Monday, December 5, 2011 Guest Post - The Day The Cooning Died: Herman Cain “Suspends” Presidential Campaign.

[Editor's Note: I too saw Herman Cain's disgraceful exit from the candidacy in real time Saturday, but then I clicked back over to the UNC/Kentucky game and totally forgot about writing a post about it. Thankfully, my cyber homie RiPPA did. Here are his thoughts, which are pretty much my thoughts as well. As usual, show our guest some love, you-know-where.]

So it was with great anticipation that I awaited Herman Cain’s big announcement today. Not that I supported him, his platform, or anything he had rto say. Instead, the blog author in me wanted to see if this most recent gift from the political comedy Gods would fade to Black. Would he stay? Would he leave? Would he join the Miami Heat? These were all the thoughts twirling around in my head. I figured as much as he loved the media attention, there was no way that he would drop out of the race. Let’s face it, Herman Cain is like Sarah Palin with a penis; the more face time they get on camera, the more money they make. Sure they say that their aspirations are fueled in the interest of we the people. But I’m sorry, ain’t n’aan one of them fools ever paid a bill in my household. Instead, in their infinite narcissism their’s no such thing as bad press, if it makes you money.

As the time drew closer, I wondered if Herman Cain would disappoint me by actually dropping out. Sure his campaign was now all but in full Rigor mortis since Ginger White announced their thirteen year affair. An affair which saw the exchange of money all unknown to Mrs. Gloria Cain, the wife of my latest political humorist motivation. An affair within which Cain has denied any sexual improprieties. I suppose one can conclude that it was strictly platonic, and Ginger wasn’t one to be doing something strange for a lil’ piece of change. But after all the hype of all the speakers and prayer leading up to Cain’s appearance all with the carefully planned embrace of wife Gloria in tow. Herman Cain did what I feared: he dropped out. Then again, maybe he’ll be back. He did after all “suspend” his campaign, no? Maybe that’s me not wanting to see him go; he can come back, no?

So what did Hermsan Cain do today? Well, aside from suspending his campaign, and setting Black folks back seventy five years when it comes to politics, he failed. He failed to convince anyone that he was indeed serious about running for president. He failed to shake all accusations that he was in it to sell books and make money by promoting his so-called Plan B of setting up a website to solicit donations. Donations from the very people who he successfully tricked into believing that he was the real deal. Let’s be honest: Herman Cain took a lot of money from white folks and ran. And even in the end, as his arrogance became a bit too overbearing for Black folks like myself. He reminded everyone that he was Black by referencing an era of segregation he grew up in. An era which he most recently proudly described himself to be a bystander who proudly sat on the sidelines, while others toiled. Yes Herman Cain has made many mistakes as he said in his speech today.

The ultimate mistake he made, however, was not a thirteen year affair with a woman outside of his marriage. That wasn’t a mistake, that was a choice. His mistake however, was thinking that he would be able to to continue lying and gaining favor with the very people who supported him. But then again, that might not be a mistake because they are in fact who they are. Just like Herman, they’re ideologically bankrupt, and as he has shown, they tend to place a premium on ignorance. That being said, you can best believe there’ll be no more Herman Cains coming forth to represent the GOP in politics on a national stage. I could be wrong, but the antics of Mr. Cain, in my opinion, has made it harder for members of the Black Republican fold to ever be trusted. But then again, even they may be of the opinion that what happened to Cain was indeed the result of Liberal racist attacks meant to destroy the character of a Black man who happens to be a Republican. The funny thing, is that let them tell it, racism is dead. However, the racist Liberal media is alive and well.

Sorry Herman, you can blame the media, you can blame it on racism, but at the end of the day, you have nobody to blame but yourself. As bad as I hate to see Herman go, as a Black man, I am relieved to know that we will no longer be witness to his cooning, and the shucking and jiving Minstrel we have known him to be.; and that he has become. He can say that his string of allegations has been painful for his family, and this might be true.

But the existence of the Herman Cain campaign as it were, was a big insult to the intelligence and aspirations of Black folks across America. You can cite all his accomplishments in life if you like, but life was a lot better for us all before this clown came into our lives. And here’s to hoping nobody gives him a Reality TV show. Lord knows I can’t handle him or Eddie Long getting one called, “Pimpin’, Preachers, & Politicians: The Lyin’-Ass Negro Show”.

If you feel like watching the 10lb bag of fail that is his drop out speech, catch it below. Good bye Mr. Cain, and I wish you and yours well. It was fun while it lasted, but thankfully, the foolishness has come to an end. It’s just too bad that your dropping out had nothing to do with the idea that someone not wanting to see you become president. No seriously, nobody really thought you would have won the nomination, much less become president. C’mon, Herman; even you knew it .

For me, I would have rather seen you exit stage left upon the realization that America finally understood you to be the idiot that you are politically. Instead, you go out for being an arrogant buffoon without any game or ability to pull the ladies; as well as, being an “alleged: serial sexual harasser, and thirteen year trick daddy juiced by a white woman. But I understand: when it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Heaven forbid if a mulatto child who repeats the phrase 9-9-9 should surface any day now asking why you weren’t at his birthday party with the black walnut ice cream. If character is what’s seen when nobody is looking; unfortunately for Herman Cain, we’ve seen enough. And sadly depending on how you l;ook at it, we know just who he is.

Question: What's next for Daddy Green? Is the joke actually on us (and his wife)?!? Was his "Plan B" actually his "Plan A" all along? Is it somewhat ironic that by "suspending" his campaign, he can use your hardearned taxpayer dollars to help pay off his campaign debt?!?

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