Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Hillary Clinton To Haters: "Fall Back!"

They say bad news comes in threes. I guess Hillary Clinton is breathing proof of this. I haven't seen a person have this bad a weekend since... well, since my Tarheels got blasted in the Final Four Saturday.

First, those tax returns. Now I'll be straight with ya'll, I don't think there's anything wrong with cashing in on your notoriety. If Ashley Alexandra Dupre can get caked-up off fellating a Governor, who's to say Hillary can't make a lil' pocket change for enduring eight years of Bill being fellated by chubby interns in the next room over? Newsflash: except for Dennis Kucinich, nobody running for President has been broke anytime recently. John McCain married a beer magnate. Obama's wife pulls in $300k/yr as a hospital administrator. John Edwards has a 28,000 square foot home. These folks aren't exactly begging you to buy a t-shirt to feed their Jamba Juice addiction starving. On the other hand, the struggling coal miners in Wilkes-Barre might not agree with my assessment, which means this prolly isn't a good look.

Then her little campaign story about a pregnant woman being denied medical attention and subsequently dying is a complete and total BOLDFACED LIE misunderstanding. Considering the whole Bosnia snafu last week, this isn't really a good look either.

Worst of all, her chief strategist/ace boon Mark Penn gets outted for getting a $300k consulting gig with Colombia to push a trade agreement that Clinton herself adamantly opposes. This is the tactical equivalent of Jeremiah Wright being caught on Madison with a few vials of crack in his socks. Of course, this being the Clintons and all, dude doesn't even have to fall on a sword. He simply shifts gears from being a paid advisor to a non-paid one. What. A. Country.

So, when faced with the task of responding to all these allegations today, what does Hillary do? She pulls a classic jack move from page 142 of The Clinton Book On Manipulative Politricks and starts urging President Bush to boycott the Beijing Olympics. Haven't we seen this one before? Remember how she deflected Bosnia-Gate by essentially saying "well what about that crazy assed Preacher Barack has, huh, what about him?".

This whole thing culminated in the most hardbody/gangsta/gully brush off in the history of the world, EVAR!!! When Clinton was questioned about the whole Mark Penn issue today on the stump, she threw shade on reporters by feigning deafness. Peep game at the 25 second mark of this clip.

"What's that ya' say? Huh? I can't hear you! Huh? Ha Ha Ha!!!!"

Clintons, you gotta love em'. Or not.

Question: Does Hillary Clinton have ANY credibility left?

Is Hillary's Much-Maligned Hospital Story Fundamentally True? [ABC News]

Hillary Clinton faces battle after Mark Penn's resignation [Telegraph.co.uk]

Clinton Tax Returns: What Will They Reveal [ABC News]

Hillary Clinton calls on Bush to boycott Olympic opening [LA Times]

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