Monday, June 18, 2012

Is George Zimmerman The Dumbest Criminal Ever?!?

True Confession: I am scared as hell of ending up in jail. Period.

As a rule of thumb, I don't take penitentiary chances. I'm not built for the penal system. I ain't bout' that life. At all. Call me a square, but sometimes it's just much easier to play by the rules and stay outside, instead of doing dirt and ending up in a cell with two guys named Rudy and P-Nutt who want you to share your cornbread. And by "cornbread", I mean anal rape, of course.

I know this all sounds crass, but reality is most of us ain't bout' that life, and most of us wouldn't make it one day in the slammer. Certain people have an innate ability to survive, hell, even thrive, inside the clink. And certain people lack the street smarts and soap-grasping ability to do a 72-hour hold. I'm one of those people, and I'm proud of it. Proud, I tell ya'.

George Zimmerman prolly is too, but hey, he killed a kid who obviously didn't deserve to be killed, and now finds himself behind bars without a clue for how to survive. So while his wife is obviously a ride or die chick[1], dude's lack of common sense seems to have landed them both in hot water. And by "hot water", I mean jail, of course.
The former neighborhood watch volunteer who killed Trayvon Martin told his wife to buy bulletproof vests for them and for his attorney, according to jailhouse calls released Monday.

“As uncomfortable as it is, I want you wearing one,” George Zimmerman told his wife. Zimmerman was wearing a bulletproof vest when he left jail after posting bond. His attorney, Mark O’Mara, has reported receiving threats.

The calls, released by prosecutors, also detail how Zimmerman instructed his wife to transfer money from bank accounts and could play a crucial role in his second bond hearing next week.

Zimmerman was released on $150,000 bond in April, several days after the calls took place. At his bond hearing, his wife, Shellie, testified that she didn’t know how much money had been raised from a website created for his legal defense. She also testified that they had limited funds because she was in school full time and Zimmerman wasn’t working.

Prosecutors say the calls show George and Shellie Zimmerman knew that roughly $135,000 had been raised by the site.

Shellie Zimmerman was arrested last week on a charge of making a false statement. George Zimmerman is charged with second-degree murder. He has pleaded not guilty, claiming self-defense during the confrontation with the 17-year-old teen in a gated community in Sanford, Fla. The case sparked protests across the country when George Zimmerman wasn’t arrested at first and led to nationwide debate over race and self-defense laws.

In one call, Zimmerman tells his wife and sister how to change a computer password at a credit union so they can move funds around.

In another call, Shellie Zimmerman said that money raised from the website was also being used to pay off bills. The couple also talked about how they would whisk Zimmerman away from the Seminole County Jail once he was released in April, and discussed using a rental car to drive to a hotel parking garage. There, they would change into another rental car to throw off anybody who tried to follow him.

Shellie Zimmerman told her husband that the website had crashed because of supporters leaving words of support, as well as donations.
Wow, there are "dumb criminals" and then there are really dumb criminals. I'mma let ya'll guess which one Mr. Zimmerman is.[2]

Did this fool ever watch "Oz"? Doesn't he realize you can't do this sorta stuff behind bars without getting caught?

And by "this", I mean killing an unarmed teen.

Of course.

Question: Do these latest revelations harm Zimmerman's credibility and hurt his defense? Could you make it 3 days behind bars? Is you "bout' that life"?!?

[1] Who oddly looks an awful lot like him? No?

[2] BTW, that Rick Ross verse on the new Usher song where he name drops Trayvon and Zimmerman... can we call the Drop Squad on Rozay? Please?

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