Wednesday, December 2, 2009

People I Strongly Dislike: The Everest College Dude.

Let's face it, being unemployed sucks. I don't have any firsthand knowledge, thank you Jesus, but sitting around all day waiting for the phone to ring with a job offer can't be much fun. And given the skyrocketing rates of joblessness in the country right now, more people than ever are becoming familiar with the dregs of daytime television, especially judge shows, which I like to refer to as "soap operas for unemployed men".

Even though I'm out of the house from 9-to-5, I still have a DVR full of judge shows, Maury Povich, and the like. And inevitably, if you watch these shows enough, you'll see there's a whole cottage industry of checks cashed services, personal injury lawyers, and career colleges that prey on those down and out. One such commercial would be those dreadful "Everest College" ads, which feature the most annoying Negro this side of For The Love Of Ray J.

Perhaps you've seen em', maybe you ain't. Get familiar.

Basically, the dude is saying "hey, you lazy mother*******, you ain't doin' sh*t else with your life. You might as well get your mama to co-sign for this overpriced student loan that won't land you a job, and that results in a diploma barely worth the paper it's printed on. Face it, you're a loser sitting in your parents' basement looking at pRon, eating Froot Loops in your drawls at 2pm, with a one way ticket headed to nowhere. You can't be any more of a loser than you already are, so call already, you herb!"

Or something like that.

Seriously, who got the great idea of harassing people into dropping $30k on an essentially useless "degree"?!? I hope anyone sitting at home thinking about calling that number Googles the term "everest college ripoff" first. And no, I do not believe this dizzy Beyonce wannabe actually got a job with her Everest college degree. Sorry, no can do.

Cause a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but blowing 30 stacks on a piece of paper is prolly even worse. Community college is much cheaper, and gives you a much better chance of finding a real gig than a diploma mill like this.

Go. Sit. Down.

Question: Does The Everest College Dude annoy you? What are some of your other favorite predatory daytime commercials?

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