Wednesday, July 30, 2008

People I Strongly Dislike: Bluetooth Earpiece D-Bags

I travel a lot with my job, which means I often find myself in the proximity of lots of other "businesspeople". Whether in the airport, a hotel lobby, or restaurant, there's always that one dude who just talks too darned loud on the cell phone.

Sometimes, I wonder if these people talk loud intentionally just to let you know that they've got a really important job and need you to know that by proxy they're important.

I guess these folks never got the memo that talking loud and sharing the intimate details of your business deal with 40 of your closest friends doesn't make you important. Nope, it makes you a total and complete Douchebag.

Even worse is the guy who puts his cellphone on speaker (presumably to free his hands so he can write, tie his Kenneth Coles, or play with himself) while conducting his important, but not really important call. Many an airport catnap has been interrupted by this species of Travelling D-Bag, as he berates his Administrative Assistant for not correctly filing his expense report. The nerve of those minions.

However, as technology has improved, so has the cellphone itself, culminating in the ultimate killer-app for travelling d-bags worldwide. That's right, the Bluetooth Earpiece.

Now, the Travelling D-Bag doesn't even have to hold a phone to his ear and talk loudly to let you know he's more important and more better than you. He can just clip this baby on his ear and floss hands-free.

I won't even fake, I have a Bluetooth earpiece that I sometimes use with my BlackBerry. It does come in handy when you're in the comfort of your own car, but otherwise it's pretty silly. It looks dumb and sounds dumberer to see a grown man channeling some random Star Trek character. Just hold the friggin' phone already.

Of course, this hands-free phenomenon results in some very odd social interactions. Travelling D-Bag will appear to be talking to himself (about expense reports) as if he's some homeless dude until you get up close to him or peep the earpiece in his other ear. And now T D-B thinks it's acceptable to conduct a staff meeting while au toilet, which is just nasty on so many levels. No conversation can be that important. Droppin' a deuce is important. Expense reports are not.

Maybe the fine folks at Bose can come up with D-Bag cancelling headphones.

Question: Do you dislike these BlueTooth Earpiece D-Bags as much as I do? How abou the garden variety Travelling D-Bag?

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