screed that's made this kid an overnight Conservative sensation.



Okay, I'm gonna take the glass half full approach here: it's actually refreshing to hear a black kid speak good English, and find notoriety online for something other than the usual Terrio/Yeet!/Latarian nonsense. So there's that.

Look, I get it: this is an easy way to get yourself on Fox News. He'll probably get paid to show up at CPAC or something like that. I'm sure there's a deal for his own radio show being worked on at this very moment. Even if you don't believe in what you're saying (and I'm thinking this kid is waaaay to young to even understand the talking points he's spewing) this is a damn clever way to make some quick cash, maybe even enough to afford a good shapeup a semester at community college someday.

On the other hand: seriously, kid, WTF?

Does he really even know what he's saying? He's clearly reading a script (quite well, FWIW) but no 12 year old can actually comprehend international diplomacy. Sheeeit, most 52 year olds can't actually comprehend international diplomacy. And yeah, I'm wondering what exactly this kid's parents are doing here. Maybe they know "the game", find their child's speeches amusing, and see an easy way to fatten up the kid's 529 Plan. If I was the sort to place wagers, I'd go to bettingsites.com and put $100 on it.

In any event, I hope someone semi-responsible is in this child's life. Much like 2008's tween Obama Basher Johnathan Krohn, he's gonna probably realize how dumb this looks when he's 17 and suddenly wants to get laid. Either that or he's gonna be used as a Conservative Puppet and discarded before he even hits puberty.

Word to Herman Cain. And Michael Steele. And Angela McGlowan.

Quit while you're ahead, kid. This ends badly.

Question: Is this poor kid heading for a very sad letdown, or is he running the ultimate Grand Hu$tle on Conservatives?

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Bad Assed Kids, George Jefferson Haircuts, And The Inherent Laziness Of Public Shame Parenting.

As any one with sons will tell you, raising boys is hard. Not that raising girls is any easier[1], mind you. But boys present their own share of problems, the most persistent of which is behavior. My 8 and 6 year olds are a case study in this issue: they fight each other, don't clean up after themselves, are notoriously picky eater, and complain when asked to do something they don't want to. Despite all this, they do very well in school, and their teachers would probably be flabbergasted to know how differently they behave at home.

Disciplining our sons is an ongoing struggle. My wife and I have tried every technique imaginable, from timeouts, to whippings, to the "Take Sh*t They Really Like Away For A Few Days" method. Some of this works for awhile, and then it's back to the usual "Boys Will Be Boys" tomfoolery. One thing we haven't tried is public shaming, which thanks to Black Twitter, seems to be all the rage nowadays. So much so that Embarass Yo' Kids is now being examined by mainstream media.
Got a kid who’s raising hell? Afraid the police will be called if you break out the belt? A suburban Atlanta barbershop may have a solution for you.

Three days a week, parents can take their misbehaving kids to A-1 Kutz and ask for the “Benjamin Button Special,” which Russell Fredrick and his team of barbers are offering — free of charge — to parents who want to try a novel form of discipline.

The cut involves shaving hair off the child’s crown until he begins to resemble a balding senior citizen, inviting that unique brand of adolescent humiliation that can only come from teasing classmates and unwanted attention. Supporters say it’s the perfect punishment for misbehaving kids who want to “act grown.”

Fredrick, the A-1 Kutz co-owner and a 34-year-old father of three, said he decided to advertise the cut after he used the unique disciplinary measure on his 12-year-old son, Rushawn, last fall — and saw immediate results. Rushawn’s grades, which had fallen, “dramatically skyrocketed” after he got his old-man haircut, Frederick said.

Even so, he added, giving your child a haircut that makes them look like a mini-George Jefferson should be a last resort. The 10-year-old child in the photos he shared on social media had been brought to the barbershop by a single mother who told Fredrick she was looking for a way to teach her son a lesson after he misbehaved in school.

One person who is willing to make a value judgement is Willie Jefferson Jr., a Houston father of two who shaved his 11-year-old son’s head after he misbehaved in class last fall. “I know what works for my children,” said Jefferson, who noted that he grew up in an “old school Mississippi family,” where corporal punishment was the norm. “When I spank, it corrects behavior. You may be able to talk to some kids; for others a spanking or an embarrassing haircut may be a great option.”

Jefferson told The Post that the threat of public humiliation was so effective, his son is still on good behavior several months after he was given an old-man haircut. He noted that spanking or a humiliating haircut should be a last resort for parents, but an option nonetheless.

“Shaming isn’t bad for children if it teaches respect,” he said. “It taught me respect, it taught my parents respect, it taught my grandparents and great grandparents respect, and that’s what I’m going to stick with.”
When I first saw that kid's photo on Black Twitter, I thought "Damn, kids are going to the barbershop and asking for 'The Lebron James' now"? Sadly, there was much more to this photo than met the eye.

I'm gonna keep it two hunned here: This is some ignorant assed sh*t. The parents who say this worked for them are not being truthful with themselves, and using this technique to excuse the fact that they've been generally sh*tty parents. You may see a temporary change in behavior, but I doubt the longterm results are going to be favorable.

For kids, self esteem is everything. Expecting a 10 year old to endure ridicule from his peers, and learn some sort of lesson in the process is insane. That kid's probably going to be very resentful, and maybe even become more of an asshole as a result. And if a kid's acting out that badly and screwing up in school, it's most likely a symptom of some greater issue going on at home. This addresses none of that, it's the parenting equivalent of Fix-A-Flat. It'll work for a minute, but rely on it too much and you're gonna end up with an even bigger problem than you started out with. Or something like that.

Sorry, I think this is terrible parenting. I'm sure I'm in the minority. I don't care. This is some bassackwards sh*t and it does not need to be glorified. Stop it already.

Question: Is Public Shame Parenting a viable method for correcting your child's behavior?

[1] My two year old daughter is... to put it lightly... a handful.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Warren Sapp, Discount Sex Workers, And Why You Should Just Get A SpectraVision Movie.

What is it with NFL players and Super Bowl weekend? Every year, there seems to be some player or ex-player that gets caught up in the hours before/after the game. You might recall Packers great Eugene Robinson (then a Falcon) got arrested the night before the big game for solicitation. The next day, Eugene was the one the Broncos scored on (see what I did there?) as he gave up big play after big play. Bengals running back Stanley Wilson once relieved pregame stress by doing a few lines of coke and missing a team meeting. The Raiders Barret Robbins just said eff' it all and left the country the day before Super Bowl XXXVII, choosing to head to Mexico and get white guy wasted. In each instance, the player's team was so distracted they got pummeled on Super Bowl Sunday. Either that or they were just outmatched and were gonna lose anyway.

NFL analyst (and Hall Of Famer) Warren Sapp is no stranger to Super Bowl weekend shenanigans, having been charged with domestic battery (which was later dropped) a few years back. Apparently Sapp learned his lesson this year. Why bring sand to the beach (and literally beat it up) when you can just go to the beach and buy sand (then literally beat it up).[1]
In the early morning hours before NFL Hall of Famer Warren Sapp's arrest on assault and solicitation of prostitution charges, hotel guests at the Phoenix downtown Renaissance awoke to what they believed to be an argument and physical altercation in a hotel hallway, Yahoo Sports has learned.

The Phoenix police department and an employee at the Renaissance declined comment Monday, but a source with details of Sapp's arrest told Yahoo Sports that sometime around 2:30 a.m. MT, guests reported hearing an argument followed by objects banging in either the hallway or another room. When guests opened doors to see the disturbance, at least one reported seeing two women – one lying on the floor with apparent marks associated with a physical altercation, and a second woman who was with her, the source said. The women were shouting and alleged that Sapp had assaulted them and asked for someone to call police, the source said.

Officers arrived shortly after the incident and interviewed the woman who had alleged the assault. Officers then began to look for the second woman, who had left the scene. Both eventually identified themselves to police as escorts who had met Sapp in the hotel. The source said Sapp was interviewed by police, then remained in his room until the second woman could be located. It was after the second woman was found and interviewed that Sapp was taken into custody and subsequently charged with soliciting prostitution and assault around 7 a.m. local time.
For those of you keeping score at home, Sapp appears to have arranged a threesome with a couple of ladies of the evening, partook in said threesome, then decided to short one of them on the agreed upon payment. When things went south, Sapp proceeded to beat both women up, at which point the hookers asked another hotel guest to call the police. Then one of the hookers remembered hooking was illegal and got the hell outta there. Both hookers, and Sapp, were all eventually apprehended. What a weekend! Who knows what the dispute was over. Maybe Sapp had a Buy One, Get One Free Super Bowl Hooker Coupon and tried to redeem it too late. I hate it when that happens (At Chipotle!)

I'm a dedicated, married man, so I can't speak on this, but I wonder what makes a still somewhat famous, still somewhat wealthy man choose to buy a couple of hookers? I mean, I know Sapp's no longer in the NFL, but he's got name recognition. This bama nearly won Dancing With The Stars for crissakes. Are you telling me he didn't have enough face recognition and game to pull some random bar/club groupie on Super Bowl weekend? Seriously?

I know men (allegedly) pay hookers to leave, but hookers, last I checked, were still illegal in most states. Random bar/club groupie isn't. It just makes no sense, financially, legally or otherwise to pay for it when you have a name and/or money. I don't get it. Isn't that what Tinder is (allegedly) for?[2]

In any event, Sapp's gonna have a lot less money now, since he just got canned by the NFL Network. Like college basketball analyst Greg Anthony, who was recent busted for buying a hooker off Backpages in DC, Sapp was let go immediately. I doubt he ever gets another gig associated with the NFL.

All this for some random trim?

Sapp shoulda just gone back to his room, ordered a SpectraVision[3] movie and called it a night.

Question: With so much to potentially lose, why would someone like Warren Sapp hire a sex worker?

[1] No Trey Songz

[2] Seriously, what is Tinder all about?

[3] This no longer exists, I know.

Monday, February 2, 2015

AB.com Monday Open Mic.

How about that Super Bowl? If you're a Patriots fan, you should go out and but a Mass Lottery ticket because you've got that kinda luck. If you're a Seahawks fan, might I suggest you refrain from playing any Nirvana or staring out the window at the falling rain today.

Either way, what an awful ending to a sorta good game.

Here's you open mic for the day. Use it to talk sh*t about the aforementioned game, the somewhat awful commercials, the lame (Missy Elliott excluded) halftime show, the groundhog gifting us another 6 weeks of winter, or whatever.

Question: What's on your mind today?!?

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

President Obama's Desperation Heave At The Buzzer.

Did anyone watch last night's State Of the Union address? Does anyone even still care anymore? Am I the only one who's found The Obama Presidency to be as devastatingly disappointing and underwhelming as "Yeezus"? Maybe it's just me.

I dunno, watching the President rattle off a sh*tload of new initiatives that have about as much a chance of becoming law as me getting drafted by the Vancouver Grizzlies, I couldn't help but think about how much promise this man once held. Seeing him reduced to guaranteed applause talking points for the 6th time, it was disarmingly evident how hard it is for a black man to get things done in Washington, DC, provided that black man's name isn't John Wall, because John Wall gets things done and John Wall is awesome!



But back to that other black guy running DC, yeah the President looks like a man defeated. It's like he's trying to convince America that he's still got it, when he knows he can't deliver 99% of the stuff he's promising. He's like a man making one last desperate plea to stop his wife from signing divorce papers.[1]
I'll go to counseling! (Free community college!)

Yes, by all means, let your mother move in with us! (Let's pass comprehensive immigration reform!)

I'll stay off Instagram and quit messin' with thots! (We'll reform the criminal justice system!)
I think in some odd way, watching the partisan sniping and gridlock of the past 8 years is probably going to sour an entire generation of millenials on the electoral process. Those poor young people thought electing Obama would fix world hunger, guarantee them 6 figure jobs post-graduation, and erase racism simply via the ballot box. Little did they (or hell, even I) realize the level of douchbaggery, racial bullshit, and outright assholery that the GOP had in store. I'm betting large swaths of those early twentysomethings are so disillusioned they'll just sit out the next few election cycles.

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if that was the GOP's goal all along. #GrandHu$tle

Question: What's The Lame Duck Obama Administration gonna look like over the next 24 months? Any chance anything he said last night gets passed?

[1] Not that I'd know. I got 13 years in the game.