Thursday, April 25, 2013

3 Play Thursday - Christmas Songs We Really Didn't Need.

3 Play Thursday is BACK!!! Today: Christmas Songs We Really Didn't Need..

Christmas is my favorite time of year, especially now that I've got two three kids to go broke buying Thomas and Disney Pixar Cars and various girly stuff for shop for. And yup, I love me come Crimmus music too.

[Editor's Note: Yeah, damnit. I know it's not Christmas, it's April. This is a repost. Just go with it.]

The other day I'm listening to Sirius XM, and the most ratchet holiday song I've ever heard came on the radio. It was basically some Uncle Luke (the Too Live Crew guy) Christmas song with Poison Clan. They were talkin' about hoes, and I don't mean the type Santa prefers. I tried in vain to find a YouTube for this, it was so awful I had to share it with ya'll, but couldn't.

And Jesus wept.

On that note, here's a few more Christmas Songs We Really Didn't Need.

H-Town - "Knockin' Boots For Christmas"

Seriously, how unnecessary was this song? I mean, I get the point. Preying on a woman's seasonal sentimentality to get some booty is as American as apple pie. Still, did we really need to mix Baby Jesus' birthday with a ghetto quiet storm classic? "Makin' Jingle Bells ring till' the break of dawn". Why? Why? Why? Even weirder, this song appeared on the Christmas at Luke's House CD.[1] Yes, that exists. No, the aforementioned Poison Clan song isn't on it. Thank you Jesus.

Juelz Santana ft. Skull Gang - "Christmas Song"

Did you know there was a Dipset Christmas album a few years back? Yes, this actually happened. When Jim Jones had that unexpected hit with "Ballin'", he rode the wave of popularity to this atrocity. There was even a Santa Claus-themed remix of "We Fly High", which was every bit as turrible as you might imagine. As for this song, well, if you're at work, in a festive mood, or have some level of personal dignity, please don't press that Play button.

TLC - "Sleigh Ride"

This song wasn't necessarily all that terrible/triflin', it was merely awful sounding. I don't want T-Boz's raspy chain-smoking voice nowhere near my Christmas tree. While this song inexplicably has withstood the test of time and still gets spins on radio stations every December, reality is it just sucks. At best, this sounds like a throwaway track from Ooh... On The TLC Tip. Not that that helps.

Question: Got any other tacky, random Christmas songs that I missed?

[1] Given some of the songs on this album, that cover art is just... I have no words.

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