Thursday, October 23, 2008

AverageBro & Fam Live Blog The BET Awards: Hour Two.


AB - This show got a lot better. I was about to pull the plug on this whole thing after the first 30 minutes. This is only 2 hours.

AOB - Smooth show. No bad performances so far.

AB - No great ones either.

{ The cipher segment returns. }

AB - The rooftop cypher at the last awards was better. Clearly these dudes ain't freestyling.

AS - Hot.

AB - Who's this asian chick? First the somali cat, now her.

AS - Yeah.

AB - This Blaq Poet cat is hot.

AS - That's Peter Gunz kid. Corey Gunz.

AB - Big deal. That's like sayin' "hey, that's Pete Myers' son". Just as unimpressive.

AS - Stop hatin'.

AB - Yeah, he could flow.

{ T-Pain comes out with some prop to make a joke about a vocoder. It falls flat. }

AB - He's pretty good at this.

{ Common and N.E.R.D. come onstage. }

AB - Remember when Common was still interesting?

{ Everyone else is bored to death. }

AS - Wake me up when it's over. This is like Planet Rock.

{ AOB gets up and starts pop lockin'. }

AB - Go! Go! Go! Go!

{ The "Notorious" trailer plays. }

AB - I'm there opening night.

AOB - Me too.

AS - Who's babysitting?


{ The obligatory Russell Simmons tribute begins. }

{ crickets }

AS - Another Obama shirt.

AB - Bold Prediction. Obama is making a surprise appearance before this is over.

{ T-Pain performs. }

AOB - This dude is caked up.

AB - He's responsible for 75% of the hit songs out now.

AS - He's actually talented though.

AB - Agree. You could blame the vocoder, but you gotta have some talent to come up with this stuff.

{ Lil' Wayne comes out. }

AB - Dwarf #11.

AS - This song is lame, but it's still knockin' for some reason.

AB - I thought this was The Dream at first.

{ Wayne and T-Pain are joined by some woman on stilts, joining the contortionists on stage already. }

AB - The UniverSoul Negro Circus.

{ Lil' Wayne launches into some weak freestyle. }

AS - Did he say I wanna **** Sarah Palin?

AB - McCain old man joke. This will be on The O'Reilly Factor tomorrow.

AOB - Didn't these fools learn from Ludacris?

AB - Obama is somewhere crying.

{ After a middling Ice Cube performance, Ciara comes out to present The MVP Award. }

AB - Lil Wayne winning.

AS - Kanye.

AB - He ain't there. Wayne is winning.

{ Lil' Wayne wins, and comes onstage with a styrofoam cup full of lean, followed by about 30 dudes, one of whom looks like he might be his pastor. }

AB - Did he just say "I got a son droppin' any day"?

AOB - Wow.

{ Another cipher. }

AB - This ain't no cipher. How can you freestyle in a cipher with lines you already recorded on your album?

AOB - The Sarah Palin line was sick.

AB - Fabolous just aired these dudes out.

AOB - Jadakiss was good too.

{ T-Pain sends the 903rd Obama shout out of the night. }

AB - Leave Barack Alone!!!

AOB - T-Pain was a decent host.

AS - He wasn't bad at all.

{ Bow Wow and Soulja Boy close the show. No Obama I guess. }

AS - He stole that glow in the dark suit from Chris Brown.

AB - I thought Snap Music was toast.

AOB - Free Bart? Who's Bart?

{ AOB does his best Soulja Boy! }

AS - You know this song?

AOB - Nah.

{ The show abruptly ends. Kids need to be put to bed. Holla!}

Question - What did you think of the BET Hip Hop Awards? Do all these Obama shout outs and foul mentions of Palin help Barack or is he somewhere crying in his cereal at this Negro Nonsense?

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