Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Michelle Bachmann's Weird, Yet Sorta Awesome "Retirement Video".

Ding dong... the witch is retiring, and taking a source of lots of good blog fodder with her.
Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, a tea party favorite, said Wednesday she will not run for another term in the U.S. House and said her decision had nothing to do with ongoing investigations over finances related to her unsuccessful run for the Republican presidential nomination.

Bachmann also said in an early morning announcement, released in a video posted to her website, that her decision wasn't influenced by concern about a difficult re-election campaign in her suburban Minneapolis district.

"My decision was not influenced by any concerns about my being re-elected," Bachmann said. She narrowly won a fourth term last year over Democrat Jim Graves, a hotel chain founder who is running again in 2014.

Ron Carey, a former chief of staff to Bachmann and ex-state GOP chairman, said Bachmann anticipated a tough battle ahead and seemed to be stuck in place in Congress even if she survived.
Here's the epic announcement video. BTW, when did people start retiring via video?!?

This video is just... odd, for so many reasons.
Bachmann's "dead behind the eyes" stare.

Bachmann's robotic, intonation-absent voice, which makes this whole video seem like something dictated by Siri.

Bachmann's soft-focus lense.

That music, which sounds like the backdrop to a corporate quarterly earnings announcement.

Bachmann's comical list of "achievements".
I halfway expected her to say "now please turn off all electronic devices, and enjoy your flight" at the end. You know, sorta like this...[1]

Bachmann listed plenty of reasons why she wasn't retiring, but failed to mention why she is. I've got a pretty good idea, and I'm fairly sure it rhymes with "money". Or somethin' like that. #chiching

Question: Is this video just begging for an SNL spoof? Why is Bachmann really retiring?!?

[1] I like this one much more, but the comedic value just isn't there.

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