Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Could Newt Gingrich Become America's First A$$hole President?!?

Watching his "acceptance" speech with my wife the other night, it finally occurred to me that a Newt Gingrich Presidency would be in many ways even more historic than Barack Obama's.

Yeah, we've had a black President. So what, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Gingrich's ascent to 1600 Penn Ave would be far more historic.

Because Newt could officially become, The First A$$hole President.

Think about it, there's a tailor made campaign theme song already made for him, courtesy of an Obama supporter, sure, but it's still very appropriate.
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know,
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs...
America should heed Yeezy's advice and run away fast as we can, but that's clearly not what's happening in the GOP primaries thus far. Newt is running on a platform of populism, media/elite/establishment hatred, and greasy talk. And it's working, precisely because he does all of these things so much better than his opponents. And quite honestly, he also does them better than the current President.
Still, it's hard for me to believe that GOP primary voters are actually getting behind this guy. Policy-wise, he's anything but a "hardcore Conservative". His Family Values would make Carl Winslow blush. He flip flops even worse than Mitt.

And of yeah, did I mention he's an a$$hole?!?

Make history, America. Re-elect the black guy.

Question: How do you explain Newt's appeal and success? Can he maintain this momentum going into Florida? Does it alarm you that a guy with his temperament is actually doing well in the polls?

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