Monday, March 11, 2013

The Latest Wingut Outrage: Michelle Obama Parties With Beyonce.

I like starting my day with a plate full of ignorance and a glass of race-baiting, so naturally I tune into Fox And Friends. I'll give it to those guys on the curvy couch. They have the formula for lighthearted news/Obama sneak dissin' down to an exact science. Sure, I know watching Fox News sorta flies in the face of everything a "black progressive" like me should stand for, but I can't help it. F&F is like a peephole into the brain of middle America, albeit a peephole that's broadcast from lower Manhattan.

Anyways, this morning the hosts were complaining about how even though sequestration has prevented innocent middle American schoolkids from visiting "The People's House", it's not stopping {cue ominous music and pelvic thrusting Superbowl halfime montage!} Beyoncé from getting her West Wing on.
Preparations are already underway for Michelle Obama's big 50th birthday next January, and two of music's biggest acts have reportedly been booked for the occasion.

An unnamed (and potentially questionable) source told the UK's Daily Mail that the first lady has asked Beyonce and Adele to perform at her party.

"America’s first lady will be holding a huge celebrity-packed party for her birthday at the White House next year and, as she adores Adele and Beyonce, she has asked them both to sing," an unnamed source told The Daily Mail. "Adele has graciously accepted and waived her usual fee for the high-profile private performance. She will sing a selection of her most-loved hits for the first lady and her friends."

Beyonce has a long-standing relationship with the Obamas. The singer famously performed at President Obama's inauguration earlier this year, and, along with her husband Jay-Z, was a major supporter of Obama during his run for presidency and reelection. Beyonce also wrote the first lady a birthday card earlier this year for her 49th. "Michelle, thank you so much for every single thing that [you] do for us," Beyonce wrote. "I am proud to have my daughter grow up in a world where she has people like you to look up to."

Michelle Obama will turn 50 on January 17, 2014.
You can look at this two ways...

It's a waste of money to hold a 50th birthday party for the First Lady. Sure, the performers are playing for free, but in these times of fiscal austerity, why shouldn't the first lady just listen to her favorite acts on Pandora like the rest of us peasants? Such actions only reinforce the notion that the Obamas are some bourgeois Negros from Chicago who think they're King And Queen Of "That Other Peoples' Amurrica". And shouldn't she be somewhere greeting military families or something? The wingnuts do not approve of this message.

On the flipside: Obama ain't runnin' for re-election, so f*ck it. And f*ck a wingnut.

For the record, I'm on #TeamF*ckIt.

On a slightly related record (pun intended), I do wonder if this is actually the FLOTUS' dream concert, or if the guest list is (as usual) indicative of some very deliberate focus grouping. I mean, seriously, I could see Beyoncé, for obvious reasons. But Adele? I'm sure the FLOTUS prolly loves 2-3 of her songs, but Michelle-O strikes me as more of an Anita Baker-type. I'm just sayin'. That one seems like it's a pick made with appealing to a certain demographic in mind. But then again, they aren't up for re-election so what do they care? Adele it is.

This had me thinking about what my dream concert would be, if I could pick and choose exactly who I wanted and the people had to still be alive (yeah, that limitation sorta ruins the whole "dream" concept).

Anyways, the AverageBro Dream Concert™ would include...
A Tribe Called Quest - This was the soundtrack of my adolescence. If I'm the President, I'm signing an Executive Order to get Tip, Phife, Ali, and (sometimes) Jarobi reunited onstage.

Roy Ayers - The single artist I've spent more waking hours listening to than any other.

Standup By Patrice O'Neal Corey Holcomb - My house, my rules. If you're faint of heart, cover your ears. Sure, most people would go for Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock here, but Holcomb is hands down the best comedian at this present moment.

Bobby Caldwell - Runs a close second to Roy Ayers for "artists I've spent the most waking hours listening to". He can sing "Open Your Eyes" a couple of times and bounce.

Rick Ross - He's a sh*tty performer (I mean, seriously, I've seen him before. Awful) but he has a lot of hits. Bawse!

SWV - Don't ask. It's my party.

E-40 - Don't ask. It's my party.

Little Brother (& 9th Wonder) - See the ATCQ "You Must Reuinite" Executive Order #4080.

Patrice Rushen - Is she still actually alive?

Jodeci - Actually, just K-Ci and JoJo. Leave Mr. Dalvin and that other weird cat at whatever Greater Charlotte-area Sizzler they're currently washing dishes for.

Jeff "Tain" Watts - Maybe the best live "real" jazz performer I've ever seen.

Jay-Z - I'm not even the biggest Jay-Z fan. This is mostly an inclusion because I've never seen him in person and he has a huge catalogue.

The Roots - House band. They can back up everyone.

Sade - To sing me to sleep when it's all over.
But that's just my Dream Concert lineup. What's yours?!?

Question: If you were POTUS or FLOTUS and could put together the lineup for your personal Dream Concert, what's the lineup? They have to be living, BTW. Exhuming corpses = not cool. Or legal.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.