Friday, December 26, 2008

People I Strongly Dislike: The Washington Wizards.

Okay, that's enough. I've had it. I am officially renouncing my fandom.

Last night was a microcosm of the dread that is being a Wizards fan. The team is next to last in the league. They had lost 7 straight. They lead the Cleveland Cavs by 7 on the road with less than 2 mins to go. They never scored again. They lost the game.

After more than a decade, thousands of dollars spent in tickets, infinite hours watching, talking about, and thinking about the team, I am formally stepping off the Washington Wizards bandwagon. Not that I had much company...

I know some of you consider dumping your team an act of sacrilege. Well tell the troof and shame the devil. Or however that cliche goes. I'm done.

Done with watching an organization that wouldn't know a good personnel move if it popped them in the face with an inbounds pass.

Done with watching a team full of overpaid imbeciles, completely oblivious to their glaring weaknesses.

Done with caring about a "shooting guard" who shoots barely 30% from the field, but has the gall to do that ignoramus assed "I can't feel my face" gesture when he finally swishes a meaningless 18 footer with his team trailing by 20 late in the 4th quarter. And get a damn shave and haircut while you're at it.

Done with caring about a "power forward" whose next strong move to the basket will be his first.

Done with yelling at a team that can't rotate on "D" and stop leaving 3 point shooters open like it's going out of style. I call that play, which seemingly happens every 4th time downcourt, a "Wizards Special".

Done with caring about a supposedly "Tuff" swingman who couldn't D up if his massive paycheck depended on it.

Done with caring about a monstrously overpaid "point guard" who can't stay healthy, but spends more time blogging than I do.

Done with cheering for a man-child big man who won't hit the boards, but seems to hit every club in town. And you get a haircut too while you're at it.

Done with caring about a two-headed center combo that won't box out for a rebound, but seem to always be boxing each other, literally, in practice. When they're not writing lousy "poetry" of course.

Done with caring about a carousel of coaches who still can't get the excessively basic concept of defending the pick and roll explained to a group of college dropouts (and never wents).

Done with going to games, paying $7 for a Budweiser, and sitting amongst "fans" who spend more time watching each other and the Jumbotron than the actual game. It wouldn't hurt you folks to boo sometimes. Yes, even when, especially when, the home team is the object of your scorn.

Done with cheering on a bunch of losers, and feeling like a loser by proxy.

Done with caring. Period.

Holla back when you win two in a row. Or don't.

Question: Am I committing an act of sacrilege by abandoning my team, or am I fully justified in no longer cheering for this merry band of losers?

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