A few months back, my wife had a particularly bad incident at a local grocery store, and called to tell me about it. I wasn't in the midst of a great day myself, so this ended up being blog material, in the form of the very controversial post, The Welfare Mother In the Mercedes Benz (aka: F**k Giant Food). The post gained some steam around les Internetes, even landing on a few conservative political sites, uplifted as an example of why the welfare system doesn't work (WTH?). I won't even bother regurgitating the story, I think you just have to read it to understand.
In retrospect, I made some mistakes in the post. I perhaps made it too personal by mentioning too much about my wife, her car, and our home. Some commenters clearly took offense with this, lobbing insults at my wife (for being pampered), me (for being too materialistic and bourgeois), and even the baby (for needing organic food). There was a somewhat surprising pattern to the comments, it seemed to be that men agreed that they'd be equally pissed if their wives were treated like that, while women thought my wife and I were being too snooty.
I think that by focusing too much on my wife's accomplishments and appearance (particularly her looks), I painted what many saw as an elitist portrait of your typical welfare recipient, by implying that my wife should in no way be mistaken for one. I'm pretty sure this is what undermined my overall point, which was that nobody should be assumed to be one. Again, live and learn.
Many of you have asked what happened since then. I simply forgot to provide a followup before now, but long story short, the store manager (a black woman) called and issued an apology, acknowledging that the store policy wasn't being consistently enforced. Instead, some cashiers did so when they chose, and this certainly could be seen as biased. However, it was a store policy, and would not be altered. My wife accepted her apology, but we haven't returned to the store. Turns out another store, just down the street, sells the babyfood for less anyway. Call it even.
I do hope the overall point of 'not just letting stuff slide' got through, but I can understand why it didn't, given how I rolled out the story. Again, rookie mistake, but I still hope you can take that one to heart.
After all, whether you say anything or not, you're still sending a message.
Just in case you have no idea what this is all about, peep the original post and its followup comments.
The Welfare Mother In the Mercedes Benz (aka: F**k Giant Food)
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Average Bro - My friend just told me about your site and kudos for the updated post and acknowledging any mistakes you made in the previous post. I think it's hard to please everyone.
As I was saying my friend told me about your blog (loving it by the way) and we launched into almost an hour long discussion about customer service and the lack of it when it in black areas. I've encountered racial incidents at the hands of white people in grocery stores and called the manager to complain. BUT CAN YOU SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY we refuse to provide good customer service to our own? It's re-damn-diculous why I, a black woman, can stand in the check out line at a grocery store in a black area, be checked out by another black woman, and receive NO "hello", "goodbye", "happy holidays", "thanks", or even "you're total is" $X, while men and white people in front of me and behind me receive that and more? Or why is when I go to a beauty supply store, no one is willing to help me or answer my questions, instead ignore me or tell me they don't know to every question I have about a product they usually sell in the store. Or my favorite this weekend - I get ignored at the department store by a black male sales rep but the white couple behind me gets a "can I help you?" Much like you did, I have to paint a picture of myself - again black woman, well-dressed, and speak English, and smell nice. I'm not someone you'd run away from BUT for some reason, we (BLACK WOMEN and MEN) don't even give each other proper customer service. I think it's a damn shame. I don't expect the lack of respect from white people and I don't expect it and hate to accept it from us.
I had to get that off my chest, now I feel better. Thanks.
TSG
New to your blog and the read has been interesting. I agree that Giant should have a better policy to protect the privacy of its customers. I know firsthand how minorities and women continue to be subject to ridiculous forms of discrimination in everyday life and have should always stand up for their rights. However, I do agree with others that the post bordered on offensive and bougie. Don't really see how your privilege has anything to do with the right to be treated fairly. Such an elaborate socioeconomic description of you and your family is odd given your desire for anonymity.
In regards to what TSG said above, I think an even better question is "Why are so many customers/consumers in our communities willing to accept maltreatment?"
Speaking up for oneself and bringing matters to the attention of the manager is one step (and more than what many people do), but what about all the people who continue to spend their dollars in businesses that blatantly disrespect them day after day? Ultimately money (or the withholding of it) is what talks. Until we show that we are willing to spend our dollars elsewhere, not much will change.
@ Rabin
This a great question when you consider the treatment that many of us get at Korean-owned beauty supply stores.
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