Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ashy Or Classy? : American Classics by Russell Simmons.

As ya'll know, I've made the whole "rapper's vanity clothing line" thing a regular staple here at There was Andre 3000's Ghetto Bagger Vance line, Monica's Traaaap Gear for Toddlers™, and who could forget Pharell's Billionaire Boys Club? The general consensus on all these lines was mixed: some people liked em', some people hated em', everybody thought I was old and outta touch.

What. Ever.

Anyways, here's our latest entry in the tax writeoff series, the creatively titled American Classics by Russell Simmons.

Simmons' line differs from the others in that its not high end, overpriced crap destined for your local discount retailer's clearance rack. Nope, Russell knows the true value of his gear, so he's saving us the trouble and embarrassment and releasing it right where it's needed most: Walmart. No, seriously, that Walmart.

I'm a snobbish Target guy, and don't even know where my nearest Walmart is, so it's unlikely I'd ever size this stuff up in person. That said, given the crackhead prices ($12-$29) of the various items, I suppose we should give Blood Diamond Russ some credit. Maybe he's trying to atone for this monstrosity.

And this one.

And this one too.

Man, that's still painful to watch.

Anyways, here's the goods. Try to stay awake as you peruse.


I suppose we should applaud Russ for making a line of affordable gear, as well as staying true to his own personal taste. But c'mon, this sh*t is just boring. Who the heck wants to dress like an accountant on his day off? Break out the Dockers, Chip! Where's the swag, Russ, where's the swag??

I guess this beats dressing like a British lawn jockey, but only by so much.

Nice job Russ. I guess.

Question: What do you think of American Classics by Russell Simmons?!? Would you rock em' or is this gear too plain vanilla for you? Which store do you prefer: Walmart, Target, or God forbid, K-Mart?!?

American Classics by Russell Simmons [WalMart]

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