They're Not Laughing With You, Alvin...

...they're laughing at you.

Witness the latest in Palmetto State f*ckery, as everyone's favorite mentally challenged Senate candidate cuts a rug to the delight of a bunch of North Carolina (WTH?!?) morning zoo jocks.



Funny as this might seem to some folks, has anyone ever stopped and thought about what would happen if this guy actually wins? Stranger things (ie: winning the Democratic nomination in the first place) have happened.

Question: Who is advising Alvin Greene, and why don't they ask him to step aside and stop making a joke of himself?

AB.com Hot Topics - Discovery Standoff, Kanye, AppleTV.

[Editor's Note: AB.com NewsBriefs is now Hot Topics.]

I'm busy today, here's the rundown...

Discovery Standoff - It's not often that my adopted hometown makes the news. Yesterday Silver Spring was got worldwide attention when some deranged moron walked into the Discovery Channel corporate headquarters and took 3 people hostage before catching one to the melon. The guy's Dear John letter was filled with all sorts of nonsense, but the focus seems to be more on his "extreme environmentalism" than the fact that he was also advocating "population control" and seemed to have some really odd John & Kate + 8 fetish. Your usual suspects on the right are already distorting the event to "expose" the violent nature of tree-huggers. Sorry folks, this guy was no "greenie", he was a psychopath. Not the same thing.

My Name Is Earl - Not to get all racist and whatnot, but the preemptive evacuation of East Coast beaches in anticipation of Hurricane Earl has me wondering: why the heck do all the badass canes' have "ethnic" names. Katrina. Hugo. Alberto. Hortense. Isidore. Rita. Felix. Somethin' ain't right. If they name a hurricane "Kanye" this season, we might need to have Rebb'n Al look into this.

Speaking Of Kanye - Am I the only one underwhelmed with the singles he's "leaked" so far? "Power" still hasn't grown on me. That song with Beyonce was so bad, I was just waiting for the Brian Pumper guest verse. "Monster" has more stars than Team USA, but it still doesn't knock. I'm not saying Ye' fell off, but maybe that whole Taylor Swift thing knocked him off his game a little.

Peace In The Middle East - I don't think anyone reasonably expects any miraculous outcome from this week's ongoing Israel/Palestine peace talks at the State Department. There's just too much bad blood, and too much history for this to be conveniently resolved over half smokes and Bud Light Lime. Then again, stranger things have happened. One thing's for certain: if the Red Sea does part and something of substance gets done, you can rest assured Obama will somehow be blamed.

Steve Jobs Latest Grand Hu$tle - One of these days, I'll learn not to buy the first iteration of any new gadget. Apple's unveiling of its latest toys, an updated AppleTV and iPod Touch with all the iPhone 4G goodies, means its only a matter of time before the newest iPad comes out, rendering last year's splurge obsolete. Seriously, this is going to get comical at some point. Now, my iTouch is 2 models behind, as the newest one has a slick HD display, FaceTime, 2 cameras, and all kinds of other slick sh*t. And yeah, I'mma get me one. If anyone wants to play "lets make a deal" and cop a perfectly good iTouch 3G, and an old 64GB Video iPod, hit me on email. I can't justify buying yet another device without getting rid of something in return. Think about the starvin' children in Africa!!!

Question: What'll come of the Middle East peace talks? You feelin' Kanye's latest leaks? Did Steve Jobs get you yet again?

New Left Media's BeckaPolooza Documentary.

I hate sounding like a Stan, but this guy's videos are always so on point, I wonder why NLM doesn't have a bigger platform yet.



And if you're wondering, yes, I was (sorta) looking for this dude [||] the other day, no I didn't run into him, but yes, I did run into some of the characters he's interviewing.

AB.com Hot Topics - Iraq, Bron Bron, And Failin' Palin.

[Editor's Note: AB.com NewsBriefs is now Hot Topics.]

I'm busy today, here's the rundown...

Iraq War - We're mostly outta there and Obama's giving a victory lap speech tonight. I obviously am happy we're drawing down forces, but not everyone's so chipper. What's your read?

Please. Fire. Robert. Gibbs. Yesterday. - Man, is there any better manifestation of the term "Human Fail" than the snarky Robert Gibbs?



I'd be the last one the defend the vapid Gretchen Carlson of Fox And Friends, a woman who makes Jessica Simpson look like a Rhodes Scholar, but come on Gibbs, really? If you aren't going to answer even basic gotcha questions, why bother going on Fox News? Cause, you know, all they ask is gotcha questions.

Lebron's Baby Mom's Prenup - Word is circulating that Miami Heat star Lebron James has an "arrangement" with his childrens' mother to pay her a one time lump sum $25M should the couple part ways. The money is for the typical pain and suffering, but also for her to keep her mouth shut (aka: don't pull a SuperHead) just for good measure. Is this a smart business move, or an unnecessary formality?

Team USA Squeaks One Out - Man, it looked like the boys might lose one versus Brazil yesterday, but the basketball Gods clearly showed who they favored, leaving Team USA undefeated.



It's hard to believe that the United States hasn't won the World Basketball Championship since 1994, but we're got a great chance this Summer. If you haven't been following this team, get familiar.

Failin' Palin - Now, only 1 in 4 Americans thinks Miss Sarah is qualified to be Prez. Folks, I told ya'll this long ago: this woman's no moron. Running for President (and thus, becoming an insider again) would ruin all of the inexplicable pull she has over those who follow her. I suspect she'll claim some nonsense about "helping Americans more by remaining a Washington outsider" and sit it out. Because it's hard to keep cashing $100k checks for speaking engagements if you're actually a candidate. That isn't happening.

Takers Takes The Top Box Office Spot - Not that I was able to get out the house for it, but a drama/action flick with a predominantly black cast finished first at the box office this weekend.



No need to lie. Much like recent movies Brooklyn's Finest and The Losers, I have no freakin' idea what this movie's about. Are they robbers? Dope boys? Rappers with very lousy acting skills? You tell me. Still, I wonder if we should be celebrating yet another flick that perpetuates the stereotype of black criminology.

Question: What will Obama say during tonight's primetime speech? Did we "win" Iraq, or merely cut losses and leave? What about Bron's "Prenup"? Did you see Takers? What's your take?

Poll Position: Obama's Passing Grade.

Last week, I gave my grade on President Obama's performance after 19 months on the job. While I agreed with much of what he'd done legislatively, I thought his leadership qualities left much to be desired and gave him an overall grade of C+. Ya'll were more or less on the same page.With elections and the lame duck session on the horizon, it'll be interesting to see whether Obama pushes for any more legislation or just falls back till the dust settles. We'll see.

Question: What grade did you give the President and why?!?

Caption This Photo.