Wednesday, July 2, 2008 Guest Post: How Much Child Support Is Too Much?!?

[Editor's Note: I am sorta hooked on BlackAndMarriedWithKids if you can't tell. TheDad and TheMom explore the million and one different facets of modern day family life, yet keep it breezy and humorous. If you still haven't peeped this site, you have no idea what you're missing. Since TheDad is taking requests, and mega-child support agreements are what's hot on the streets right now (Russell Simmons, $40k/month), I figured who better to go in on this but BMWK? Show some love you know where.]

Let's talk, open and honest and whatnot about child support. Now I know off the top just the mere mention of the term has some of you squirming around in your desk chairs but let’s talk about this. I've been asked is child support fair for the brothas?

Well.... I think it depends on what brothas you're talking about. It's probably viewed as too tough for men that do the right thing and too relaxed for men boys that don't. So instead here are 10 random observations from yours truly for you to digest:

1. Believe it or not I think even though you never hear about them there are a lot of mothers and fathers who come up with something that works for them and more importantly the child. They both realize how important the roles they play are in that child's life so they make it happen. Like I said you don't hear about them most of the time because the ones taking the spotlight are the deadbeat dads who have to be drug into court and forced to handle their responsibilities or the mothers who abuse their support. We never hear about these other folks but a lot of them do exist.

2. A female coworker of mine was talking about how women that receive support should have to document or show how they use the money.... uh, I don't agree with that one, who has the time to go through that mess because a small percentage of women are acting a fool.

3. It seems like the guys that go out of their way the most to do what’s best for their kids are the ones that get abused the most by the system and the mothers at times, while on the other hand these dudes walking around making babies like running water seem to get all the breaks and the chances to do the right thing from the mothers and the courts. I've seen it happen many a time.

4. Listening to Steve Harvey last week I heard him drop some knowledge on a guy that had called in and was talking about the money he was paying and how he wanted it to be used. Steve mentioned this to him... When your kids opens that refrigerator door, it costs money, the showers they take cost money, that prescription medicine when they get sick costs money, that couple dollars to hang out at the mall, or go to the school dance- you guessed it - money. I think some cats are under the impression that the money they send should be set up in some kind of trust fund or something or given directly to the child but that kid is running up a tab everyday that the person they live with has to handle.

5. Ladies - if he's not taking care of the rack of kids he already has around the city, why chance having sex with the dude? Really…

6. Fellas - if she is a candidate to be on Maury Povich one day trying to explain why "You Are The Father" keep it in your pants. BBD said it best, "Never trust a big butt and a smile"

7. I've heard a bunch of guys talk about how there is so much more for a man to provide than money to a child which is true but none of these guys I'm talking about would stiff their own kids so why do they feel obligated to make the argument?

8. If you pay child support but don't make an effort to spend time with your kid - you suck.

9. If you're a tennis shoe daddy buying Jordans at Christmas and Birthdays but won't show up for your kids games and recitals your weak.

10. If your kids father is doing the right thing and you know it but you won't let him see the kids because he won't be with you, you need to get a life.

Question: Should a man be able to see his kids if he doesn't pay child support? Should a woman have to show what she does with the money? Do you have any particularly bad child support stories you'd like to share? How would you change child support?

Kimora Lee Simmons Gets Sole Custody of Children [People]

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