Friday, October 19, 2007

AverageBro NewsBriefs: "What a Dumba$$!" Edition

I've got a boatload of work to do before I return to the Twin Cities next week, so here's a few assorted newsbits to pass along. Note the common theme in all of these stories.

Ballin' Out Of Control

It hasn't been a good week for NBA players. New Jersey Nets PG Jason Kidd, who is in the midst of a nasty divorce, gives his psycho ex-wife even more ammunition by allegedly crotch groping a woman in a Manhattan bar. Not to be outdone, Sacramento Kings Center Justin Williams and his girlfriend are accused of having a menage a trois the "old fashioned way", by unknowingly drugging a house guest.

Of course, the biggest loser? winner unfortunately has to play for the team I financially support 12-15 times of season. After a wild summer of shootouts and really odd public behavior, Washington Wizards SG DeShawn Stevenson (that's him above flashing the AmEx Black card) is being accused of either:

1. Propositioning actress Lindsay Lohan via MySpace for $10k. (or)
2. Looking to buy cocaine via MySpace for $10k.

Read this cryptic message and tell me which one you think it is?

I Got A Couple Ppl On The Lindsay LoHan Deal!!! But Im Giving Somebody 10 Stacks If They Hook That Sh*t Up!!! 4 U Slow Ppl 10 Thousand Dollars 2 The First Muthaf*cker Get Me The Contact 4 Her!!!!!!! Before My Ppl Get The Number They Moving 2 Slow 4 Me So Holla At Yo Boy If U Need That 10,000 Grand!!!!!!!!! U Kno I Need That White Girl Lindsay Lohan!!!! First N*gga Or Female Get Me That Sh*t I Wire That Money Str8 2 Ur Account Hit Me On Email If U Got The Real Sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!! Yadddddaaaaa Boy
This dude needs Jesus, Hooked on Phonics, and some penicillin. I'd just settle for a reliable mid-range jumper, but hey.

Would October 31st, please hurry up and get here?

Rap is Outta Control (Again)

As if the BET Hip Hop Awards weren't enough of a black eye on the rap game, rappers themselves continued the pile-on with a bunch of typically ignorant actions.

Nas, whose album titles ("Hip Hop Is Dead", "God's Son", "Illmatic") seem to be more interesting than his actual albums nowadays, will shoot for the free-pub moon again this December. The proposed title of the album? You guessed it... "Nigga". Good luck getting that one stocked at Walmart, buddy.

Foxy Brown, who lied about being pregnant to avoid jail time, actually got sent to the clink for assaulting her neighbor with a cellphone in a dispute over music being player too loudly. Before finally going to court for arraignment this week, Brown had skipped the jail bus twice, because, get this, "her hair and makeup were not completed, another time because she was eating lunch". Good to know her priorities are in order.

Serial Impregnator, Diddy didn't have yet another illegit kid pinned on him this week, which is good considering his predicament. After a fistfight with a onetime business associate last weekend, Diddy is facing the real possibility of jail time. The reason for the fight? What else, a woman.

Speaking of jail time, rapper T.I. is still in jail, after being arrested for possession of three unregistered machine guns and two silencers, and for possession of firearms by a convicted felon. T.I. claims the military grade weapons were needed to protect his family. Of course doesn't make any sense, because T.I. lives in College Park, not Kosovo.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Speaking of military, while you were gently sleeping the night of August 29th, did you know a B-52 bomber inadvertently full of nuclear bombs was flying across the US?
The Air Force will recommend the firing and disciplining of several service members involved in the mistaken flight of nuclear warheads across the country in August, according to a military official familiar with the investigation.

The just-concluded investigation into the August 29 incident is expected to recommend the firing of at least five Air Force service personnel and disciplinary action against others for failure to follow safety and security procedures, according to the source.

Criminal charges also are being considered, the source said.

The B-52 bomber carried six nuclear warheads on air-launched cruise missiles headed to Barksdale Air Force Base for decommissioning, but the warheads should have been removed from the missiles before they were attached to the B-52, military officials said.
I have nothing to add to this other than, "Jesus Be a Fence."

Hot Links:
Source: Firings likely in transport of nuclear warheads across U.S. [CNN]
Woman Accuses Kidd of Groping Her [AOL]
Source: Woman Claims Kings' Williams Drugged, Raped Her [ABC10]
Record Label Denies Rap Star Nas' Claim of Forthcoming Album Called 'Nigga' [FoxNews]
Diddy Sought For Questioning In New York Nightclub Incident: Report [MTV]
Rapper T.I. remains in custody [AJC]

blog comments powered by Disqus

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.