Thursday, March 31, 2011

Kings of Comedy: The Republican Presidential Candidate Field of 2012.

After a brief hiatus, I've got a new piece over at TheLoop21 today about the prospects for 2012. Go have a look and leave some comments.

[Editor's Note: Just in case you were wondering, I'm not writing for AOL BlackVoices anymore. When the Hufffington Post/AOL merger finally took root, it resulted in a number of (hardworking, dedicated, and brilliant) staff editors being let go. While I'm sure Arianna is happy to use this money on a new yacht, unfortunately my main connect was a casualty of these layoffs, leaving me with no real person there to peddle my freelance pieces to. Obviously I'm much more concerned about her (she lost her Day Job, I just lost some extra walking-around money) than I am with my predicament. I'm still working on establishing a new contact at BV, but these things move slowly. If anyone (still) over there justsohappens to be reading this, get at me.]


What Would You Do?!? - When Public Transit HoodRats Attack.

Everytime I'm in NYC, I either have a friend or customer suggest that I take the subway wherever I'm going. Personally, while I know it's the cheapest way to get aroung, I'd rather not take my chances. Next gypsy cab, please.

And here's why...

Exhibit A - The woman is completely correct in her assertion that only animals (in this case, hoodrats) bust open a container of carryout and start eating on the train. Unfortunately, this is yet another example of a thought that's better kept to oneself. I'm thinkin' she'd play this one differently if given the chance.

I'm glad that the brother with the cornrows intervened, or this 2-on-1 brawl mighta gotten ugly. The lesson here: let hoodrats eat in peace, and alert the policeman when you get off at the next stop. It's just not worth it. I mean, seriously, what sorta person eats on a funky ass subway car anyway?

Exhibit B - I don't know what this poor guy did to deserve this tongue lashing, but he exercises a remarkable amount of constraint here. Seriously, I mighta caught a case, just on GP. Thankfully, nothing bad happens, and the cops actually go step in.

The lesson here: don't get into a verbal brawl with chicks like this. There's no "winner".

Question: What Would You Do?!? How do you typically handle such ratchet situations? Is it best to just live and let live, or are there times when someone has to step up and say something?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Would You Eat At "Fat Ho Burgers"?!?

I know, in this age of advanced Negro enlightenment (aka: There's a black man in the White House), we are supposed to be collectively beyond this sort of Negro Nonsense. Then again, there was (is?) a place in Virginia that sells a Ghetto Burger. So maybe these places should just merge and create the awesome Fat Ghetto Ho Burger.

Here's an interview with the owner. Maybe it provides a bit more context. Maybe not.

All things considered, I would prolly try one of these if I was ever in Waco (which I won't ever be, but still). Name aside, the food's prolly good. What say ye'?!?

Question: Is the name "Fat Ho Burger" offensive, or simply shrewd marketing? Would people have the same opinion if the restaurant's owner was a black man? How about a white man? Is this sista getting a relatively free pass because she's a black woman?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Today's Obligatory "Fox News Is Racist" Post.

One of my favorite places to blow a few minutes is The Fox Nation, a Huffington Post-style offshoot of the Fox News website that mostly consists of blurbs of stories and outgoing links to other news and opinion sites. There's seldom, if ever, any actual "news" on the site. Its appeal is entirely centered around its tendency throw up outlandish headlines, and the ensuing trail of outlandish comments that follow it.

This is probably best illustrated by the following headline "Hugo Chavez and Michelle Obama: 'Let's Move!'", which presumably ties first lady Michelle Obama to Venezuelan tyrant Hugo Chavez. The culprit: both (apparently) want people to eat less fatty foods and work out a bit more (the horror!).

Of course, the (not so) odd thing is that the Boston Herald story that's excerpted doesn't mention Michelle Obama or her signature "Let's Move!" campaign a single time. Not once. None of this matters of course. All that matters is that the table's set for The Fox Nation regulars to go in on the first lady. And go in, they did.

[Editor's Note: I love how this site, which allegedly upholds solid Christian, Real American values and hates all things Hollywood, always seems to have a photo of some scantily clad woman posted as their "Pic Of The Day".]

Seriously, all jokes aside, I wonder exactly what the point of this is. It would be less than intellectually honest to make a news organization (or any website, including mine for that matter) responsible for the actions of their commenters, most of whom aren't even required to actually register to leave their opinions on said site. Still, I can't help but think (okay, know) that Fox News intentionally throws misleading headlines out there as bait, knowing that the typical commenter there is just salivating for red meat (and a green light) to engage in racist, sexist, homophobic drivel in return. They clearly know the sentiment is out there, they're simply feeding the beast.

Truthfully, this isn't too far removed from the television network itself, which uses a similar approach to reel in viewers. We all know the Obama Birth Certificate nonsense was settled years ago, but watching Fox News and their various paid contributors give this story its 10th life, I can't help but wonder if there's an intellectually honest person on that network. Even the typically classy Geraldo Rivera recently got in on the party, giving Donald Trump a full segment to question Obama's legitimacy without even token resistance to the contrary. And I happen to like Geraldo, but this is just plain lazy "journalism".

I know I sound like a broken record by now, but I think it bears repeating: The election of Barack Obama was the single worst development in American race relations in two generations. And it has nothing to do with Obama himself, but rather the legions of crazies that his ascent has awoken in the craziest of ways.

Personally, I preferred my racism when it was still underground. Shoot me.

Question: Is all of this above ground "postracial era" racism tiring, or was I just not paying nearly as much attention until now?

Monday, March 28, 2011

ArmChair Obama™: Libya Speech Open Thread.

You're prolly watching. Drop your observations here.

Question: What did you think of the President's address?!? What would you have said/done about the situation?

A$$y Or Classy?!? - Serena Williams' Video Game Commerical. [Video Link Fixed]

I'm a very casual tennis fan, which is a classier way of saying "I only watch when a Williams sister is playing." It's been a minute since either sister was on her A-Game, since both have been injured repeatedly in recent months. Serena (laughably) tried her hand at acting. I'm not sure what Venus is doing, but I do recall her having an ill-fated discount clothing line made by the same folks who created those godawful Stephon Marbury shoes.

What all this has to do with the video I'm about to show is beyond even me. If you've got a better segue, have at it.
Publisher 2K Sports has attempted to halt the distribution of a Top Spin 4 ad that was never actually aired to the public. The spot features US tennis legend Serena Williams. What sets it part, however, is its rather risque approach to marketing the game. Dubbing Serena "the world's sexiest tennis player", we see the athlete in revealing clothing complete with a provocative soundtrack, plenty of grunting and ample shots of her behind.

The video was posted online by the other actress seen in the video who, seemingly, was a little miffed with 2K's decision to scrap the project. Speaking to Joystiq, 2K stated: "As part of the process for creating marketing campaigns to support our titles, we pursue a variety of creative avenues.

This video is not part of the title's final marketing campaign and its distribution was unauthorised." Many will be wondering why 2K didn't press ahead with the ad as part of its final advertising campaign.
Okay, here's the "ad". Don't worry, it's safe for work. Hit the Play button, already.

Let's call this what it clearly is: a Grand Hu$tle. I'm guessing that tennis video games aren't exactly flying off the shelves nowadays[1] and making a "controversial" viral video to spark debate on blogs like the very one you're reading is far more cost effective than running ads on prime time TV. There should be no shame in 2K Sports' game. As long as they keep releasing trill sh*t like NBA 2K11, they can make PS3 pRon for all I care. Cause that, my friends, is one heckuva video game.

I'll spare any further commentary of my own for obvious reasons. Ya'll tell me what you think below.

Question: A$$y Or Classy?!? Should Serena be beyond this sorta tomfoolery by now, or is the girl just having fun? Is this "commercial" total and complete objectification of the female form for the sake of free pub (and web hits for me) or does anything go in today's "sex sells" climate?

[1] I actually do have the PlayStation Move. Don't play it much, but it's pretty cool.

Friday, March 25, 2011

For The Last Effin' Time, Here's Obama's Birth Certificate.

You probably missed the memo if you're a sane person with a working brain, but 3 years after the fact, a staggering percentage of Real Americans still don't think President Obama was born in the United States. The latest high profile Real American to raise the birther flag is reality TV star Donald Trump. Thankfully, the catty ladies of The View won't tryin' to hear that bullsh*t.

Trump's "nobody remembered him in middle school" argument is about as comical as his hair plugs.

For the last time: here is the certificate of live birth.

And here's the Snopes article, which refutes every possible argument about Obama's place of birth.

And by the way for those morons who are tied up on nuances, a Certification Of Live Birth is the same thing as a birth certificate. Most states refer to the official legal document using this term.

Case closed. D*mn. Enough already.

Some conservative commentators have gone as far as to suggest that Obama is purposely not releasing an actual birth certificate because he wants to leave it out there as a litmus test for crazy. Namely, and Presidential aspirant who still thinks he was born in Kenya would send a clear signal to independent voters that they're not to be taken seriously. I don't think the Obama campaign is that smart/dumb. I fail to see how being considered a non-citizen would be an asset in any way, shape, or form.

Still, that doesn't shut up the critics, who keep harping on this issue waaaay beyond its shelf life.

Question: What's up with these "birthers"? Why are supposedly legitimate Presidential aspirants bringing up this non-issue? Is Obama's coyness about addressing this issue an intentional political tactic to separate the crazies from the sane?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 Open Mic - 3.23.11

The floor is yours today, children. Have at it, but play nice.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011's Web Junk Extravaganza.

Okay, I know I'm a day (okay, a week) late with all this, but a trio of "viral videos" not involving Antoine Dodson have been all over the news lately. I decided to add my belated commentary.

Asian-Hating UCLA Girl - There are some things better left thought than said. This bleach blond nimrod apparently didn't learn that via her "All American" upbringing, and now has been forced (well, okay, not forced) to hightail it outta Westwood.

The most striking thing about this video isn't necessarily the stereotypical "ching chong wing wong" sh*t. Nope, the most beguiling part of this video is this girl's prevailing sentiment of total and complete entitlement. Namely, she's entitled to attend a school without having to worry with those pesky Asians washing their clothes, and talking on cell phones and what not. Sadly, she didn't realize that although she's entitled to her birdbrained opinion, others are entitled to disagree. I hope this serves as a warning for any aspiring attorney with a webcam. Think before you Youtube. Better yet, don't Youtube at all.

Turrible Sangin' High School Chick - Folks, I know a Grand Hu$tle when I see one. This, my friends, is a textbook Grand Hu$tle.

The folks who put this child up to this, and shot this cringeworthy video knew darned well what they were doing. The song is so bad, it's actually sorta good. It's catchy, and it's probably on the iPod of half the kids in my neighborhood. Talent doesn't necessarily matter, buzz does, because buzz = iTunes. No, Rebecca Black has no chance at a legitimate singing career, but she's got 15 minutes and probably a nice chunk of money for more autotune singing lessons. Some reports say she'll pull in a cool million bucks once the producers finish getting their exorbitant cut. That, my friends, is #winning.

Big Boy "DeBo"s Puny Bully - I can't relate to bullying. I was the smart kid that everyone wanted to succeed (real talk) and never popped sh*t when growing up. It also helped that I had two older brothers (twins) and an assortment of cousins and extended family that would be right at home in a Waka Flocka Flames video. In short, nobody effed' with me. Well, except for that one girl. Anyways, I guess I get the whole concept of comeuppance, and given the media's sudden preoccupation with bullying, understand why this video went big.

Still, backstory aside, can we keep it one hunned here? This isn't even about bullying. This is about a small kid who really shouldn't have been talkin' sh*t and ended up getting bodied by a child 3x his size. Why exactly is this big kid heroic? I'm sorry that Casey Heynes had to endure years of taunts, but seriously, how hard is it for a 200 pound 8th grader to do a piledriver on a 75 pound kid? He doesn't know his own strength and could have easily killed this child. So maybe Casey Heynes shouldn't be the poster kid for this cause. I'm just sayin'. If the roles were reversed and some puny kid snapped and went all WWE on a big bully, that mighta made a bit more sense.

Question: What's your take on all these viral videos?

Monday, March 21, 2011 Hot Topics - 3.21.11

Here's the daily rundown.

Libya - Well damn. Just when I thought Obama has played this one the right way, Qaddaffi starts poppin' sh*t and the French of all people decide to open a can of whoop arse. Of course, we had to get in on the sweet action, and now it seems like we're well on our way to a 3rd war in a Muslim country. Sorry, I just don't see the "upside" of this one. What's there to gain? Iraq proved that gas prices won't get cheaper. I have a hard time worrying about the "liberation" of people overseas when you got schools 15 mins from my house that are 3rd world quality. So what's really up here? Also, I can't help but notice how all the GOP hopefuls that were blaming Obama for inaction last week are suddenly blaming him for getting us in another war. Yep, election season.

Obama In "The City Of God" - Folks, defend the man all you want, but the optics here are terrible. Gas prices are through the roof. We got an unofficial 3rd war underway. We still don't have a budget passed. Taking a 5 day Latin American tour with all this stuff going on just seems a wee bit tone deaf. And while I'd be the last person to pile on and call this a "vacation", I can't help but notice that this trip (which was planned months ago and greatly anticipated by the host countries) justsohappens to coincide with Spring Break at the ObamaKids™ school. I mean, seriously man, just cut it out already. While all the black folks in Brazil[1] are surely happy to see you, maybe postponing this trip (as you've done previously when things were tough here) might have been a better idea.

NCAA Mania - Yes, I wanted Duke to lose too. But they lived another weekend, as did my Tarheels. And how about Richmond, VA, home of not one, but two Sweet 16 participants. VCU and UofR didn't shock me (I picked both to advance), but they do show what makes March Madness the most unpredictable of sporting contests. I still got Carolina winning it all though.

Question: What do you think about these issues?

[1] Did you kno Brazil has the world's largest black population behind Nigeria? I didn't.

Friday, March 18, 2011 Hot Topics - 3.18.11

Okay, let's do a quick rewind. Since ya'll asked, here's my take on a few current events, as well as a few that I missed while I was... "on hiatus". If you're clueless about any of these topics, please consult The Google. I just don't have the time to drop links.

Libya - Here's the funny thing about Obama's "hands (waaay) off" management style. Sometimes it works. By simply laying in the cut, making moves behind the scenes (rather than some bombastic news conference), and letting the UN issue the proper response (no fly zone), and Libya to declare a cease fire, Obama proves why his measured style of leadership is often effective. Yes, I know. When sh*t's going haywire, people want passion and curse words, and LOUD TALK. But that stuff doesn't work nearly as well as simple deliberation, considering all aspects of a situation, and moving with caution. Most of these GOP numbnuts complaining about Obama's inaction would have us 2 weeks into a botched "mission" in the Middle East right now. Thankfully, those numbnuts aren't going to be President anytime soon.

Grant "Uncle Tom" Hill vs Jalen Rose - I'm from North Carolina, so I have an inborn hatred of all things Duke, and hope they crash and burn in the NCAA tourney. That said, I kinda side with Grant Hill here. While I thought his NY Times op-ed slamming Jalen Rose for calling him an Uncle Tom was a wee bit Tresvanty, Hill is right in defending the way his parents raised him. On the other hand, Rose sorta had a point too. It is very well known that Duke only recruits a "certain kind" of black player. They like kids from stable, middle classed households. I don't necessarily think anything's wrong with that, nor Rose's recollection of how he perceived Duke players as an 18 year old high school recruit. Some folks are trying to overintellectualize this and make it more than what it is. Enough already.

NPR Defunding - As ya'll know, I did a stint as a pundit on NPR a few years ago. I always enjoyed my appearances there, and even on the decidedly liberal show I was a guest on, there were always principled and articulate black conservatives on for point/counterpoint purposes. I'm not saying the station, and public media as a whole, doesn't lean left. Of course it does. But the GOP's hamhanded attempt to pull funding just speaks of the worst sort of politricks by ideology. NY Congressman Anthony Weiner's epic smackdown pretty much says everything I woulda said if I was in the House yesterday.

Bravo, Congressman. Bravo.

Japan - Pray for these people. Honestly, that's all you can do. And in the meantime, if you're on the West Coast, please don't go running out to buy iodine because some talk show host has scared you into thinking the radiation is coming to South Central LA. It isn't.

NCAA Tourney - A couple of upsets and buzzer beaters on the opening day mean this year's tourney is already better. Of course I have my Tarheels winning it again. And that faux controversy about President Obama wasting time on ESPN, well, welcome to election season, folks.

Question: What do you think about these issues?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dude, Where's My Blog?!?

Sorry folks, been short on time lately. Between the fam and The Day Job, I haven't had much, okay, any free time.

Lets just call this week a wash. Maybe I'll drop something tomorrow, prolly not. Otherwise, see ya'll back here Monday. Assuming I find some free time.

In the interim, drop links and keep the convo rolling in the comments section. This blog isn't about me anyway, you guys are pretty self sufficient.

Now, go suffice yourselves.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Ashy Or Classy?!? - 50 Cent's Oscar-Worthy Performance.

Look, folks. I hate being branded as a hater. Contrary to popular opinion, I don't go trolling around the internets looking for random sh*t to hate on here at I really, really don't.

Personally, I happen to like 50 Cent. Not so much as a rapper anymore, but definitely as an all-purpose entertainer. The guy's funny. He's a genuine "rags to riches" American success story. He's a hustler. He's hard not to like. Which is why it pains me so much to witness the f*ckery that is the trailer for his "long awaited motion picture release" Things Fall Apart, aka: the movie 50 Cent (allegedly) lost all that weight for.

Uhhhh, boy, where do I begin with all the wrongness in this 2:28 "trailer"?!?
Why is a college football team clearly playing inside of a basketball arena? (:10)

Mario Van Peebles & Lynn Whitfield, cast as 50's parents? Uhhhh, seriously? (:12)

Dreadloc wigs? Who's 50 posed' to be, Papa Doc?!? (:19)

My eyes! My eyes! Surely these folks know about HD trailers, right? Or maybe the fuzziness is on purpose. (:25)

Why are there cardboard cutouts masquerading as fans in the stands? Is it really that hard to get extras in Michigan? I'm guessing you offer enough people $5/hour to stand around and act enthused and you'd probably have some takers, given Detroit's economy. (:30)

That was the worst cinematic fall EVAR!!! (:35)

Lynn Whitfield is too good for this sorta nonsense. She played Josephine Baker for crissakes! BTW, does this woman ever age?!? (:46)

Ray Liotta? Wow. It's been a looong time since Goodfellas. (:50)

50 does his best Tyrone Hill impersonation. I'm impressed. (:52)

Now that was a fall. I'm definitely impressed. Them actin' lessons is payin' off, Fif. (1:21)

Anytime a Nelly song pops up at an inspirational moment, you know this movie's going straight to Redbox. (1:35)

"Curtis 50 Cent Jackson... in the most critically acclaimed role of his career!" Wow, how many times did the voiceover guy have to do that line without bustin out laughing? (1:49)

Where is he running to? (2:10)

That image will be on a motivational poster in barbershops nationwide. Mark. My. Words. (2:13)

And by "coming soon", they mean, as soon as Redbox tells us to ship the DVD's over. (2:21)
Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Is 50 winning an Oscar for this movie, or is this jawn headed straight for the bargain bin at Target?

Friday, March 11, 2011 Open Mic - 3.11.11

As you can probably surmise, I'm having a hard time keeping the blog up and going right now. I also realize this is MAD LATE in the day. The blog'll be back Monday. Till then, sound off on whatever you'd like. For example...
Tsunami - Pray for our brothers and sisters in Japan, folks.

Wisconsin - Is Scott Walker getting recalled for pulling that jack move?

March Madness - Who ya'll got in all these conference tourneys? #GoHeels

The Best Day Ever - Did ya'll get that new Mac Miller yet?
On that note, I'm turning the blog (back) over to you guys. Drop links, start your own convos, keep it poppin'. I'll be back on the wagon soon.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Quite Possibly The Worst 7 Minutes 17 Seconds Of TV Evar Televised.

I wish someone would tell Mr. McMillan that there's no such thing as a Black Joe The Plumber. Shamefully trying to flip his 15 minutes into another 5 just isn't possible. Nor is watching all 7:17 of this f*ckery. I double dog dare you to watch the whole thing without your head exploding. If you do manage to make it to the end, you'll probably hear to worst part of this whole "interview".

I don't know what's funnier: McMillian's lazy attempt to keep milking this dead cow, or Sean Hannity's talking points debating style. This is like watching two preschoolers playing Wii Tennis. Sure, one of them will probably eventually win, but that doesn't mean either one of them's any good.

Question: Is "Mr. Rent Is Too Darn High" gonna pimp his way to another 15 minutes of fame, or is the gig up?!?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Armchair Coach™: The Miami Heat.

Even the casual sports fan is well aware of the SuperTeam that formed when Lebron James took his talents to South Beach last summer. Many people (me included) derided this move, and deemed it not only bad for the league, but bad for Lebron and Co. The "if you can't beat em', join' em" manner in which James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh came together was a bad omen for a league that's already star driven. Namely, if smaller market teams are gonna lose their stars to the highest bidder, what does that say for the longterm viability of The Association?

Predictably, Miami got off to a rocky start in November, then gelled in December, capped off with a Christmas Day ethering of the Lakers in LA. All sorts of prognosticators jumped up to proclaim the "Heatles" as favorites to win the NBA title this Spring. Then, a funny thing happened: they stopped winning. The Heat are 13-12 in the last 25 games, and have absolutely been OWNED by every elite team in the league. Sure, they're still in the Top 3 in a "weaker than expected" Eastern Conference, but feasting on losing teams is hardly the recipe for a championship.

Now, after losing 5 straight and routinely blowing leads, Miami is at a crossroads. Their poorly constructed roster can't be tweaked, since the Heat let the trade deadline pass without making any real moves. They're chronically weak up front, porous on defense, and downright turrible in the clutch, as Wade and Lebron can't figure out who should have the ball when the game's on the line. Bosh infamously cried during a press conference after a tough loss last week. The writing's on the wall. This team's headed to a 2nd round defeat, unless some drastic measures are taken.

The question is, what can they do the right the ship? Or is this just plain' ole' karma biting these guys in the butt for the disrespectful manner in which they formed their team? Play Armchair Coach™, and tell me.

Question: Play Armchair Coach™ and "fix" the Miami Heat. What (if anything) can be done to salvage this nightmare of a season?!?

AB Goes To The Movies: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son.

I've never quite fully comprehended Hollyweird's obsession with putting black men (especially comedians) in drag. From Flip Wilson, to Eddie Murphy, to Jamie Foxx, there are few brothers who haven't had to resort to rocking pumps and panty hose to get ahead. Martin Lawrence is no exception to this sordid rule, and while his Big Momma franchise reached the point of diminishing returns long ago, it's not like Lawrence has had much box office success in his recent non-drag endeavors. Since child support and private school don't pay for themselves, Lawrence predictably bit the bullet and took the necessary pay cut to give us Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son. Why they didn't just name it Big Mommas 3 is beyond me. Actually, why they even bothered making this case study in coonery is prolly a better question.

BM3 finds FBI agent Malcolm Turner back in the bra once again, this time undercover at an all-girls prep school looking for a flash drive that... awww hell, who really cares about the superficial crime subplot?!? This movie, like the others, is all about Big Momma doing the running man and droppin' it like it's hot. Sadly, there is no Dougie-ing involved, but there is a crossdressing sidekick. The kid who played Malcolm's stepson Trent in the prior movies (un)wisely decided to back out, so now Tropic Thunder's Brandon T. Jackson takes the reigns, joining Big Momma at the girl's school to help find the flash drive. As if one brother in drag wasn't bad enough, Jackson more or less runs the show here, clocking more screen time than Lawrence himself. This clearly speaks of an intention to rebrand the franchise as a buddy film. So yeah, there will be more Big Mommas in the future. Personally, I blame Michelle Obama.

The plot here is flimsy beyond the point of even remote believability. Side characters like Sherri Sheppard, Faizon Love, and Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz would probably be ashamed of themselves for signing onto this nonsense if they had any dignity. Thankfully, Nia Long doesn't show up to reprise her prior role as Malcolm's wife, who is explained away as being out of town. Oddly, the children she was pregnant with in the last movie no longer seem to exist. Lucky for them.

As if the whole crossdressing thing wasn't bad enough, Trent's obsession with a girl of undetermined ethnicity just strikes me as the worst kind of Hollyweird colorism. Would it have really killed them to make his love interest black? I realize this seems trivial in the grand scheme of f*ckery, but it was just so.... typical. Not that we should expect better. Again, this is after all a movie about black men in drag!

The original movie cost only $30M to make, and grossed $173M when all was said and done. BMH2 raked in a cool $138M return on a $40M investment. BM3 cost barely $30M and has already made twice that. Whether I like it or not, there's a market for these movies, and as long 20th Century Fox can turn a huge profit, they're gonna keep makin' em'.

The Verdict: This might possibly be the worst movie I've ever seen. The bootleg was pretty good quality though. I suppose that's worth something.

Rating: 0.5 Stars (Out Of 5)

Question: Did you see Big Mommas 3?!?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 Open Mic - 2.8.11

Sorry folks, no blog today. I'm waaay behind on The Day Job. It is what it is.

On that note, I'm turning the blog (back) over to you guys. Drop links, start your own convos, keep it poppin'. I'll be back on the wagon soon.

Here's a few things to discuss, just in case.
Gitmo/GitLess - Looks like Obama isn't gonna close this after all, which many are hanging over his head as a broken campaign promise. Is it?

The Heat Extinguished - 4 straight losses. Crying in the locker room. Chris Bosh's PMS'ing. Think Bron wishes he'd kept his talents in Shaker Heights?

2012 Candidates Declare - Newt is in. So is that black guy who ran the pizza company. But otherwise things are happening slowly. What gives?
Question: What's on your mind today?

The Obama Approval Rating™ - February 2011.

Well, another month, another The Obama Approval Rating™ poll. The results, this time, weren't so good.
So, over the course of 3 months, Barry fell 8% from a pre-election rating of 78%. I'm not really sure what to chalk this up to. Ya'll tell me.

Question: What accounts for Obama's bad numbers this time around? Do you personally approve of his performance?

Monday, March 7, 2011

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Kim Kardashian's Debut Single.

Making the transition from actor/actress to musician is a dicey proposition for most entertainers. Whereas acting is an ensemble affair in which lots of flaws can be covered by your supporting cast, singing is much more of a solo endeavor. Sure, there's always production and autotune, but reality is, if you can't sing (or rap for that matter), you're prolly gonna be exposed rather quickly if you don't have any talent. Thrown into this pool, some folks (Jamie Foxx, for example) swim, while others (ie: J-Lo, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Love Hewitt) drown rather quickly. Some (ie: Idris Elba) have no business being in the vicinity of the pool in the first place.

I'm already aware that this makes for a lousy segue into Kim Kardashian's debut single Jam (Turn it Up) because 1) Kardashian isn't an actress, unless you count following the loose scripts of reality shows as "acting" and also because 2) Kardashian really has no identifiable talent whatsoever. Her notoriety is mostly as result of getting smanged by Brandy's little brother, her myriad surgically enhanced body parts[1], and all star lineup of assorted ballers and actors who've also smanged that. I'm a diehard NBA fan, yet even I couldn't tell you know her current boyfriend Kris Humphries plays for, let alone who he is. Shawty gets around.

That said, she is famous, whether it's for legitimate reasons or not. And part of the vanity of fame includes getting unearned opportunities that the rest of us could only dream about. Ergo, this debut single, which presumably will be merely the beginning of a long and prosperous career as a recording artist. Either that, or she owes The Dream for this track, Dallas Austin-style. I can't call it, and ain't really sure I care to.

Anyways, here's the goods, you be the judge.

Question: Jam It! or Slam It!?! Does Kim K have a future in the record bid'ness, or does she need to stick to her Day Job, whatever the heck that is?

[1] Jesus, would this chick lay off the facial reconstruction already? She's not old enough to be butchered her grill like that.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

What's On AB's iPod?!? - 5 Free Mixtapes You Should Probably Have On Your iPod.

Want some good hip hop music for free? These all come with the official co-sign. Cop these not now, but right now.
Actual Proof - The Free EP [1]

Phil Ade - The Letterman

Stalley - Lincoln Way Nights

HaLo - HeatWriter II

Mac Miller - K.I.D.S. [2]
Some of these are brand new, some of them are a few months old. All of em' are good. Get to downloadin'.

Question: Got any new good mixtapes that I missed?

[1] Also peep Act Proof's double mixtape The Talented Tenth.

[2] Miller's Best Day Ever drops later this week.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Blue Devils, Buckeyes, Jayhawks Are Teams To Beat.

This year’s college basketball betting favorites are no surprise as Duke, Kansas and Ohio State have been the best teams in the nation all season along (with Pittsburgh in the mix as well). Here is why you should consider wagering on the favorites, and maybe a reason why you shouldn’t.

Duke – They’re the defending national champions, they have a possible Player of the Year in Nolan Smith, and a player who is rounding into form in Kyle Singler, a preseason All-America. The Blue Devils have done well without freshman sensation Kyrie Irving, but Seth Curry has stepped up to soften the blow. One knock on the Blue Devils is that you can be physical with them, and if their three-points aren’t dropping, they can be in trouble.

Kansas – The Jayhawks’ depth leaves other teams drooling as they can rotate 10 players and not lose any production. They take good shots, can score inside and outside, they’re active defensively, and like the Blue Devils, they have a coach who has won a national title. Kansas’ major problems is that they can sometimes be undisciplined and they’re terrible at the foul line, but if they can fix those, the Jayhawks should win it all.

Ohio State – The Buckeyes are powered by freshman post extraordinaire Jared Sullinger, and he has a group of three-point shooters on the perimeter that rivals any team in the country. They’re a physical group out of the Big Ten who will bully you if you let them, and they’re a very good defensive team. Don’t be surprised to see a lot of fans make the trip from Columbus to Houston later this month.

Morality, Mormonism, And The Disposable College Athlete.

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I'm a strong proponent of paying college athletes in revenue generating sports. These guys make lots of other people rich, but are one blown knee away from finding themselves back home, unemployed, and living in their mother's basement. We all know that one guy from our home town who was supposed to make it to the league but never did. Except for a meaningless degree, these players often have little to show for their efforts.

On the other hand, if a player knowingly and blatantly violates team or school rules, he deserves nothing. It would be silly to assume that these kids are all saints. The police blotter and sports pages are littered with college athletes whose off-field problems made them liabilities to their schools. From stealing laptops, to date rape, to drug dealing in the dormitory, there's often an unsavory side of big time college athletics that needs to be weeded out. Most schools, however, are all about winning (no Charlie Sheen), and bend all sorts of rules to accommodate troublemakers. If a guy can score 20 a game, who cares if he might have cheated on a test or three? Just win, baby. It's the American way!

All that said, I'm a bit uneasy about this latest development at Brigham Young University.
BYU's dreams of a deep run in the NCAA tournament may have taken a major blow Tuesday when the third-ranked Cougars dismissed starting forward Brandon Davies from the team for the remainder of the season.

The school cited a violation of the school's honor code in announcing the move Tuesday evening. Davies, who grew up in Provo, had started 26 of 29 games for the Cougars and averaged 11.1 points and a team-leading 6.2 rebounds.

The 6-foot-9 sophomore was instrumental in helping contain San Diego State's forwards in the Cougars' 80-67 victory over then-No. 6 San Diego State on Saturday.

School officials said they became aware of the honor code violations Monday. His future with the team and the university has not yet been determined.
As you might expect, there's more to this story than initially meets the eye.
The girlfriend of Brandon Davies, the BYU forward who was kicked off the team for having pre-martial sex, has been revealed.

According to RadarOnline, Davies' girlfriend is Danica Mendivil, a freshman on the volleyball team at Arizona State University. A family member reportedly confirmed that she is Davies' girlfriend and that she is not pregnant.

BYU announced on Wednesday that Davies was dismissed from the team for violating the school's honor code. Later that evening, it was revealed that he was suspended after admitting to having sex with Mendivil.
I'm conflicted about this one. Yes, the school has a code of conduct, based largely on the Mormon religion. But Davies (to my knowledge) isn't Mormon. His girlfriend doesn't even go to the same school. Should the same rules of morality apply to him? I dunno.

I've been to Provo, and actually did some work at BYU once, many year ago. Contrary to public opinion, I found folks in Utah to be very welcoming, and generally good, friendly people. Sure, I got the occasional wayward look, probably because black people simply aren't a common occurrence there (I counted about 5 the entire week I was in the state), but nothing outwardly hostile like I've experienced in the deep South, or for that matter, the Northeast.[1] Some are undoubtedly going to make this a race issue, but I don't think those rules apply here. Davies (who grew up in Provo, apparently) should know more about Mormonism than most brothers, and certainly was well versed in the school's code of conduct before deciding to enroll there. There's really no excuse for what he did. Rules are rules.

You could probably argue that the school might have been a bit more discrete in handling this, rather than announcing to the world that Davies had violated a moral code of conduct (!), and I'd probably agree with you. But again, rules are rules.

With star guard Jimmer Fredette on the outside and Davies on the interior, #3 ranked BYU is having their best season evar (!) and was primed to go deep in the NCAA tournament before this. Kicking their best big man off the team probably means a quick one and done come March Madness. So for sacrificing wins in the name of principle, I suppose we should actually give BYU some credit. In the hypocritical world of college basketball, that's no small deal.

Question: Was Davies unfairly dropped from the team, or are rules rules?

[1] Massachusetts, despite its progressive image, certainly has its share of non-progressive people.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Can't We All Just Get Along?!?

It's hard to believe it, but 20 years ago, the brutal beating of Los Angeles motorist Rodney King at the hands of the LAPD sent racial shockwaves throughout the country. A subsequent trial found the offending officers not guilty, setting off days of rioting that forever changed the landscape of Southern California, and for that matter, the country.

To re-examine the case and its ripple effects on society two decades later, CNN presents a documentary on Rodney King entitled Race and Rage - The Beating of Rodney King. CNN anchor Don Lemon sits down with Rodney King 20 years later to retrace the events of that morning, and take a closer look at the riots that divided LA and the nation. They talk about King being a symbol of police brutality, take a visit to the scene, and report on King's life today.

Race and Rage – The Beating of Rodney King, debuts Friday, March 4 at 8:00p.m. ET and PT on CNN/U.S. It replays on Saturday, March 5 at 8:00p.m. ET and PT.

More Randon AB-ness.

No new posts today. Sorry, I've been working doubletime on my other side hustles.

Checkout my latest stuff @ AOL Black Voices.

Checkout my latest stuff @ TheLoop21.

Leave comments, please. Join the convo with a slightly different audience. I'll be back soon.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Ashy Or Classy?!? - My ***** Be Yankin'.

Let's face it, low as the commercial cRap music game is right now, things can only go up from here. I mean, between Lil' B, that "Toot It & Boot It" song, and whatever Hoe Hop™ song is currently poppin', it's not like we can reach any more creative valleys. Commercial cRap music been dead.

That said, every now and then, I come across something so bad it surprises even me, and believe me when I tell you I listen to a lot of bad music. So trust me when I say this one's right up there.

Go have a look and come back once you're done, assuming you make it past the 20 second mark.

[Editor's Warning: While nothing in this video is unsafe for work, it's just a wee bit over the top for me to run here on the front page. So, you'll need to scoot over to Les YouTubes if you have any interest in following the comments for this one. Sorry, but I gotta look out for my 9-to-5ers. I don't want anyone getting canned over me.]

Okay, now that you're back, lets count everything wrong with this musical abortion...

1) What the ham sammich is "yankin'"? Is this another case of just making up a word to see if it sticks, or do women actually go around extolling the yankeristic values of their goodies? Seeing that this "rapper" is affiliated with Plies, another guy who takes obscure regional slang (ie: his name) and makes it mainstream, I'm compelled to guess that this is a regular part of hoodrat lingo down in Ft. Myers.

2) I didn't know it was possible for a woman to have a more annoying voice than that one politician from Alaska, but this chick takes the cake. Congrats, sista.

3) Is it really necessary to have a bunch of dudes walking around in they drawls? Okay, ladies, I already know how hypocritical that sounds. Don't remind me.

4) Four Loko?!? Really?

5) Pickles?!? Really?

6) Being the least attractive woman in your video = #careerFAIL!!!

7) Flaming Hot Cheetos?!? Really?

8) Personally, I blame Michelle Obama.

9) Ok, no need to lie, I sorta like this song.

Question: Ashy or Classy?!? It "***** Be Yankin'" gonna make it to your iPod playlist, or is this some straight up trash with no redeeming artistic value whatsoever?!? Does "Lady" need to head back to her 3rd shift at Strokers, or should Everest College be in her immediate future plans instead?!?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Armchair Obama™ - Entitlement Reform.

Lets face it, at some point in the future there won't be any social nets for the elderly. The question is exactly when this'll happen. Perhaps during my Mom's lifetime. Probably during mine. Definitely during my kids'. It's not an if, it's a when. The reason why is simple: providing financial assistance and medical benefits to people who no longer pay into the system means someone will eventually end up on the a$$ end of the pyramid. It's basic supply and demand.

Just in case you're unaware, here's what our current annual budget outlay looks like.


Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid account for more than 2/5ths of our country's annual expenditures. With people living longer thanks to advances in medicine, this will only become a bigger strain in the future. Of course, just because people are retired doesn't mean they don't still vote, so entitlements are considered the proverbial 3rd rail in American politics. Despite chest thumping from the Tea Party and lip service by President Obama, nobody's had the stones to tell grandma she'll need to get by on a few hundred less a month and buy her own heart medication. That would be the figurative career suicide. Nobody's that hardbody.

On the flipside, something's gotta be done. The question is what. Play Armchair Obama™ and go in on this issue below. Please note, this discussion shouldn't be about the deficit in general. We've already cooked that goose. Stick to entitlements and entitlements only.

Question: Without over analyzing other items (ie: defense) in the annual budget, what specifically needs to be done about Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid? Again, please do not dwell on other items. Stick to these entitlements only and tell me what changes need to be made for these programs to be sustained. Do these programs even need to be continued?