AverageBro.com

Newt Wants To Take You To The Moon, Baby!!!

2012-01-27T09:30:00.005-05:00

Lemme go on record: I officially want Newt to win the GOP nomination, because it's going to raise the possibility of an Obama reelection from roughly 65% (if he faces Mitt) to 99.999% (it Newt wins).

Why, because Gingrich's latest grandiose brainfart is literally pie in the sky.

Newt Gingrich wants to colonize the moon.

He loves to talk space exploration and a campaign stop on Florida’s space coast provided the perfect opportunity.

It’s just the kind of Gingrich big-think for which he has been ridiculed by others in the GOP field, including Mitt Romney. But Wednesday’s speech — which Gingrich himself called “grandiose” — could actually resonate politically in Florida, where space exploration is good politics 14 miles away from Cape Canaveral. The space coast, home to many NASA employees, has been struggling lately as the space agency launched its last shuttle in July, and President Barack Obama canceled the lunar landing program in 2010.

In his remarks, Gingrich dismissed the notion that his ideas are over the top, pointing to previous presidents and inventors who fueled changes in technology.

By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American,” Gingrich said, drawing applause from the crowd. “I will, as president, encourage the introduction of the northwest ordinance for space to put a marker down that we want Americans to think boldly about the future and we want Americans to go out and study hard and work hard and together, we’re going to unleash the American people to build the country we love.”

Space age, pimpin', folks. Newt knows all about that.

So, a guy who's against giving the 600,000 residents of The District Of Columbia statehood would gladly grant such a right to the citizens of Newtlandia. Yeah, that sh*t makes sense to me too. I can already see the general election anti-Newt campaign ad.

Come on, GOP, seriously? Do I need to write a term paper to convince you how bad an idea this is? Click here for essays if you really need a better understanding of why this guy's a terrible idea.

Make history in 2012: Re-elect the black guy.

Question: Should such an out of this world comment disqualify Gingrich from running? Is this MF out of his mind?

"I Might Have Tacos..."

2012-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know this isn't supposed to be funny. This is a story about police brutality, profiling, and other serious, real life sh*t.[1]

But come on, this is effin' hilarious. This dude just can't shut up and quit while he's (somewhat) ahead. He just keeps talking and talking, and digging and digging.

Way to marginalize a serious issue, Mayor Maturo.[2]

100 Cyber CapriSuns™ says this guy becomes a hero on the Conservative talk/cable news circuit by Monday morning.

And with that, I'm off to Taco Bell myself. Yo quiero.

Question: Does this comment really deserve the scrutiny it is receiving.

[1] Sonnnnn!

[2] And me.

Caption This Photo.

2012-01-26T10:33:00.003-05:00

Barack Obama in testy tarmac exchange with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer [UK Telegraph]

AB.com Open Mic Thursday.

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Busy today. Entertain yourselves.

Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Mitt Romney Pays (Much!) Less In Taxes Than You Do. Don't Hate The Player!!!

2012-01-25T00:13:00.001-05:00

We all knew Mittens was gettin' paper, but even I didn't know he was bringin' in this kinda cake.

Mitt Romney’s campaign released details of his federal tax returns on Tuesday morning, showing that he is likely to pay a total of $6.2 million in taxes on $45 million in income over the two tax years of 2010 and 2011.

The details of the returns, confirmed by a senior campaign official, provide the most detailed view yet of his wealthy family’s finances. The disclosure comes after a barrage of pressure to release his returns — which Mr. Romney has never done, even when he was elected governor of Massachusetts.

The disclosure — reported early Tuesday by The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News — showed a vast array of investments, from a recently closed Swiss bank account to holdings in Bermuda and the Cayman Islands, all underscoring the breadth and depth of his wealth, which has become a central issue in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination.

Mr. Romney said last week that his effective tax rate was “about 15 percent,” a figure lower than that of many affluent Americans. But his returns suggested that he paid an effective tax rate of nearly 14 percent.

In addition to his 2010 taxes, Mr. Romney is set to release estimates for his 2011 taxes, which he will file in April. The campaign will report that he will pay $3.2 million in taxes for 2011, for an effective tax rate of 15.4 percent. That is a slightly higher effective rate than he paid the year before, when he paid about $3 million to the Internal Revenue Service.

Mr. Romney also said that there were “no surprises” in his tax returns. Referring to the fact that nearly all of his income is taxed as capital gains at a 15 percent rate, rather than as earned income at rates of up to 35 percent, Mr. Romney questioned a proposal by Newt Gingrich, the former House speaker, to reduce capital gains taxes to zero.

Let's be clear here: there's nothing wrong, or even remotely immoral about the percentage of taxes Romney is paying. It's the law. Money gained from investments (as well as money gained from investing someone else's money!) is taxed at a much lower clip than earned income. Always has been, always will be. It is what it is, and you can't hate the player here. Nor the game for that matter.

What does piss me off is Mitt's perpetual assertion that people are somehow envious of his success. This line of reasoning comes up in every debate, as well as Mitt's assertion that he is a self-made millionaire who didn't inherit anything. The inference seems to be that practically anyone can pull this off, if they just happen to be smart and resourceful enough. This is obvious bullsh*t.

Romney's Dad was the one-time Governor of Michigan, and CEO of American Motors Corporation. It's fair to say that Mitt's upbringing wasn't that of a typical American, and it's equally fair to say that his father's wealth and influence opened doors that many other Americans aren't privy to.

So, coming from a rich family and becoming rich isn't really all that impressive to me. Sorry. Bragging on your success when you Dad's a millionaire is like starting on third base and bragging about scoring a run. Most of us start at home plate. Hell, some of us start in the dugout.

We don't hate you because of your success, Mitt. We dislike you because you're a jerk.

Question: Is is fair to tax earned income at a far higher rate than investment income? Should Mitt stop running with that "don't hate my success" line, or is it a tailor-made Obama campaign ad just waiting to get made?!?

GOPer Calls Obama A Muslim. Santorum Fails To Correct Her.

2012-01-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

You hate giving people credit for sh*t they're supposed to do[1] but many will recall John McCain's admonition of a woman who referred to President Obama as a Muslim back in 08'. During a campaign in which McCain's running mate was delivering daily stump speeches about Obama "paling around with terrorists", this stuck out as a particularly classy moment, even though it really shouldn't have been.

So when I watched GOP back-runner Rick Santorum come face to face with his very one "Crash" moment yesterday, I expected the same. Cause, you know, Santorum actually worked alongside Obama in the Senate, and he's supposedly Mr. Family Values and whatnot.

Wrong.

Asked about this incident later, Santorum basically said it wasn't his job to correct birthers (although he's notably done so before) and that the President could do that himself because he's "a big boy". Really.

Come one, Rick, would it really have hurt you to do the right thing here? What Would Jesus Do?

And by "Jesus", I mean Ronald Reagan.

On second thought, since correcting this woman prolly woulda done more harm than good, "Jesus" prolly wouldn't have done sh*t either.

Nice job, Santorum. Classy!

Question: Does it disturb you that GOP candidates continue to play this game of cat & mouse with racial politricks?

[1] "Supposed to do" meaning, that's what decent people do.

Could Newt Gingrich Become America's First A$$hole President?!?

2012-01-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Watching his "acceptance" speech with my wife the other night, it finally occurred to me that a Newt Gingrich Presidency would be in many ways even more historic than Barack Obama's.

Yeah, we've had a black President. So what, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Gingrich's ascent to 1600 Penn Ave would be far more historic.

Because Newt could officially become, The First A$$hole President.

Think about it, there's a tailor made campaign theme song already made for him, courtesy of an Obama supporter, sure, but it's still very appropriate.

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know,
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs...

America should heed Yeezy's advice and run away fast as we can, but that's clearly not what's happening in the GOP primaries thus far. Newt is running on a platform of populism, media/elite/establishment hatred, and greasy talk. And it's working, precisely because he does all of these things so much better than his opponents. And quite honestly, he also does them better than the current President.
Still, it's hard for me to believe that GOP primary voters are actually getting behind this guy. Policy-wise, he's anything but a "hardcore Conservative". His Family Values would make Carl Winslow blush. He flip flops even worse than Mitt.

And of yeah, did I mention he's an a$$hole?!?

Make history, America. Re-elect the black guy.

Question: How do you explain Newt's appeal and success? Can he maintain this momentum going into Florida? Does it alarm you that a guy with his temperament is actually doing well in the polls?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

2012-01-23T00:10:00.002-05:00

Busy today. Be back soon, but till then, entertain yourselves. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

A few topics of interest...

Newt Wins South Carolina - Dang, I thought this thing woulda been over by now. WTF, Mittens?!?

Super Sunday Is Set - Who ya'll got?

Rest In Peace - Etta James & Joe Paterno.

Question: What's on your mind today?

AB.com Hot Topics - 1.20.12

2012-01-20T10:15:00.005-05:00

Here's the daily rundown.

Obama Sangs!!! - No need to lie, my wife made me hit the rewind button on the DVR about 50 times when we saw this on the news last night.

Let's be real. Yes, this was planned. Yes, this was pandering. Yes, this was a silly ploy to reel black folks back in. And yes, it worked. Sorry, but much like the infamous "brush your shoulders off" and "hoodwinked and bamboozled" moments on the stump in 08', Obama always knows when to inject a little bit of cool to hypnotize black voters. You have to give him credit, because it's not like Newt or Mittens can match this level of ~~swaggg~~ exuberance. Voters, fairly or unfairly, respond to this sorta stuff. Kudos to Barry Green for pulling it off without sounding or looking like a total cornball. Top that one, Santorum!!!

Of course, you just know this clip is gonna be used against Obama at some point. I can already hear them juxtaposing the image of a singing Obama with ominous music and economic stats. It'll be like "Obama. 'So In Love With' himself that he sings while the country goes to sh*t!" You know that's gonna happen, right? I'll bet a case of Cyber CapriSuns™ on that.

Newt Tells John King He Can Swing If He Wants To, Damnit! - I can't really imagine Newt Gingrich winning the GOP nomination, and if he did, displays of arrogance like this certainly aren't going to go over well in a general election. I do agree with him that leading off a debate with this question might not have been a good idea, but it was fair game.

John King basically got bodied here, as Newt played the tried and true "blame the media" Jedi Mind Trick, and flipped a legitimate character question about whether or not he asked his 2nd wife if he could openly cheat on her into a winning victim narrative. Dude is prolly gonna win South Carolina now, which tells you everything you need to know about the Republican Party. Eff' Family Values! "The Media" and beating Obama are all that matters.

R.I.P. MegaUpLoad - Although the Feds have momentarily pulled back on that whole SOPA thing, yesterday was a watershed moment of sorts, as file hosting site MegaUpLoad was seized and shut down for good. I'd expect the dominoes to fall rather swiftly as other sites like RapidShare, FileServ, and ZShare are probably all gonna become casualties of this push to end internet piracy. While I totally agree with that from a business standpoint, as a much fan I'm dismayed. I mean, seriously, if HulkShare Records closes, where am I gonna get my musical fix?

Haywire Is In Theaters Today - No need to lie, I wanna figure out a way to ditch work and go see this. Gina Carano looks like she's got the acting chops of a bag of Funyuns, but she does all her own stunts and this seems to be one kick a$$ action flick. Putting a non-actress in a lead role is usually the telltale sign of a straight-to-DVD flick, but this is a fullblown revenge/spy caper with A-List contributors like Steven Soderbergh, Michael Douglas, and Ewan McGregor. Reviews so far have been favorable.

Provided nobody ever casts Cris Cyborg as a villian, I could see Carano making the transition to action flick chick with ease. Anyone else geeked to check this out?

Question: What do you think about these issues?

Stuff DC People Say.

2012-01-19T22:45:00.000-05:00

No need to lie, I'm just as sick of ya'll are of these "Sh*t People Say" viral videos, but this one sounds like the convos I hear everyday here in The Urreah. It's slickly shot, and if you remove a lot of the hipster references, sounds a lot like "Sh*t AB Says".

* h/t to VLatte

Should Jay-Z Stop Using The Word B*tch?!?

2012-01-19T00:00:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, a (supposedly) erroneous news story circulated around the web and Black Folks' Twitter. Jay-Z supposedly penned a poem about how having a daughter changed his opinion on his almost Tourette's-like use of the word "b*tch", and he'd decided to stop using it in the future. It was supposed to be Jay-Z's equivalent of Richard Pryor's N-Word epiphany, and would be a watershed moment in hip-hop history (their words, not mind) that might forever change the genre's long-insulting misogynistic undertones.

Jay-Z will purge the word “bitch” from his future lyrics, if a poem dedicated to his week-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter (and scooped by the British music site NME) is to be believed.

"Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich/I didn’t think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it," the rapper allegedly wrote.

The verse continues, “I never realized while on the fast track that I'd give riddance to the word bitch/To leave her innocence intact/No man will degrade her, or call her name/Forever young you may pass/Blue Ivy Carter, my angel."

Being the cynical father of a daughter-on-the-way[1] I am, I couldn't help but poke holes in the the Jigga Man's revelation. As a guy with a mom, probably a sister (I could be wrong on that one), and who'd been involved/secretly married to Beyonce for damn near a decade, you'd like he'd have understood referring to grown a$$ed women as female dogs all these years wasn't all that kosher. I mean, seriously, my dude, that's some faulty logic, it's damn near jailhouse k-nowledge level faulty logic. He was essentially saying that it's fine to make millions referring to other men's daughters as b*tches for decades, yet not-so-much when it comes to his own child.

I went on one of my infamous Twitter tirades about this, and while some folks predictably called me a hater, an overwhelming majority agreed. Besides, it's not like subbing something other than b*tch makes the overall sentiment any better.
Does "I got 99 problems, but a young lady ain't one!" really change the overall message? Ionno.

Of course, the supposed poem (allegedly) turned out to be a hoax, which depending on how you look at it, either makes Shawn Carter look better or worse. Personally, since I'm not a fan, I say it's a push.

I will, however, concur that having a child makes a man re-evaluate the world around him as well as his contributions to that world. A man who approaches fatherhood without having a single introspective thought about his actions and the adjustments he'll need to make is probably going to make some seriously bad parenting decisions down the line. Kids change us in ways we're both aware of, and subliminal ways we only catch when someone else hips us to them. Jay made a terribly superficial song about what he'd tell his future son on that godawful album he made with Kanye West, so it's perfectly natural to expect him to give far more thought to the far more frightening prospect of having a rear a daughter. As a guy going through the exact same thing right about now, I both respect and appreciate this, in principle.

In reality, I just wish he hadn't (allegedly) made such a clumsy, self-serving public spectacle of this, an instead just changed the overall content of his music and let that proverbially speak for itself.[2] I suspect that's why so many people were up in arms about his epiphany, and why he subsequently pretended there was no such epiphany in the first place.[3] You know, image, pride, and whatnot. I get it.

I realize if this post has been much ado about nothing (a rapper and a word), but in an odd way, it actually does speak to a much bigger issue. Or two. Or three. Chime in with your thoughts below.

Question: What changes (blatant or otherwise) did you make to prepare for the arrival of your child? Were your concerns different based on the child's gender? Does omitting one word from a song change the overall message? Would Jay-Z's discontinued usage of the word b*tch influence his peers to do the same? What other words would you like to see omitted from Jay-Z's vocabulary?

[1] Yup, she'll be here in May.

[2] B*tch is a good start. How about you kill the shameless product placement ("Hublot!") and use of n*gga as an all-purpose noun while you're at it, tho?

[3] I'm sure someone will mention my hypocrisy, given the B-Bomb I lobbed at Sarah Palin here after her disgraceful self-defense in wake of the Gabby Giffords shooting. I was wrong. Period. End of story.

Eff' Yo' Pipeline!

2012-01-18T13:11:00.003-05:00

Score one for Obama.

The Obama administration is expected to reject TransCanada's controversial $7 billion Keystone XL pipeline later Wednesday, a source familiar with the decision told CBS News Monday, adding that a formal announcement is expected from the State Department. Multiple media outlets have reported that the decision is imminent, citing unnamed sources, but the White House and the State Department have not confirmed the announcement.

As part of deal last December extending the payroll tax cut for two months, Congress imposed a Feb. 21 decision on President Obama to issue or reject the permit. Language in the deal mandates that only the president can block the Keystone Pipeline project, and the impact of an expected State Department announcement is not clear. Shares in TransCanada Corp fell following initial reports about a decision.

According to one source, the administration plans to cite the environmental dangers posed by the pipeline's proposed route through Nebraska. While the administration plans to reject a permit for TransCanada to build the pipeline under the current proposal, the company could pitch an alternate route for the planned 1,700 mile underground oil pipeline linking the tar sands fields of northern Alberta to oil refineries on the Texas Gulf Coast.

Personally, I'm gonna hand Obama a couple of points for this one. Sure, he could have just as easily said "no" months ago before it became a political football the GOP (momentarily) used to hold up a payroll tax extension they were gonna agree to anyway. But hey, better late than never, right?

In the grander scheme of things, I'm just happy to see the President make a decisive move, even though his opponents will certainly use it against him. The actual number of jobs this line could potentially create has been so inflated and riddled with fuzzy math, it's almost comical. And yeah, lots of those permanent jobs are going to go to Canada. Don't be fooled, folks. I'm hardly a NIMBY, tree hugging conservationist myself, but if the energy output doesn't outweigh the possible environmental impact, then the point is moot.

Kudos to the President for stating the obvious here, even though he will likely face some scrutiny from the left because of the union jobs lost.

Question: Was this the right move by the Obama administration?

AB.com Open Mic Tuesday.

2012-01-17T00:58:00.001-05:00

I'm West Coastin' right now. Be back home soon, but till then, entertain yourselves.

Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

The Non-Homogenized MLK.

2012-01-16T00:42:00.000-05:00

It's MLK Day today, which prolly means most of you are off (I'm not), and prolly means you'll hear 3,128 mentions of MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech today. While few will argue that the crowning moment of the March On Washington was a seminal moment in American history, it often disturbs me that this brilliant, complex man is often boiled down to the non-threatening caricature of a single line ("content of character") of a single speech. There was so much more to MLK, and I'd challenge each of you to find something off the beaten (to death!) path today and share it in this space.

Or, you could just watch an NBA matinee today and say eff' it. Personally, I hope each of you contributes your own links, videos, and miscellany. Here's mine.

Question: Got anything to contribute?

The AB.com Royal Pains & White Collar Sweepstakes Winners Are...

2012-01-16T00:06:00.003-05:00

Wow, do my readers love free stuff or what? I mean, seriously, I got almost 200 entries for this contest, so I just decided to save myself the trouble and end it early. Sorry, clogged inbox and whatnot. Anyways, the winners are...

Royal Pains Gift Bag - MelLuv - Gardena, CA

White Collar Gift Bag - MRG1967 - Staunton, VA

The gift bags are in the mail, folks. Thanks for entering, and thanks to 360i and USA Networks for the hookup.

White Collar returns on Tuesday, January 17th at 10pm EST. The Royal Pains season premiere is Wednesday, January 18th also at 10pm Eastern on USA Network.

The Day The Tebowing (Finally) Stopped.

2012-01-14T00:53:00.000-05:00

I could be wrong, but I don't think a guy who barely completes 46% of his pass attempts is gonna win at Gillette Stadium. What say ye'?

Consider this your NFL playoffs open forum.

Question: Will all the Tebowing stop? Can B'More hold off the Texans? Will New Orleans' awesome offense squash the 49ers? Can Big Blue prevail on the frozen tundra?

When Rappers Do Local Commercials.

2012-01-13T16:26:00.007-05:00

Look, I'm not hatin' on Trina for this one. I mean, seriously, if you're a female emcee and your name isn't Nicki Minaj, you prolly aren't eating right now. It's also been about a decade and change since "N'aan", and getting wifed up by a professional baller isn't really a solid career path. Still, didn't Trina have some financial issues awhile ago? Do you really wanna take tax advice from The Baddest B*tch? Ionno.

T-Pain doesn't actually appear in this lame ad for a SoCal casino, but his song appears to be butchered by someone, since his fee was probably too high. Personally, I blame AutoTune for this foolishness.

Not to be outdone, real life pimp and sometime rapper Suga Free delivered this local gem. I don't know if this is real or not, but it seems like it is. Not that that's a good thing.

Question: Did that bama ask her for $5? Who thought these commercials were a good idea?

AB.com Open Mic Thursday

2012-01-12T00:37:00.000-05:00

Back on the road again. Be back soon, but till then, entertain yourselves.

Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Did You Miss Herman Cain? Don't Worry, He's Back.

2012-01-11T00:35:00.000-05:00

Funny, I was just musing with a friend the other day about how much I missed Herman Cain on the campaign trail. As a blogger, the remaining cast of characters lacks any "Fun" factor. It's not fun, or even interesting, to talk about Ron Paul's nuttiness, Romney's sterility, Santorum's idiocy, or Newt's arrogance. Cain, say what you will about him, was fun to read about and follow. Sadly, nagging things like mistresses and sexual harassment allegations caused the fun to end.

But wait, he's back.

Herman Cain’s not a candidate anymore, but he’s launching a new bus tour anyway.

The former Godfather’s Pizza CEO announced plans to tour the country to raise support for the “9-9-9” plan that was the star of his aborted presidential run, hoping to rally congressional sponsors for his plan to replace the federal Tax Code with a 9 percent corporate tax, 9 percent personal income tax and a 9 percent national sales tax.

The one-time Republican front-runner announced his “Cain’s Solutions Revolution” during a Fox News interview with Sean Hannity on Wednesday night.

The Atlanta businessman said he plans to “get commitments from members of Congress in 2012 before Election Day” and that the legislation is currently being drafted.

Cain’s made clear his hopes to stay a part of public life despite departing the presidential race, and as he does, he’ll be pursuing the same outsider, simplifying government themes he pursued while in the GOP race.

“They think we are stupid. You know what comes after a tea party? A revolution. It’s time for history to repeat itself,” Cain says in an introductory video posted on the new website. “We the people are coming and we want our power back. Welcome to the solutions revolution.”

Cain bowed out of the presidential race in early December, saying he did so because of his family. Even then, he vowed not to “shut up, drop out and go away.”

Since ending his presidential campaign, Cain has appeared repeatedly on Fox to provide analysis of the GOP presidential race.

Here's the downright cringe inducing web video.

Laugh all you want, but his aborted Presidential campaign was ultimately a success for Cain. There's really no other way to spin it. He obviously got in to raise his name recognition, and despite the circumstances under which he bowed out, he did accomplish his initial goal. This bus trip will keep him in the news during the upcoming South Carolina primary, and he's already making the rounds on cable news.

Ultimately, he's either going to get a cushy job on Fox News, or (brace yourself!) a cabinet level position, should by some magical circumstance, a Republican wins the Presidency. His extramarital dalliances aren't nearly as much of a concern if he's in charge of the Department of Commerce. Even if that doesn't happen, he's going to get a nice book deal, his speaking fees are going to go up bigtime, and assuming he goes back to doing talk radio, he'll likely have a national platform instead of a local one.

That, my friends, is a come up. I wouldn't even label it a Grand Hu$tle, because the hustle was pretty obvious all along, to everyone other than GOP voters, of course.

Get money, Daddy Green.

Question: What's up with that weird video? Did Herman Cain pimp the game, or did he really think he was headed to the White House?!?

Slavery Math Homework: Racist Or Merely Misguided?!?

2012-01-10T00:16:00.001-05:00

Okay, so by now, you've all surely heard about the controversy in Georgia where 3rd graders were given a math homework assignment with some not-so politically correct word problems. Black Folks Twitter is abuzz, and the NAACP is already on the case.

State NAACP president Ed DuBose is calling for the termination of all Gwinnett teachers and staff involved in producing a worksheet for third graders that contained math word problems on slavery.

He said he would be calling Gwinnett School Superintendent Alvin Wilbanks today to ask that he deal with the issue at Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross.

The group responsible for allowing it to go forward should be fired not just reprimanded, but fired," DuBose said. "I refuse to believe the teacher or teachers responsible for allowing it to go forward did not understand fully what they were doing. We need to understand how deep this is. Who all knew? What did they know?’’

Last Friday, in what has become a national story, several parents complained about a math assignment their children had gotten that contained questions about beatings and slavery.

One of the math problems read, "Each tree has 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

Another question was, "If Frederick got two beatings each day, how many beatings did he get in one week?"

School officials said that the math questions stemmed from an effort to incorporate history into their third-grade math lessons.

Sloan Roach, a school spokesperson, said last week that the questions were, "poorly written." School officials are investigating the matter.

DuBose said that competent teachers would not have allowed it to be distributed. He also said that sensitivity training is needed for teachers in the future, so “that they don’t follow suit.”

Well, let's state the obvious here: giving a math assignment to 3rd graders with slave imagery is dead assed wrong. Period. No point of contention here. They could have chosen a million and one other topics for such as assignment, but of course, they just had to play the slave card. I'd also be remiss to not insert the oh-so-obvious "they'd never do this for the Holocaust" and I'd be about 1,000% correct.

That said, does such an assignment automatically make the person who wrote it racist? I promise I'm going to do a piece on "can anyone actually be called racist anymore" very soon, but for today, lets work with some facts, which I derived entirely from a 5 minute scan of the school's official website, so they may not be all that factual.

1) The school in question, Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross, seems to be a majority black/Hispanic school.

2) The principle is Hispanic.

3) A cursory glance at the faculty seems to also indicate a very diverse collection of teachers and support staff.

Here's the local news report...

I certainly can't prove it, nor will be ever likely know the identity of the person who wrote this assignment, but it's entirely within the realm of possibility that this person was indeed black.[1] On the racism front, I find it really, really hard to believe that someone who hates black people with every fiber of their being would want to teach at a school teeming with black & brown kids.

If that's the case, is this actually "racism" or just a teacher who tried to be a little too slick and crossed the line? Again, I'm by no means excusing the person who did this, I'm simply playing Devil's advocate, and examining our tendency to label something as racist, based purely on the assumption of the potential offender's race. Hell, this could probably qualify as a Black, White, Or Other, but again, union rules will probably prevent us from ever knowing the teacher's identity.

I wonder what ya'll think.

Question: If this teacher is indeed black, does it change your opinion on whether or not this assignment (while totally boneheaded) was racist?

[1] I don't know enough about Norcross' demographics to make any other grand assumptions here. Someone from the "A" care to fill us in?

Enter The AB.com Royal Pains & White Collar Sweepstakes!!!

2012-01-09T12:45:00.006-05:00

Update: This contest is now closed.

USA Network is America's #1 rated cable network for a reason, as anyone who's seen Royal Pains or White Collar will attest. And if you love these hit shows as much as AverageSis and I do, you'll love our latest AB.com giveaway.

White Collar returns on Tuesday, January 17th at 10pm EST. The Royal Pains season premiere is Wednesday, January 18th also at 10pm Eastern on USA Network.

With new seasons premiering next week, the fine folks at USA Network and 360i are giving away two awesome prize packs to two special AB.com readers. The prize packs include:

White Collar Leisure Pack ($250 value)
- Custom Waxwear Shoe Bag
- Shoe Brush
- Jet Black Playing Cards
- Custom Reporter’s Notebook
- Black long sleeved Shirt
- Cashmere Scarf
- Season 1 DVD

Royal Pains Prize Pack ($115 value)
- Season 1 DVD
- Season 2 DVD
- Season 3 Vol. 1 DVD
- Royal Pains Bag

All you have to do to enter is shoot me an email telling me why you're either White Collar or Royal Pain's biggest fan. You can enter contests for both prize packs in the same email.

No entries in the comments section, please! Email only!

The two winners will be announced here next week.

Online Casino Legalisation Battles Are Taking A Toll On Canadian Gamblers.

2012-01-09T00:00:00.005-05:00

The increasing frequency of legalisation dialogues in the US Senate may be giving American players something to celebrate, but the onset of 2012 is, unfortunately, somewhat less thrilling for the millions of Canadian gamblers who are stuck playing in a stagnant market with very little governmental protection. Poker players have been effectively shut out from healthy competition in North America, and it’s become increasingly difficult to see the light at the end of the federal legalisation tunnel.

Despite the fact that a number of provinces have already adopted more progressive online gambling regulations, the practice remains federally illegal in Canada as well as the US. As lawmakers and advocacy groups carry on the seemingly endless legalisation battle, players are largely left to their own devices to deal with personal and financial losses incurred as part of the fallout from Black Friday and the F.B.I.’s April 2011 decision to bring the North American gambling industry to a screeching halt.

US lawmakers seem set on convincing the public that the Department of Justice’s moves to crack down on illegal Internet gambling were protective measures aimed at shielding North American consumers from an unregulated – and therefore dangerous – practice. The facts behind the lawsuits filed against popular online poker sites such as Full Tilt Poker, PokerStars, and Absolute Poker, however, tell a very different story. Poker providers have been forced to fork over some $3 billion of their revenue to the government as reimbursement for “illegal gambling profits,” but millions of innocent poker fans have been told by the government officials working on the cases that they’ll just have to wait indefinitely for reimbursement of their frozen player accounts.

The fees imposed by the DOJ are hardly the end of gambling sites’ legal woes, however, and players have seen plenty of evidence to support the theory that Canadian and US governments are dead set on bleeding poker providers dry. In addition to wildly inconsistent financial penalties (Wachovia Bank’s alleged involvement in a drug smuggling ring, for example, cost the bank $160 million in government reimbursement fees seems inconsequential when compared to the standard $3 billion owed to the government by the providers in question), gaming advocacy groups have been forced to spend their dwindling funds on lobbying costs.

Though it is true that Canada’s provincially regulated gaming provides some players with a legal – and thus protected – way to enjoy online gambling, the rush to set up governmentally owned Internet casinos is leaving a sour taste in many gamblers’ mouths. It’s impossible to deny that federal, provincial and state budgets in the US and Canada are stretched incredibly thin at the moment, but monopolizing the online casino market through force can hardly be described as an intelligent or worthwhile course of action.

Is It Time For The GOP To Retire "The Southern Strategy"?!?

2012-01-09T00:00:00.003-05:00

Growing up in the (not so deep) South with two politically astute parents, I know The Southern Strategy when I see it. Sure, it's typically associated with Presidential and state-level politics, but it's often best observed at the micro level. Small town mayors, town councilmen, sheriffs, and even some judges in my home state would routinely appeal to white voters' worst fears (some blatant, some subliminal) about black folks, all in an effort to win office. And it usually worked.

The Southern Strategy is still used today, mostly because, well, it still works. There are still people naive enough to be manipulated into voting for you if you:

1) Convince them that inherently violent black boys will gang rape your daughter if you allow their children to attend your neighborhood school. (DANGER!)

2) Convince them that shiftless, lazy black people will use your hardearned taxes to buy crack, Magnums, 45-inch plasma TV's, and T-Bone steaks. (ENTITLEMENTS!)

3) Convince them that black people, because of some mythical force known as reverse racism, have an unfair leg up in the work force and college admissions. (UNEARNED ADVANTAGE!)

4) Convince them that black people want to fundamentally change everything you love about this country. The country your forefathers worked so tirelessly to create. (CULTURE WAR!)

There are a million and one variations of these four basic themes, but if you play them right, you can probably guarantee yourself votes. The 2008 election saw all of them lobbed at the country's first serious African American Presidential contender. He was painted as a guy who "palled around with terrorists" (DANGER!), went to Ivy League schools without really having good grades (UNEARNED ADVANTAGE!), and was raised by a nomadic mother who seldom held down a steady day job (ENTITLEMENTS!), and would use his office to exact revenge on Whitey (CULTURE WAR!).

Of course, Barack Obama went on to win the Presidency, but the GOP has continued to play the Southern Strategy against him, which resulted in some serious gains for them in 2010. Who can forget the ObamaCare debate (ENTITLEMENTS!), the insane assertion that he somehow was gonna indoctrinate children by merely delivering a videotaped address during school hours (CULTURE WAR!), that he seemed to show waaay too much favoritism to Muslims (DANGER!), and that he didn't bother prosecuting the very same Black Panthers that the Bush Administration also decided hadn't really suppressed any votes on election day (UNEARNED ADVANTAGE!). I could add more to this list of course, but you get the basic premise here.

With the 2012 GOP Primaries now in full swing, with the notable exception of Romney, pretty much every GOP contender has run some variation of the Southern Strategy to appeal to impressionable white voters yet again. Michelle Bachmann question Obama's "socialist" agenda (CULTURE WAR!). Rick Perry tells you Obama's out to end Christmas (DANGER!). Ron Paul basically thinks any government benefit is unfair (ENTITLEMENTS!). Even Herman Cain dibbled and dabbled in a bit of Muslim-bashing, before realizing the idiocy of this and apologizing (DANGER!). And now, the only two guys who can allegedly give Romney a run for his money are going all in to appeal to white fears.

Last week, Rick Santorum got caught between words when trying to explain that he didn't want to use the money of hardworking white Iowans to reward lazy inner city Negroes.

Whether he said the word "black" or not is immaterial. There isn't really any other word you can plug in there that changes the basic sentiment. We totally get what he was trying to say, whether he said it or not. Even if you gave him a pass on this, there's still his ignorant remarks about black people and abortion to chew on.

Not to be outdone, a few days later, Newt Gingrich delivers this beauty...

Come on, son, there's no way to spin this one. Not when you've made a habit of referring to Obama as The Food Stamp President©. So just shut up already.

I'm not going to label Gingrich or Santorum as racist. I don't know that they hate black people, and besides, you could never prove it anyway. If they were actually caught on tape saying "Damn, I hate N*ggers!", they'd both just spin it as a soundbyte taken out of context, and they'd have more than enough people (including some misguided black folks) giving them a pass.

In fact, I think we should just retire the word "racist".[1]

Before anyone questions why two guys who are within earshot of the GOP nomination would bother playing such a card, simply look at history. The Southern Strategy will keep being deployed until it no longer works, and I'm thinking 2012 is prolly not the year it dies. Still, it begs the question, even if it does actually work, isn't it eventually going to reach the point of diminishing returns?

Few people (except for Fox Nation commenters) actually revel in having a disdain for black people. Those who still do so nowadays, do it in the cloak of internet anonymity. Seriously, when's the last time you even heard of a KKK rally? So with that said, I think it's fair to say that the further we get from the the 1960's, the less comfortable people are going to be with being labeled a racist. It's really a tag nobody wants to wear, you know, sorta like a Washington Wizards fan.

So while these sorts of racist dog whistles do indeed appeal to a certain segment of the population, the amateur social scientist in me says that number is dwindling, and likely aging. At some point, these people will be such a small percentage of the populace, that there won't be any real gain in appealing to them. Heck, we might just be there right now.

In the meantime the millions of well meaning, decent white folks who don't want to even be associated with such racist tactics for fear of being somewhat guilty by association is probably growing. And while it's clear the GOP has no interest whatsoever in luring black voters (you wouldn't keep insulting us if you did), as the country becomes browner, they're probably going to alienate generations of Hispanics with their similar stances on undocumented workers and immigration.

Sometime in the future (perhaps in my lifetime, perhaps not), the country's voting populace will be majority minority. In addition to alienating well meaning whites, you're pretty much pissing on those votes as well. Does anyone on the GOP side ever sit down and seriously think about the longterm viability of the party, given these dynamics, or do they simply care about the next election? I'm just sayin'.

Of course, that date is far, far in the future. Today, and tomorrow, we can probably expect a whole lot more of The Southern Strategy.[2]

Because hey, it if ain't broke...

Question: Why doesn't GOP party leadership denounce these sorts of tactics? Do they simply not care about the longterm viability of a party that insults huge swaths of the voting populace, or are they only concerned about the next election cycle?

[1] Put a pin in that one. It's a concept I want to re-examine sometime in the future.

[2] I know some of you are saying "well hey, it's not like the Democrats" are innocent bystanders here either. And you'd be correct. But that's a different blog post for a different day.

Unemployment Rate Falls To 3 Year Low. Why Even Bother With The Election?!?

2012-01-06T09:41:00.006-05:00

Okay, the December 2011 jobs numbers are out.

A burst of hiring in December pushed the unemployment rate to its lowest level in nearly three years, giving the economy a boost at the end of 2011.

The Labor Department said Friday that employers added a net 200,000 jobs last month and the unemployment rate fell to 8.5 percent, the lowest since February 2009. The rate has dropped for four straight months.

The hiring gains cap a six-month stretch in which the economy generated 100,000 jobs or more in each month. That hasn't happened since April 2006. For all of 2011, the economy added 1.6 million jobs, better than the 940,000 added in 2010. The unemployment rate averaged 8.9 percent last year, down from 9.6 percent the previous year. Economists forecast that the job gains will top 2.1 million this year.

The December report painted a picture of a broadly improving job market. Average hourly pay rose, providing consumers with more income to spend. The average work week lengthened, a sign that business is picking up and companies may soon need more workers. And hiring was strong across almost all major industries.

Manufacturing added 23,000 jobs, as did the health care industry. Transportation and warehousing added 50,000 jobs. Retailers added 28,000 jobs. Even the beleaguered construction industry added 17,000 workers.

More jobs and higher pay are crucial to helping the economy grow. They could enable shoppers to increase spending, which fuels 70 percent of economic activity.

The economy likely grew at an annual rate of above 3 percent, a healthy pace.

Sure, you could pick these numbers apart, as those running against Obama surely will. But hey, any time more Americans are working, it should be applauded. Some of these jobs were obviously seasonal, but many of them were in sectors like manufacturing & construction where we've needed to see growth. All signs point upward.

Also, the trend is headed in the right direction here. We went from losing 800,000 jobs in December 2008, to gaining 200,000 last month. No, the economy is hardly "fixed", but considering where we came from, only a ~~Republican~~ true hater can say this is bad.

Question: Is this good news for President Obama? How will his GOP adversaries paint this as a bad development?

The NBA. I Hate This Game.

2012-01-06T00:08:00.001-05:00

As much as I hated the NBA lockout, I have probably enjoyed the NBA season to-date even less.

I guess this is what happens when you're the fan of the league's only (still) winless squad. This was supposed to be the year Washington Wizards fans saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The teal and bronze uniforms are gone. John Wall was supposed to take a Derrick Rose-ian leap forward. The rookies were all supposed to be immediate contributors. Blah, blah, blah.

2 weeks into the season, the team is currently the league's laughingstock with a 0-6 record. They typically dig themselves a huge hole in the first quarter and spend the rest of the game playing catchup. They've trailed by 30+ points in most of their games. Some of the games haven't even been competitive at any point. It's pathetic, sad, and borderline depressing.

The funny thing for me personally is that when my team is losing, I lose the desire to watch any NBA games, period. It would be like a guy who just totalled his car being forced to ride the bus, and watching all sorts of nice cars drive by. Hope that analogy makes sense. If it doesn't, well, who cares.

I've had to watch this all season, I deserve a pass.

Actually, I don't deserve a pass, I deserve an actual NBA team to cheer for.

Cause so far, this is some bullsh*t.

Question: Do you find it hard to be very interested in sports when your team of choice is struggling?

Rick Santorum Took A Dead Baby Home From The Hospital.

2012-01-05T00:02:00.003-05:00

[Editor's Note: Today's post is about an extremely sensitive topic. I'd ask that everyone be respectful with their responses and not turn this into some political/cultural thread. It's about basic human nature and how people handle death and grieving. Let's stay mature, and on-topic. I'll police the threads if I have to, but I'd like to think my readers are better than that. Ok, let's go.]

Real talk here: before my wife and I experienced the joy of parenthood (twice), we experienced the crushing pain of a miscarriage. Being on the road and getting that call from my wife still ranks as one of the most difficult moments in my life. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I certainly wouldn't tell anyone who has lost a child how to grieve. We all handle this differently, as we should.

With that said, the whole "take the dead fetus home" thing Santorum and his wife did? I'll admit, wasn't aware of this until recently, when comments from a Fox News contributor resulting a minor controversy.

Fox News contributor Alan Colmes apologized Monday night for making "hurtful" comments about the events following the 1996 death of Rick Santorum's infant son.

Earlier in the day, Colmes claimed Santorum took the baby home, after living for only two hours, and "played with it for a couple of hours so his other children would know that the child was real."

But Colmes' comments provoked an emotional response from the Republican presidential candidate and his wife earlier Monday.

Santorum choked up when asked to respond to the comments at a campaign event in Iowa. He described Colmes, who also hosts a show on Fox News Radio, as insensitive and gave a much different picture of the loss.

"We kept little Gabriel with us that night and we brought him home the next day," Santorum said at a campaign stop in Newton, Iowa. "We brought him home so our children could see him."

Santorum went on to tell the story about burying the child the following day, growing emotional as he spoke about the death and talked about Colmes' remarks.

"To some who don't recognize the dignity of all human life, who see it as a blob of tissue that should be discarded and disposed of, this is somehow weird. Recognizing the humanity of your son is somehow weird, somehow odd, and should be subject to ridicule," Santorum said.

Here's the Alan Colmes comment that started the whole thing.

I like Colmes a lot, and listen to his Fox News Radio show whenever I happen to be awake late enough to catch it. He's usually a straight shooter, but he was dead wrong here. To his credit, he did apologize almost immediately to the family, as well as on-air, and I think he was genuine. So there's that.

That said, it's clearly beyond the pale for me to tell someone how to grieve, but taking a dead 20 week old baby home, letting your kids play with it, sleeping in the bed with it, and taking Polaroids just seems jive weird. And creepy.

Thoughts? Not trying to start sh*t or anything, and I'm not even making this political or even about Santorum. But I was wondering what ya'll thought. Tell me.

Question: Is this a wee bit odd, or is everyone entitled to grieve in their own way? Assuming you've experienced a similar loss, how did you handle it?

I Wish I Could Turn This Into A Ringtone...

2012-01-04T23:20:00.001-05:00

Awesome song. Awesome video. Awesome message.

Shout out to my friend Lamar Tyler of Black & Married With Kids, doin' his thing behind the camera.

The Santorum Surge Comes Up Just A Bit Short.

2012-01-04T09:06:00.002-05:00

So, it took until late, late in the night, but it looks like Mitt Romney edged out Rick Santorum by a handful of votes to take the contest in Iowa, and all 25 of its delegates. Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich filled out the top 4. Bachmann and Perry have "suspended" their campaigns. Even Herman Cain got a handful of votes, which says so much about our electoral process, yet so little at the same time.

And with that, it's pretty clear to anyone with a working set of eyes that Mittens is going to be the guy that loses to Obama come November. Congrats GOP!

Question: Can you draw any conclusions from last night's results?

The Slow, Gruesome Death Of Black Radio.

2012-01-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

I've long complained about the total f*ckery that is the state of black radio in 2012. I personally abandoned the Kiss/Hot/Power/Where Hip Hop and R&B Lives format over a decade ago. The advent of MP3's helped, and since I'm a SirusXM subscriber, I only find myself listening to terrestrial radio when I'm in a rental car with no other options.

The reasons are myriad. The Hip Hop and R&B playlist driven format basically ensures you're gonna hear the exact same 10 songs every hour, regardless of where in the country you are. Only songs that fit a specific radio-friendly sound are gonna get played. The repetitive "money/b*tches/drugs" messages are annoying and dumb. And when most radio personalities are actually allowed to talk, they're typical devoid of substance, talkin' (very!) loud and saying nothing. Whose life is really enhanced by listening to 4 Trey Songz songs in a 30 minute span? I'll pass.

Adding kids to the equation only makes this worse. My children are young, but they're also smart, so we try and shield them from as much of this nonsense as possible because, well, they're still kids. At some point in time they'll be grown enough to pick their own music. Till then, that Thomas And Friends soundtrack gets a bunch of play.

I don't typically like quoting other opinion pieces (for obvious reasons) but The Washington Post's Natalie Hopkinson recently penned something along these same lines that basically summarizes my thoughts on black radio.

I recently added D.C.’s two FM hip-hop radio stations--WPGC and WKYS--to the list of items banned in my house. I’ve long been tired of having to explain the latest raunchy R&B and hip-hop lyrics to my kids, and when I heard the radio ad for The Stadium (yeah, that strip club) for the umpteenth time, I realized that black radio is beyond redemption.

I clearly have nothing against strip clubs, but I’m bringing back the ghost of C. Delores Tucker because, bottom line, my children need to be allowed to be what they are: children. Because at the tender ages of 8 and 11, they have a whole lifetime of gutter street talk, cursing and unsubtle sexual innuendo ahead of them. Because, if they keep getting exposed to this stuff now, going away to college will be anticlimactic.

But they are allowed to listen to the local Top-40 (white) pop station. For a hip-hop fan and certified race woman such as myself, that is the saddest thing to admit. Given the plethora of other choices, Pandora, to iTunes, or satellite radio, I shouldn’t be so bothered by black radio’s descent into the gutter.

But for generations, black radio has been a driving force of black culture and politics, the modern day drum for communities of African descent as William Barlow explains in “Voice Over: The Making of Black Radio.”

Giving up on black radio, which was so critical for giving an immigrant like me a window into race in America, feels like losing a friend.

So where did our love go wrong? Paul Porter of the media think tank Industry Ears, recently explained in his essay “Why Black Radio is So Damn Bad” on RapRehab.com that the community connection to black radio slowly began to unravel with the 1996 passage of the Telecommunications Act, which turned formerly black-owned stations into publicly traded commodities. The rise of syndication, which expanded the reach and influence of personalities such as Tom Joyner, Steve Harvey, but muted local voices and news.

So this is how you have black radio being used to peddle kiddie malt liquor aimed at black communities. That is how it became the site of Cathy Hughes own personal grudge match against Congress. Black music and radio industry execs act more like tabloid editors, leaving nothing to the imagination.

White pop stations are not perfect either, but they offer a less grim view of reality. Those songs can be cheesy, corny. They are not nearly as soulful, catchy or stupid-funny as, say, the Ying Yang twins. But I can safely allow my son to listen to it in his room, with the door closed, without worrying about him losing his innocence.

I disagree with Hopkinson about "Pop" stations. They're probably even more mind numbingly repetitive, and the content of the music isn't really any safer for kids. When in doubt, tune in to Radio Disney.

As far as black radio goes, for me, it's a lost cause. I don't look to black raduo for my news/commentary, but when shows like Michael Baisden and Steve Harvey are actually considered serious conversation, count me out. When I can flip between DC's three Hip-Hop/R&B themed stations and simultaneously hear the very same Drake song on all three, there's obviously a problem. When a DJ promises one hour of uninterrupted music, then proceeds to plug some event at a club between every song, I'm changing the station for good.[1]

At least SiriusXM offers a far more expansive playlist, and that alone is worth paying $12 a month for.

Question: Do you listen to "black radio"? How do you manage the whole music situation with your kids?

[1] One Notable Exception: Power 105.1's The Breakfast Club with Angela Yee is the rare show worth listening to. The interviews are great, skip the music.

The Iowa Caucuses Are (Finally) Here.

2012-01-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

While it might seem like just yesterday when Senator Barack Obama made history by becoming America's first black President, reality is, it's been 3 looong years. Likewise, it's been 3 looong years since a 20 or so GOP contenders first started running against him. That number's been whittled down to 9 or so, and finally, the process of determining who gets to lose to Obama in a landslide later this year begins today, as Iowans go to "caucus".

I've been the Iowa (once, many years ago). While I found Des Moines to be a very pleasant place, for the life of me, I couldn't (and still can't) understand what is was about this state that made it worthy of the privilege of setting the tone for Presidential campaigns. While the country continues to brown, Iowa is roughly 91% white.[1] There ain't many AverageBros (around 2%) there other than Harrison Barnes, and thankfully he left.[2]

So why is this state, which is overwhelming evangelical, and not exactly demographically representative of the USA as a whole, given the right to essentially knock candidates out of the running? Well, then candidates who haven't ethered themselves already. How ya' doin', Hermanator?!?

The answer is mostly traditional, but partly fiscal as well, as a political cycle can dump more than $100M into the state's economy. In short, it's just the way it is, and attempts to reshuffle the order of primaries in the past has come up short. Iowa is first, mostly because, well, it's just first. It is what it is.

The ironic/strange thing about Tuesday's caucuses is that after 3,021 debates, 3 years of lobbying, and millions of dollars in ads, a puzzling number of Iowans still don't know who they'll vote for tomorrow.

Underscoring the unpredictability of the race, a new poll by The Des Moines Register showed that a remarkable 41 percent of likely caucus-goers say they were undecided or still might change their minds.

Romney had 24 percent support among likely voters while Paul had 22 percent, meaning they were statistically even at the front of the pack. Santorum was third with 15 percent, followed by Newt Gingrich, with 12 percent, and Rick Perry, with 11 percent. Michele Bachmann, a one-time Iowa favorite, brought up the rear with 7 percent.

However, in a sign of how quickly things can change, the last two days of the poll — taken Tuesday through Friday — found Santorum with momentum and Paul losing his. Heading into the weekend, Romney held a narrow lead, but Santorum was right behind him with 21 percent while Paul had fallen to 18 percent.

So, lemme see if I've got this right. After all that campaigning, having candidates go from one diner to another[3], and knock on every door in the state 7 times, these numbnuts still have no clue who they'll vote for? I thought Real Americans were supposed to be politically astute. Piss or get off the pot, Iowa!

An idea advanced by several states (and defeated) a few years back would have rotated the order of primaries. That woulda made sense, because given that I live in a "middle" state like Maryland, things are usually somewhat decided by the time I get to vote. Suppose I was a Michelle Bachmannite? I'd be basically screwed, since we all know she isn't making it past South Carolina. Ditto for "Santorum", a dude whose last name alone should disqualify him from running.

Personally, I think Mitt Romney will shock the world and win Iowa in a landslide tonight. Despite their flirtations with every Tom, Dick, and Newt, Republicans aren't dumb. They hate Obama more than they love a "principled Conservative". Romney's gonna be the guy when all's said and done, we all know this.

Question: Should a single state like Iowa have so much power? What do you think will happen tonight? Who's going to be the first candidate to "drop out to spend more time with my family"?!?

[1] How's this for irony? Utah, generally assumed to be one of the whitest states period, is just 86% white. Been there too. Beautiful state.

[2] Just Google it, already.

[3] Uhhh, seriously, what's up with that? Who hangs out in diners at 11am on a weekday? Don't these people have jobs to go to, or is that one more thing to blame on Obama?

AB.com's 2011 Predictions, Revisited.

2012-01-02T00:34:00.003-05:00

Rather than some super-lame "the year that was" review like a lot of sites run, AB.com has a tradition of making "predictions" at the beginning of the year, dropping them in a time capsule (aka: the archives) and dredging them up at the year ends to see just how far off I was. 2012's Predictions are on the way later this week. Here's some of what I predicted for 2011, and what actually happened.

--- Politrickal Predictions ---

My Prediction - "President Obama will find Year 3 of his Presidency the easiest thus far. The bipartisan wins of the lame duck session will miraculously roll over in the the new year, as the President and GOP-controlled Congress will come together to tackle issues of tax code reform, deficit reduction, and the economy at large. Obama will finally figure out how to take credit for what he does, and a White House shakeup in early 2011 will result in better messaging as a whole. His approval ratings will resurface to the mid 50's, setting the table for 2012."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Well, this year was his easiest, by far, mostly because he didn't do sh*t. This wasn't entirely his fault, since he was fighting a stubborn Congress with the approval rating lower than Porn, Polygamy, BP Oil Spill, the 'U.S. Going Communist'. On the plus side, he handled several crises with aplomb, figured out how to frame/critique his opposition (see: Trump, Donald), and finally got rid of that smug buffoon Robert Gibbs. His approval rating is roughly 50% right now, so I'll give myself credit on a sliding scale for that one.

Net Result - 33% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The economy will finally rebound. With new job numbers improving month by month, the Obama administration will be able to claim they solved the unemployment issue. By year's end, unemployment will drop to an even 9.0%, which won't be earth shattering, but will be a good enough trend for the Administration to prove things are on the right track."

See, What Had Happened Was... - The economy, despite some backwards jobs numbers mid-year, is definitely on the uptick. The unemployment rate, thanks to some dubious math, is at 8.6% right now, which is lower than anyone (including Obama) probably expected. First time jobless claims are way down. Housing numbers are up. The Dow was mostly flat for the year, which counts as a win. Gas prices are down slightly. Things could obviously fall apart this year, but I could very easily see 200k new jobs a month on average in 2012, which would spell low 8%'s in unemployment. Which spells reelection.

Net Result - 85% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The Dow will briefly eclipse the 14,000 mark during the course of the year, then level back off.
"

See, What Had Happened Was... - The Dow hit the mid 12's, fell waaaay down, and rebounded to the low 12's, finishing the year up 5.5%. Not terrible, not great, and certainly not what I predicted

Net Result - 0% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The GOP will find itself continually at-odds within their newly controlled Congress. While party leadership will be more apt to work with the President, the Tea Partiers will be eager to make a name for themselves and will prove to be a thorn in the side of progress. In an odd turn of events, the Tea Party and Congressional Black Caucus will find themselves on the same side when the President and GOP leadership strike a deal that neither group agrees with."

See, What Had Happened Was... - The CBC and Tea Party both (briefly) opposed the debt ceiling agreement, albeit for radically different reasons. Could someone just hand me my Crystal Ball Legacy Award now?

Net Result - 150% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "By year's end, Tea Party newbies will find themselves unable to get anything of substance done and will simply fall in line with GOP leadership on some very controversial votes, which will set the tone for a difficult 2012 re-election campaign for many TP candidates."

See, What Had Happened Was... - This is mostly true. Congress was in a stalemate the entire year, mostly because Tea Partiers wouldn't fall in lock step with Speaker Boehner. On the flipside, there's no substantive proof that they'll be held accountable by their constituents. Which is sorta strange, because these folks were sent to DC to help slash the deficit, and proved to be the biggest obstacles to a substantive deficit reduction plan. And yeah, the deficit will indeed increase in 2012. Someone please explain to me why Tea Party constituents aren't running up to the Capitol with pitchforks right now?!?

Net Result - 33% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The usual GOP suspects will declare their 2012 intentions by March. Sarah Palin, however, will string the party along for months until announcing that she won't run sometime in the Summer. Tea Partiers and bloggers alike will fall into a deep depression. Imagine all of the lost post fodder."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Call 1-888-AB-PREDICTS for my free psychic reading. Operators are standing by. Call me now!!! Thankfully, we did have Herman Cain to make up for some of the lost Palin fodder.

Net Result - 3,500% Accurate

--- Pop Culture Predictions ---

My Prediction - "Tyler Perry will finally make a movie (of his own) that's actually good enough to get bourgeois Negroes like myself off his back. Yes, the movie (which won't include Madea) will actually be that decent.."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Dead wrong. With the exception of the hideous Madea's Big Happy Family, Perry was notably quiet this year on-screen. But hey, the Kim Kardashian-lead The Marriage Counselor is coming this year. I smell Oscar. And by "Oscar", I mean, Oscar The Grouch.

Net Result - 0% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "J. Cole will finally blow up, as his debut album sells close to 200,000 copies the first week."

See, What Had Happened Was... - While Cole World was an epic disappointment of LA Clippers-sian proportions, Cole did indeed get close to the 200k mark his first week and the album's since gone gold. You also can't turn on he radio without hearing "Can't Get Enough" or "Workout", which I don't necessarily consider a good thing. Not convinced this guy has "superstar" in him, but he did move units, which counts for something in today's rap game. Well done, Jermaine. But I'mma need a much better sophomore effort.

Net Result - 95% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "A new white rapper will become the biggest thing in the rap game at some point in the year."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Mac Miller's Blue Slide Park made history of sorts, even though it wasn't all that great. YelaWolf had Eminem's co-sign, but his album bricked hard. I'm gonna pretty much assume Machine Gun Kelly catches a brick this year. None of these guys will ever become a superstar. Most of you reading this post probably don't know a single one of them. So, not quite accurate.

Net Result - 25% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "A high profile rap groupie will get her own reality show on VH1."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Personally, I'm sorta lazy at this point, and don't even know if this actually happened, nor do I have the energy to consult The Google. Does ~~Marginally Good Looking Chicks Who've Slept With D-List New York cRappers~~ Love & Hip Hop count? If not, I probably get some credit for this at least.

#HoesBeWinnin

Net Result - 50% Accurate

--- Sports Predictions ---

My Prediction - "The LA Lakers will lose in an early round matchup. The Miami Heat will implode in the Eastern Conference Finals vs the Boston Celtics, effectively blowing the homecourt advantage they worked all season to get. The San Antonio Spurs will in the NBA championship."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Mixed bag here. I got the implosions correct, but the order of implosion wrong. The Lakers (and Spurs) bowed out early. Miami waited until the NBA Finals for Lebron James to suddenly morph into James Jones. Props to the Mavs. Enjoy that title, it'll be awhile.

Net Result - 25% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The Chicago Bears will win the Super Bowl. Yeah, really."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Uh, no, not really

Net Result - 0% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The UConn Huskies will win both the men's and women's' NCAA basketball titles."

See, What Had Happened Was... - You gotta give me props here. Who coulda predicted Kemba Walker's incredible run, which culminated in the absolute worst championship game evar? The Lady Huskies made the Final Four, but sadly lost. Rats.

Net Result - 50% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "The Pittsburgh Penguins will win the Stanley Cup (again).."

See, What Had Happened Was... - Unless the Penguins magically relocated to Boston, I missed this one like a Graham Gano field goal attempt.

Net Result - 0% Accurate

---

My Prediction - "Blake Griffin will win the NBA's Rookie Of The Year award."

See, What Had Happened Was... - This wasn't exactly a reach at the time, but I still don't think Griffin deserved to win this, on a strictly technical basis. He missed his rookie year, but did have a whole season to absorb the NBA life, travel, see opponents up close, and practice with the team. Not exactly a "rookie", so John Wall should have won this. But anyways...

Net Result - 100% Accurate, but with a serious asterisk

Overall Verdict On AB's 2011 Predictions: %45 Accurate

Question: Am I pretty good at this predictions stuff or what?

AB.com Holiday Open Mic

2011-12-30T08:40:00.000-05:00

The blog is taking a much needed holiday hiatus. We'll be back soon, but till then, entertain yourselves.

Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Ron Paul Is Not Too Fond Of Blacks. Or Gays. Or Jews.

2011-12-27T23:35:00.004-05:00

If there's one thing about politricks that really peeves me, it's the constant game of guilt by association that typically pops up during political campaigns. People's past business partners, 3rd cousins 5 times removed, and college weed man all become co-signers through which a candidate's character is judged. This special brand of nonsense reached its zenith during the 2008 campaign when Barack Obama's occasionally nutty occasional pastor became a household name.

"...coming home... to roost"

So when I first heard about Ron Paul's alleged newsletters back in 08', I sorta dismissed it as more of the same. Paul wasn't registering high on anyone's polls, and really wasn't in any danger of actually, you know, winning a primary or caucus. This year, Paul's still in no danger of actually, you know, winning a primary or caucus, but with slow news cycles leading up to Iowa, the press has to have something to talk about. Cue the Newsletter Outrage, complete to fact checking via the Washington Post.

Accusations of racism against Paul first surfaced during the candidate’s 1996 congressional campaign, when Democratic opponent Lefty Morris unveiled racially tinged quotes from a newsletter the Texas libertarian had published during his 12-year hiatus from public office.

The national media latched onto the issue during Paul’s 2008 presidential bid, after the New York Times and the New Republic highlighted derogatory statements about blacks and gays from the bulletins.

The issue resurfaced as Paul moved to the front of the GOP pack in recent weeks, and the congressman appeared to be fed up with the matter as he walked away from an interview in which a CNN reporter pressed for more answers.

We won’t be the judge of whether Paul is a bigot, but we can examine the extent to which he had control over his publications. Are we to believe he never reviewed the newsletters that bore his name? Would he have eliminated the messages if he’d seen them?

Paul helped form the Ron Paul & Associates corporation in 1984, and the now-defunct company, for which he served as president, began publishing newsletters the following year. The monthly publications included Ron Paul’s Freedom Report, the Ron Paul Survival Report, the Ron Paul Political Report and the Ron Paul Investment Letter.

Many of the derogatory comments came from a 1992 commentary in the Political Report titled “A Special Issue on Racial Terrorism.” The article blames African American men for the L.A. riots, saying, “The criminals who terrorized our cities — in riots and on every non-riot day — are not exclusively young black males, but they largely are.”

Another passage from the article tries to explain how the tumult finally ended, saying, “Order was only restored in L.A. when it came time for the blacks to pick up their welfare checks three days after rioting began.” The writer gives no credit to police, state troopers or soldiers from the National Guard and Army and the Marines who helped end the chaos.

That wasn’t an isolated incident with Paul’s newsletters. A separate article from the Survival Report said, “If you have ever been robbed by a black teenaged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”

The Paul publications also criticized homosexuals, saying gays “enjoy the attention and pity that comes with being sick,” referring to AIDS.

The articles contain no bylines and no signatures, just Ron Paul’s name in giant letters on the publications’ mastheads. This leaves a tiny bit of wiggle room for the Texas congressman to defend himself. That’s what he’s done, telling the media he has “no idea” how the inflammatory comments made it into print.

Hosting a blog that runs ads and occasional guest posts is a fair enough parallel to running a newsletter back in the mid 90's, so I'm gonna put on my expect hat here. Paul was supposedly making enough money to supplement his income as a doctor, so there's a good chance this wasn't something he just did for a few hours a weekend over the kitchen table. His haul for these newsletters was supposedly in the millions, so there's little to no chance he had no clue what was actually being written there. Even if he didn't know, he was responsible for hiring the people who did.

On this blog, when I run guest posts, it's with the (unwritten) disclaimer that I don't necessarily agree with everything the guest says. On that note, since it's technically my house, it's (correctly) assumed that I made the decision to run the post, thus, I've got a reasonable amount of culpability should people object to what's said, because, after all, I made the decision to post it. And yeah, there have been lots of times when I regretted running a guest post. CJames, I'm looking at you.

On that same note, Paul can't both profit from a newsletter and feign ignorance at its contents. It's not fair to assume that he thinks "95% of black males in DC are are semi-criminal or entirely criminal", but it he made the editorial decision (or hired someone who did) to publish such an ignorant statement, and profited from it, there's some sliver of a co-sign there.

I'm just sayin'.

Of course, none of this matters. Paul won't make it to Super Tuesday. Mitt Romney was born to lose to Obama, and that's pretty much all she wrote.

Question: Is it fair to make Ron Paul guilty by association because of the ignorant comments in his newsletter? How about guest posts on blogs? It is partially assumed that if I run a guest post, I sorta agree with it?

AB.com Guest Post - A Flag, A Noose, and a Blank Stare.

2011-12-22T00:00:00.002-05:00

[Editor's Note: AverageCommnenter™ extraordinaire Marbles shares a recent encounter of race, flags, and revisionist history. As usual, show our guest some love (or not) you-know-where.]

This week a Facebook friend of mine, someone I’ve known casually since elementary school[1], posted a photo entitled “another drawing.” The photo was of a sketch, neatly rendered in colored pencil, of the Confederate flag. In front of the flag was a noose. Underneath, flying proudly on a banner, were the words “Southern Justice.”

“WTF?” I commented below. “Are you serious?!

“What?” she replied. “It’s a symbol just like the American flag. It represents honor and tradition.” Her husband then chimed in. “This flag symbolizes what this country was built on and should still stand for,” he said. “It symbolizes living your life the way you want to without government assholes interfering, and the right to say what you please.”

“That’s the southern revisionist narrative,” I said. “That flag stands for nothing but domestic terrorism. The kind practiced by those who could burn people alive on Saturday and go to church on Sunday.”

“You need to get an education,” said one friend-of-the-friend. “Both blacks and whites fought under that flag and died with honor.” “It’s a shame that she just wanted to share her drawing with her friends and you come on here and insult her,” added another.

“You guys don’t understand what ‘southern justice’ really meant,” I said. “Do you know what that noose truly means to people?”

“The noose conveys the right to exercise backwoods justice instead of letting the courts give child molesters and drug dealers get a slap on the wrist,” the husband replied. “It’s tradition, not racism.”[2]

“Mob justice has no place in a civilized society,” I said. “As for the other thing, the motivating force behind the Confederacy is a matter of public record.”

“You are showing your ignorance,” said the husband. “I could argue the facts with you all day long, as I’m quite the Civil War buff.[3] The war was about southern states being taxed to death, not slavery.”

“That’s completely bogus,” I said. “The reasons for the war are not disputed history. And you just don’t get you’re really invoking with that noose and flag. Look into the ‘postcards’ that were so popular. Read about the ‘souvenirs.’”

“One of the few freedoms we have left in this country,” the husband replied, “is the freedom to have our own opinions. And you’re perfectly entitled to believe anything you read in a government-produced textbook. “In case we don’t talk again,” he added, “Merry Christmas. Unless that offends you, too.”

Something nagged at me.

I walked up to the desk of “Cam,” the only black woman working in the office and a former southerner in her fifties. “Cam,” I asked. “When you were a kid in West Palm, what exactly did they teach you about the Civil War?”

“They taught us whatever they taught us,” she said breezily. “Whatever it was, I read it in the schoolbooks they gave us, passed the test, and moved on.” I didn’t like where this was going.

“Yes, but what was in those books?” I pressed.

“Now how do you expect me to remember something like that?” she said, looking at me skeptically. “There were a million things in those books they gave us. And they’re all the same things that are in those books today. You read ‘em, you pass the test, and you’re done. You can’t keep all these things in your head. You just can’t!”

“Yes, but…” Regrettably the ultimate jerkass question was called for. “Do you remember what the Civil War was fought over?”

“Well, I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose I could remember if I thought long and hard about it. But I don’t think about these things on a day to day basis, Marbles. I don’t go around thinking about the Civil War.”

“Wasn’t it about civil rights?” piped up the white girl who works at the other desk. Ever felt like a drowning fish?

“You guys really don’t know what the American Civil War was about?” I was talking to them both, but my eyes were squarely on Cam. “It was about civil rights!” the white girl asserted again.

“You really expect me to recall something I looked up in a book a hundred years ago?” Cam said in amazement. “You think I got the time to rack my brains like that? I don’t remember what it was about and it doesn’t matter to me. I’m not gonna use that stuff for anything in my life.”

“Cam,” I said, “it was over slavery.”

“Well, so it was over slavery,” she shrugged. “I never lived through any of that. I don’t spend my time thinking about things like that, Marbles. I got other things to think about in my life, you know.”

“Guys,” I said, regretting that the office’s walls weren’t mine to bang my head against. “If we’re all this historically illiterate…”

“Hey,” the white girl frowned.

“If we’re all this historically illiterate,” I went on, “that’s why we’re so easy to manipulate.”

“I’m not easy to manipulate,” Cam replied with singsong firmness. “Nobody manipulates me.”

There was nowhere left to go from there, except back to my desk.

“She is right ,” I had to admit. “Nobody does.”

Question: What’s behind this northern embracing of sanitized southern mythology? Is it an inevitable result of national, rightwing backlash culture? Does Cam’s nonchalance indicate a larger problem with historical amnesia among those most affected by our nation’s past? How the bloody #&%$!! does all this happen, anyway?

[1] Keep in mind these Facebook people are all fellow northerners. I don’t get it, either.

[2] I know what you’re thinking, and answer is yes. They invoked that kid.

[3] Incidentally, this is a link the guy sent to “educate” me. Queensland, Australia? Really? (shrug)

The GOP Hands Obama A Victory. Obama Concedes Defeat.

2011-12-20T14:26:00.006-05:00

While I'm obviously not #TeamGOP come November 2012, I'm hardly all that gung ho about pulling the lever for President Obama either.[1] A candidacy that seemed so capable of excellence has essentially resulted in a presidency full of "meh". This brotha should legally change his middle name from Hussein to Mediocrity.

Chief among my concerns about President Obama has been his style of leadership, or complete and utter lack thereof. He delegates when he should set the agenda. He leads from behind instead of pulling the wagon. He compromises with an opposition to whom "compromise" is a four letter word. And of course, he walks softly, and carries the proverbial small stick when it comes to calling out the GOP on their foolishness.[2] Like hair loss in women, he's one great big ball of disappointment. Yesterday was practically a textbook example in Obama's own patented brand of leadership #fail.

The House on Tuesday rejected a bipartisan Senate compromise to extend a payroll tax cut for two months, along with unemployment benefits, plunging Washington on the eve of Christmas into uncertainty about the fate of the tax cut enjoyed by 160 million workers.

On a vote of 229 to 193, the House set aside the Senate bill and requested a formal conference with the Senate, setting up a showdown with the Democratic-controlled Senate and President Obama, who has demanded that the House approve the short-term plan now to avoid a Jan. 1 tax hike.

Seven Republicans voted against defeating the Senate bill and sending the legislation to conference. Democrats, who have pushed for the full-year payroll tax cut for months, say Congress should accept the temporary measure now and return in January to solve an impasse over how to extend the cut for the full year.

The Senate deal would also postpone a scheduled cut in reimbursement rates for doctors who treat Medicare patients.

So, essentially, by pulling their typical d*ck move, all in the name of rewarding special interests with permission to build a gas line to Canada, the GOP is holding up the extension of a payroll tax holiday, which could take money out of the pockets of Real Americans in a few weeks. Public opinion polls show Real Americans are solidly behind Obama on this issue, and many within the GOP were for this issue before they were against it. Obama's own approval rating is now back around 50%, which probably says more about the circus tent of GOP 2012 contenders than anything he's done personally. If there's any time to call the GOP out on their BS in the most damning, and public of manners, this would be it. So what does Obama do?!?

Shortly after the House vote, Obama made a statement calling on House Republicans to “do the right thing” and “put politics aside” to vote on the Senate bill.

“Let’s not play brinksmanship. The American people are weary of it. They’re tired of it,” Obama declared. “I’m calling on the speaker and the House Republican leadership to bring up the Senate bill for a vote.”

"Do the right thing"?

"Calling on the speaker and GOP leadership"?

"Brinksmanship"?

What. The. F*ck?!?

Seriously, if there's a time when Obama would be totally justified in dropping an expletive, this would be it. But in his typical reserved, rehearsed fashion, he just says more even-keeled baloney about "bipartisanship" and "putting politics aside". Who exactly does he think he's up against? This isn't like playing Sasha and Malia in a friendly game of Wii Tennis, this is fullscale retail politricks. Kindly calling on the GOP to "take up a vote" and "do the right thing" is like asking T-Pain to kindly stop using AutoTune. It's not going to happen, my friend.

Whatever happened to driving over to Capitol Hill and bustin' some heads open? How about threatening to withhold the salaries of Congress until this gets done? Maybe threatening to force the Senate to return and no vacations till this gets resolved?!?[3] Where is the passion for the plight of millions of Americans who will see their paychecks shrink because the GOP is playing political chicken with a completely unrelated issue of special interest?

Where is the fire, damnit?!?

Of course, I've answered my own question, and have nobody to blame but myself. Common sense would have shown that at no point in Obama's bio or professional history has he been the type to confront, clap back, or call someone out. History would have also shown that the GOP is more than willing to do all the above, and then some, even when the facts don't back up their assertions.

Obama isn't a fighter, Obama is Young Berg.[4]

In a perfect world, the GOP would just snatch his chain and the rest of us would be spared the residual damage. In the real world, Obama's lack of fight will probably mean a few less dollars in our pockets very soon, and an closer than it needs to be presidential election next November.

Grow a pair (or two) Barry. I'm just sayin'.

Question: Who's to blame for Obama's lack of leadership? Obama himself, or us for stupidly assuming he'd somehow morph into a fighter once he took office?

[1] Dear Obama Campaign, please stop calling me asking for donations. Thank you.

[2] I don't have the time to list all the examples of where/how his leadership has been lacking. Click on that "The Negro Prez" tag and get familiar before you come at me sideways.

[3] No, I don't know if this is legal or Constitutional. I don't care. Nor do the American People. Do it anyway.

[4] In case you missed that one... here. Play catch up.

Literally Ashy Or Classy?!? - Palmer's Cocoa Butter For Men Commercial.

2011-12-20T00:23:00.000-05:00

As a medium brown brother with combination skin, I love me some Palmer's Cocoa Butter[1]. I mean, love it, especially after shaving. At this time of year, slathering a bit on can help keep the ash away. It's like Kryptonite for ashy skin. Of course, the problem with cocoa butter is the smell. It's overpowering. It's hard not to notice. You smell oily. And yes, my wife hates it.

Married Dude Problems.

Anyways, when I heard sports talk radio commercials for a special brand of scent-free Palmer's Cocoa Butter just for men, I rushed right down to my neighborhood CVS, which, of course, doesn't carry the product. If you know where to get it, holla at me. I'd hate to order something so frivolous online, but I also can't drive around all day looking for it.

So, I'm Googling the product, and I come across this f*ckery...

Look, I'm not much of an NFL fan, so I can't tell you if the McCourty twins are gainfully employed with a real team, or one of those Arena League outfits. What I can tell you is that whoever their agent is, that bama needs to be fired.

Seriously, what's the point of this ad? Do they simply want to portray these twins are two shiftless footballing Negroes who can barely read? Because if not, they might need some help with voice inflection or something. And oh yeah, don't think I missed the subliminal message at the end. Did you?

Sorry, this might just be the Ashiest commercial I've ever seen. Literally.

All jokes aside though, if you know what store carries that product, holla at me.

Question: Literally Ashy Or Classy?!? Do these guys need a new agent? Are they even in the NFL?!? What's up with the Jungle Fever-ness at the end?

[1] Despite the preponderance of such things around here of late, no, this isn't a paid plug. I just really like the product, and my wife really hates the smell. So somebody help me find this, please!!!

AB.com Open Mic Tuesday.

2011-12-20T00:15:00.000-05:00

Chasin' paper today. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

If I Were A Poor Black Kid.

2011-12-19T00:07:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm admittedly (waaay) late to the show here, but hey, maybe you were under a rock last week and missed this opinion piece from Forbes.com. For the clueless, tech section (?) "contributor" (?) Gene Marks used the President's recent speech in Kansas as the starting point for a much-maligned essay about how inner city youth could do so much better in life if they'd just work a bit harder and learn how to use Google Scholar. (?) It is practically a textbook example of liberal[1] white guilt and paternalism. I'm only going to excerpt a bit of it here, since the piece probably needs to be read in its entirety to get the full gist.

The President’s speech got me thinking. My kids are no smarter than similar kids their age from the inner city. My kids have it much easier than their counterparts from West Philadelphia. The world is not fair to those kids mainly because they had the misfortune of being born two miles away into a more difficult part of the world and with a skin color that makes realizing the opportunities that the President spoke about that much harder. This is a fact. In 2011.

I am not a poor black kid. I am a middle aged white guy who comes from a middle class white background. So life was easier for me. But that doesn’t mean that the prospects are impossible for those kids from the inner city. It doesn’t mean that there are no opportunities for them. Or that the 1% control the world and the rest of us have to fight over the scraps left behind. I don’t believe that. I believe that everyone in this country has a chance to succeed. Still. In 2011. Even a poor black kid in West Philadelphia.

It takes brains. It takes hard work. It takes a little luck. And a little help from others. It takes the ability and the know-how to use the resources that are available. Like technology. As a person who sells and has worked with technology all my life I also know this.

If I was a poor black kid I would first and most importantly work to make sure I got the best grades possible. I would make it my #1 priority to be able to read sufficiently. I wouldn’t care if I was a student at the worst public middle school in the worst inner city. Even the worst have their best. And the very best students, even at the worst schools, have more opportunities. Getting good grades is the key to having more options. With good grades you can choose different, better paths. If you do poorly in school, particularly in a lousy school, you’re severely limiting the limited opportunities you have.

President Obama was right in his speech last week. The division between rich and poor is a national problem. But the biggest challenge we face isn’t inequality. It’s ignorance. So many kids from West Philadelphia don’t even know these opportunities exist for them. Many come from single-parent families whose mom or dad (or in many cases their grand mom) is working two jobs to survive and are just (understandably) too plain tired to do anything else in the few short hours they’re home. Many have teachers who are overburdened and too stressed to find the time to help every kid that needs it. Many of these kids don’t have the brains to figure this out themselves – like my kids. Except that my kids are just lucky enough to have parents and a well-funded school system around to push them in the right direction.

Technology can help these kids. But only if the kids want to be helped. Yes, there is much inequality. But the opportunity is still there in this country for those that are smart enough to go for it.

Again, you probably need to read the whole thing before you comment, but I think you get the basic premise. If black kids just tried a bit harder, and were a bit more resourceful in utilizing technology, they could all be mediocre writers for a mostly irrelevant magazine's website. This, obviously, is pure sh*t.

Look, I've never been a poor black kid either. Black, sure? Poor? Not so much. My parents busted their humps in college and worked hard to become the first ever graduates from their prospective families, excelled in their careers, and stressed education to my and my brothers. I grew up in a relatively crime-free suburb of a mid-sized city in the South, and went to okay (not great, but certainly not terrible) schools. I've never wondered where my next meal was coming from, whether or not we'd have a place to sleep at night, or had to dodge bullets on the way to the corner store. So in the most crude of senses, I'm just as clueless about some aspects of what is means to be a "poor black kid" as Mr. Marks. At least I can admit as much.

The problem with Marks' advice is obvious: if escaping poverty was as simple as downloading a few apps, there wouldn't be any poor people left. If you're worried about keeping a roof over your head, getting WiFi is probably the least of your concerns. If your school seldom has heat and working bathroom, let alone capable instructors, getting grades good enough to skate off to a posh private school isn't happening. School choice is great if you happen to win the choice lottery, but well, it's a lottery, which means far more families lose than win. Let's not even get started on bigger structural, societal, and familial issues that can drag down even the most optimistic self-starter.

The sad thing is, the article's best suggestion gets lost in the "I know what's best for you, even if I don't know anything about you" premise of the whole post. Black kids should indeed learn how to write code, design websites, and develop apps. This is where jobs are going to be in the future, not in manufacturing, and certainly not in anything even remotely government related. Of course, most urban schools don't have the resources to support these sorts of programs. A better use of Mr. Marks' lofty pedestal might have been to challenge companies and those in tech fields to invest time and money into developing and supporting such programs. You know, mentoring, aka: taking The AverageBro™ Challenge. As is, Marks' simply puts the challenge on the kids themselves to be resourceful. Again, if it were that simple...

Perhaps this whole article is easier to explain away with some context. Forbes "contributors" like Marks get paid by the page-click. Marks has a history of writing such bait, including a notable recent hit piece about Steve Jobs' death. This guy's goal is a agitate, all the name of the almightly dollar. So, essentially, anyone who bothered to argue with this brick wall has only made him richer in the process. Shame on me. Shame.

Nice try Mr. Marks, and nice try Forbes. Do better.

Question: If you were a poor black kid, how could/would you singlehandedly lift yourself from a life of despair and shiftlessness?!?

[1] I'm just making an assumption here. The tone of the piece (to me) seemed to have good intentions, as opposed to the typical conservative "pull yourself up by your bootstaps" blather. I could, again, be very wrong.

AB Grades The NBA Trades.

2011-12-16T00:15:00.001-05:00

Funny how things can change over the course of a month. Just a few weeks ago, I was cursing David Stern and the NBA's ludicrous millionaires vs billionaires pissing match. After the new labor deal was struck, camps opened, and an unprecedented flurry of trades and free agent moves, the NBA's preseason kicks off tonight as my Wizards host the 76ers.[1]

It goes without saying, but of course, all is forgiven.

It may seem like an exaggeration, but it seems like at least 1/3 of the league's players have changed places this offseason. I personally can't keep up with all this stuff, and I'm a diehard fan. Lots of free agents are still out there, so it's possible dozens of additional players won't land anywhere until opening (Christmas) night. But since we have nothing better to do today (sorry, I'm not touching this budget nonsense in DC, or those increasingly wacky GOP debates. All done.) why not break down a few of the most notable player moves?

Chris Paul Goes To Hollywood - I've been the both Lakers and Clippers games. The difference is startling. The Clips have always been more of the "working man's" team (read: Mexicans), mostly by virtue of having tickets that go for half those of the Lakers. I still found the Clippers fans to be a lot more knowledgeable and focused on the game, regardless of outcome. Lakers fans personify "see and be seen". At both Staples' Center and The Great Western Forum, I've witnessed crowds so disengaged and disinterested, you'd swear you'd somehow stumbled into a mortuary. For a franchise so storied, so successful, it was kinda weird, but hey, winning eventually gets boring too. Clipper fans, assuming they can still afford tickets after the team's jacked prices through the roof, will surely relish the prospect of being LA's better team this year, and with Paul, Blake Griffin, Chauncey Billups, and Caron Butler, it's possible. Still, I think at some point they'll regret giving up Eric Gordon. Badly. And need I remind you, these are still The Freakin' LA Clippers. ~~Calvin~~ Murphy's Law Of Basketball still applies.

What The Hell At The Lakers Doing?!? - First they were trading for CP3. Then Dwight Howard. Then they inexplicably gave Lamar Kardashian to a heated conference rival for a bag of Utz. Meanwhile, the team's core is just getting older and older, there's still no point guard, depth is questionable, and some guy named Metta World Peace will be jacking up 3 pointers all season. I'm not predicting a total meltdown, but this squad might find itself opening the playoffs on the road. Possibly at Staples Center.[2]

The Knicks Finally Get Their Big Man - I didn't think New York had the cap room to make any moves, but they cut the aforementioned Billups and landed prize free agent big man Tyson Chandler. How can I put this nicely? This is going to end badly. Bad. Ly. Chandler isn't the most durable of big men, so it wouldn't shock anyone to see him go down and miss his customary 30+ games this year. To get him, the Knicks gave up their only proven PG, and dropped some valuable reserves. There's absolutely nobody behind Stoudemire and Chandler, two young guards will be manning the backcourt, and D'Antoni's plan to fix it all is to put the ball in Melo's hand and have him initiate the offense. Am I really the only one that sees this trainwreck in motion?!?

Superman Is Grounded - I would feel bad for Dwight Howard if I had half a heart for a division rival. I don't. As-is, Howard seems likely to just play out his contract in Orlando and hit the free agent market next Summer, at which time I will become Dwight Howard's biggest fan if he signs in DC. Of course this won't happen, and neither will the Magic make the playoffs this year. If that sounds a bit too bold a prediction to you, consider Howard's running mates (awful), coach (lame duck), and GM (very lame duck). Combine this with a sulking star player who'd rather be elsewhere, and you have the recipe for a .400 season.

The Best Signing Of The Summer - David West to the Pacers. West (assuming he's healthy) is exactly what the upstart Pacers need. The guy can put up 16/7 in his sleep, will play well off Roy Hibbert, and make life much easier for Danny Granger. I'm still not really sold on Darren Collison at the point, but mark my words, Paul George is going to have a breakout year. This team is still too boring to watch on League Pass (just being honest), but I see the makings of a 50 win squad.[3]

Heat Check - While a few other Eastern Conference teams made moves to improve, Miami has essentially stood pat, still leaving their gaping holes at PG and C unaddressed. Signing Shane Battier just smacks of duplication. Where exactly is he going to play, given how many minutes Bron and D-Wade already take up? I'll make a not-so-wild prediction, and say the Heat don't return to the NBA Finals this year. Tying up your cap with 3 max-salaried players doesn't leave much room for tinkering around the edges.

A Few Teams Will Really Suck. Perhaps Historically. - I don't see how the Bobcats or Hornets break 10 wins this year. Combined. If that seems a bit bleak, it probably is, but if there are two teams that really need to be relocated, these would be my pick. I don't see Toronto being much better.

My Early (aka: extremely premature) Predictions...

Rookie Of The Year - Derrick Williams
MVP - Dirk Nowitzki
NBA Champion - San Antonio Spurs (yeah, really)
NBA League Pass "Must Stay Up Till Midnight And Watch" Champions - Clippers
NBA League Pass "Probably Terrible, But Intriguing Anyway" Champion - Minnesota Timberwolves
Player Most Likely To Become A Household Name - John Wall

Question: What was the most impressive offseason move in your opinion? Any predictions for the season?

[1] No, I won't be there, nor at Verizon Center very often this year. My buddies and I all decided to either not renew, or cancel our ticket packages very a variety of different reasons. Still a fan, just not (necessarily) a paying one. This season.

[2] Do the math.

[3] In a regular 82 game season, of course.

AB.com Open Mic Thursday.

2011-12-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

On the road (again!). Hey, it's Q4 and deals need to be closed, because Montessori school doesn't pay for itself. Sorry. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

AverageNation™ Obama Approval Rating - December 2011.

2011-12-13T16:56:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's AverageNation™ Obama Approval Rating Poll time yet again. Try saying that 5 times!
This is probably one of Obama's lowest showing in our poll to date. No need to lie, I was originally supposed to run this every quarter, but well, this is a black owned and operated website. Typical CPT rules apply.

Eventually I'll get around to compiling the 3 years of poll results into a nifty graph, but much like other approval ratings, our general trend has been downward. Going into an election year, I'm wondering what ya'll need too see from The Prez, and what he specifically needs to do to get re-elected. Chime in below.

Question: Did you Approve of Obama's job performance or Not? Why?

AB.com Open Mic Tuesday.

2011-12-13T10:01:00.002-05:00

Long weekend, longer week ahead as I try and wrap up end of fiscal year stuff on The Day Job. Activity may be light this week, so entertain yourselves. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

And The AB.com Burn Notice Sweepstakes Winner Is....

2011-12-13T09:55:00.004-05:00

...K_Jones601 from Hattiesburg, MS. Congrats K_Jones, your Burn Notice prize pack is on the way. And thanks to you guys for the 100+ entries. I had no idea AverageNation™ were such big fans of Burn Notice but there's a great chance most of the entries were directed to the contest from some other site.

Anyways, props to USA Network and 360i for the gift bag.

Name That Sample - "I'm Ready".

2011-12-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This mostly forgettable 80's song by Kano has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Easy as pie.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "I'm Ready" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

AB.com Hot Topics 12.12.11

2011-12-12T09:37:00.003-05:00

Hey, it's 12.12 today! Cool, huh? Here's the daily rundown, with headlines taken from links you sent in/suggested.

GOP Debate Shenanigans - Okay, no need to lie, I started tuning these out after the 342nd one back in October. But this weekend's debate apparently had some rapid fire back and forth between heated rivals. Speaking of which...

Peterson/Khan. - For those of you who think the sport of boxing is rigged, this bout probably didn't exactly improve your perception. Seriously, I was rooting for Peterson myself. Once-homeless DC kid, gets title shot in hometown versus greatly favored foreign opponent. It was a storybook ending that wrote itself. Unfortunately, Khan got dinged for two very questionable pushes, the judges made did some iffy scoring, and Peterson ends up winning a much-disputed title. Good for DC, but not exactly good for the sport.

NBA Trade Shenanigans - I didn't think the Chris Paul/Lakers trade either, but don't think the league should have vetoed it. Now, poor Paul is probably headed to the Clippers, a punchline that just writes itself.

Obama/60 Minutes- I didn't watch it, did you?

Cannibus-J. Cole Diss - How random.

Question: What do you think about these issues?

AB.com Open Mic Friday

2011-12-09T00:34:00.000-05:00

(No Longer All That) Fat Joe Speaks On Dramatic Weight Loss.

2011-12-08T19:35:00.003-05:00

No need to lie, I think this dude prolly did gastric bypass, but I'm just glad to see him still alive.

Drop a gem on em', Joey Crack.

Do We Really Need A Payroll Tax Extension?!?

2011-12-08T00:12:00.002-05:00

Nobody likes paying taxes. I've yet to meet a person who wouldn't want to bring home more of their check. Unfortunately, stuff has to get paid for somehow. If you love paved roads, police protection, and libraries, you just grin and bear it.

Oddly, when the Congress' sole focus should be on creating more jobs, we're on the cusp of a Presidential election season and the somewhat (un)related issue of taxes is front and center yet again.

Republican Party that has for decades benefited from a commitment to lower taxes is now finding itself on the defensive on the issue, as members face a deep split over a Democratic plan to extend a payroll tax reduction.

What might normally be a no-brainer for most congressional Republicans is being resisted by many tea-party-conscious members who oppose what they consider a short-term gimmick that would worsen the federal deficit and siphon money from Social Security.

Republican leaders fear that the party, which has spent the past year fighting Democrats’ proposals to raise taxes on the wealthy, cannot now allow the payroll tax to increase without handing Democrats a powerful election-year argument that the GOP supports lower taxes only for the rich.

House Republicans will hold a closed-door meeting Wednesday to discuss what to do. After suggesting that they might vote on a GOP-sponsored proposal this week, Republicans now plan to keep debating the issue in the coming days and are unlikely to vote until next week.

Republican leaders say they want to find a compromise with Democrats that would keep the payroll tax rate at 4.2 percent next year, rather than allowing it to revert to 6.2 percent — but they reject a Democratic plan to charge a surtax on people who make more than $1 million a year to pay for the tax cut.

Democrats have proposed lowering the tax even further, to 3.1 percent, saying that the more workers keep and spend, the better it is for the economy.

At that rate, the average family would pay $1,500 less than it would at the 6.2 percent rate, at a cost of $185 billion. If the rate remains at 4.2 percent, the average family will continue to save $1,000 per year.

House leaders are hoping to entice conservative support by packaging the payroll tax extension with other priorities, such as a provision that would make it more likely that construction would begin soon on a controversial oil pipeline from Canada to the Gulf Coast.

I'm gonna call BS on both sides here. Honestly, if the deficit situation is as dire as everyone says it is, then nobody should be getting a tax cut right now. A tax hike across the board, would actually make more logical sense. It wouldn't be easy to swallow, but it would be the right thing to do. Sure, tax the rich at an even higher rate, but make everyone pay more so the pain is shared universally. Again, if we're in as deep a hole as the Tea Party says, everyone should indeed be on the hook. Of course, this isn't the politically expedient thing to do, which also leads me to believe the deficit issue isn't nearly as dire as those in power say it is. How come there's no serious discussion about severely cutting the money wasted on defense contractors each year?

The Democrats are indeed waging class warfare here, all in the name of creating an election year talking point. Instead of keeping the payroll tax rate steady, they want to lower it even more. Sure, this would help me personally, but it's somewhat dishonest and unnecessary. Just keep the rate as-is. Paying for this cut by taxing the rich is obviously a ploy to piggyback on some of the Occupy Wall Street momentum and translate it into enthusiasm in the voting booth.

The GOP is also waging their own version of class warfare, it just happens to be of a far more nauseating variety. In a sense, they're doing the very thing they always accuse Democrats of doing: wanting something but not wanting to pay for it. Giving that payroll tax cut to the middle class is going to cost a lot of money (in lost tax revenue) and that money's only going to add to the deficit unless there are corresponding cuts in spending elsewhere. It does indeed make complete logical sense to offset this by asking those least vulnerable during this recession (aka: the rich, who have only gotten richer) to pay. No, it isn't "fair", but it does make sense. By threatening to essentially raise taxes on the working class in order to avoid raising taxes on the wealthy, the GOP is playing right into Obama's hands. I'm sorta shocked they don't see this, but then again, foresight isn't a quality often associates with the Republican Party circa 2011. Just look at the bozos they're running against Obama.

In the end, I think how much/little President Obama is involved in getting this resolved will be quite telling. If he has learned his lessons from the past, he'll make getting this handled his number one priority between now and Dec 31st. He won't delegate this to Pelosi and Co. He will be visible and audible in his leadership. He won't leave for his annual 17 day (!!!) Hawaiian vacation until this is done. He will not compromise by allowing the rich to get off scott free. He will demand this be paid for in full by imposing some reasonable surcharge on the rich that covers the cost of the cuts for the middle class. He will not allow this to go to the 11th hour, just as last year's tax cuts/debt ceiling debates played out. He will (for once, damnit!) be the leader we all thought we elected in 08'.

Maybe "compromise" means keeping the payroll tax at the current 4.2% rate instead of cutting it further. And he sure as hell better not allow something like an oil pipeline that won't create any jobs anytime soon to be the deciding factor. That's classic GOP maneuvering, and Obama should certainly be smarter by now. Call this nonsense out, and don't cave in.

We'll see what happens.

Question: Should payroll taxes be cut further, stay at the same rate, or raised? Should these be paid for by taxing the rich? Is this a winning election year strategy for the GOP or the Democrats? What sort of leadership do you need to see from President Obama as this plays out?!?

Should A Woman With 15 (!!!) Kids Be Evicted?!?

2011-12-07T00:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, you know the routine by now. Sometimes I ~~rhyme slow and sometimes I rhyme quick~~ give my spin on stories, and sometimes I just roll em' out there for you to dissect, sans my patented brand of snark and Negro Nonsense. Today, would be the latter.

Watch this video, and go in. It's a compilation of a few news stories, so you might have to watch the whole 10 mins to get the full context before commenting. Got it? Good.

I'm sure this convo could probably take a million and one different directions, so I simply ask that you all keep it respectful. I will police the comment threads if I have to. Consider yourselves forewarned. You don't wanna face the wrath of sheriff AB.

Okay, chime in below.

Question: What, if anything, did you take away from this video?!?

* Hat tip (as usual) to Bol.

Enter The AB.com Burn Notice Sweepstakes!!!

2011-12-06T15:23:00.005-05:00

This contest is now closed.

While I'm a big fan of USA's Suits, Burn Notice is actually a better show in many respects. If you love the hit show as much as I do, you'll love our latest AB.com giveaway.

The fine folks at USA Network and 360i are giving away an awesome Burn Notice prize pack to one special AB.com reader. The prize pack includes:

* Custom Tote Bag
* Season 4 DVD
* Bar Set
* Mojitos 101 Book
* Burn Notice T-Shirt
* Burn Notice Hat

All you have to do to enter is shoot me an email telling me why you're Burn Notice's biggest fan. No entries in the comments section, please!

The winner will be announced here next week.

Burn Notice airs Thursdays at 10pm Eastern on USA Network.

Why Would A Black Man Wanna Fly A Confederate Flag?!?

2011-12-06T00:07:00.003-05:00

Okay, since you asked for it...

Byron Thomas is 19, black, a freshman at the University of South Carolina Beaufort and a proud Southerner. He hung a Confederate flag in his dorm room window until the university asked him to take it down because several people had complained about it. (The university later stepped back from the request, saying all students have the right to free speech.)

"I know it's kinda weird because I'm black," Thomas said in a CNN iReport he submitted. "When I look at this flag, I just don't see racism. I see pride, respect. Southern pride, that's what I see."

"Ignorance gave that flag a bad name, ignorant people like the KKK," he told CNN's Don Lemon.

The post got other iReporters talking, including Omekongo Dbinga, who said Thomas has the right to fly the flag, but there's no denying the flag's history. Egberto Willies said he doesn't understand Thomas' view of the Confederacy, but he thinks the North and South both have ugly histories with race relations.

Thomas said he won't put the flag back up, although he believes he has the right to do so. The university plans to host a discussion about the flag after students return from winter break.

Here's the video.

I'll refrain from sharing my comments here. I'd much rather hear yours.

Question: Is this Negro out of his mind, or is he simply displaying pride in his Southern heritage?!?

Name That Sample - "I Like What You're Doing To Me".

2011-12-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This mostly forgettable 80's song by Young And Company has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Hard.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "I Like What You're Doing To Me" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

AB.com Guest Post - The Day The Cooning Died: Herman Cain “Suspends” Presidential Campaign.

2011-12-05T08:52:00.004-05:00

[Editor's Note: I too saw Herman Cain's disgraceful exit from the candidacy in real time Saturday, but then I clicked back over to the UNC/Kentucky game and totally forgot about writing a post about it. Thankfully, my cyber homie RiPPA did. Here are his thoughts, which are pretty much my thoughts as well. As usual, show our guest some love, you-know-where.]

So it was with great anticipation that I awaited Herman Cain’s big announcement today. Not that I supported him, his platform, or anything he had rto say. Instead, the blog author in me wanted to see if this most recent gift from the political comedy Gods would fade to Black. Would he stay? Would he leave? Would he join the Miami Heat? These were all the thoughts twirling around in my head. I figured as much as he loved the media attention, there was no way that he would drop out of the race. Let’s face it, Herman Cain is like Sarah Palin with a penis; the more face time they get on camera, the more money they make. Sure they say that their aspirations are fueled in the interest of we the people. But I’m sorry, ain’t n’aan one of them fools ever paid a bill in my household. Instead, in their infinite narcissism their’s no such thing as bad press, if it makes you money.

As the time drew closer, I wondered if Herman Cain would disappoint me by actually dropping out. Sure his campaign was now all but in full Rigor mortis since Ginger White announced their thirteen year affair. An affair which saw the exchange of money all unknown to Mrs. Gloria Cain, the wife of my latest political humorist motivation. An affair within which Cain has denied any sexual improprieties. I suppose one can conclude that it was strictly platonic, and Ginger wasn’t one to be doing something strange for a lil’ piece of change. But after all the hype of all the speakers and prayer leading up to Cain’s appearance all with the carefully planned embrace of wife Gloria in tow. Herman Cain did what I feared: he dropped out. Then again, maybe he’ll be back. He did after all “suspend” his campaign, no? Maybe that’s me not wanting to see him go; he can come back, no?

So what did Hermsan Cain do today? Well, aside from suspending his campaign, and setting Black folks back seventy five years when it comes to politics, he failed. He failed to convince anyone that he was indeed serious about running for president. He failed to shake all accusations that he was in it to sell books and make money by promoting his so-called Plan B of setting up a website to solicit donations. Donations from the very people who he successfully tricked into believing that he was the real deal. Let’s be honest: Herman Cain took a lot of money from white folks and ran. And even in the end, as his arrogance became a bit too overbearing for Black folks like myself. He reminded everyone that he was Black by referencing an era of segregation he grew up in. An era which he most recently proudly described himself to be a bystander who proudly sat on the sidelines, while others toiled. Yes Herman Cain has made many mistakes as he said in his speech today.

The ultimate mistake he made, however, was not a thirteen year affair with a woman outside of his marriage. That wasn’t a mistake, that was a choice. His mistake however, was thinking that he would be able to to continue lying and gaining favor with the very people who supported him. But then again, that might not be a mistake because they are in fact who they are. Just like Herman, they’re ideologically bankrupt, and as he has shown, they tend to place a premium on ignorance. That being said, you can best believe there’ll be no more Herman Cains coming forth to represent the GOP in politics on a national stage. I could be wrong, but the antics of Mr. Cain, in my opinion, has made it harder for members of the Black Republican fold to ever be trusted. But then again, even they may be of the opinion that what happened to Cain was indeed the result of Liberal racist attacks meant to destroy the character of a Black man who happens to be a Republican. The funny thing, is that let them tell it, racism is dead. However, the racist Liberal media is alive and well.

Sorry Herman, you can blame the media, you can blame it on racism, but at the end of the day, you have nobody to blame but yourself. As bad as I hate to see Herman go, as a Black man, I am relieved to know that we will no longer be witness to his cooning, and the shucking and jiving Minstrel we have known him to be.; and that he has become. He can say that his string of allegations has been painful for his family, and this might be true.

But the existence of the Herman Cain campaign as it were, was a big insult to the intelligence and aspirations of Black folks across America. You can cite all his accomplishments in life if you like, but life was a lot better for us all before this clown came into our lives. And here’s to hoping nobody gives him a Reality TV show. Lord knows I can’t handle him or Eddie Long getting one called, “Pimpin’, Preachers, & Politicians: The Lyin’-Ass Negro Show”.

If you feel like watching the 10lb bag of fail that is his drop out speech, catch it below. Good bye Mr. Cain, and I wish you and yours well. It was fun while it lasted, but thankfully, the foolishness has come to an end. It’s just too bad that your dropping out had nothing to do with the idea that someone not wanting to see you become president. No seriously, nobody really thought you would have won the nomination, much less become president. C’mon, Herman; even you knew it .

For me, I would have rather seen you exit stage left upon the realization that America finally understood you to be the idiot that you are politically. Instead, you go out for being an arrogant buffoon without any game or ability to pull the ladies; as well as, being an “alleged: serial sexual harasser, and thirteen year trick daddy juiced by a white woman. But I understand: when it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Heaven forbid if a mulatto child who repeats the phrase 9-9-9 should surface any day now asking why you weren’t at his birthday party with the black walnut ice cream. If character is what’s seen when nobody is looking; unfortunately for Herman Cain, we’ve seen enough. And sadly depending on how you l;ook at it, we know just who he is.

Question: What's next for Daddy Green? Is the joke actually on us (and his wife)?!? Was his "Plan B" actually his "Plan A" all along? Is it somewhat ironic that by "suspending" his campaign, he can use your hardearned taxpayer dollars to help pay off his campaign debt?!?

AB.com Open Mic Monday

2011-12-05T00:03:00.000-05:00

AB.com Hot Topics 12.2.11

2011-12-02T09:16:00.004-05:00

Here's the daily rundown, with headlines taken from links you sent in/suggested.

US Unemployment Rate Drops To 8.6% - The devil, it obviously in the details here. Fewer people looking + 120k new jobs + revisions of prior months = drop. Still, most people will only see the final number, which is the first time we've been below 9% since I can personally remember. While this obviously bodes well for the White House and the President's re-election bid next year, it's hardly an indication that we're out of the woods. Sidenote: if state and local governments weren't busy laying off so many workers over the past 3 years, the rate would probably be in the low 7's. Is this reason enough for another costly stimulus? Probably not, but you could also argue that without the first one, we might still be in the 10's. Soooooo....

Newt Just Can't Help Himself. - I'm just as puzzled at Gingrich's rise atop the polls as everyone else. Sure, the Cain Train Derailment, and Rick Perry "going Rick Perry" probably contributed to it more than Newt himself, but still. If "douchebag" was in the encyclopedia, a photo of this megalomaniac would surely be somewhere on the page. Yesterday, in explaining his rationale for using child labor to fix urban poverty, he dropped this gem. "Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and nobody around them who works to earn money — unless it's illegal". Seriously, is this the guy we want anywhere near 1600 Penn Ave? And BTW Tea Partiers, are you seriously getting behind a guy who was King Of All Lobbyists and made millions off defending Fannie and Freddie? Really? Because if so, I'm sorry, you officially have no principles. Other than getting Obama out of office, of course.

The Eagles Are Toast- Hey Philly fans, how does it feel? You followed the Dan Snyder Plan For "Winning The Offseason" and now you won't have a postseason, as your playoff hopes officially croaked last night in Seattle. Andy Reid, it's been real, my man.

Question: What do you think about these issues?

The Most Hilarious 20 Minutes Of Cable News You'll Watch This Year.

2011-12-02T00:16:00.000-05:00

Wow, give it to this guy, he's got some brass balls, that's for damn sure. I guess I should also give Neil Cavuto credit for not tossing a bunch of softballs at Cain, but he probably could have followed up on some questions a bit more. Then again, who am I kidding? Cain's going to be his co-worker in a few months, so why bother with the agitation.

I'll be honest though, White's story isn't adding all the way up. There's no way you spend a decade of your life getting smanged by someone on the regular, and have no proof other than a couple of cell phone bills. Where are the bank statements? The vacation photos? The inevitably disgusting VHS tape of them gettin' busy? I'm just sayin', she doesn't have anything but a Verizon bill, after 13 years with a man? Really?

Sorry, sista girl. We don't (quite) believe you. You need more people. Where are the receipts!

As for Cain, I'm not sure what he's still doing in the race. He says he's most concerned about his wife/family, yet he's still shilling for campaign donations by painting himself (yet again!) as the victim of a left-wing swear campaign. If his family is his biggest concern, why the heck isn't he at home with them right now, explaining his a$$ off?!?

Negro, please!

Does he really think President Obama is scared of facing him, and thus he needed to be "destroyed"? Really? I didn't realize Herman Cain was so delusional, but Herman Cain apparently is just that delusional because Herman Cain refers to himself in the 3rd person even more often than Herman Cain does.

Go sit down. Please.

Question: What's up with Cain's accusations of a left wing conspiracy? Does his logic for explaining away those 4am text messages make any sense at all? Why is he still running?!?

WorkPlace 101: Legal Side-Hustles.

2011-12-01T00:02:00.003-05:00

"Children grow, some women produce, Some men they work, and some steal. Everybody's got to make a livin'."[1]

Unless you have a sugar daddy like Herman Cain, or are a repeat guest on Maury[2], there's a good chance you've got to wake up every morning, and head off to somebody's job. Despite what anti-Obamabots would like to suggest, we still do live in a capitalist society, which means you've gotta earn money to keep a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and pay for NBA League Pass. Everybody's got to make a living. Ain't no way around it.

Of course, in this economic recession, there are fewer jobs to go around. The government officially says about 9% of us are unemployed, although you could certainly argue that the actual number is probably twice that. Some of these people are getting unemployment benefits, but many have seen their benefits expire. Thanks GOP.

I consider myself a prideful and resourceful man. I work hard on my Day Job, and pray every morning that I get to keep my gig, in spite of how bad the economy gets. Should something happen though, I have a handful of ways to make money and feed my family until I find another Day Job, without having to take penitentiary chances.

This blog makes money, although obviously not enough to feed a family of four. I would/could also teach French lessons[3], tutor kids for money instead of free, do yardwork, paint houses, do basic electrical repairs, design websites, wash and detail cars, design club flyers, do photography/videography, pickup freelance writing gigs, and cut hair if the need arose. While I think college is great because it opens doors to great career opportunities, any man worth his Lawry's has gotta have a hustle on the side. It's all about survival.[4]

I can't say there's any particular reason for asking, but I'm wondering what you guys would do/have done to make ends meet should The Big Check™ stop coming.

Question: Got any legal side hustles?

[1] Cyber CapriSuns to the first person so can tell me the origin of the quote above.

[2] Think about it.

[3] Oui, vraiment.

[4] Yes, I would also collect unemployment. And yes, I'd use the technical skills developed on my Day Job to do contract work.

5 Play Thursday - Five Songs Herman Cain Can Sing To Make Voters Forget These Latest Allegations.

2011-11-30T00:44:00.000-05:00

There's a great chance Herman Cain drops out of the race any moment now, which would make this post utterly pointless. But hey, assuming he does stay in, he's gonna need to somehow win back the support of all those Real Americans who have jumped off the Cain Train in the wake of myriad allegations of sexual impropriety. He's sorta made a name of sangin' gospel songs (by request!) on the campaign trail, which I suppose was part of this appeal in the first place. So what better time to spontaneously bust out into song now?

This very special edition of 3 Play Thursday provides a few very timely and very appropriate suggestions:

Shaggy - "It Wasn't Me!"

When it doubt, deny, deny, deny. Cain's defense to this point have been to accuse every one of his accusers of lying. Why stop now? Sure, I have faux dancehall just as much as you, but this song gets played on cruise ships, so there's a good chance Real Americans will know it, cause Real Americans love cruises.

Shirley Murdock - "As We Lay"

Since these latest allegations actually appear to have some corroborating evidence, the "deny deny deny" tactic might now work. Why not belt out this classic R&B tune about the allure, and consequences of having an affair? This is a pretty challenging song to master, but Cain's an ordained minister, and actually can sang. Plus, he's old, so there's a good chance he knows this song by heart.

TS Monk - "Can't Keep My Hands To Myself"

Claiming you fell prey to forces far larger than your own power is a good way to excuse bad behavior. Look how many people have blamed their indiscretions on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol? You can claim you're a serial groper whose disease simply hasn't been diagnosed yet. It's sorta "blame the victimy", sure, but it also casts you as a victim. And if there's anything the GOP loves lately, it's people who play the victim role. Personal responsibility, shmersonal shermonsibility. Bonus Suggestion: you can even claim that ObamaCare prevented your ailment from being properly diagnosed. #winning

E-40 - "Captain Save A Pro"

Cain claims he was just helping out a friend in dire financial straits. For the better part of a decade. That's not financial assistance. That's called "savin' em'". This song will help explain that whole concept, Herm.

Quad City DJ's - "Come On Ride That Train"

I'm still unsure why this isn't already Cain's official campaign song. It should be. Assuming he stays, this must happen. This needs to happen. It's also a popular song at football games and Real Americans love football. Just drop the track, and stand back. Soon as they hear that "whoot whoot", they'll be back on your side.

Question: Got any tunes you might recommend for Herman Cain's comeback playlist?!?

Rest In Peace Patrice O'Neal.

2011-11-29T16:07:00.003-05:00

Comedy lost one of it's legends today. I realize how silly it sounds to refer to a 41 year old man as a legend, but seriously, as a connoisseur of standup comedians, this guy was that good.

Patrice O'Neal, a fixture in the New York comedy scene for two decades who was most recently seen in the Comedy Central Roast Of Charlie Sheen, has passed away according to sources close to the comedian.

Talk show host Opie of the Opie & Anthony Radio Show tweeted this morning, "Yes, it's true that our pal Patrice O'Neal has passed away. The funniest and best thinker I've ever known PERIOD."

O'Neal suffered a stroke in October after a long battle with diabetes. The announcement about his condition was made by a group of his comedian friends and peers on the popular Sirius radio show, but few details have been made known since then at the wishes of his family.

I only saw him in person a few times, but his ability to just wing it and do an entire set off the top of his head is pretty much unrivaled. Hilarious and unique takes on regular everyday subjects were his staple.

Rest in peace, Patrice.

The Herman Cain Train Is (Finally) Derailed.

2011-11-29T09:16:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, when Herman Cain was ridin' high atop the GOP polls, I predicted a swift, disgraceful, and very public downfall was just around the corner. Even then, Cain's sense of nausea inducing pride and willingful ignorance with basic questions of national security told me he'd fall, and fall hard. Sure enough, GropeGate™ did the job, and Cain's quickly fallen back to the middle of the pack in most polls. I still don't really understand why he was even atop the polls for any period of time in the first place, but hey, I'm not a Real American. I'm prolly brainwashed too.

In an a textbook instance of "piling on after the whistle", yet another woman has come forth claiming she took a ride on The Cain Train, but this time, the feeling was apparently mutual.

An Atlanta woman said Monday that she engaged in an extended consensual affair with Herman Cain that began after a business meeting in the 1990s, continued as he flew her from city to city for dates and ended eight months ago — as Cain launched his presidential campaign.

In an interview with Fox News in Atlanta, Ginger White offered details of what she said was a 13-year relationship with Cain, sharing cellphone records that showed repeated calls and text messages from a number she said belongs to the presidential contender.

Cain denied the accusations. In an interview that aired before White’s allegations were broadcast, Cain told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that he knows White and that the two had been friends but that there had been no sexual contact and no “affair.” He characterized their relationship as “trying to help a friend” because of her “not having a job etcetera and this sort of thing.”

White did not respond to phone calls and e-mails Monday night. She said in the television interview that she met Cain in the late ’90s at a meeting in Louisville, when he was president of the restaurant association. They had drinks, she said, and he invited her to his hotel room, where he pulled out a calendar and suggested that she meet him in Palm Springs, Calif.

White, who has worked as a fitness instructor, has been embroiled in conflicts that have led to court intervention. According to Georgia court records, she faced civil actions for nonpayment of rent. A former business partner, Kimberly Vay, sued White this year after a dispute that began when White wrote disparaging comments about Vay in a mass e-mail — comments that White recanted four months later as part of a legal settlement.

The Fox affiliate described White as an unemployed, single mother of two.

The Cain campaign was alerted to the accusation by the television reporter, who had interviewed White over the weekend. White gave the reporter Cain’s private cellphone number — which appeared 61 times on her phone records over four months. When the reporter sent a text message to the number, Cain called back and said he knew White but had not had an affair with her.

On Monday, the candidate’s denial of the affair differed from a statement issued by his attorney, which said Cain has no obligation to answer questions about it.

Cain said repeatedly that there was no truth to White’s allegations of having stayed with him at the Ritz-Carlton in Atlanta’s Buckhead neighborhood or elsewhere. “We chased all of these other rumors for two weeks before, and as it turned out they were baseless . . . so we will address these when they come out. But at this point, I want to give you a heads-up. I don’t have anything to hide,” Cain said on CNN.

He said that he does not plan to drop out of the race but that his wife would have the final say.

Look, you can deny lots of things. He said/she said stories from a decade ago are one thing. Text messages at 4am just two months ago is quite another. There's really no way Cain can explain his way outta this one. He says he was trying to "help a friend" who had some financial trouble. If "helping a friend" means financially supporting a woman who has been mostly unemployed for the past decade, I'd say she's a lot more than a friend, Herm.

BTW, Herman, please fire your lawyer. That statement he issued was the classic non-denial denial, and contradicts everything you said on CNN. Fire him now.

BTW, ladies, 13 years isn't an affair. It's polygamy. Moving right along...

I'm not gonna paint Ms. White as a victim here. She willingly laid down with a married man and did the horizontal Dougie for 13 years. There's nothing admirable about being a kept chick on the side. Thankfully, she isn't being extra boastful with hers, and there's no Gloria Allred. But them "I'm pure" pearls she's wearing around her neck.... no m'aam.

I suspect Cain will announce the end of his campaign by week's end. There's no way his wife was aware that he was getting his Kwame Kilpatrick on as recently as a couple of months ago. The Cain Train has some explainin' to do, and boy, would I hate to be in that guy's shoes right now. He, at one point, represented the GOP's high hopes for reaching out to minorities. Now, he's just another unemployed black man who cheats on his wife. Lovely.

Thanks for the ride, Daddy Green, it's been real.

Question: Will Herman Cain step down after these salacious allegations? Do you think his wife was aware of Ms. White? How can Conservatives morally pillage Cain for this, yet vote for Newt Gingrich, who has essentially done the same thing?

Name That Sample - "Over Like A Fat Rat".

2011-11-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This mostly forgettable 80's song by Fonda Rae has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Moderate.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Over Like A Fat Rat" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

AB.com Hot Topics - 11.28.11

2011-11-28T09:45:00.004-05:00

Here's the daily rundown, with headlines taken from links you sent in/suggested.

The NBA Lockout Is Finally Over!!! - Okay, who was I kidding? I'll be back. Trying to watch hockey and college basketball to fill the void wasn't working. #LetUsPlay

Michelle Bachmann vs The Roots - I thought Jimmy Fallon's house band did a grave disservice to themselves and Rep. Bachmann with that classless intro they gave her last week. Under no circumstances is it okay to refer to a woman as a "b*tch". Period.

That said, Bachmann is milking this one waaaay too much, angling for an apology from the President of NBC. She's now using this unfortunate incident as a political ploy. Which is in some ways, almost as nauseating as The Roots initial infraction.

Black Friday Fisticuffs - I've yet to truly comprehend why people get out of bed at 2am to go stand in line for hours, all just to save $15 off a blender, but 226M Americans opened their wallets on Black Friday, making this the biggest spending weekend of all time. Recession? What recession?!?

Question: What do you think about these issues?

The AB.com Thanksgiving Holiday Open Mic.

2011-11-23T10:19:00.002-05:00

The blog's on hiatus till Monday, unless something totally bloggable happens. Enjoy your holidays. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind?

Name That Sample - "Walking Into Sunshine".

2011-11-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This relatively obscure song by British funk band Central Line has been sampled numerous times, most notably in a corny but memorable early 90's rap song. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Easy as pie. My 3 year old could probably guess this one. No lie, I just included it because I'm on this Euro-funk R&B binge lately and this song's stuck in my head.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Walking Into Sunshine" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Nearly Half Of US Congressmen And Senators Are Millionaires. What's Wrong With This Picture?!?

2011-11-22T00:30:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, I wonder why folks bother running for elected office. The hours are long. You open your family up to incredible scrutiny. The money's good, but the job security isn't, especially if you're just a Congressman. And of course, the system's so unfixably broken, even the most starry eyed optimist can be quickly reduced to cynicism. You know, sorta like watching the Redskins play.

Still, each year, hundreds of Real Americans put their hats in the ring to gain one of only 530-some coveted gigs in DC. Some of them undoubtedly do it for the financial come-up (ie: TeaBagging douche extraordinaire Joe Walsh) while others are already caked up, and use the gig to influence legislation and ensure they'll get caked up even more. Meet the public servant's version of The 1%.

Forget Wall Street. With riches like these, “Occupy Congress” may make more sense.

That’s because 250 members of Congress — or 47 percent — have a net worth of more than $1 million, according to a new study by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics.

The study, which analyzed data from legislators’ financial disclosure forms, found the average senator had a net worth of about $2.63 million last year. That’s up 11 percent from $2.38 million in 2009 and 16 percent from $2.27 million in 2008.

“The vast majority of members of Congress are quite comfortable financially, while many of their own constituents suffer from economic hardships,” Sheila Krumholz, executive director of the Center for Responsive Politics, said in a statement.

Some have suggested the dizzying financial success enjoyed by members of Congress is about more than luck, or even good business sense. Peter Schweizer, a fellow with the conservative Hoover Institution, has said lawmakers profit from a kind of “insider trading” that might get them in trouble outside the halls of Congress.

“There are all sorts of forms of honest grafts that congressmen engage in that allow them to become very, very wealthy. So it’s not illegal, but I think it’s highly unethical, I think it’s highly offensive, and wrong,” Schweizer, the author of “Throw Them All Out,” a book accusing congressmen of using their influence and connections to make smart investments, said in an interview with CBS’ “60 Minutes” this month.

“For example, insider trading on the stock market,” he said. “If you are a member of Congress, those laws are deemed not to apply.”

Even without exact figures, however, it’s clear that as most Americans struggled in recent years, contending with high unemployment rates and plummeting home values, Congress has only gotten richer. Last year, the combined net worth of Congress skyrocketed to more than $2 billion — a 25 percent increase from 2008, according to a separate look at the lawmakers’ earnings from the Washington newspaper Roll Call.

Meanwhile, the average U.S. family lost 23 percent of its net worth between 2007 and 2009, according to figures released by the Federal Reserve this year.

That said, some members of Congress do considerably better than others. Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., topped the list with an estimated net worth of somewhere between $195 million and $700 million, for example, while Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Fla., is apparently the poorest member of Congress, with estimated total net debt of between $2 million and $7 million. According to the study, though, 110 Democrats and 140 Republicans in Congress are millionaires.

Look, I'd be the last person to discourage people from getting rich. It's sorta the American Dream and whatnot. Even if you're born into wealth, reality is, being rich sure as hell beats being late on your Verizon bill. I'd much rather own Verizon.

Still, it's not all that shocking that folks on Capitol Hill can drag their feet extending unemployment benefits, threaten to shutdown the government (although they'd still get paid if that happened), and basically hijack the entire legislative process to ensure rich people keep this Bush tax cuts. It's because most of them either have no point of reference to the day to day struggles of "Real Americans" or are so far removed that it doesn't really matter. It's why a Presidential candidate can actually suggest using child labor to solve the issue of inner city poverty with a straight face. If I was getting $30k/hour to serve as "historian" for Freddie and Fannie, I'd probably be equally clueless, Newt. It's alright, we understand. Sorta.

I think you'd find far more principled, effective people running for Congress if you made it a job with term limits (3 for the House, 1 for Senate) and greatly decreased the pay and perks. Maybe folks like Darrell Issa would find better things to do with their time. You know, like laying on a bed full of $700 million one dollar bills.

BTW, Alcee Hastings, how in the ham sammich did you rack up between $2M and $7M in debt?!? Please retire your dusty, broke ass right now and go call The Hulkster.

That commercial always kills me. Hulk's talkin' about "it's tough out there" while sitting in a 30 story condo overlooking Biscayne Bay. Yep, real tough out here, brother. Real tough.

Question: Is there an inherent conflict of interest when you're a multimillionaire holding elected office? Is it possible to understand "the little guy" when you've got the net worth of an NFL franchise?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

2011-11-21T00:53:00.004-05:00

Busy trying to clear the deck for the holidays, so new posts will prolly be light this week. Anyways, here's your open mic. Speak on it.

A few items of note...

Not-So-Super Committee - Obama's hand-picked band of problem solvers hit stalemate in debt reduction exercise, which will trigger billions in cuts across the board. Lovely.

Newt's Master Plan To Solve Negro Poverty - Fire union janitors and hire child labor to clean urban schools. No, seriously, that's the plan. To his credit, however, at least he does have a clearly outlined plan (despite its comical array of flaws) for combatting urban poverty. You can't quite say the same for a certain inhabitant of the White House.

FLOTUS Booed At NASCAR Event - Uh seriously, Real America, is this what its come to? Did Michelle-O do anything to deserve this?

And of course, she was there to support the families of wounded military vets. But that doesn't matter to the wingnuts, who think this sort of treatment is perfectly fine.

Redskins Choke Vs Cowboys - Wowzers, what a dreadful game. Could we have some NBA, please!

Question: What's on your mind today?

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Common's "Thug Rap" Song.

2011-11-18T09:44:00.003-05:00

I, like most hip hop heads, also used to love Common. No pause necessary. From his debut Can I Borrow A Dollar in the early 90's, dude was one of the purest emcees out, and a true guardian of "the culture". Along with The Roots, Mos Def, and Taalib Kweli, the artist formerly known as Common Sense was one of the few artists purists like me could site as a stock rebuttal when people talked about how cruddy cRap music was.

Fast forward a decade, and Common's now perhaps better known as a Hollywood B-lister who has starred in such movies as Date Night, Just Wright, and Terminator Salvation. Rap-wise, his career took a turn for the worse with the disastrous Electric Circus, but he's seen a revival of sorts in recent years after linking up with Kanye West. Musically, he's far from his "Soul By The Pound" roots nowadays, preferring to make cotton candy tunes that get sold in your nearest Starbucks. Oh yeah, and there was that comical White House episode, which we won't bother to go into here.

While his recent brush up with the Conservative press probably elevated Comm's Q-rating, it probably didn't help his ego to be defended so vigorously as one of the most non-threatening rappers this side of Young MC. And quicker than you can say "The B*tch In Yoo", Common's back with a new album and new "street single" called "So Sweet" in which he tries to convince you he's (still) Petey Wheatstraw From The Southside Of Chicago.

Boy, where do I begin? Look, I get it. You probably got tired of being labelled as the romantic comedy guy, and wanted to show folks you could still get hardcore if you needed. But this sh*t, well, this is just borderline comedy. Mean mugging in what's probably a $350 designer skullcap? Riding on the back and top of a garbage truck? Menacing dark skinned Caribbean "thugs"? Machetes? Seriously, dude?

While I'll admit I liked the not-so-subliminal Drake diss, all the wayward cursing was just a little too much. So was calling dude "Sweet", which is, well, a homosexual slur, and that doesn't go over too well in Hollyweird. I'm already counting the days until Common has to issue a tearful, Tracy Morgan-style apology. You just know it's coming.

Sorry folks, this is Ashy. Common, please stick to acting. Leave the fake thuggery to Rick Ross.

Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Is Common's attempt to go back to "the hood" a convincing acting gig, or is this downright Comm-ical?!?

WorkPlace 101: Is Your Boss A Bully?!?

2011-11-17T09:04:00.003-05:00

Chalk this one up in the "I Can't Relate" column. Cause I can't.

Bullying isn’t limited to colleges or even classroom. It happens everywhere. In fact, more adults are reporting being bullied at work.

Now, New York State is taking steps to help employees fight back, reports CBS 2’s Kristine Johnson.

Experts say an adult bully could be a boss, a manager and even a colleague, but their behavior isn’t much different from a bully in the school yard.

We hear about kids bullying each other all the time, but a new survey shows 1 in 6 adults are being bullied in the workplace.

“Verbal abuse, work sabotage, social and physical isolation,” said Mike Schlicht, co-coordinator for New York Healthy Workplace Advocates.

Schlicht said the bullying he endured at his job was so bad he dreaded going to work each day.

“The person does eventually get to the end of their capabilities to cope with the situation,” Schlicht said.

Maria Morrissey’s brother, Kevin, committed suicide last year after years of bullying at his job as an editor.

“He said ‘please tell everyone I’m sorry, but I simply can’t bear it anymore,’” Maria said. “Kevin put a bullet through his head because I think that he thought that he had no choice.”

Two other New Yorkers — Jodie Zebell and Marlene Braun — have taken their lives as a direct result of office bullying.

Experts say in this economy employees often fear retaliation, so they don’t speak up.

“We found that there was no resolution for workplace bullying,” Schlicht said.

Schlicht’s bullying advocacy group has even proposed legislation that would require employers to intervene in these situations.

If you feel you’re being targeted by a bully at work, experts say keep a log of your interactions and file a complaint with your human resources department.

In my 16 years as a professional, I can't say I've ever experienced anything I'd classify as "bullying". Maybe the occasional d-bag boss, or a co-worker who didn't know enough about personal boundaries, but honestly, that's about it. What about you?

Question: Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?!?

Should A 10 Year Old Girl Be Charged With A Felony?!?

2011-11-16T13:31:00.006-05:00

Scoot over, Latarian Milton! There's a new sheriff of pre-teen ratchetnes in The Sunshine State, and her name's Miesha Bryant.

A 10-year-old Florida girl is facing a felony charge for allegedly attacking her elementary school teacher and threatening the educator’s life. The assault, police report, was triggered when the teacher seized a bag of Halloween candy that the girl brought to class.

Fifth-grader Miesha Bryant was arrested last Tuesday after an Orange County Sheriff’s Office deputy was summoned to the girl’s classroom at Zellwood Elementary School. The child is pictured in the below mug shot.

According to a sheriff’s report, teacher Kelly Sanchez told investigators that she was holding the candy until the end of the day. At one point, Sanchez said, the girl “went behind her desk and took the bag of candy without her permission.” The child then began throwing pieces of candy at classmates, added Sanchez.

After Sanchez again confiscated the bag of candy, the girl “started throwing items” from the teacher’s desk. While Sanchez waited for a school resource officer to arrive, a deputy reported, Miesha struck the teacher in the stomach and side and “also stated that she would kill Ms. Sanchez and her family.”

The resource officer brought the girl to an assistant principal’s office. When a sheriff’s deputy later arrived at the Zellwood school, the 4’ tall, 80-pound Miesha was handcuffed and “being held down in a chair while she was screaming and flailing her legs around.” She was transported to a juvenile detention facility, where she was later released into her mother's custody.

In a TV interview, Sebrina Bryant said she was angered that Miesha was arrested for the incident, and did not believe her daughter would hit or threaten a teacher. But when a WFTV reporter asked the child why she threatened the teacher, the girl replied, “I was mad.”

The State Attorney's Office will soon decide whether Miesha will be prosecuted for battery (and a misdemeanor count of disrupting an educational institution) or whether she will be placed into a diversion program.

Here's the obligatory regional news story, courtesy of that bastion of Negro Nonsense, World Star Hip Hop.

Parents, we need to be honest about our kids and their capabilities. This mother is in serious denial. The kid's saying "she did it" all while Mom is saying "my baby wouldn't do that". Open up your eyes, Mom!

I, for one, am hoping this doesn't turn into another fullblown Jena Six/Troy Davis/Genarlow Wilson internets civil rights crusade. This little miscreant punched a teacher in the stomach, and she deserves whatever punishment the judicial system hands out.

Question: Does this child deserve a felony charge?!?

* Hat Tip to Bol.

AB.com Open Mic Tuesday.

2011-11-15T00:53:00.000-05:00

I'm in NYC today. Holla if you pass a brotha on the street. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Yo' Dad, Quit Playin' & Crank That Biggie, Sonn!!!

2011-11-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll admit, this is sorta funny.

No NBA Season.

2011-11-14T14:55:00.003-05:00

I could say so much about this, but given how sick I am at this latest development, it's probably best that I don't.

The NBA players rejected the league's latest offer Monday and have begun the process to disband the union.

The decision likely jeopardizes the season.

"We're prepared to file this antitrust action against the NBA," union executive director Billy Hunter said. "That's the best situation where players can get their due process."

He said players were not prepared to accept the NBA Commissioner David Stern's ultimatum, saying they thought it was "extremely unfair."

"This is the best decision for the players," union president Derek Fisher said. "I want to reiterate that point, that a lot of individual players have a lot of things personally at stake in terms of their careers and where they stand. And right now they feel it's important — we all feel it's important to all our players, not just the ones in this room, but our entire group — that we not only try to get a deal done for today but for the body of NBA players that will come into this league over the next decade and beyond."

Fisher, flanked at a press conference by dozens of players including Kobe Bryant and Carmelo Anthony, said the decision was unanimous.

Stern had urged players to take the deal on the table, saying it's the best the NBA can offer and warned that decertification is not a winning strategy.

Over the weekend, he also said he would not cancel the season this week.

Regardless, damage has already been done, in many ways.

Financially, both sides have lost hundreds of millions because of the games missed and the countless more that will be wiped out before play resumes. Team employees are losing money, and in some cases, jobs. And both the NBA and NBPA eventually must regain the loyalty of an angered fan base that wonders how the league reached this low point after such a strong 2010-11 season.

The proposal rejected by the players called for a 50-50 division of basketball-related income and proposed a 72-game season beginning Dec. 15.

The previous CBA expired at the end of the day June 30. Despite a series of meetings in June, there was never much hope of a deal before that deadline, with owners wanting significant changes after saying they lost $300 million last season and hundreds of millions more in each year of the old agreement, which was ratified in 2005.

Owners wanted to keep more of the league's nearly $4 billion in basketball revenues to themselves after guaranteeing 57 percent to the players under the old deal. And they sought a system where even the smallest-market clubs could compete, believing the current system would always favor the teams who could spend the most.

Monday marked the 137th day of the lockout; the NFL lockout lasted 136 days.

Lovely. Just lovely.

On the bright side, I shouldn't have much of an issue getting a refund for that 21 game package now. Seriously, what could my sales rep say other than "here's your money back, Mr. Anderson"?

Question: Assuming you do still care about the NBA, were the players idiots for rejecting this latest offer? Do they have any idea what they're doing?

The Good Wife... Staring Gloria Cain.

2011-11-14T09:25:00.009-05:00

[Editor's Note: I stand corrected. Cain's numbers have actually plummeted. The most recent CNN poll released today shows Cain now in a distant 3rd place. Romney holds a slight lead over soon-to-be flavor of the week, Newt Gingrich. Yep, GOP. You are officially screwed. So is the initial premise of this post. Lovely.]

Isn't it pretty amazing just how quickly Herman Cain's GropeGate™ scandal disappeared? I mean, seriously, (yet!) another Rick Perry brainfart was all it took. I don't even think SNL did a signature Cain sketch this weekend.[1] Dude went from sugar to sh*t and back to sugar quicker than Michael Vick.[2]

Last week when I gave my unsolicited advice to Mr. Cain, I stated that then prolly might have been a good time to play the "Wife Card". You know what I mean. Trot out your wife when in the midst of a sex scandal to reconnect with female voters and let them know you're not some monster, just a clueless guy who occasionally can't keep it in him pants and whatnot. Heck, it's a cliche so American, and so pervasive that there's an entire TV show that revolves around this concept. If you aren't up on CBS' brilliant The Good Wife, you should get familiar. It's only the best show on all of television, period!!!

With all that said, Cain has essentially weathered the storm. That story is old news, thanks to the aforementioned Rick Perry and some really sick & nasty dude named Jerry Sandusky. America has moved on, and although Cain's poll numbers with female voters have suffered as a result of these allegations, he remains very much a frontrunner, which is simply astonishing on about 102 levels.[3] Still, Cain felt the need to drop the "wife bomb" now.

In the first televised interview that Herman Cain gave two weeks ago to respond to allegations that he had sexually harassed and settled with two women while he was president of the National Restaurant Association, he played “the wife card,” revealing that his wife, Gloria Cain, would sit for an interview.

Scheduled to air Monday night at 10 p.m. Eastern time on Greta Van Susteren’s “On the Record,” (Fox News), the interview will add another voice, another layer, and another news cycle to a narrative that for two weeks has defined, yet not derailed, Cain’s quixotic campaign for president.

According to an early transcript provided by Fox News, Gloria Cain told Van Susteren that the allegations offer an unfamiliar and, she believes, inaccurate picture of the man she has known for 45 years.

Herman Cain and his advisers have insisted that the allegations are not only untrue, but that the swirling, he-said-she-said controversy has only helped his campaign. Recent poll numbers, and the $2.25 million that the Cain campaign has said it has raked in since the story broke, seem to back up their argument.

The roaring applause Cain got at the CNBC debate when he responded to the accusations also suggests some visceral support for Cain within the Republican base. He has become the lightning rod among hardcore Republicans, who believe he has been victimized by liberals and the media.

Yet as much as Cain and his supporters suggest that the allegations haven’t damaged the former Godfather’s CEO, there is clearly a fraying of support among Republican women. Cain currently has the support of 15 percent of Republican women, a drop of 13 percentage points since October.

Which is where Gloria Cain, potentially, comes in, serving as a kind of character witness for husband and validator for their marriage. But the ritual of a wife “standing by her man” is by now a cliche, and likely not as effective as it once was, Smith said.

Part of me thinks this is bad, bad strategic timing.

First and foremost, I feel for Mrs. Cain. This looks like a perfectly good chuuuch lady who probably wants no part of this story nor the limelight. She and her husband probably agreed that he could use this sham of a campaign to boost his speaking fees and take his radio show national, so long as she didn't have to do any media appearances (she hadn't until now). She is also a registered Democrat (according to him) so I'm sure there's that conflict as well. Now, this poor woman has gotta go full blown Alicia Florick, is about to be paraded in front of cameras, is forced to lie about her husband not gropin' all those blondes (seriously, what did you expect her to say?) and I'm sure the opposition (#TeamPerry) is already looking into her background to see if there's any Jeremiah Wright-style preacher distraction looming.

Sadly, all of this could have been avoided had Cain just fessed up initially, but obviously blaming the media (and liberals) was a calculated move that worked. Which is why still parading his wife out there after the fact seems odd. What's there to really gain, other than putting a story most people have already forgotten back in the media cycle, and placing a bullseye firmly on this kind woman's forehead?

Nice move, Daddy Green. The really Daddy Green woulda never put Mama Green out there like that.

Question: Is this a bad tactical move by the Cain campaign? Ladies, if you were Mrs. Cain, would you stand by your man, or make that bama answer for his own BS? Do you watch The Good Wife?!?

[1] Sorry Kenan. I get the weird feeling that your time on SNL is limited.

[2] Uh, actually Vick might technically be back to sh*t mode right now. 3-6? Losing to the Cardinals' backup QB? Dang Philly, what's good?

[3] Seriously, think about it. Given this country's history, what's the likelihood that a mostly white electorate would side with a black man, who has essentially been accused of making unwanted sexual advances on a half dozen white women? I mean, seriously, what's the likelihood? This, is why I'm more convinced than ever that Cain will win the GOP nomination. And lose to Obama. Badly. Terribly. Epically.

Rick Perry Implodes. Herman Cain Stays #Winning.

2011-11-11T10:09:00.011-05:00

You sorta have to feel for Rick Perry. You really do. The man's not terribly smart, and his relatively solid legislative record is inflated because of the state he just so happens to govern. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to run the state of Texas? With all that oil, it's practically impossible to not have a good economy. Perry is about as responsible for all that low-wage job creation as Adam Morrison was for all those Lakers championships.

Anyways, all this, and George Bush's two inexplicable terms, clearly gassed this guy up to the point that he thought he too could be President. He didn't realize that Bush's "regular guy with regular intelligence" model doesn't work anymore (or does it?) and figured he'd just cruise through those GOP debates. Wrong, of course. After jumping to the top of the polls once he declared, Rick Perry's quest for the White House has been marred by a series of fails, each increasingly more epic than the prior. But his meltdown during Wednesday's debate was so astounding, not only has it probably ethered his campaign, it has journalists scrambling for some scientific explanation for how terrible is was.

It was the Hoover Dam of mental blocks. Pundits referred to it as a “brain freeze” or a “gaffe.” In Internet parlance, it was an “epic FAIL.” But to neuroscientists, what happened to Texas Gov. Rick Perry Wednesday night looked like something very ordinary, exacerbated by stress: a “retrieval failure.”

It happens more often as we age. But the brain scientists say it shouldn’t be seen as evidence of an intellectual deficit or some medical problem. Instead, they say, retrieval failures offer a glimpse into how the brain does and doesn’t work, not just in the skulls of presidential candidates but for everyone else, too.

It’s impossible to know what exactly was happening inside Perry’s head at the Republican presidential debate, and the pundit class will continue to debate whether it was a neurological hiccup or a telling sign of a candidate who doesn’t know his own policies. What’s certain is that, at a crucial moment, on stage, live on national television, Perry could not remember the name of one of the federal agencies he would like to abolish.

Once he started to flounder, he probably found himself entangled with unhelpful thoughts, suggested David Diamond, a behavioral neuroscientist at the University of South Florida. In a stressful moment like this, the mind turns to the consequences of the error, making an elegant recovery all the harder.

“Even though Rick Perry’s life was not being threatened, his brain was responding as if there was a lion in the audience about to pounce on him,” Diamond said. “He’s now got the media pouncing on him.”

Wow, “retrieval failure", huh?

If this was a Obama, they'd call him "dumb", but I get the point. Personally, I don't think this is the sort of thing that should disqualify someone. It was a simple "blackout". It happens to me all the time at work, frequently in front of customers. Since I actually do know what I'm talking about (unlike Perry), occasionally getting stumped as I'm "choosing my words" doesn't seem to kill my credibility. Thus, I've got a little sympathy for Governor GoodHair. Sadly, GOP voters don't seem to. He was already doing Pawlenty numbers before this latest meltdown, it this probably spells the end of the road for The Ricker. Enjoy N*ggerHead, buddy! You'll have plenty of time for huntin' and fishin' there soon.

Oh, and BTW, did Herman Cain get off the hook quickly or what?
Funny how Rick Perry's Epic Fail has totally knocked Daddy Green off Page One. I mean, seriously, dude was damn near looking like Tiger Woods the other day, Perry goes out and freezes up on national TV, and Cain's suddenly old news. He has used this controversy to raise racks on rack on racks in campaign donations, and is still leading the polls in most battleground states. Heck, he's even extending his lead in many polls.

BTW, Cain accuser Karen Kraushaar is now saying that since the two other NRA accusers aren't willing to come forward, she probably will not have that Grope-O-Rama™ joing press conference after all. Give Cain credit for understanding his constituency. Conservatives hate "the lamestream media" even more than they hate sexual harassment. By playing the serial victim, dude has pulled off the amazing feat of getting white folks to side with him, even though he allegedly sexually harassed white women!!!!! That, my friends, is what you call pimpin' the game!

That Cain vs Obama matchup is looking more likely by the day. I told ya'll that brotha was made of Teflon!

Question: Was Perry's gaffe really all that serious? Is Cain the luckiest man alive?

Should Kim Kardashian Be Starring In A Tyler Perry Movie?!?

2011-11-11T00:37:00.001-05:00

[Editor's Note: Yes, you I and should prolly file this one under "Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?", but I didn't create such a tag yet.]

Given Tyler Perry's status as Hollywood's current biggest earner, far be it from me to question the man's business acumen. He makes millions peddling C-grade movies to ~~lonely single black women~~ churchgoers. I typically end up paying to watch said movies. So yeah, joke's definitely on me.

If there's one thing I can give Perry, it's that he usually does a decent job of mixing well known (ie: Angela Bassett) actors with under the radar (ie: Tasha Smith) talent. In an odd way, he does actually give quite a few black folks who might otherwise be working a Sizzler their shot at the big screen. These people are generally decent/competent actors, although you could probably look at the coontastic cast of "Meet The Browns" and disagree. I prolly wouldn't argue with you on that one.

That said, the "controversy" brewing around the casting decision for his latest movie sorta rubs me the wrong way.

Kim Kardashian has arrived in Atlanta to film scenes for Tyler Perry’s upcoming movie, “The Marriage Counselor.” Some of Perry’s fans want the reality show personality off the project.

A number of comments from Perry’s website demonstrate some folks’ desire to see Kardashian, who just filed for divorced 72 days after her made-for-TV wedding, gone.

“Kim Kardashian in your movie? Why have you stooped this low?” one person posted.

Wrote another: “I believe it is against your better judgment to have Kim Kardashian star as a supporting actress in your upcoming movie. You still have a moral responsibility to your supporters to maintain a level integrity when in comes to casting your movies. I have to boycott this film if Kim Kardashian is part of this project.”

And another: “Mr. Perry when I first heard that you had select Kim to star in a role in one of your movies I dismissed it as typo. I’m not sure what you expect her to bring to your set.”

Other posters sounded more supportive, or at least less outraged. One sounded resolved yet irritated: “Well Tyler, since you are going ahead and keep Kim Kardashian in your new movie in spite of how your fans feel tells it all. You’re beginning to sound arrogant. I felt so proud of how hard you work and how connected you are to your fan base. I don’t see it as your fans telling you what to do and feel like we can because of our undying support, but dang TP, Kardashian does not fit.”

Okay, black ~~women~~ folks, I'm gonna call bullsh*t on this one.

Look, I get it. Kim K's already not exactly a fan favorite to lots of sistas because she "dates" a lot of high profile black men. So there's that. I'm thinking quite a bit of the criticism is reflective of such sentiment, whether sistas are willing to admit it or not.

But seriously, this isn't The Color Purple. This is another lousy Tyler Perry movie that's gonna be on TBS before the NBA Finals are over (as if!). Kardashian isn't the first non-talented person to get a starring movie role, and won't be the last. Perry knows his formula, and putting Kim K on those movie posters is probably going to bring in an entirely new audience to witness the coonery. This is all about a brotha trying to get ahead. Don't hate. If you don't like it, for the love of baby Jesus, please do not pay to see this movie. Go read a book, or learn Excel formulas, or something more productive with your time.

Besides...

"Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?"

I'm just sayin'.

Question: Should Kim K be starring in a Tyler Perry Joint? Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?

Eff' A NBA Lockout!!! The Season's Being Simulated.

2011-11-10T00:34:00.000-05:00

By the time ya'll read this, the NBA's lockout will either be lifted, or the entire season will probably be scrapped. David Stern's hardline "take it or leave it" negotiating tactic probably isn't the best approach, but given the shortage of $5M/year jobs, if I'm the players, I'd prolly take it. I mean, seriously, we're talking a 1% difference between the two sides here. Don't these dumb dumbs realize they games they've already forfeited probably add up to the missing 1%? Or maybe they don't teach basic math when you're a physical education major.

Anyways, it's amazing to me that the players don't realize they're the ultimate losers here. When games resume, sure, attendance is going to be lighter because casual fans have been turned off by this millionaire vs billionaire pissing match. And guess who'll bear the brunt of the cascading boos when they blow a defensive rotation in the 4th quarter of a game? The players, of course. They'll be heckled worse than ever before. Half of them are probably going to show up out of shape, which just adds to the fire.

The owners? Well, they're gonna be fine. Even if attendance dips, most teams make their money of luxury suites, TV revenue, and corporate sponsorships, not run of the mill gate receipts. And few owners are exactly household names/faces. Can you name the owner of the New York Knicks? Would you recognize him if he walked up and slapped you right now? Probably not. Carmelo Anthony, on the other hand? Well, there's a good chance it's going to report to camp about 25 pounds overweight. You think The Garden crowd is gonna go easy on him when he has his first 5-23 shooting night in a loss to the Bobcats? Not so much.

So here's to hoping common sense prevails and the players take the d*mn deal. There's only so much NHL hockey I can watch before I snap.

On a related topic, if you wanna see something really, really cool, go peep this.

With the 2011-12 Pro Basketball Season currently locked out, Strat-O-Matic has teamed up with Basketball Prospectus to simulate all of the cancelled games. Check back here for daily box scores, game summaries, player statistics, standings and more! There may not be a real basketball season going on right now, but you can still get your daily fix of pro hoops- only through the magic of Strat-O-Matic!

For locked out basketball nerds like me, this site is awesome. They are simulating each game, as scheduled, and putting up a game summary and box score the next day. It's almost like the real thing, complete with injuries, power rankings, the whole nine. Before you NFL fans, clown me for this, imagine how desperate you'd be for anything gridiron action if that league hadn't wisely ended its labor impasse. See, doesn't sound so corny now, does it?

Let Us Play!!!

Question: Will the NBA lockout ever end? Do you even care anymore?

What's On My iPod?!? - Traap Musik Edition.

2011-11-10T00:00:00.004-05:00

No need to fake it, for a dude who's allegedly ~~intelligent~~ a hip hop purist, I've found myself liking a whole lot of LCD[1] rap lately. I can't say why for any real reason, but sometimes listening to dumb sh*t is just easier. Who needs ultra complete polysyllabic rhyme schemes when "We Ball With That Money Ball, Throwin' Up Alleys!" works just fine? I'm just sayin', you can't run a 5k listening to Taalib Kweli. Trust me, I've tried. Sometimes Juicy J just makes more sense.

Yeah, that's what I've been listening to lately. Yeah, I'm 38 years old. Yeah, I'm married. Yeah, I have two kids. Yeah, I have a real day job. Got a problem with that, meet me outside.

Anyways, here's a sampling of what's been on shuffle on my iPod lately. I usually drop the accompanying links, you today, ya'll gotta do the legwork on your own. As usual, pretty much everything here is free99. Hit HulkShare Records and get to downloadin'.

Big K.R.I.T. - "Money On The Floor"

ScHoolboy Q - "My Homie"

T.I. - "Flexin", "We Don't Get Down Like Ya'll", "F.A.M.E."

Lil Boosie - Incarcerated

Future - True Story

Juicy J - Rubba Band Business, Rubba Band Business 2, and V.A.B.P.

Killa Kyleon - "25 Lighters"

Webbie - Savage Stories

2 Chainz - TRU Realigion & Codeine Cowboy

Project Pat - Cut Throat & Cut Throat 2

Dom Kennedy - From The Westside, With Love

Question: What are you listening to? Anything new and exciting that's reasonably "intelligent"? Do I need to stay out the "traaaap"?!?

[1] "Least Common Denominator" for those of you who didn't go to an HBCU.

Rest In Peace, Heavy D.

2011-11-09T09:11:00.002-05:00

[Editor's Note: I did a 3Play Thursday for Heavy D awhile back. This seems like as good a time as ever to rerun it. Have a Peaceful Journey, Dwight Myers. You'll be missed.]

Ahhh, the days when cRappers made music the whole family could listen to. These days are long gone, but once upon a time there were artists like DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Queen Latifah, and of course Heavy D.

Dwight Myers, a Jamaican teen from money earnin' Mount Vernon, NY had a decade-long run of making fun music that was largely inoffensive, but still had a decent amount of street cred, something Will Smith never quite mastered. And yeah, he's still around now, acting in the occasional B-Movie and making reggae music. Still, he had some classic material back in the day. And yeah, he managed to pull this off despite being somewhat overweight. I'd love to see Rick Ross top that.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. Everyone has their favorites, here's a few of mine.

"Mr. Big Stuff"

"The Overweight Lover's In The House"

"Is It Good To You?"

Bonus - Download this Heavy D Tribute Mix via MixCrate.com

Question: What are your favorite Heavy D cuts?!?

The Herman Cain "Them Hoes Is Lyin', Fam!" Press Conference Open Thread.

2011-11-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, so Herman Cain's got a presser scheduled for 5pm EST to presumably defend himself against the series of heinous allegations leveled at him by past co-workers and random Perkins waitresses.

Ooops, wrong dude.

Anyways, since you'll probably get around to watching this sometime soon, drop your observations here.

Question: What did you think of Cain's press conference?!?

Herman Cain, Just Quit Right Now.

2011-11-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I'll say this for Mr. Cain, he clearly has his "type".

One of the five women to have accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment when she worked for him at the National Restaurant Association has been named and pictured, making her the second of Cain's identified 'victims'.

Karen Kraushaar, a 55-year-old federal employee and registered Republican, was one of the two women who, in the late 1990s, settled claims of sexual harassment against the 2012 GOP presidential candidate.

Mrs Kraushaar's lawyer released a statement from his client last week after it was first reported on Politico, starting the slew of allegations against Cain. She is unwilling to add anything more except to confirm it is her.

Mrs Kraushaar and Sharon Bialek are now the only two named accusers. A day after Ms Bialek came forward, her reputation is already being called into question as parts of her 'gold-digging' murky past start to emerge.

Quite a different picture of Mrs Kraushaar - who currently serves as a communications director at the Inspector General’s Office of the Treasury Department - has emerged. According to NPR, the 55-year-old lives with her lawyer husband of 26-years Kevin in Maryland.

Before her long career in professional government jobs, Mrs Kraushaar, an accomplished equestrian, was a news reporter and editor. She is also said to have written a true story children's book with her mother-in-law.

Her brief employment with the restaurant association was her first, and only, experience working with a private lobbying organization.

She has also worked as a public affairs specialist at the Department of Homeland Security, the Justice Department, and the Consumer Product Safety Commission, according to NPR.

Her friends and family told The Daily that she was 'very reliable' and 'not the type of person who would make things up'.

She was freed last week from a confidentiality agreement signed when she settled her harassment case against Cain and left the association with a cash payment in June 1999.

Herman, for the love of Conservative Jesus, please just quit while you're ahead.[1]

What Would Reagan Do?!?[2]

Question: How long before Cain's list of alleged accusers becomes Tiger Woods-ish? Should dude quit while he's ahead?!?

[1] If this blog seems like it's been "all Cain, all the time" lately, sorry. But this is a developing news story that involves two of this blog's main topics: politics and race. If anyone's offended, sorry. It is what it is, and I do what I do.

[2] Answer: Reagan would probably have been a lost less sloppy with his.

Sharon Bialek Speaks. Seems Credible. "Ruh, Roh" Herman Cain!!!!

2011-11-08T10:29:00.006-05:00

At 5pm today, Daddy Green will be holding a press conference, during which he'll undoubtedly slam accuser Sharon Bialek as a vindictive woman out for revenge and financial gain. Anyone who thinks Cain will somehow show humility and atone for past wrongdoings clearly knows nothing about Herman Cain. Watch the man speak for 5 minutes, and count the number of times this guy refers to himself in the 3rd person. That's not the countenance of a man who knows how to admit wrongdoing. Say what you want about Obama's milquetoast temperament, but after 8 years of Bush, I'd like to think "Strong & Wrong" is the absolute last leadership style anyone would prefer.

I told ya'll Cain was getting too high on his own supply, and would eventually crash and burn. Consider Bialek's series of CNN interviews the black box. No puns intended of course.

Here's another appearance this morning with Carol Costello, who should really, really, really lay off the Botox.

Whereas yesterday's Friar's Club press conference was a media zoo, Bialek's subsequent interviews have revealed her to be a much more intelligent, thoughtful, and yes, believable woman. And they've slowly but surely convinced me that maybe she didn't make all this up.

Cain has some explaining to do.

Question: Does this interview change your opinion about Bialek's accusations? What will Cain say to defend himself during his press conference this afternoon?

Magic's Announcement, 20 Years Later.

2011-11-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

Although I'm just 38 31 years old, there are a handful of "do you remember where you were when..." moments that I can distinctly recall. The Challenger explosion. The Reagan assassination attempt. September 11th. OJ's infamous Bronco escape. Chris Webber's wayward "timeout" that won UNC the national title. Obama's election. The first time I heard the "Scenario" remix. You ask me where I was today, when those things happened, and I can tell you the date, time, what I was wearing, who I was dating, and what I had for lunch.

Magic Johnson's announcement that he'd contracted the HIV virus and was leaving the NBA immediately was one such day. I remember sitting in my dormroom watching the news, and this was the lead story. Word didn't travel so quickly in the pre-internets days, but you could slowly but surely hear the murmur spread from room to room on my floor. When the press conference was over, everyone walked out into the hallway, silent. Before you knew it, one guy started crying, and then 20 grown-assed 18 year old men were crying. You'd think someone's biological father had died.

I wasn't even the biggest Magic or Lakers fan, but something about watching a well-known athlete at the prime of his career announce such startling news just hit home. Sure, I'd known of other people who's contracted HIV, and even died of the fullblown "package", but you always figured a guy like Magic was somehow immune. Apparently, his Johnson was not Magic enough.

In the years since, Johnson has gone on to live a healthy and productive life. Hell, I've venture to guess most 15 year olds probably know him more as the guy who owns all those Starbucks, instead of the game's best point guard evar! And of course, Magic's continued vitality has spawned a million and one conspiracies about him, and the virus itself.

Still, 20 years later, I wonder what we all learned from this. Chime in below with your thoughts.

Question: Did you think Magic Johnson's HIV infection was some sort of conspiracy? How did his announcement change your personal sexual behavior? Do you still remember where you were when you found out?

Cain's Accuser Speaks. And That Broad Is Lyin'.

2011-11-07T15:22:00.012-05:00

[Update: I just saw Bialek's interview with CNN's Piers Morgan. She came across as much more relaxed in this setting, and minus all the circus theatrics of this afternoon's presser, she was much more credible. It was like night and day. Part of me wonders why she didn't initially announce her story in this fashion. I think she undermined her credibility with that press conference, likely to the point that nobody will care that she recovered later. I'm gonna need Cain to explain this one.]

Ya'll know how much it absolutely kills me to co-sign a lazy Conservative talking point. Absolutely kills me. So believe me when I say I watched that Gloria Allred press conference just waiting for something ratchet to occur that would force Daddy Green to finally fess up. And wouldn't you know it, something very ratchet did indeed happen. This accuser, Sharan Bialek is about as shady as a $4 bill.

I mean, seriously, watch this and tell me you don't already hear the feelers going out to Hugh Hefner and whoever books reality shows over at VH1. This ain't nothin' but a damn circus, folks.

Random Thoughts:

She looks and sounds like a washed up pRon star. Not exactly helping in the ole' credibility department.

I knew we were in for some serious f*ckery when Allred introduced her by mentioning Cain's "Stimulus Package".

This isn't harassment. She was no longer employed by the NRA. If this did indeed happen, it's a sexual assault. She should have gone to MPD.

She recalls this story, and the exact timeline with the sort of precision you'd expect from something that happened last week, not 3 decades ago.

The whole "you want the job, right?" line was straight out of a 3am Skinemax flick. It's simply not believeable. At all.

For someone who experienced an alleged felony, she is waaaay too chipper. I'd think seeing Cain last month would have bought back a flood of painful memories. She doesn't seem too traumatized.

This broad is lying. For what reason, I have no idea (she said she didn't want money), but she is most definitely lying.

Cain is gonna sleep much better tonight.

This woman does a disservice to every legitimate victim of sexual assault.

Gloria Allred does a disservice to anyone who calls her/himself an attorney. Seriously, that woman is despicable.

As I predicted this morning, if this woman didn't seem 100% believable, this story was only going to add fuel to Cain's totally misguided "liberal media persecution" narrative. Sadly, it would probably also overshadow the very legitimate allegations of those who worked with Cain at the NRA. It did all those things, and then some. Daddy Green comes outta this one smelling like roses.

No need to lie, the thought that this whole sham of a press conference was manufactured to make Cain look good has crossed my mind, but I don't even think dude's smart enough to pull that off. Besides, does it really matter? Folks who love him are going to believe him anyway. Dude could pull a Jerry Sandusky right about now, and GOP voters are so hypnotized, they'd defend him.

Daddy Green stays #winning.

Question: Does Mrs. Bialek have a legitimate beef, or is she a plant by the Cain campaign?!?

Herman Cain Accuser To Speak Today.

2011-11-07T10:17:00.006-05:00

Just when you thought this whole Herman Cain "GropeGate" scandal couldn't get any more bizarre.

The media circus surrounding Herman Cain just got its third ring. The celebrity gossip website Radar reports that Gloria Allred — yes, that one — will introduce America to a woman who says Cain harassed her in the past.

The woman, who will be the first to go public on Monday, sought Cain’s help with an employment issue and was allegedly sexually harassed by him. Allred and her client will discuss, in detail, what she alleges occurred with Cain.

Allred’s office did not immediately respond to a request for confirmation on the Radar story.

Other Cain accusers have declined the spotlight. On Friday, the attorney for a woman who settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s told reporters in Washington that his client stood by her claim but would not be saying anything more about it. Another woman who allegedly settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the NRA also has not come forward.

This one can go either of two (okay, 3) ways for Daddy Green.

Good - Everyone knows that Gloria Allred is a feminist ambulance chaser. Yes, she brings credibility to any allegations, but like Rebb'n Al and Jesse, she also takes away credibility by merely showing up. If Cain wants to blame the media for his current situation, few people are a better lightning rod for such criticism than Allred. The mere nature of Allred's track record also makes it easy to discredit the alleged victim as merely out for fame/money.

Bad - Sure, Allred's going to hurt the cause, but putting a living, breathing, talking (and no doubt painfully expressioned) face behind these allegations takes the whole "anonymous" aspect of this story and tosses it out the window. If this woman's story even sounds remotely realistic, Cain's going to have to respond, rather than remain on the defensive. Even worse, if this woman is white... well, let's just say "Bye bye, Daddy Green. It's been real."

Ugly - The woman makes some very unsavory allegations about Cain that he's forced to defend/rebut. Instead of saying "I'm sorry" (as if), Cain and Co. go dig up some dirt on the woman to discredit her. The whole tit for tat consumes another week of news cycles, at which point many party leaders ask Cain to drop out. A fullblown internal race war develops within the GOP. Newt Gingrich arises from the ashes to take the lead in all polls. And Obama wins re-election by a staggering margin.

Assuming this press conference is televised (of course it will be!) I'll try and somehow tune in and drop the inevitable Youtube here later on.

Question: How will Gloria Allred and this new accuser effect Cain's campaign?

The Day I Officially Turned On Herman Cain.

2011-11-07T00:23:00.010-05:00

If you're an AB.com regular, I wouldn't blame you for being somewhat (okay, really) confused about my official stance on Herman Cain.

I obviously wouldn't vote for the guy under any circumstance, simply because he doesn't advocate a single issue that I agree with. But I don't dislike him. He's great blog fodder, singlehandedly providing much of the non-policy related material on this increasingly banal roster of GOP Presidential aspirants. I don't respect his "tell the good white folks how much better you are than the rest of dem' shiftless Negroes!" hustle, but I do find it amusing. And of course, the guy looks a lot like my grandfather. I can't hate on him that much.

I've mostly seen Cain as a provocative, yet ultimately harmless sideshow. You know, kinda like watching The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. He's got about as much chance of making it to 1600 Penn Ave as NeNe Leakes, and is about as well informed on foreign policy. I wasn't giving Cain a pass on those sexual harassment charges either, but in the grand scheme of things, his ignorant and shortsighted 999 Tax Plan is probably a bigger threat to the nation than whether or not he sleazily tried to coerce some random chicks from accounting back to his hotel room 15 years ago.

But one thing I can't co-sign under any circumstances is playing the dreaded "race card" where none exists, especially from a Negro who notably played the awesome "racism is no longer a factor!" card just a few weeks ago. Nothing about the way Cain's accusations have played out nationally has been racial in any way. A white Conservative leading the polls would have caught flack for those charges, so would a Democrat. It's called being a non-vetted frontrunner. Happened to Obama, happened to Kerry, happens to every serious contender. That ain't race, my man. It's called Politricks As Usual.

And for throwing this pointless "high tech lynching" meme out there to distract from your own (alleged) ignorant actions, Cain officially lands on AB.com's Sh*t List.

And oh, while we're on the topic, this soundbyte's probably gonna come back to haunt Cain.

All together now... Knee-Grow Please!!!

Here's the funny thing about Cain's "race card". His race is actually an asset that appears to be shielding him from legitimate and valid criticism from the GOP establishment. He seems to get the benefit of the doubt just because he's black.

I think GOP and Tea Party voters are so hellbent on proving they aren't racist that they're letting this dude get away with figurative conservative murder. He has bungled positions on abortion, was in favor of TARP, is a Wall Street fat cat, favors affirmative action, has worked for the Fed Reserve, has run for office twice before, and plays the race card at will. If you closed your eyes, you'd swear this guy as a liberal. So why in the hell is this dude even qualified to be the GOP candidate? Would a white dude who committed this many blunders be leading the GOP pack? No, a white dude who committed this many blunders would be called "Gary Johnson".

Again, I'm convinced the GOP is so intent on proving they're not racist, they'll sabotage their chances at winning back the White House by electing a black guy. Any black guy.

And in an odd sorta way, that sh*t is racist.

Question: Does this "high tech lynching" allegation make any sense?

AB.com Open Mic Friday

2011-11-04T07:53:00.003-04:00

Still on the road. Here's your open mic. Speak on it. A few topics to mull over...

Obama Approval Rating Inching Closer To 50% Again

Herman Cain Accuser Will Speak Today

Unemployment Numbers For October Released

NBA Fans Organizing Boycott

Occupy Wall Street Movement Showing No Signs Of Slippage

Question: What's on your mind today?

(Not So) Great Moments In Recent Negro History #14 - Hurricane Chris Rocks The L.A. State Legislature.

2011-11-03T00:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, this really happened.

Question: Can you count all the things wrong in this clip?!?

AB.com Open Mic Wednesday

2011-11-02T09:20:00.001-04:00

On the road again. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

AB.com's Completely Unsolicited Advice For Herman Cain.

2011-11-01T09:57:00.004-04:00

I'm not a crisis manager by trade, I just occasionally play one on the internets. When notable public figures find themselves in a bind, I provide no-cost, common sense advice which if applied properly, can quickly squash any controversy. When ignored, however, the results can be downright disastrous. I'm an amateur, but I know that of which I speak. Consider me a poor man's Eli Gould.[1]

And with that, here's my completely unsolicited advice for Herman Cain...

Either Get Your Story Straight, Or Stop Talking Altogether!!! - Watching Cain's quickly evolving "see, what had happened was..." explanation for those harassment charges yesterday was a public case study in political amateurism. At first he was completely innocent, then he heard nothing about a settlement, then there was a settlement, but the b*tch was lying. Seriously, Cain knew about the pending Politico story 10 days ago. He had plenty of time to get his facts straight. He could have preemptively gotten ahead of this by issuing a statement before the story dropped. Instead, he did no homework, and looked like and outright liar as his story changed with the wind yesterday. This was rank amateurism at its worst. Now, Cain should refrain from discussing publicly and either issue a full statement, or simply not talk anymore and pray this goes away.

Contact Those Women Before The Media Does. - Cain's explanation that he had no idea there was a hush payment given to an employee when he was in charge of a small 300 person organization is also a lie. If you're CEO and you get hit with such an allegation, you don't turn this over to general counsel and keep it movin'. He certainly signed off on any monetary compensation provided to those women. He is lucky the women are bound by an NDA to not disclose further information. It would benefit him greatly to contact them now, and give them even more hush money to remain quiet.

Disappear For A Minute. - The worst thing Cain can do is keep making foolhardy public appearances. Currently on a media tour to promote (what else?) a book, Cain would be best served to get ghost until the next GOP debate. Standing in front of a mic several times a day is only going to open him up to further questioning.

Find Out Who Leaked This Story, And Leak A Story About Them. - The consensus seems to be that one of Cain's GOP opponents went to the press with this story, although depending on whom you ask, rumors about Cain's alleged transgressions have been floating out there for months. My guess is the culprit's name rhymes with Dick Derry, which makes sense because both are essentially vying for the same hardcore Conservative voters. Perry's had some tawdry rumors about his own sex-related issues floating out there for months. Make some sh*t up, leak the story to another lamestream media outlet, feign ignorance, and watch the media attention shift.

Dude, Where Is Your Wife?!? - The trump card to squelch any sex-related controversy is to drag your poor wife in front of the cameras, as if to say "see, I'm not all that bad, this lady's stuck by me for years". Cain has been married nearly 4 decades, but have you seen his wife or adult kids at all? This might be a good time to put them in front of the cameras.

For God's Sake, Show Some Darn Humility! - When Cain got in front of the cameras at the National Press Club, I knew we were in for a treat. Not since Jeremiah Wright's infamous press conference have we seen a guy so strong and wrong show his a$$. Cain doesn't have a repentant or humble bone is his body, and when you're dealing with sexual allegations, that's not exactly the image you want to project. Stop referring to yourself in the 3rd person!!! Quit comparing yourself to Clarence Thomas, dude wasn't exactly 100% innocent ya' know? Stop sangin' "Amazing Grace" everytime some white person asks you to. You're at about an 11 right now. We're gonna need you to dial the ego back to about a 5. Please.

Blame Obama!!! - Cain's already played the race card, and blamed "the media" for this "witchhunt". You know what would really get Conservatives behind you? Claim this story was somehow manufactured (forget the word "leak", go BIG) by the Obama Administration to keep a Conservative brotha down. You don't need to substantiate this. Conservatives don't need proof (look at the birther conspiracy, which was still a campaign issue as recently as last week!), they just need someone to validate their own beliefs. Run with this.

Question: Got any unsolicited advice of your own for Daddy Green?!?

[1] Just Google it already.

Herman Cain Did Not Have Sex With Those Women!!!

2011-10-31T13:35:00.003-04:00

Okay, I'm gonna make a not-so-bold prediction here: Herman Cain will win the GOP candidacy running away. After the way he's already weathered these latest allegations, what other conclusion could you come to?!?

Herman Cain, one of the frontrunners in the Republican race for the White House, is battling to keep his candidacy afloat amid allegations of sexual harassment involving two female workers in the restaurant industry.

In the first stage of a damage-limitation exercise, Cain did a live interview with Fox News in which he categorically denied sexually harassing anyone or making any out-of-court settlement himself. He described the allegations as "trumped-up".

But he acknowledged that the row was going to do some damage to his campaign, which had seen him take the lead in some polls.

"Obviously, some people will be turned off by this cloud over my campaign, but a lot of people are not going to be turned off," he said.

Ignoring the traditional advice of public relations consultants to get all the facts out into the open, Cain skirted round some of the details, ensuring the row will rumble on. Crucially, he was unable to say whether the National Restaurant Association had paid the two workers in a deal that bought their silence.

Cain, in a story broken by the Politico website, was accused in the 1990s of sexual harassment by two female staff at the association, a lobbying group for the hotel industry. Cain held a senior post in the association.

According to Politico, two female staff left the company after complaining about inappropriate behaviour by Cain that made them angry and uncomfortable. They reportedly received a payout in return for signing an agreement to keep quiet about it.

In his first comments on the allegations, Cain said: "I have never sexually harassed anyone: I can say that. Secondly, I have never sexually harassed anyone, and, yes, I was falsely accused while I was at the National Restaurant Association. And I say falsely, because it turned out after the investigation to be baseless."

Independent reports have already confirmed that at least one woman was paid a 5-6 figure settlement for her trouble. Of course, all of these allegations were covered up with a standard non-disclosure agreement, so we'll never hear what happened. And thus, there's no way this will derail The Cain Train.

Is this Negro made of Teflon or what? Seriously, think about it:

He was head of the Kansas City Fed Reserve, and has run for President and US Senate before, yet he can claim the title of "Government Outsider" and nobody bats an eye.

He worked for a high profile lobbying organization, but still claims to be "against special interests".

He has proudly boasted about not wanting to hire a Muslim to a cabinet level position.

He was pro-choice, then pro-life.

His 9-9-9 Plan will effectively raise taxes on 87% of all Americans, many of whom are probably Conservatives.

He was for TARP.

He's got not one, but two confirmed cases of women who were paid off because of his undue sexual advances, yet Conservatives are coming out in droves in support of him today, claiming these allegations are merely the "lamestream media" trying to "keep a brotha down".[1]

This dude can weather that sorta storm, yet still be the frontrunner? Seriously?

The more I think about this guy, the more I realize how brilliant he is. I don't mean in the textbook "I went to Harvard" Obama book smarts, sense. Nope, Cain is street smart, and understands the psyche of his constituents far better than Obama. When in doubt, blame the media, because all Conservatives are conditioned to distrust the media, facts be damned. It's a "victimhood" approach that worked well for Sarah Palin. Cain is essentially running plays from the same book, subbing sexism for racism, and dude is #winning.

I hate the game and the player, but I can sorta respect the Grand Hu$tle.

Obama vs Cain next Fall. Book it.

Question: Are these sexual assault allegations going to kill Cain's momentum, or is this a one-news cycle story at best? Do you care if your President prolly rubbed his co-workers boobs and paid them to be quiet about it? Is there anything Cain can do to fall out of graces with GOP voters?

[1] Yes, I heard one Conservative talk show host claim Cain's only being blamed for harassment because he's black.

(Not So) Great Moments In Recent Negro History #29 - Webbie Tells Kids To Stay In School.

2011-10-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

If you don't know the backstory on this f*ckery, here's the Cliff Notes version. Now, just press play and be (mildly) entertained.

Question: Can you count all the things wrong in this video?!?

(Not So) Great Moments In Recent Negro History #56 - The Infamous Tuscaloosa Waffle House Fight.

2011-10-28T00:43:00.000-04:00

I'd prefer to not run the full fight video here. You can watch here if you'd like. You probably need to watch it to understand the full context of this f*ckery.

Question: Do people think before putting incriminating videos on YouTube?!?

Caption This Photo.

2011-10-27T23:43:00.000-04:00

I could say so much, but I'd rather hear your line instead.[1]

Question: Caption this photo. The wittiest comment gets a week's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™ and a loaded 12-inch Godfather's pizza.[2]

[1] Hat tip to Bol.

[2] Not really.

Should They Test Welfare Recipients For Drug Use?!?

2011-10-27T00:08:00.000-04:00

You know the routine. Sometimes when I'm conflicted about a story, I punt instead of providing my own spin on it. This would be such an instance.

A federal judge has temporarily blocked a controversial Florida law requiring all welfare applicants to be drug-tested. U.S. District Court Judge Mary Scriven issued a temporary injunction Monday evening against enforcement of the law's "suspicionless drug testing" of adults seeking federal welfare.

The law went into effect July 1, but a single father and the American Civil Liberties Union contend in a lawsuit that the new law is unconstitutional and violates Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable search and seizure.

"Perhaps no greater public interest exists than protecting a citizen's rights under the Constitution," the judge wrote, quoting a 1997 Hawaii case.

Under the law, the Florida Department of Children and Family Services requires the drug tests of adults applying to the federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program. The aid recipients are responsible for the cost of the screening, which they recoup in their assistance if they qualify.

Those who fail the required drug testing may designate another individual to receive the benefits on behalf of their children, but they do not receive a refund for cost of the test.

Florida Gov. Rick Scott has championed the law, saying it provides "personal accountability." He added it was "unfair for Florida taxpayers to subsidize drug addiction." The GOP-controlled legislature passed the bill, and Scott signed it into law in May 2011.

Since campaigning for governor, Scott has said that the drug-testing of welfare recipients "will help to prevent misuse of Florida tax dollars" and make sure the money goes to the children.

"Research shows higher drug use among individuals receiving government assistance, and drug abuse also forces children into welfare assistance," Scott said while signing the bill into law.

The ACLU said the state's own study found that of the 2,000 people who took the state drug test, only a small percentage (less than 2%) tested positive.

Okay, I'm gonna withold my commentary on this one. Maybe I'll chime in later, but for now, it's your show.

What say ye'?

Question: Should welfare recipients be tested for drug use, or is this just another case of too much government intrusion?!?

Quite Possibly The Worst Presidential Campaign Ad Of All Time.

2011-10-26T00:35:00.001-04:00

In the annals of political advertisement, we've seen some truly odd campaign commercials. While some candidates stick with basic themes of generic Americana, others push the envelope and go for shock factor. We've seen opposition to affirmative action expressed via a pair of white hands, weird red eyed sheep, scary black inmates used to decry opponents as weak on crime, demonic sheep, Hollywood blockbuster-style theatrics to liven up plan vanilla candidates, and just plain ole' f*ckery.

This ad, courtesy of The Campaign To Elect Daddy Green, just might be the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Period.

What is this? A ploy to "Real Americans"? An appeal to folks who smoke, crack fiendishly, outside office buildings in the dead of winter? An ad for Crest White Strips™? Foreshadowing an upcoming subject on How To Catch A Predator? And what's up with Cain's protracted sh*t-eating grin at the end?

Uh, seriously HERB, WTF?!?

Question: What was that?!?

Follow Me.

2011-10-26T00:00:00.001-04:00

I'm on Twitter. I'm on Google Friends (link on left sidebar).

What ya'll waitin' on? Follow me, already.

BTW, I am going to redo the Facebook setup to create a fanpage instead of the regular account up there right now, so you'll need to become my "friend" again. Stay tuned for more details.

AB.com Hot Topics - 10.25.11

2011-10-25T11:08:00.003-04:00

Here's the daily rundown, with headlines taken from links you sent in/suggested.

Cain Holds Slim Lead Over Romney in National Poll [RCP] - Okay, even I'll admit I thought the gig woulda been up by now. I figured once "Real Americans" took a look at Herman Cain's sketchy resume, they'd be jumping on Team Mittens by now, but Cain is the train that keeps on chugging. The "vetting" process for him is just getting underway, but that, and recent slip-ups on abortion and foreign policy don't seem to be sinking his ship. In an odd way, Cain seems somewhat like Sarah Palin: a reasonably smart and moderately accomplished person who has no business running for the Presidency, but becomes a martyr to folks with a disdain for Washington and "elitism". Still, this plane is gonna eventually crash, and for Vain Cain (has any other man every referred to himself so frequently in 3rd person?) that's surely going to be one humbling experience. Awwwwww shucky ducky!!!

Rick Perry's A Birther [WP] - Uhhh, seriously, was this guy asleep at the wheel last Spring? Did he not see Obama's grand announcement? Isn't this last years news? So why's Perry apparently playing the birther card? Well, sagging poll numbers for one (he's in 5th place in many polls). And oh yeah, a Gallup poll in May (the month after Obama showed the damn document!) reported that only 47% of Americans believed Obama was born in the US. That's right. After he showed the requested long form document, more than half of all Americans still don't believe him. So, basically, this is a last ditch effort for Governor GoodHair. Classy.

Fairfax neighbors head to court over unscooped dog poop [WP] - No disrespect intended to my readers of a lighter complexion, but this is the consummate case study in "while people problems". Seriously. When this is the biggest of your concerns in this economic climate, you're probably doing pretty well in life. Why this was a front page story, I have no idea. None.

Netflix stock sinks 36% as subscribers flee [CNN] - There are some companies that really "get" their customers. Yesterday my Southwest Airlines flight was delayed 3 hours for mechanical issues, so I was stranded (I got their alert one minute after I returned my rental car). This has happened a lot lately. So, I tweeted about how p*ssed off I was. 10 mins later, an SWA customer service agent responded, we talked offline, and they're giving me comp tickets. They value their customers and do whatever it takes to retain them. Netflix, doesn't. While I think a measly $5 price hike is hardly reason for a fullblown consumer rebellion, Netflix's embarrassing mishaps are a B-school case study in "not knowing your customer... at all!" and they're paying for it dearly. Of course, if you're a potential shareholder, the stock tumbling from $300 to $75 in a matter of weeks is actually a good thing. So there's that.

Professional Complainers Unite [TheDrum] - Regarding that experience with Southwest yesterday, you might be interested in knowing that more companies are responding to complaints via social media than ever before. I'm not exactly a professional complainer, but I am the sort of guy to write a terse email or call customer service when I'm unhappy with an experience. So being able to blast a corporation via Twitter and get a more direct and immediate response is a revelation of sorts for me. Apparently this is a documented best practice of sorts now, that smart companies are capitalizing on. If this sorta nerdy business/workplace stuff appeals to you, you might wanna read this.

Sporting Headlines - Rangers one win away from first World Series, which would give The Big D two world champs in one calendar year. NBA cancels two more weeks of season. Jags ether B-More. Caps still undefeated. Cam Newton is awesome! Not so sure about Tebow, despite that gutsy win.

Question: What do you think about these issues?

Are The NBA Owners Racist?!?

2011-10-24T01:38:00.002-04:00

For NBA stans like me, the past few days have been horrible. Talks between the union and players association died late last week, and any moment now, I'd expect games through the New Year to be cancelled. The two sides have no plans to meet again, after the owners (allegedly) refused to budge on their profit sharing demands, and things quickly dissolved into a petty game of he said/he said during a pair of godawful press conferences.

So, I'm pretty much officially a Redskins fan now. I gotta watch something, and I ain't thuggish enough to turn to hockey just yet. If there's no pro roundball come January, check back with me.

Anyways, as with anything in America involving people of different races, the element of racism seems to be lying just below the surface of these aborted negotiations. The NBA is lead by commish David Stern and a handful of owners. The players are represented by Laker Derek Fisher and union bawse Billy Hunter. One side's overwhelmingly white (with the exception of Michael Jordan) and the other's almost exclusively black (84% of NBA players are brothas). But does this racial dynamic automatically equal racism?

I typically like The Washington Post's Mike Wise, but his exploration of this (potential) issue was hamhanded and just downright lazy.

The owners “lied to you,” Derek Fisher said, moments after the players union president walked out of fruitless labor talks in Manhattan on Thursday night. And with that the mutual distrust and name-calling began anew.

Now the NBA is again facing the prospect of a bye year. Soon, it won’t be about money. Soon, the Rev. Jesse Jackson worries, it will be personal and irreconcilable and no longer about the color green.

I called Jackson to see what he thought of Bryant Gumbel’s portrayal of NBA Commissioner David Stern as a smug and pedantic bully in his dealings with the players during his closing remarks this week on HBO’s “Real Sports.” Gumbel’s commentary included the misguided characterization of Stern, widely known as the most forward-thinking, ethnically inclusive commissioner in modern pro sports, as a “modern plantation overseer.”

The older white men are now asking the young black men to take a pay cut in order to cover their purported losses, upward of $280 million a year. Given that, it’s almost ridiculous they call “basketball-related income” the elephant in the room.

Once race becomes a factor in the discussion, it begins to tinge perceptions of everything and everyone.

Spurs owner Peter Holt, who heads the owners’ labor relations committee, has been one of Rick Perry’s top 10 donors the past decade, giving the Texas governor and Republican presidential candidate more than $500,000 in political contributions.

A sports owner making contributions to the governor of his franchise’s state might be seen as logical self-interest. But through a racial prism, it can be viewed as Holt being pals with a guy whose family’s hunting camp had the n-word painted on a rock near the entrance for years.

Clippers owner Donald Sterling is a real-estate mogul who owns 10,000 apartment units in Los Angeles and Orange counties, so his being the subject of a housing-discrimination suit might not be a huge surprise. But when former employees deposed in discrimination cases say Sterling did not want to rent to blacks or Latinos because they “smell” — claims his lawyers call “absurd” — that could make his African American players wonder what he really sees across the negotiating table.

And when jilted Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert wrote an open letter after LeBron James bolted Cleveland for Miami in 2010, Gilbert could have been an owner rallying his deflated customer base. But through a racial prism, Gilbert looked like a white owner labeling a black employee who honored his seven-year contract an ingrate — or, as Jackson said in the wake of Gilbert’s letter, “a runaway slave.”

“Gilbert unleashed a whole body of language on him that was so violent and so threatening,” Jackson said Thursday afternoon. “That’s why I used the language I did.”

Look, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here: I don't think there's anything particularly racist about this labor squabble. Sure, the two sides look pretty different complexion-wise, but this is all about green, plain and simple. The owners want the players to take 50% of BRI, the players are stuck at 52.5%. That's it, and that's all. Period.

Is there likely some paternalistic "take this or else!" posturing coming from the owners? Sure. Do the players likely feel they're being shorted here, because the owners are generally more educated and business savvy? Probably so. But that doesn't make anything about this negotiation "racist". Drawing flimsy parallels from Spurs owner Peter Holt to Texas governor Rick Perry is the worse kind of racial guilt by association. If Holt has a problem with putting black players on his team, I doubt he would have ridden Tim Duncan and David Robinson to NBA titles. Clippers owner Donald Sterling is a bonafide douche who has been sued for discrimination before, but there's no proof that his douchiness has anything to do with these negotiations. He's also a well known spendthrift, so he just wants his money. As for Dan Gilbert, well, I'm on record as agreeing with his Dear Lebron missive.

So, sorry, I don't see the race here. This is about money, plain and simple. The players, by virtue of being employees, are at a disadvantage, and that disadvantage probably gets exploited at the negotiating table. But that doesn't make anything about this story racist.

Shame on you Mike Wise.

Question: Am I wrong here, or do you see a racist element to the NBA's labor dilemma?!? Is Wise's piece intentionally interjecting race to sell papers and generate web clicks, or does he have a point?

AB.com Open Mic Monday.

2011-10-24T00:48:00.000-04:00

On the road again, so no blog today. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

What's On My iPod?!? - Classic 90's R&B Mixtape.

2011-10-23T00:09:00.000-04:00

I like to whine and complain about the state of modern R&B music frequently here, and on Twitter. I rarely, if ever, listen to any R&B released after 1999. The genre's hard turn into the lousy "Where Hip Hop & R&B Lives!" format that litters the airwaves today simply isn't appealing. There's little musicality, the lyrics are awful, and well, Drake's whiny, professional male apologist a$$ seems to be on every 3rd song. That's reason enough to not listen if you ask me. "Urban Contemporary" sucks just as badly.

I thought the 80's were the decade when live instrumentation died, and the 90's were the decade when that gradual shift towards R&B's genre bending infusion with rap music really took off. That said, there was a lot of good/decent music made then, and the utterly awesome mixtape Statik Selektah & Lord Sear Present Open Bar Classics Vol. 2: The 90′s captures some of the decade's best offerings.

I mean, seriously, check the track listing.

Crystal Johnson Intro
Mary J “Real Love” (original & remix)
Meth & Mary J “All I Need” (Puff’s Remix)
112 “Only You (Remix)”
Dru Hill “In My Bed (Remix)”
R Kelly “Be Happy”
Groove Theory “Tell Me”
Gina Thompson “The Things You Do (Remix)”
702 “Steelo”
Isley Brothers “Float On (Remix)”
Total “No One Else”
Faith “i Just Can’t”
Mary J “Everyday It Rains”
Aaliyah “Back & Forth”
Adina Howard “Freak Like Me”
TLC “Creep”
Horace Brown “Things We Do For Love”
Shai “Dont Wanna Be Alone”
SWV & MJ “Right There (Human Nature Mix)”
SWV “Anything (Wu Remix)”
Mariah Carey “Fantasy (ODB Remix)”
Montell Jordan “This Is How We Do It”
Zhane “Hey Mr Dj”
Eric Benet “Georgy Porgy”
Faith “Love Like This”
Lucy Pearl “Get Involved”
Lucy Pearl “Dance Tonight” (So What Its 2000)
Koffee Brown “The After Party”

With no filler and minimal shoutouts/random DJ obnoxiousness, this is a tailor made soundtrack for a breezy Sunday ride or that random trip down memory lane. Hell, I give them extra points for resisting the urge to include "No Diggity" (thank you Jesus!). And as always, the price it right: It's free.

Stop reading and go download it already.

Question: What's your favorite random 90's R&B song?!?

Also cop.... Statik Selektah & Lord Sear – Open Bar Classics Vol. 1: The 80′s (Mixtape) [via NahRight]