Newt Wants To Take You To The Moon, Baby!!!

Lemme go on record: I officially want Newt to win the GOP nomination, because it's going to raise the possibility of an Obama reelection from roughly 65% (if he faces Mitt) to 99.999% (it Newt wins).

Why, because Gingrich's latest grandiose brainfart is literally pie in the sky.

Newt Gingrich wants to colonize the moon.

He loves to talk space exploration and a campaign stop on Florida’s space coast provided the perfect opportunity.

It’s just the kind of Gingrich big-think for which he has been ridiculed by others in the GOP field, including Mitt Romney. But Wednesday’s speech — which Gingrich himself called “grandiose” — could actually resonate politically in Florida, where space exploration is good politics 14 miles away from Cape Canaveral. The space coast, home to many NASA employees, has been struggling lately as the space agency launched its last shuttle in July, and President Barack Obama canceled the lunar landing program in 2010.

In his remarks, Gingrich dismissed the notion that his ideas are over the top, pointing to previous presidents and inventors who fueled changes in technology.

By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American,” Gingrich said, drawing applause from the crowd. “I will, as president, encourage the introduction of the northwest ordinance for space to put a marker down that we want Americans to think boldly about the future and we want Americans to go out and study hard and work hard and together, we’re going to unleash the American people to build the country we love.”

Space age, pimpin', folks. Newt knows all about that.



So, a guy who's against giving the 600,000 residents of The District Of Columbia statehood would gladly grant such a right to the citizens of Newtlandia. Yeah, that sh*t makes sense to me too. I can already see the general election anti-Newt campaign ad.

Come on, GOP, seriously? Do I need to write a term paper to convince you how bad an idea this is? Click here for essays if you really need a better understanding of why this guy's a terrible idea.

Make history in 2012: Re-elect the black guy.

Question: Should such an out of this world comment disqualify Gingrich from running? Is this MF out of his mind?

"I Might Have Tacos..."

Okay, I know this isn't supposed to be funny. This is a story about police brutality, profiling, and other serious, real life sh*t.[1]



But come on, this is effin' hilarious. This dude just can't shut up and quit while he's (somewhat) ahead. He just keeps talking and talking, and digging and digging.



Way to marginalize a serious issue, Mayor Maturo.[2]

100 Cyber CapriSuns™ says this guy becomes a hero on the Conservative talk/cable news circuit by Monday morning.

And with that, I'm off to Taco Bell myself. Yo quiero.

Question: Does this comment really deserve the scrutiny it is receiving.

[1] Sonnnnn!

[2] And me.

Caption This Photo.

Barack Obama in testy tarmac exchange with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer [UK Telegraph]

AB.com Open Mic Thursday.

Busy today. Entertain yourselves.

Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Mitt Romney Pays (Much!) Less In Taxes Than You Do. Don't Hate The Player!!!

We all knew Mittens was gettin' paper, but even I didn't know he was bringin' in this kinda cake.

Mitt Romney’s campaign released details of his federal tax returns on Tuesday morning, showing that he is likely to pay a total of $6.2 million in taxes on $45 million in income over the two tax years of 2010 and 2011.

The details of the returns, confirmed by a senior campaign official, provide the most detailed view yet of his wealthy family’s finances. The disclosure comes after a barrage of pressure to release his returns — which Mr. Romney has never done, even when he was elected governor of Massachusetts.

The disclosure — reported early Tuesday by The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News — showed a vast array of investments, from a recently closed Swiss bank account to holdings in Bermuda and the Cayman Islands, all underscoring the breadth and depth of his wealth, which has become a central issue in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination.

Mr. Romney said last week that his effective tax rate was “about 15 percent,” a figure lower than that of many affluent Americans. But his returns suggested that he paid an effective tax rate of nearly 14 percent.

In addition to his 2010 taxes, Mr. Romney is set to release estimates for his 2011 taxes, which he will file in April. The campaign will report that he will pay $3.2 million in taxes for 2011, for an effective tax rate of 15.4 percent. That is a slightly higher effective rate than he paid the year before, when he paid about $3 million to the Internal Revenue Service.

Mr. Romney also said that there were “no surprises” in his tax returns. Referring to the fact that nearly all of his income is taxed as capital gains at a 15 percent rate, rather than as earned income at rates of up to 35 percent, Mr. Romney questioned a proposal by Newt Gingrich, the former House speaker, to reduce capital gains taxes to zero.

Let's be clear here: there's nothing wrong, or even remotely immoral about the percentage of taxes Romney is paying. It's the law. Money gained from investments (as well as money gained from investing someone else's money!) is taxed at a much lower clip than earned income. Always has been, always will be. It is what it is, and you can't hate the player here. Nor the game for that matter.



What does piss me off is Mitt's perpetual assertion that people are somehow envious of his success. This line of reasoning comes up in every debate, as well as Mitt's assertion that he is a self-made millionaire who didn't inherit anything. The inference seems to be that practically anyone can pull this off, if they just happen to be smart and resourceful enough. This is obvious bullsh*t.

Romney's Dad was the one-time Governor of Michigan, and CEO of American Motors Corporation. It's fair to say that Mitt's upbringing wasn't that of a typical American, and it's equally fair to say that his father's wealth and influence opened doors that many other Americans aren't privy to.

So, coming from a rich family and becoming rich isn't really all that impressive to me. Sorry. Bragging on your success when you Dad's a millionaire is like starting on third base and bragging about scoring a run. Most of us start at home plate. Hell, some of us start in the dugout.

We don't hate you because of your success, Mitt. We dislike you because you're a jerk.

Question: Is is fair to tax earned income at a far higher rate than investment income? Should Mitt stop running with that "don't hate my success" line, or is it a tailor-made Obama campaign ad just waiting to get made?!?

GOPer Calls Obama A Muslim. Santorum Fails To Correct Her.

You hate giving people credit for sh*t they're supposed to do[1] but many will recall John McCain's admonition of a woman who referred to President Obama as a Muslim back in 08'. During a campaign in which McCain's running mate was delivering daily stump speeches about Obama "paling around with terrorists", this stuck out as a particularly classy moment, even though it really shouldn't have been.

So when I watched GOP back-runner Rick Santorum come face to face with his very one "Crash" moment yesterday, I expected the same. Cause, you know, Santorum actually worked alongside Obama in the Senate, and he's supposedly Mr. Family Values and whatnot.

Wrong.



Asked about this incident later, Santorum basically said it wasn't his job to correct birthers (although he's notably done so before) and that the President could do that himself because he's "a big boy". Really.

Come one, Rick, would it really have hurt you to do the right thing here? What Would Jesus Do?

And by "Jesus", I mean Ronald Reagan.

On second thought, since correcting this woman prolly woulda done more harm than good, "Jesus" prolly wouldn't have done sh*t either.

Nice job, Santorum. Classy!

Question: Does it disturb you that GOP candidates continue to play this game of cat & mouse with racial politricks?

[1] "Supposed to do" meaning, that's what decent people do.

Could Newt Gingrich Become America's First A$$hole President?!?

Watching his "acceptance" speech with my wife the other night, it finally occurred to me that a Newt Gingrich Presidency would be in many ways even more historic than Barack Obama's.

Yeah, we've had a black President. So what, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Gingrich's ascent to 1600 Penn Ave would be far more historic.

Because Newt could officially become, The First A$$hole President.

Think about it, there's a tailor made campaign theme song already made for him, courtesy of an Obama supporter, sure, but it's still very appropriate.

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know,
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs...

America should heed Yeezy's advice and run away fast as we can, but that's clearly not what's happening in the GOP primaries thus far. Newt is running on a platform of populism, media/elite/establishment hatred, and greasy talk. And it's working, precisely because he does all of these things so much better than his opponents. And quite honestly, he also does them better than the current President.
Still, it's hard for me to believe that GOP primary voters are actually getting behind this guy. Policy-wise, he's anything but a "hardcore Conservative". His Family Values would make Carl Winslow blush. He flip flops even worse than Mitt.



And of yeah, did I mention he's an a$$hole?!?







Make history, America. Re-elect the black guy.

Question: How do you explain Newt's appeal and success? Can he maintain this momentum going into Florida? Does it alarm you that a guy with his temperament is actually doing well in the polls?