Friday, December 19, 2008

Fired For "Sloppy Seconds"?!? Wigga Please.

[Editor's Note: Hey, the first hockey-related post at! Score one for diversity! Obama 2012'!!!]

You guys know I'm all for free speech. Yeah, your right to free speech entitles you to a free butt whoopin' if someone disagrees, but this right to expression is sorta what this country was founded on. Well, that, property seizure, and free slave labor, but I digress.

Somebody needs to tell this to the NHL, and the Dallas Stars.
The Dallas Stars dumped Sean Avery yesterday, announcing that the team will not welcome its mouthy forward back from his league-issued six-game suspension, which ended Saturday.

Avery still is under contract to the Stars, who said in a statement that they will not seek to void Avery's four-year, $15.5-million contract, signed in July. So Avery, who is in the first, voluntary stage of the league's substance abuse/behavioral health program for anger management, will remain in limbo until the Stars find a trade partner, assign him to the minor leagues or wait until next offseason and buy him out for two-thirds of his remaining contract value, about $8 million.

It appears that Avery will not play again anytime soon, for his old team, the Rangers, or elsewhere. His derogatory remarks on Dec. 2 about former girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert and her current beau, Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf, will be the last controversial words heard from him for a while.
You're probably wondering exactly what these derogatory remarks are, right? Okay, peep this.

So, if I'm putting 2 and 3 together, it appears that Avery made an offhanded comment about an ex-girlfriend, who just happens to have jumped from one NHL player to another. That was it. He referred to the girl (Actress Elisha Cuthbert. Don't ask me what she's "acted" in.) as his "sloppy seconds". Yeah, it's sorta inappropriate, and really, really, really d-baggish, but is it really bad enough to warrant being suspended, going to counseling, and essentially losing your job over?

The NHL prides itelf on being a league of bad guys, but they axe a dude over something as stoopid as this? Note: I'm soooo not approving of referring to a young lady as "sloppy seconds". That's pretty tasteless and reduces her to an object. But c'mon. The guy shouldn't lose his gig over it.

Years ago, the NBA's Dallas Mavericks assembled an amazing trio of collegiate talent. Jimmy Jackson, Jason Kidd, and a youthful Jamal Mashburn were affectionately known as The Three J's (although Kidd was known as Ason, for obvious reasons) and were poised to take over the league. Two years later, the triumvirate was split and traded away for a reason that didn't make news until months later. Turns out, both Jackson and Kidd were dating singer Toni Braxton, which made for some notable lockeroom tension.

Phaneuf and Avery aren't even teammates, so there's no possibility of such tension there. And this was more likely a dig at Cuthbert, who, let's face it, really should have chosen her next boyfriend from some other sport. I mean, c'mon, dating a hockey player right after you dumped another hockey player? Who does this chick think she is, Alyssa Milano? Diversify. Go find an NBA player or something? I hear Michael Phelps is single. Sheez.

Sorry folks, I just don't see how making an off-color comment about a scorned ex is grounds for basically losing your job. I'm not hockey-literate, so somebody will need to explain this one for me.

Question: Should Avery have essentially lost his job for calling his ex "sloppy seconds"? Have you ever picked up a close friend's "sloppy seconds"? Just how "sloppy" were those seconds? Have you ever been somebody's "sloppy seconds"? Why do the seconds have to be "sloppy" anyway? Who says they can't be "fresh seconds"?

Stars dump former Ranger Avery [NewsDay]

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