Sad, but true story.
So, I'm on my way into the office this morning, and AverageSis rings my cell. She is irate. She had just visited our neighborhood Giant Food grocery store, and experienced an incident of discrimination no customer should have to endure.
AverageBaby (our son) is pushing 14 months now and eats like a little piglet. Since he isn't too keen on solids, this means several trips per week to the grocery store to pile up on Gerber Organic Chicken and Wild Rice, which is the only thing he will reliably consume. Each time we go, there are no more than 10-12 jars on the shelf at a time. Since the store won't sell you this stuff by the caseload, this often means we have to go in to re-up every other day. My wife usually makes this trip, and unless something else is needed, only buys the baby food and seldom anything else. Pay attention, because here's where the trouble begins.
Today, she goes in, grabs the customary dozen or so jars, and heads to the checkout line. When she finally gets to the front of the line and empties the jars from her basket, the cashier, whom my wife had never seen before, asks her the dumbest question in the history of mankind.
"Are you using W.I.C. for this?"
Aw, hell naw!
If you're bourgeois and somehow unaware, W.I.C. stands for Women, Infants, and Children.
Here's more info from it's Wiki entry:
W.I.C. is a Federal assistance program of the Food and Nutrition Service (FNS) of the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) for health care and nutrition of low-income pregnant women, breastfeeding women, and infants and children under the age of five. The eligibility requirement is a family income below 185% of the U.S. Poverty Income Guidelines. If a person who participates in other benefit programs, or has family members participate in the Food Stamp Program, Medicaid, or Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, they automatically meet the eligibility requirements. This program is unrelated to the USDA's "Food Stamp" program.My wife (nicely) asks the woman why she would make the assumption that she needed to use W.I.C. to pay for baby food? The woman simply says it's store policy to ask first since they would otherwise have to void the order, but fails to provide any further explanation. My wife (nicely) asks her why she wasn't asked this very same question the other dozens of times she comes in, but the cashier (who is white, though it doesn't really matter) simply repeats the company line. A white man in line behind my wife witnesses the whole thing, but doesn't say anything. My wife finishes checking out, grabs the baby food and AverageBaby, and leaves the store.
WIC participants often receive a monthly check or voucher. In many poor areas, "WIC stores" exist that only sell food for vouchers issued by the state WIC program, and do not accept any other form of payment.
When she gets in the car, she thinks about it for a moment, and decides she just can't let it slide. She goes back in the store, receipt-in-hand, and heads to the customer service desk. She is virtually ignored for 5 minutes while the customer rep attends to an issue for a white customer. When she is finished, the customer service rep directs her attention to a white woman standing in line behind my wife.
Aw, hell naw!
My wife (nicely) interjects and lets the rep know she was in line first, and the rep (not so nicely) asks my wife "what's the problem?". My wife (nicely) asks the rep what the store policy is on asking people whether or not they are using W.I.C. The rep simply says "it's the store policy", without any further elaboration. My wife (nicely) asks to speak with the manager. 15 minutes elapse. The manager shows up, and when prompted, doesn't elaborate any further either. My wife notes the names of each person she has interacted with while in the store, and asks the manager for his last name and the number for their corporate office. He declines to provide either, and walks away.
Aw, hell naw!
My wife (who is irate by now), simply leaves the store, goes home, Googles the number for Giant Food's Corporate office, and dials in the complaint. She asks why this store seems to have a selectively enforced policy on asking people whether or not they are using a W.I.C., and whether or not they have ever considered that this might be, just slightly offensive to some shoppers. Corporate files the complaint and promises to call the store and discuss this issue with the manager, then report back to my wife.
End of story (for now).
I know some of you are probably reading this and thinking "what's the big deal?". The big deal is, why in the hell would a cashier look at my wife an assume we're in need of public assistance? My wife is a statuesque former college homecoming queen and beauty pageant winner. She also (pre-AverageBaby) was a bank vice president. She is educated and intelligent. She is home by choice, not by circumstance, because her husband (who is also intelligent and educated) can afford the luxury. She took the baby food outside and placed it in her Mercedes Benz. She drove the Mercedes Benz back to a half-million dollar home.
But all the cashier saw when she looked at her was a welfare mother.
She didn't see a dedicated mom raising a child prodigy. She didn't see a husband who works his ass off to ensure their child has the best opportunities to succeed in life. No, she just saw a welfare mom.
And since the store, at all turns confirmed that this was indeed a company policy, I can only assume that Giant Food doesn't look at my wife and see anything more than a welfare mom.
So, yeah. It's kind of a big deal to me.
I always tell you guys to pick your battles wisely. So, here's my challenge: don't keep letting sh*t slide.
Sometimes when you're black (or heck, any minority), oppression and discrimination are so much a part of everyday life that in a dysfunctional way (think battered woman's syndrome) they feel normal. Think about all the times you are followed as you shop in a store. Think about all the times you're completely ignored when you actually want help. Think about all the times you go to a restaurant and the hostess attempts to seat you at the rear, despite all the empty tables at the front. Men, think about all the times you board an airplane and get asked whether or not you play pro ball. Think about all the times in a store the person in line in front of you was greeted with a smile, while you were greeted with indifference.
Think about the welfare mom with the Benz.
I'm not asking for any letter writing campaign or a boycott of Giant Food. I'm not calling the NAACP or Al Sharpton to fly in and protest the Evil Grocery Empire. I'm sure as hell not asking you to consider us sympathetic victims (a la: Trent Benefield), because I will mess something up, and I don't need that hanging over my head.
Nope, we're going to do it all by the book. The complaint with Giant Food is filed, and we should have a response in a couple of days. I fully expect someone to apologize to my wife for making such an ignorant assumption, and furthermore, change the policy to ensure more customers aren't discriminated against in the name of speedy checkouts. In short, Giant's outlandish and stereotypical corporate policy needs to either be 1) universally enforced 2) modified to eliminate possible discrimination or 3) eliminated completely. If they can't do either of those, then we just might have a bigger problem on our hands. Stay tuned.
What should you take away from this? Call things out and don't just let them slide. Whether's you're talking about a $6/hour clerk or a multinational corporation like Giant Ahold, peoples' minds don't change unless they are challenged. If just you allow things to happen to you without checking folks, you are (in a way) just as guilty as the person discriminating against you. And if you're white and observe such an injustice, you have a duty to point it out as well. Unlike the white guy in line behind my wife who wouldn't retell his account of this incident to customer service when my wife asked him to. Punk ass *****.
Either way it doesn't matter, because Giant Food won't be getting my money anymore.
Average Email
Average FAQ
Average Bio
AB @ AOL BlackVoices
AB @ NPR
AB @ WashingtonPost
Posts
27 AverageComments™:
Why don't you contact Andrea Astrachan directly. She is the Head Honcho of the Consumer Center. Her picture is always on back of the weekly giant circular that comes in the newspaper or the mail.
Well AB,
Not to negate your point, which is clearly taken with a grain of salt, butI feel I must speak up on behalf of the many underprivileged and unfortunate women who must rely on government assistance to maintain. Now I know the stereotypical face of a welfare recipient: BLACK, two-to-six colored weave, maybe a gold cap or two (or three!), poorly kempt, and looks like she just let herself go after having 4 babies in 2 1/2 years, but I am not ashamed to say that I, much like AverageSis, am also a college-educated, highly-intelligent, woman of high moral and spiritual stature who also just happens to be a temporary (key word) recipient of TANF, WIC, and food stamps to help me with my daughter whom I am raising alone.
I had to swallow a lot of pride and endure many a nose-turned-up glance to even accept that I needed it at the time, let alone sit through extensive and arduous interviews, appointments, and string-along sessions, but a mother's got to do what she has to do. And the craziest thing here is that even when I was using the vouchers, I was NEVER asked, hey charge it to demogrpahics.
Truth be told, the true face of welfare is very white, that more than likely has to do with the fact that they make up over 60% of the entire population, but, sadly, black women have been stigmatized as being the lazy, greedy, manipulative, abusers of a twisted system that really just throws them chump change anyway. I have paid my dues and my taxes all these years, and considered the subsidies a "kickback" on all my hard work, merely to help me and my daughter get back on our feet after not being able to work for some time.
The obviously misguided, underpaid and overworked cashier made the mistake of assuming the wrong black woman was using WIC, and more than likely thought nothing of her monotonous question. Experienced cashiers have come to recognize what certain items are being bought with the vouchers, and with what AverageSis was purchasing, it could be easily, but stupidly, presumed that it was a WIC purchase, which allows for jarred baby foods and juices.It goes without saying that AvSis deserved to be treated in the same fair and equitable manner as any other paying customer in the store, regardless of race, purchases, etc. Not to make any excuses for the blatant ignorance and indifference of the store presonnel, but maybe, just maybe, the entire situation was blown out of proportion.
If you could for just a moment, replace the presumptuous face of "welfare" with that of a loving, caring, underprivileged, stuck-with-a-set-of-bad-circumstances, mother who just needs a little help for the time being, maybe you can take the situation in to a different perspective.
Sometimes I believe black people go WAY out of their way to prove to the "others" that we are just as smart, classy, and paid as they think that we are not, and it all seems like a waste of time to me. It doesn't matter what you drive, how you are dressed, what letters or credentials come along with your name, and how well-off you may be,some people will think what they will, regardless of what we may want them to perceive us as. You just have to keep doin what you are doing to prove them wrong and get yours in the end, which is exactly what I am doing; I no longer am on assistance for I am gainfully employed and doing well, but doing so has changed my views on the welfare system as a whole.
I may have ranted, raved, and went off on a few tangents here and there, but the moral to the story is don't be so uptight to gain the approval or respect of someone who is not even worthy of such time and energy. Do your thang and keep it rollin, laughing all the way at the sheer stupidity that some people possess.
Guess who, AB?
Sorry AB I think you and your wife are making a big deal out of nothing. I was a manager at Walmart and it was the store policy to ask EVERY customer purchasing cereal, milk or babyfood if they will be using W.I.C. for their purchase. Based on the way the software program is set up the cashier would be required to void out the purchase if she does not get that information at the very start of the process. Secondly could you please advise me what a person on W.I.C. looks like? Are these women unintelligent, are they ugly, are they hopeless bums? It is great that your wife drives a Mercedes Benz, it is wonderful that she is blessed enough to have a half-million dollar home. It is also magnificent that she has the opportunity to stay home and be a full time mother to her children. However, that does not mean that she is better or more superior than a woman that receives W.I.C.
My best friend is a director of a W.I.C. office and many of these women are beautiful, intelligent and college educated but suffered a financial down fall. Please do not be so pompous because things beyond our control can and does happen regardless of your educational background or how good you look.
I sincerly hope your wife was not targeted by this line of questioning because she was black. Hopefully they just updated their software program to the one similar to Walmart's and the question is now standard.
Another issue I have is that in yesterdays post you basically called everyone that donated money or cared about the Jena 6 or Micheal Bell incidents were fools. You said that they did not investigate the situations thoroughly. I personally feel that racial injustice happened in both cases, but what happened with the donations is beyond our control. Anyway, you are a perfect example of being a arm chair critic. It's easy to judge situations when all you personally know about them is what the main stream media tells you. But when something touches your family, your wife, your baby, you are ready to battle it out.
I still love your blog AB I just had to get that off my chest.
Anonymous #3,
I get your point, and I'm not by any means saying my wife is any "better" than a welfare recipient. Heck, I don't even know what a welfare recipient is supposed to look like, but why the hell would someone just make the blanket assumption that my wife is one?
Is this really any different than me walking into a store and being followed around because they "assume" I'm going to steal something because the typical profile of a booster is a young black man? How about everytime I'm asked to show ID when I use a debit card for a purchase when the guy in front of me wasn't?
I get your point about the software. I don't really have a problem with that, if that's the store policy. But when you don't universally enforce this policy (this hasn't happened during any of my wife's previous visits for similar items), people are left to make their own assumptions about why you do, when you do.
Seriously, if you were asked if you were using WIC today when you go to the grocery store, wouldn't you be just a little bit pissed? All we're trying to ensure is that other black women don't have to endure the same thing. And I don't think there's anything armchair about that.
This is no ploy for sympathy, just food for thought. If you don't stand for something, then you'll continue to fall for anything. I'm merely asking readers to consider this the next time something similar happens to them.
response from Anonymous #3,
I love you AB, I really could debate with you all day. I wish other brothers would learn to have an intelligent conversation about issues that really matter.Maybe I will start directing my dates to your blog and we can have more meaningful conversations.
AB
The Black upper middle class is no better than the Black lower middle class. I understand that some may use WIC as a temporary handout. But what AB is saying is that no matter how far you go in life, some corporate establishments may always assume that all black women who shop between 9 to 5 are welfare recipients because a majority don't have the luxury to sit home.
The anger should not be placed on the clerk or store employees but to corporate policy heads. This is a valid argument. All people who go up to the register should not be asked if they are wic or not. I don't know what the card looks like but if I was on welfare, I would feel embarrased if a cashier asked the Wic question aloud. So I think this is worth exploring. However on the flipside AB's wife needs to chill a little and address the right people.
Hey AB,
I wouldn't have been pissed, but I would have been offended. Though it may be store policy to ask, it is a policy that is rarely enforced in many grocery stores because most people aren't on it. In fact, women on WIC usually know to tell the cashier they are using WIC because it takes them longer in line too.
Also, I used food stamps for a few months, a few years ago and have sat in a couple of food stamp offices. MOST of the people, in fact I would be willing to say somewhere in the 90th percentile, of women who show up in the WIC office aren't intelligent, college educated women. I'm a college graduate and just because I don't fit the norm, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Just thought I'd jump in too.
Individuals, families, communities, businesses and governments all stereotype, generalize and categorize other individuals, families, communities, businesses and governments. Doesn't make it right or correct. Assumptions and opinions are made on prior experiences and information (right or wrong) and societal cues. And also for emotional reasons - everything from love to hate, fear to trust, respect to distain, generosity to selfishness, power to apathy. And just plain laziness.
Don't get me wrong. I do understand what you're mad about. Well at least I think I do - you are sick and tired of being on the sh--y end of the stick when it comes to this kind of thing. To be clear I am in no way saying that getting help from an assistance program is a "bad thing". But to my point, the feelings of exhaustion and frustration caused by these particular kinds of situations are real and valid. And sometimes it’s these kinds of things that keep piling up that really wear you down.
Now back to the topic of making assumptions: Here is a URL link for USDA info about who is participating in the WIC program.
http://www.ers.usda.gov/Briefing/FoodNutritionAssistance/gallery/wicrace.htm
Percentages and total population sizes are important for analysis. But so is the consideration of how these figures would change if you were able to break this out by specific geographic locale. In other words what would this chart look like if it were just focused on percentages of WIC participants in rural Maine or south Florida or just one section of your hometown or just one section of the county you work in?
All this being said, I know that I walk within a body that “defines me” – in other words, before I speak, my body is seen. These simple qualities, like shade or color, are part of my genetic and social history. But they are also simply just little nano bits of DNA. The thing is – I/we don’t live on an island or in a vacuum. I live, we live, here and now in this country in this world with its history. Don’t give up. We (all of us) are going to change to things. Just reading your blog makes a real difference. Thanks.
Ref: my above post
Correction: Here's the full URL for the website I mentioned above. You'll probably have to cut and paste it.
WIC Participants
http://www.ers.usda.gov/Briefing/FoodNutritionAssistance/gallery/wicrace.htm
This is an interesting discussion all-around. My reaction upon the first reading of the original entry was that it was just another example of what I've long believed about written policies--that policies are not necessarily the way that things are or should be done, but rather something put in to writing primarily to protect the policy writer, or for the policy writer to whack somebody over the head with when it suits his needs.
Average Sis' previous experiences of never having been asked that question before may be more an indication of the policy being administered infrequently or arbitrarily, as opposed to selectively.
I have bought plenty of baby food and have never been asked this question, although it's probably more indicative of gender than anything else. (Are bro's even eligible for WIC?)
Trying to mentally put myself into AS's shoes didn't help to clarify my mindset.
Instead, I began wondering if the customer in front of AS were paying through WIC, would AS prefer that the question be asked up front, or only after all the items were rung up and the transaction had to be voided and begun again? When if AS were in a rush? When if there were two WIC recipients in line ahead of her?
This one has too many factors for simplicity.
I worked at an Albertson's in high school and I never asked anyone if they were using WIC. It's rude to assume that someone buying baby food or milk is getting WIC. In Texas you can have a job and get WIC, but it's still wrong to assume.
In Texas food is not taxable, so whether the person was using WIC or not didn't matter, the entry would not have to be voided. This sounds like laziness on the cashier's part (voids require management approval) Also, people who do have WIC tend to tell the cashier first, since WIC (depepnding on the state) has various rules related to price and the brands that can be purchased.
I do wonder how if your wife is in there as often as she is, the cashier didn't recognize her.
AverageSis did the right thing. She was polite with her complaint and didn't show her behind like "some" people expect us to.
I'm leaning towards the "arbitrary" enforcement (vs. the "selective" approach) regarding the policy that requires cashiers to as about WIC purchases.
I also believe that a "WIC recipients are less-than" is a motivator - whether anybody wants to admit it or not. Would your wife have been offended if she was asked whether she'd be paying in cash or with her VIP Platinum Visa?
AverageBro, even you admit to not knowing what a WIC recipient looks like. Should the cashier be expected to know?
I too was on public assistance to get through college after becoming a single mother. I graduated with a job making more than the folks who had to manage my welfare account! That was over 11 years ago...
Sometimes whites are afraid to even relate to blacks because we tend to find racism in exchanges that were rooted in benign intentions.
Then again, like always, the truth usually lies somewhere smack-dab in the middle of the most extreme views.
Don't forget to give us a follow-up regarding the complaint. Love the blog...
Why can't the customer service reps just ask everyone what their method of payment will be? That would avoid the problem that AvSis faced and would keep cashiers from having to "profile" possible WIC mothers.
Whether AvSis "should" have been insulted at first is debatable. But the abyssmal customer service in addressing the CUSTOMER's concerns is inexcusable.
1) Why are the stores settling for this crappy software system? They must collectively have the clout to insist on a system that does not force them to waste time and risk offending customers, black, white, whatever.
2) I know it was a minor point, but I am paying my way through school by waiting tables and I always try to seat the worst table in my section first. If the guests go for it, great; if not, I seat them at my second worst table and try again to seat the worst one. This has nothing to do with race, but it's just the practical way for me to try to fill my section.
Your post would have been SO much more endearing without this...thanks for the credentials, we get it. "My wife is a statuesque former college homecoming queen and beauty pageant winner. She also (pre-AverageBaby) was a bank vice president. She is educated and intelligent. She is home by choice, not by circumstance, because her husband (who is also intelligent and educated) can afford the luxury. She took the baby food outside and placed it in her Mercedes Benz. She drove the Mercedes Benz back to a half-million dollar home." Maybe her checkout person paid a little more attention to protocol than the others she's encountered.
I agree with leslie. I found the best way to find out how a customer is to simply ask what they're form of payment will be. The customer has no idea why you are asking and the cashier doesn't offend or embarass his/herself.
Like Wanda and Leslie, I've been trying to think of better alternatives to the same end, for the Average Family to suggest to Giant if they continue the dialog, which I hope they do.
While asking "What will be your form of payment?" may be a little too open-ended and invite responses such as "Well, I have this whole pocket full of wampum...." a little more directed question might work.
One possibility would be a simple "Cash, credit or coupons?," and the W.I.C. vouchers could be inferred by the latter.
More often than not when I present my payment card to the cashier, I'm asked "Credit or Debit?" to which I never take offense because neither is considered perjoritive.
Another suggestion might be to amend the signs that many places currently display at checkout asking that coupons and gift cards be presented before the items are rung up, to specifically include W.I.C. vouchers, Food Stamps, etc.
Finally, to echo Hawa, please don't leave your public in suspense, and keep us posted as to how this plays out.
I remember working at Food Lion (local grocery store) and those folks would come in with WIC. They would let you know first-hand that the block of cheese and Juicy Juice 2% Milk was being paid for by the gubment.
There was no need to ask if something was on WIC.
I would have been insulted to.
Quoting Anonymous:
"Secondly could you please advise me what a person on W.I.C. looks like? Are these women unintelligent, are they ugly, are they hopeless bums? It is great that your wife drives a Mercedes Benz, it is wonderful that she is blessed enough to have a half-million dollar home. It is also magnificent that she has the opportunity to stay home and be a full time mother to her children. However, that does not mean that she is better or more superior than a woman that receives W.I.C."
Amen and well said.
And for that matter, there's really nothing "average" about your description of AverageSis. If you want store's to administer their screening policies universally, you may want to check your own evaluation of what it means to be a recipient of W.I.C.
Wow,
I am totally AMAZED at the negativity being aimed at the blogger and his wife. I think many of you are more focused on the description of his wife than the actual offense here. I think he only presented the description to say that they have accomplished all of these things in life, but the cashier/store can still only look at them and see people looking for a handout.
Why all the hate? Are you ladies JEALOUS that he can afford for his wife to stay at home and ya'll broke asses don't even HAVE a man? Who cares if you were on foodstamps before and went to college? So what! That isn't the point of the story.
If this happened to my wife I would probably be even MORE pissed than this blogger (averagebrother?) is. I commend him for not going to the store and putting a foot in somebody ass.
OH NOES!!111 Someone made the assumption that your wife is *gasp* ON WELFARE! What an INSULT! Cosby would be outraged!
Get over yourselves, both of you, and thank the deity of your choice that your wife didn't have to answer "yes" and REALLY suffer some humiliation. Why, I don't think her pampered little ass could've handled it.
well this story points out what I assumed. bougie black. How dare someone think you wife was on welfare damn take it all the way to the corporate top! How dare they? Really? I was a cashier and yes I might ask beforehand if someone was using a voucher especially around a certain time of the month so I wouldn't have to void the purchase. ppl like you make other feel ashamed for needing governemnt assistance. Damn I pay taxes if when I was homeless I needed help. but I better keep my mouth closed because Blacks like you will not help but put me down. I could see if you wife was accused of stealing like the pregnant lady that was made to lie face down on the concrete, reall upset over an assumption. ppl make assumptions everyday.
sorry can't spell assume I have no education
It is institutionalized humiliation. The software in the machines doesn't HAVE to be configured to VOID a charge. The truth is that those systems can be configured to be prompted for payment at any time. Software/firmware mods can be made at the home ofice and updated at night locally.
Some might call it a conspiracy theory but its not if its true.
I have several comments on this situation:
1 - If your wife is there almost every day and didn't recognize the checker, it's possibly because the person was new. It's common knowledge that new employees follow policy to the letter and veterans (who would have recognized your wife and already known the answer to that question) don't.
2 - WIC only pays for certain things, so the question may have been prompted by the sight of a person stocking up on WIC-type items rather than the actual person buying. How do you know the checker didn't think she was a social worker buying food on behalf of a client's child? And for your information, do you know who else qualifies for WIC? FOSTER PARENTS. If you and your wife were to share some of your wealth with less privileged American children, you would qualify for help from the government because the kids are wards of the state.
3 - Why in the heck are you letting your 14 month old only eat one type of food for weeks on end? Do you really think that's nutritionally sound? People eat a variety of foods for a reason, and letting your pseudo-rich kid get malnutritioned because your stay-at-home wife can't figure out how to say "no" to a toddler isn't very smart. You may think it's a disgrace to be seen as a WIC family, but at least they get parenting and nutrition classes so they know how to care for their kids.
@ Anonymous,
I don't usually bother responding to such asinine comments, but you caught me on the wrong morning, homegirl.
1. The worker was NOT new to the store. The store manager confirmed this, and admitted that the policy wasn't uniformly enforced. End of story. In your rush to judge, you obviously overlooked this fine point in the update.
2. See #1. And for the record, unless you have foster kids, don't try to pull that B.S. on me. Do you even have kids period?
3. Obviously not. Because you'd know that kids go through phases where they will only eat what they want. The food we get from the Giant (which he now no longer even eats) was my son's main staple, but since he isn't being raised by wolves, we also make sure he eats plenty of veggies and fruits with every meal as well. They are far easier to find and more readily stocked than the Chicken and Rice.
So no, we aren't malnourishing our child, and yes we've taken parenting and nutrition classes at our church, and yes, you're a f****n' moron for assuming otherwise.
Man, Sheba, you just KILL ME!!!
Maybe I should do away with Anonymous commenters. This kinda sh*t is probably why every other blog moderates.
Hi!!! www.averagebro.com is one of the most excellent informational websites of its kind. I enjoy reading it every day. Keep it that way.
Post a Comment