Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Let's Retire a Few More Words While We're At It.

Okay, so Hu$tle Simmons wants rappers to stop using the "N", "B", and "H" words. Well, at least in their radio edits. To me, this has to be about the dumbest thing I've heard since that "Lip Gloss" song. Radio edits for years have bleeped out the aforementioned words. It doesn't make the meaning of what's being said any better. "itch-bay" is still pretty identifiable as "bitch", just reversed. Kids are savvy enough to know that Akon's "I Wanna Love You" is definitely not talking about love on the album version. C'mon, Russell, you'll have to try a little harder than that, provided you can take a break from backpedalling and buttkissing Bill O'Reilly long enough to consider other options.

I will, however say that the whole concept of eliminating the use of certain words is enticing, provided we can expand the scope beyond radio edits, and just deal with misused and outdated slang in general. So, without further ado...

Slang That AverageBro Would Like to See Retired (and Why):

"Bling Bling" - This was maybe (maybe) fashionable for about 2 weeks in the late 90's when the Cash Money song was out. When I started seeing it dropped in Washington Post columns, and butchered by Pat O'Brien, I knew it was time for that word to go. That was 5 years ago. It's still around. Let's please retire this one.

"Tight" - I first heard this word used in like, 1994 or something by a fellow intern (whaddup D.R.?) from up North. Since we get things later in the South, I knew this word was already in rotation a good year or two prior. It's now 2007. Nobody should still be referring to anything as "tight". Ditto for the word "hot", which interestingly, seems to be a rare word that reverse migrated.

"Joint/Jawn" - Ahhh, a favorite catch-all noun for any "thing", inanimate, or otherwise. This one's been used in Philly since, well, forever, and folks in DC routinely toss it around. Either way, it's outdated, so please start referring to shoes as "shoes" and cars as "cars" again.

"Grown Man On/Grown & Sexy" - This one really ticks me off, because I usually hear it spouted by a dude 25, 30, and up. Technically, once you cross the 18 year barrier, you are indeed "grown up". Wearing a button down shirt doesn't give you reason enough to announce something so silly though. If you have to inform others that you're a grown man, then chances are, you're probably not. The Baby Boy Syndrome is real, ya'll.

"Real Talk" - If you have to preface anything you're saying with "real talk", then you probably make a habit of lying/exaggerating the rest of the time. Dead it.

"Player/Playa" - Unless you're getting paid to dribble a ball...

"Hate/Hata/Hater" - Just because a person constructively disagrees with you doesn't make them a hater. In the words of some rapper that I can't remember "just because you hate you don't mean you're a player". I don't exactly know what that means, but hey, is seemed appropriate. Don't hate the player, hate the game, and retire that whole phrase too while you're at it.

Got some more? Drop em' in the comments...

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