Thursday, April 23, 2015

Note To Self: Never Marry A Kardashian. Never, Ever.

So, just to tally it up...

Lamar Odom marries Khloe Kardashian. Promptly develops a crack habit at age 30 (who does that?), and is out in the NBA quicker than you can say "Wait, they fired Scott Brooks?"[1]

Kanye West marries Kim Kardashian, and doesn't even sound like a guy from the southside of Chicago anymore. Seriously, have you heard Yeezy talk lately? He sounds like the guy who makes my (occasional) iced coffee.

The first guy who married Kris Jenner died of throat Cancer. I have no idea what to categorize what the hell is currently happening to Bruce Jenner, but it's pretty clear why that white guy who has kids by the other Kardashian has no interest whatsoever in wifing her up.

Look, I'm not here to disparage Bruce Jenner from doing whatever it takes to find peace in life. After 20 years married to that woman and raising those asshole kids, I might do something racial too. I'm not sure if "something radical" includes removing my penis, but whatever.

Question: Are you equally confused by this?

[1] Kevin Durant impending free agency is gonna be weirder and more drawn out that any of Lebron's "Decisions".

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