Thursday, March 8, 2012

Fox News Unearths Obama's "Lost Tapes". Zzzzzzzz.

I know I said I wouldn't tapdance on Andrew Breitbart's grave when he met his untimely demise last week, but eff' it. The guy's in the ground now, so whatever. One of Breitbart's parting gifts was an alleged "Smoking Gun" that showed then-college aged Obama spittin' some seriously radical anti-American mumbo jumbo at a Harvard rally. The conservative media's been playing this up all week, and last night, Obama: The Lost Tapes[1] was revealed.

Prepare yourself for some radical radicalism!!!

So, uhhh, yeah, that was about it.

A few random observations:
1) College-age Obama sounds just like President Obama. How many people's voices don't change slightly over time? That's jive eerie.

2) College-age Obama looks just like J. Cole. Tell me I'm wrong.

3) There is absolutely nothing even remotely controversial about introducing a speaker who just so happens to be a tenured professor at the college you're attending.

4) This whole "Lost Tape" played in its entirety on PBS waaaay back in 2008.

5) Conservatives are really, really, really running out of "Us Vs Them" material. Maybe they should just stick to bashing him on the economy he "single-handedly ran into the ground".

6) Dude, get your hands out of your pockets. They teach you that in ToastMasters, ya' know?

7) This is prolly even worse than the once-rumored, never proven, Michelle Obama "Whitey" tape.

8) Until the blog Buzzfeed bought the online rights to it from a Boston area television station, this video, in its entirety, had been available on YouTube for the past 4 years.

9) F*ck Andrew Breitbart.

10) Conservatives are seriously running low on new ideas for how to defeat "The Annointed One".
Seriously, is this the best ya'll have? After that huge buildup, watching Sean Hannity take "The Lost Tapes" and try to make this something bigger than it is was just pathetic. He swore the tape was altered, then showed the real magic bullet, which was, wait for it...

Obama hugged Professor Bell.

What a conspiracy!!! Impeach this Negro right now!!!

Folks, Derrick Bell, despite also being black, has no connection whatsoever to Jeremiah Wright.

None. What. So. Ever.

Bell was a noted scholar who fought hard to ensure that black professors at predominately white institutions were given equal opportunity when it came to being granted tenure. He also wrote a lot of books, some of which were fiction, most of which were all over my parents' bookshelves when I was a kid. So yeah, I guess, much like Obama, I was also influenced by radicals.

Or maybe we're just black(ish).

Geraldo Rivera had Al Capone's vault. Sean Hannity has Obama: The Lost Tapes.

Journalism, folks! Lovely!

Mark my words, "the right" is going to find a way to turn this dud into a larger argument about affirmative action. Mark, my words.

All jokes aside, shouldn't someone on the GOP side be rebuking Hannity for such shameless race-baiting?

Question: Seriously, is there anything remotely controversial about Obama: The Lost Tapes? Is this just more Conservative "Us Vs Them" nonsense?

[1] Yes, that's the wordmark from Nas' The Lost Tapes. If only you knew how difficult this Photoshop job was, you'd give me Cyber CapriSuns™.

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