Thursday, April 11, 2013

3 Play Thursday - (More) Rappin' Ballers.

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: More athletes turned cRappers.

Every rapper wants to be an athlete. Every athlete wants to be a rapper. Truer words have seldom been spoken, and blogged about ad nauseum. Here's a few new examples of what happens when worlds collide.

Serena Williams - "I Win"

Serena allegedly was working on a demo awhile back, and some studio guy just found the track laying around and sent it in. She doesn't sound any worse than Nicki Minaj/Azalea Banks/whatever TI's white girl cRapper is named. Still, this single verse is hot garbage, made with club play in mind. The "I Win" soundbite, the lazy Supa Dupa "..and I'm always on top... roofer!") flow, and the numerous not-so-clever "ballin'" references all add up to a lousy song. Keep your day job, and for the love of Richard Williams Black Jesus, stop dating so many damn rappers while you're at it.

Steve Francis - "Finer Things"

Francis has been out of the NBA for a few years now, and his last ditch effort to get money in China ended horribly last year. So of course, why not get the rap career started, since rap labels are clearly one of the most sound investments a man who won't be seeing anymore NBA paychecks can make? No need to lie, this isn't totally awful. More than anything else, it's just totally dated. This song coulda come out in like, 1994. 2 decades later, it sounds like a Murder Inc. throwaway track. Ja Rule would be proud of Stevie Franchise. I'm not gonna lie, his lousy 3rd grader raps aside, I sorta like this. The hook's kinda annoying, but I like the beat. Shoot me. Bonus points for putting his actual wife and kids in the video though. Nice touch.

Kevin Durant - "Ain't Worried Bout' Tomorrow"

Part of me thinks Kevin Durant isn't too comfortable with his squeaky clean choir boy image. The dude is from DC after all, and even playing in a far away state like Oklahoma, his game and outward appearance is still all DMV. His verse (the first one) on this song isn't bad, it's just nothing special. He's better than Kobe on the mic, that's for damn sure. So there's that.

Dejuan Blair - "You Better Recognize"

The Spurs big man has been trying to help out his homies for several years now, fronting studio time and well-produced videos for a clearly untalented group of bamas named P.O.P. Seriously, Dejuan, tell these bamas to get real day jobs, and work on your game before you end up playing for the Austin Toros. What Would Tim Duncan do? I doubt he'd do this.

Question: Should any of these athletes be working on their rap skills, or do they need to stick to the day job?!?

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