Wednesday, November 30, 2011

5 Play Thursday - Five Songs Herman Cain Can Sing To Make Voters Forget These Latest Allegations.

There's a great chance Herman Cain drops out of the race any moment now, which would make this post utterly pointless. But hey, assuming he does stay in, he's gonna need to somehow win back the support of all those Real Americans who have jumped off the Cain Train in the wake of myriad allegations of sexual impropriety. He's sorta made a name of sangin' gospel songs (by request!) on the campaign trail, which I suppose was part of this appeal in the first place. So what better time to spontaneously bust out into song now?

This very special edition of 3 Play Thursday provides a few very timely and very appropriate suggestions:

Shaggy - "It Wasn't Me!"

When it doubt, deny, deny, deny. Cain's defense to this point have been to accuse every one of his accusers of lying. Why stop now? Sure, I have faux dancehall just as much as you, but this song gets played on cruise ships, so there's a good chance Real Americans will know it, cause Real Americans love cruises.

Shirley Murdock - "As We Lay"

Since these latest allegations actually appear to have some corroborating evidence, the "deny deny deny" tactic might now work. Why not belt out this classic R&B tune about the allure, and consequences of having an affair? This is a pretty challenging song to master, but Cain's an ordained minister, and actually can sang. Plus, he's old, so there's a good chance he knows this song by heart.

TS Monk - "Can't Keep My Hands To Myself"

Claiming you fell prey to forces far larger than your own power is a good way to excuse bad behavior. Look how many people have blamed their indiscretions on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol? You can claim you're a serial groper whose disease simply hasn't been diagnosed yet. It's sorta "blame the victimy", sure, but it also casts you as a victim. And if there's anything the GOP loves lately, it's people who play the victim role. Personal responsibility, shmersonal shermonsibility. Bonus Suggestion: you can even claim that ObamaCare prevented your ailment from being properly diagnosed. #winning

E-40 - "Captain Save A Pro"

Cain claims he was just helping out a friend in dire financial straits. For the better part of a decade. That's not financial assistance. That's called "savin' em'". This song will help explain that whole concept, Herm.

Quad City DJ's - "Come On Ride That Train"

I'm still unsure why this isn't already Cain's official campaign song. It should be. Assuming he stays, this must happen. This needs to happen. It's also a popular song at football games and Real Americans love football. Just drop the track, and stand back. Soon as they hear that "whoot whoot", they'll be back on your side.

Question: Got any tunes you might recommend for Herman Cain's comeback playlist?!?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Rest In Peace Patrice O'Neal.

Comedy lost one of it's legends today. I realize how silly it sounds to refer to a 41 year old man as a legend, but seriously, as a connoisseur of standup comedians, this guy was that good.
Patrice O'Neal, a fixture in the New York comedy scene for two decades who was most recently seen in the Comedy Central Roast Of Charlie Sheen, has passed away according to sources close to the comedian.

Talk show host Opie of the Opie & Anthony Radio Show tweeted this morning, "Yes, it's true that our pal Patrice O'Neal has passed away. The funniest and best thinker I've ever known PERIOD."

O'Neal suffered a stroke in October after a long battle with diabetes. The announcement about his condition was made by a group of his comedian friends and peers on the popular Sirius radio show, but few details have been made known since then at the wishes of his family.
I only saw him in person a few times, but his ability to just wing it and do an entire set off the top of his head is pretty much unrivaled. Hilarious and unique takes on regular everyday subjects were his staple.

Rest in peace, Patrice.

The Herman Cain Train Is (Finally) Derailed.

A few weeks ago, when Herman Cain was ridin' high atop the GOP polls, I predicted a swift, disgraceful, and very public downfall was just around the corner. Even then, Cain's sense of nausea inducing pride and willingful ignorance with basic questions of national security told me he'd fall, and fall hard. Sure enough, GropeGate™ did the job, and Cain's quickly fallen back to the middle of the pack in most polls. I still don't really understand why he was even atop the polls for any period of time in the first place, but hey, I'm not a Real American. I'm prolly brainwashed too.

In an a textbook instance of "piling on after the whistle", yet another woman has come forth claiming she took a ride on The Cain Train, but this time, the feeling was apparently mutual.
An Atlanta woman said Monday that she engaged in an extended consensual affair with Herman Cain that began after a business meeting in the 1990s, continued as he flew her from city to city for dates and ended eight months ago — as Cain launched his presidential campaign.

In an interview with Fox News in Atlanta, Ginger White offered details of what she said was a 13-year relationship with Cain, sharing cellphone records that showed repeated calls and text messages from a number she said belongs to the presidential contender.

Cain denied the accusations. In an interview that aired before White’s allegations were broadcast, Cain told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that he knows White and that the two had been friends but that there had been no sexual contact and no “affair.” He characterized their relationship as “trying to help a friend” because of her “not having a job etcetera and this sort of thing.”

White did not respond to phone calls and e-mails Monday night. She said in the television interview that she met Cain in the late ’90s at a meeting in Louisville, when he was president of the restaurant association. They had drinks, she said, and he invited her to his hotel room, where he pulled out a calendar and suggested that she meet him in Palm Springs, Calif.

White, who has worked as a fitness instructor, has been embroiled in conflicts that have led to court intervention. According to Georgia court records, she faced civil actions for nonpayment of rent. A former business partner, Kimberly Vay, sued White this year after a dispute that began when White wrote disparaging comments about Vay in a mass e-mail — comments that White recanted four months later as part of a legal settlement.

The Fox affiliate described White as an unemployed, single mother of two.

The Cain campaign was alerted to the accusation by the television reporter, who had interviewed White over the weekend. White gave the reporter Cain’s private cellphone number — which appeared 61 times on her phone records over four months. When the reporter sent a text message to the number, Cain called back and said he knew White but had not had an affair with her.

On Monday, the candidate’s denial of the affair differed from a statement issued by his attorney, which said Cain has no obligation to answer questions about it.

Cain said repeatedly that there was no truth to White’s allegations of having stayed with him at the Ritz-Carlton in Atlanta’s Buckhead neighborhood or elsewhere. “We chased all of these other rumors for two weeks before, and as it turned out they were baseless . . . so we will address these when they come out. But at this point, I want to give you a heads-up. I don’t have anything to hide,” Cain said on CNN.

He said that he does not plan to drop out of the race but that his wife would have the final say.
Look, you can deny lots of things. He said/she said stories from a decade ago are one thing. Text messages at 4am just two months ago is quite another. There's really no way Cain can explain his way outta this one. He says he was trying to "help a friend" who had some financial trouble. If "helping a friend" means financially supporting a woman who has been mostly unemployed for the past decade, I'd say she's a lot more than a friend, Herm.

BTW, Herman, please fire your lawyer. That statement he issued was the classic non-denial denial, and contradicts everything you said on CNN. Fire him now.

BTW, ladies, 13 years isn't an affair. It's polygamy. Moving right along...

I'm not gonna paint Ms. White as a victim here. She willingly laid down with a married man and did the horizontal Dougie for 13 years. There's nothing admirable about being a kept chick on the side. Thankfully, she isn't being extra boastful with hers, and there's no Gloria Allred. But them "I'm pure" pearls she's wearing around her neck.... no m'aam.

I suspect Cain will announce the end of his campaign by week's end. There's no way his wife was aware that he was getting his Kwame Kilpatrick on as recently as a couple of months ago. The Cain Train has some explainin' to do, and boy, would I hate to be in that guy's shoes right now. He, at one point, represented the GOP's high hopes for reaching out to minorities. Now, he's just another unemployed black man who cheats on his wife. Lovely.

Thanks for the ride, Daddy Green, it's been real.

Question: Will Herman Cain step down after these salacious allegations? Do you think his wife was aware of Ms. White? How can Conservatives morally pillage Cain for this, yet vote for Newt Gingrich, who has essentially done the same thing?

Name That Sample - "Over Like A Fat Rat".

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This mostly forgettable 80's song by Fonda Rae has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Moderate.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Over Like A Fat Rat" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Monday, November 28, 2011 Hot Topics - 11.28.11

Here's the daily rundown, with headlines taken from links you sent in/suggested.

The NBA Lockout Is Finally Over!!! - Okay, who was I kidding? I'll be back. Trying to watch hockey and college basketball to fill the void wasn't working. #LetUsPlay

Michelle Bachmann vs The Roots - I thought Jimmy Fallon's house band did a grave disservice to themselves and Rep. Bachmann with that classless intro they gave her last week. Under no circumstances is it okay to refer to a woman as a "b*tch". Period.

That said, Bachmann is milking this one waaaay too much, angling for an apology from the President of NBC. She's now using this unfortunate incident as a political ploy. Which is in some ways, almost as nauseating as The Roots initial infraction.

Black Friday Fisticuffs - I've yet to truly comprehend why people get out of bed at 2am to go stand in line for hours, all just to save $15 off a blender, but 226M Americans opened their wallets on Black Friday, making this the biggest spending weekend of all time. Recession? What recession?!?

Question: What do you think about these issues?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Thanksgiving Holiday Open Mic.

The blog's on hiatus till Monday, unless something totally bloggable happens. Enjoy your holidays. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind?

Name That Sample - "Walking Into Sunshine".

Yep, it's back!!! Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This relatively obscure song by British funk band Central Line has been sampled numerous times, most notably in a corny but memorable early 90's rap song. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Easy as pie. My 3 year old could probably guess this one. No lie, I just included it because I'm on this Euro-funk R&B binge lately and this song's stuck in my head.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Walking Into Sunshine" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Nearly Half Of US Congressmen And Senators Are Millionaires. What's Wrong With This Picture?!?

Sometimes, I wonder why folks bother running for elected office. The hours are long. You open your family up to incredible scrutiny. The money's good, but the job security isn't, especially if you're just a Congressman. And of course, the system's so unfixably broken, even the most starry eyed optimist can be quickly reduced to cynicism. You know, sorta like watching the Redskins play.

Still, each year, hundreds of Real Americans put their hats in the ring to gain one of only 530-some coveted gigs in DC. Some of them undoubtedly do it for the financial come-up (ie: TeaBagging douche extraordinaire Joe Walsh) while others are already caked up, and use the gig to influence legislation and ensure they'll get caked up even more. Meet the public servant's version of The 1%.
Forget Wall Street. With riches like these, “Occupy Congress” may make more sense.

That’s because 250 members of Congress — or 47 percent — have a net worth of more than $1 million, according to a new study by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics.

The study, which analyzed data from legislators’ financial disclosure forms, found the average senator had a net worth of about $2.63 million last year. That’s up 11 percent from $2.38 million in 2009 and 16 percent from $2.27 million in 2008.

“The vast majority of members of Congress are quite comfortable financially, while many of their own constituents suffer from economic hardships,” Sheila Krumholz, executive director of the Center for Responsive Politics, said in a statement.

Some have suggested the dizzying financial success enjoyed by members of Congress is about more than luck, or even good business sense. Peter Schweizer, a fellow with the conservative Hoover Institution, has said lawmakers profit from a kind of “insider trading” that might get them in trouble outside the halls of Congress.

“There are all sorts of forms of honest grafts that congressmen engage in that allow them to become very, very wealthy. So it’s not illegal, but I think it’s highly unethical, I think it’s highly offensive, and wrong,” Schweizer, the author of “Throw Them All Out,” a book accusing congressmen of using their influence and connections to make smart investments, said in an interview with CBS’ “60 Minutes” this month.

“For example, insider trading on the stock market,” he said. “If you are a member of Congress, those laws are deemed not to apply.”

Even without exact figures, however, it’s clear that as most Americans struggled in recent years, contending with high unemployment rates and plummeting home values, Congress has only gotten richer. Last year, the combined net worth of Congress skyrocketed to more than $2 billion — a 25 percent increase from 2008, according to a separate look at the lawmakers’ earnings from the Washington newspaper Roll Call.

Meanwhile, the average U.S. family lost 23 percent of its net worth between 2007 and 2009, according to figures released by the Federal Reserve this year.

That said, some members of Congress do considerably better than others. Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., topped the list with an estimated net worth of somewhere between $195 million and $700 million, for example, while Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Fla., is apparently the poorest member of Congress, with estimated total net debt of between $2 million and $7 million. According to the study, though, 110 Democrats and 140 Republicans in Congress are millionaires.

Look, I'd be the last person to discourage people from getting rich. It's sorta the American Dream and whatnot. Even if you're born into wealth, reality is, being rich sure as hell beats being late on your Verizon bill. I'd much rather own Verizon.

Still, it's not all that shocking that folks on Capitol Hill can drag their feet extending unemployment benefits, threaten to shutdown the government (although they'd still get paid if that happened), and basically hijack the entire legislative process to ensure rich people keep this Bush tax cuts. It's because most of them either have no point of reference to the day to day struggles of "Real Americans" or are so far removed that it doesn't really matter. It's why a Presidential candidate can actually suggest using child labor to solve the issue of inner city poverty with a straight face. If I was getting $30k/hour to serve as "historian" for Freddie and Fannie, I'd probably be equally clueless, Newt. It's alright, we understand. Sorta.

I think you'd find far more principled, effective people running for Congress if you made it a job with term limits (3 for the House, 1 for Senate) and greatly decreased the pay and perks. Maybe folks like Darrell Issa would find better things to do with their time. You know, like laying on a bed full of $700 million one dollar bills.

BTW, Alcee Hastings, how in the ham sammich did you rack up between $2M and $7M in debt?!? Please retire your dusty, broke ass right now and go call The Hulkster.

That commercial always kills me. Hulk's talkin' about "it's tough out there" while sitting in a 30 story condo overlooking Biscayne Bay. Yep, real tough out here, brother. Real tough.

Question: Is there an inherent conflict of interest when you're a multimillionaire holding elected office? Is it possible to understand "the little guy" when you've got the net worth of an NFL franchise?

Monday, November 21, 2011 Open Mic Monday.

Busy trying to clear the deck for the holidays, so new posts will prolly be light this week. Anyways, here's your open mic. Speak on it.

A few items of note...

Not-So-Super Committee - Obama's hand-picked band of problem solvers hit stalemate in debt reduction exercise, which will trigger billions in cuts across the board. Lovely.

Newt's Master Plan To Solve Negro Poverty - Fire union janitors and hire child labor to clean urban schools. No, seriously, that's the plan. To his credit, however, at least he does have a clearly outlined plan (despite its comical array of flaws) for combatting urban poverty. You can't quite say the same for a certain inhabitant of the White House.

FLOTUS Booed At NASCAR Event - Uh seriously, Real America, is this what its come to? Did Michelle-O do anything to deserve this?

And of course, she was there to support the families of wounded military vets. But that doesn't matter to the wingnuts, who think this sort of treatment is perfectly fine.

Redskins Choke Vs Cowboys - Wowzers, what a dreadful game. Could we have some NBA, please!

Question: What's on your mind today?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Common's "Thug Rap" Song.

I, like most hip hop heads, also used to love Common. No pause necessary. From his debut Can I Borrow A Dollar in the early 90's, dude was one of the purest emcees out, and a true guardian of "the culture". Along with The Roots, Mos Def, and Taalib Kweli, the artist formerly known as Common Sense was one of the few artists purists like me could site as a stock rebuttal when people talked about how cruddy cRap music was.

Fast forward a decade, and Common's now perhaps better known as a Hollywood B-lister who has starred in such movies as Date Night, Just Wright, and Terminator Salvation. Rap-wise, his career took a turn for the worse with the disastrous Electric Circus, but he's seen a revival of sorts in recent years after linking up with Kanye West. Musically, he's far from his "Soul By The Pound" roots nowadays, preferring to make cotton candy tunes that get sold in your nearest Starbucks. Oh yeah, and there was that comical White House episode, which we won't bother to go into here.

While his recent brush up with the Conservative press probably elevated Comm's Q-rating, it probably didn't help his ego to be defended so vigorously as one of the most non-threatening rappers this side of Young MC. And quicker than you can say "The B*tch In Yoo", Common's back with a new album and new "street single" called "So Sweet" in which he tries to convince you he's (still) Petey Wheatstraw From The Southside Of Chicago.

Boy, where do I begin? Look, I get it. You probably got tired of being labelled as the romantic comedy guy, and wanted to show folks you could still get hardcore if you needed. But this sh*t, well, this is just borderline comedy. Mean mugging in what's probably a $350 designer skullcap? Riding on the back and top of a garbage truck? Menacing dark skinned Caribbean "thugs"? Machetes? Seriously, dude?

While I'll admit I liked the not-so-subliminal Drake diss, all the wayward cursing was just a little too much. So was calling dude "Sweet", which is, well, a homosexual slur, and that doesn't go over too well in Hollyweird. I'm already counting the days until Common has to issue a tearful, Tracy Morgan-style apology. You just know it's coming.

Sorry folks, this is Ashy. Common, please stick to acting. Leave the fake thuggery to Rick Ross.

Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Is Common's attempt to go back to "the hood" a convincing acting gig, or is this downright Comm-ical?!?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

WorkPlace 101: Is Your Boss A Bully?!?

Chalk this one up in the "I Can't Relate" column. Cause I can't.
Bullying isn’t limited to colleges or even classroom. It happens everywhere. In fact, more adults are reporting being bullied at work.

Now, New York State is taking steps to help employees fight back, reports CBS 2’s Kristine Johnson.

Experts say an adult bully could be a boss, a manager and even a colleague, but their behavior isn’t much different from a bully in the school yard.

We hear about kids bullying each other all the time, but a new survey shows 1 in 6 adults are being bullied in the workplace.

“Verbal abuse, work sabotage, social and physical isolation,” said Mike Schlicht, co-coordinator for New York Healthy Workplace Advocates.

Schlicht said the bullying he endured at his job was so bad he dreaded going to work each day.

“The person does eventually get to the end of their capabilities to cope with the situation,” Schlicht said.

Maria Morrissey’s brother, Kevin, committed suicide last year after years of bullying at his job as an editor.

“He said ‘please tell everyone I’m sorry, but I simply can’t bear it anymore,’” Maria said. “Kevin put a bullet through his head because I think that he thought that he had no choice.”

Two other New Yorkers — Jodie Zebell and Marlene Braun — have taken their lives as a direct result of office bullying.

Experts say in this economy employees often fear retaliation, so they don’t speak up.

“We found that there was no resolution for workplace bullying,” Schlicht said.

Schlicht’s bullying advocacy group has even proposed legislation that would require employers to intervene in these situations.

If you feel you’re being targeted by a bully at work, experts say keep a log of your interactions and file a complaint with your human resources department.
In my 16 years as a professional, I can't say I've ever experienced anything I'd classify as "bullying". Maybe the occasional d-bag boss, or a co-worker who didn't know enough about personal boundaries, but honestly, that's about it. What about you?

Question: Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?!?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Should A 10 Year Old Girl Be Charged With A Felony?!?

Scoot over, Latarian Milton! There's a new sheriff of pre-teen ratchetnes in The Sunshine State, and her name's Miesha Bryant.
A 10-year-old Florida girl is facing a felony charge for allegedly attacking her elementary school teacher and threatening the educator’s life. The assault, police report, was triggered when the teacher seized a bag of Halloween candy that the girl brought to class.

Fifth-grader Miesha Bryant was arrested last Tuesday after an Orange County Sheriff’s Office deputy was summoned to the girl’s classroom at Zellwood Elementary School. The child is pictured in the below mug shot.

According to a sheriff’s report, teacher Kelly Sanchez told investigators that she was holding the candy until the end of the day. At one point, Sanchez said, the girl “went behind her desk and took the bag of candy without her permission.” The child then began throwing pieces of candy at classmates, added Sanchez.

After Sanchez again confiscated the bag of candy, the girl “started throwing items” from the teacher’s desk. While Sanchez waited for a school resource officer to arrive, a deputy reported, Miesha struck the teacher in the stomach and side and “also stated that she would kill Ms. Sanchez and her family.”

The resource officer brought the girl to an assistant principal’s office. When a sheriff’s deputy later arrived at the Zellwood school, the 4’ tall, 80-pound Miesha was handcuffed and “being held down in a chair while she was screaming and flailing her legs around.” She was transported to a juvenile detention facility, where she was later released into her mother's custody.

In a TV interview, Sebrina Bryant said she was angered that Miesha was arrested for the incident, and did not believe her daughter would hit or threaten a teacher. But when a WFTV reporter asked the child why she threatened the teacher, the girl replied, “I was mad.”

The State Attorney's Office will soon decide whether Miesha will be prosecuted for battery (and a misdemeanor count of disrupting an educational institution) or whether she will be placed into a diversion program.
Here's the obligatory regional news story, courtesy of that bastion of Negro Nonsense, World Star Hip Hop.

Parents, we need to be honest about our kids and their capabilities. This mother is in serious denial. The kid's saying "she did it" all while Mom is saying "my baby wouldn't do that". Open up your eyes, Mom!

I, for one, am hoping this doesn't turn into another fullblown Jena Six/Troy Davis/Genarlow Wilson internets civil rights crusade. This little miscreant punched a teacher in the stomach, and she deserves whatever punishment the judicial system hands out.

Question: Does this child deserve a felony charge?!?

* Hat Tip to Bol.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 Open Mic Tuesday.

I'm in NYC today. Holla if you pass a brotha on the street. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Yo' Dad, Quit Playin' & Crank That Biggie, Sonn!!!

Okay, I'll admit, this is sorta funny.

No NBA Season.

I could say so much about this, but given how sick I am at this latest development, it's probably best that I don't.
The NBA players rejected the league's latest offer Monday and have begun the process to disband the union.

The decision likely jeopardizes the season.

"We're prepared to file this antitrust action against the NBA," union executive director Billy Hunter said. "That's the best situation where players can get their due process."

He said players were not prepared to accept the NBA Commissioner David Stern's ultimatum, saying they thought it was "extremely unfair."

"This is the best decision for the players," union president Derek Fisher said. "I want to reiterate that point, that a lot of individual players have a lot of things personally at stake in terms of their careers and where they stand. And right now they feel it's important — we all feel it's important to all our players, not just the ones in this room, but our entire group — that we not only try to get a deal done for today but for the body of NBA players that will come into this league over the next decade and beyond."

Fisher, flanked at a press conference by dozens of players including Kobe Bryant and Carmelo Anthony, said the decision was unanimous.

Stern had urged players to take the deal on the table, saying it's the best the NBA can offer and warned that decertification is not a winning strategy.

Over the weekend, he also said he would not cancel the season this week.

Regardless, damage has already been done, in many ways.

Financially, both sides have lost hundreds of millions because of the games missed and the countless more that will be wiped out before play resumes. Team employees are losing money, and in some cases, jobs. And both the NBA and NBPA eventually must regain the loyalty of an angered fan base that wonders how the league reached this low point after such a strong 2010-11 season.

The proposal rejected by the players called for a 50-50 division of basketball-related income and proposed a 72-game season beginning Dec. 15.

The previous CBA expired at the end of the day June 30. Despite a series of meetings in June, there was never much hope of a deal before that deadline, with owners wanting significant changes after saying they lost $300 million last season and hundreds of millions more in each year of the old agreement, which was ratified in 2005.

Owners wanted to keep more of the league's nearly $4 billion in basketball revenues to themselves after guaranteeing 57 percent to the players under the old deal. And they sought a system where even the smallest-market clubs could compete, believing the current system would always favor the teams who could spend the most.

Monday marked the 137th day of the lockout; the NFL lockout lasted 136 days.
Lovely. Just lovely.

On the bright side, I shouldn't have much of an issue getting a refund for that 21 game package now. Seriously, what could my sales rep say other than "here's your money back, Mr. Anderson"?

Question: Assuming you do still care about the NBA, were the players idiots for rejecting this latest offer? Do they have any idea what they're doing?

The Good Wife... Staring Gloria Cain.

[Editor's Note: I stand corrected. Cain's numbers have actually plummeted. The most recent CNN poll released today shows Cain now in a distant 3rd place. Romney holds a slight lead over soon-to-be flavor of the week, Newt Gingrich. Yep, GOP. You are officially screwed. So is the initial premise of this post. Lovely.]

Isn't it pretty amazing just how quickly Herman Cain's GropeGate™ scandal disappeared? I mean, seriously, (yet!) another Rick Perry brainfart was all it took. I don't even think SNL did a signature Cain sketch this weekend.[1] Dude went from sugar to sh*t and back to sugar quicker than Michael Vick.[2]

Last week when I gave my unsolicited advice to Mr. Cain, I stated that then prolly might have been a good time to play the "Wife Card". You know what I mean. Trot out your wife when in the midst of a sex scandal to reconnect with female voters and let them know you're not some monster, just a clueless guy who occasionally can't keep it in him pants and whatnot. Heck, it's a cliche so American, and so pervasive that there's an entire TV show that revolves around this concept. If you aren't up on CBS' brilliant The Good Wife, you should get familiar. It's only the best show on all of television, period!!!

With all that said, Cain has essentially weathered the storm. That story is old news, thanks to the aforementioned Rick Perry and some really sick & nasty dude named Jerry Sandusky. America has moved on, and although Cain's poll numbers with female voters have suffered as a result of these allegations, he remains very much a frontrunner, which is simply astonishing on about 102 levels.[3] Still, Cain felt the need to drop the "wife bomb" now.
In the first televised interview that Herman Cain gave two weeks ago to respond to allegations that he had sexually harassed and settled with two women while he was president of the National Restaurant Association, he played “the wife card,” revealing that his wife, Gloria Cain, would sit for an interview.

Scheduled to air Monday night at 10 p.m. Eastern time on Greta Van Susteren’s “On the Record,” (Fox News), the interview will add another voice, another layer, and another news cycle to a narrative that for two weeks has defined, yet not derailed, Cain’s quixotic campaign for president.

According to an early transcript provided by Fox News, Gloria Cain told Van Susteren that the allegations offer an unfamiliar and, she believes, inaccurate picture of the man she has known for 45 years.

Herman Cain and his advisers have insisted that the allegations are not only untrue, but that the swirling, he-said-she-said controversy has only helped his campaign. Recent poll numbers, and the $2.25 million that the Cain campaign has said it has raked in since the story broke, seem to back up their argument.

The roaring applause Cain got at the CNBC debate when he responded to the accusations also suggests some visceral support for Cain within the Republican base. He has become the lightning rod among hardcore Republicans, who believe he has been victimized by liberals and the media.

Yet as much as Cain and his supporters suggest that the allegations haven’t damaged the former Godfather’s CEO, there is clearly a fraying of support among Republican women. Cain currently has the support of 15 percent of Republican women, a drop of 13 percentage points since October.

Which is where Gloria Cain, potentially, comes in, serving as a kind of character witness for husband and validator for their marriage. But the ritual of a wife “standing by her man” is by now a cliche, and likely not as effective as it once was, Smith said.
Part of me thinks this is bad, bad strategic timing.

First and foremost, I feel for Mrs. Cain. This looks like a perfectly good chuuuch lady who probably wants no part of this story nor the limelight. She and her husband probably agreed that he could use this sham of a campaign to boost his speaking fees and take his radio show national, so long as she didn't have to do any media appearances (she hadn't until now). She is also a registered Democrat (according to him) so I'm sure there's that conflict as well. Now, this poor woman has gotta go full blown Alicia Florick, is about to be paraded in front of cameras, is forced to lie about her husband not gropin' all those blondes (seriously, what did you expect her to say?) and I'm sure the opposition (#TeamPerry) is already looking into her background to see if there's any Jeremiah Wright-style preacher distraction looming.

Sadly, all of this could have been avoided had Cain just fessed up initially, but obviously blaming the media (and liberals) was a calculated move that worked. Which is why still parading his wife out there after the fact seems odd. What's there to really gain, other than putting a story most people have already forgotten back in the media cycle, and placing a bullseye firmly on this kind woman's forehead?

Nice move, Daddy Green. The really Daddy Green woulda never put Mama Green out there like that.

Question: Is this a bad tactical move by the Cain campaign? Ladies, if you were Mrs. Cain, would you stand by your man, or make that bama answer for his own BS? Do you watch The Good Wife?!?

[1] Sorry Kenan. I get the weird feeling that your time on SNL is limited.

[2] Uh, actually Vick might technically be back to sh*t mode right now. 3-6? Losing to the Cardinals' backup QB? Dang Philly, what's good?

[3] Seriously, think about it. Given this country's history, what's the likelihood that a mostly white electorate would side with a black man, who has essentially been accused of making unwanted sexual advances on a half dozen white women? I mean, seriously, what's the likelihood? This, is why I'm more convinced than ever that Cain will win the GOP nomination. And lose to Obama. Badly. Terribly. Epically.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Rick Perry Implodes. Herman Cain Stays #Winning.

You sorta have to feel for Rick Perry. You really do. The man's not terribly smart, and his relatively solid legislative record is inflated because of the state he just so happens to govern. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to run the state of Texas? With all that oil, it's practically impossible to not have a good economy. Perry is about as responsible for all that low-wage job creation as Adam Morrison was for all those Lakers championships.

Anyways, all this, and George Bush's two inexplicable terms, clearly gassed this guy up to the point that he thought he too could be President. He didn't realize that Bush's "regular guy with regular intelligence" model doesn't work anymore (or does it?) and figured he'd just cruise through those GOP debates. Wrong, of course. After jumping to the top of the polls once he declared, Rick Perry's quest for the White House has been marred by a series of fails, each increasingly more epic than the prior. But his meltdown during Wednesday's debate was so astounding, not only has it probably ethered his campaign, it has journalists scrambling for some scientific explanation for how terrible is was.
It was the Hoover Dam of mental blocks. Pundits referred to it as a “brain freeze” or a “gaffe.” In Internet parlance, it was an “epic FAIL.” But to neuroscientists, what happened to Texas Gov. Rick Perry Wednesday night looked like something very ordinary, exacerbated by stress: a “retrieval failure.”

It happens more often as we age. But the brain scientists say it shouldn’t be seen as evidence of an intellectual deficit or some medical problem. Instead, they say, retrieval failures offer a glimpse into how the brain does and doesn’t work, not just in the skulls of presidential candidates but for everyone else, too.

It’s impossible to know what exactly was happening inside Perry’s head at the Republican presidential debate, and the pundit class will continue to debate whether it was a neurological hiccup or a telling sign of a candidate who doesn’t know his own policies. What’s certain is that, at a crucial moment, on stage, live on national television, Perry could not remember the name of one of the federal agencies he would like to abolish.

Once he started to flounder, he probably found himself entangled with unhelpful thoughts, suggested David Diamond, a behavioral neuroscientist at the University of South Florida. In a stressful moment like this, the mind turns to the consequences of the error, making an elegant recovery all the harder.

“Even though Rick Perry’s life was not being threatened, his brain was responding as if there was a lion in the audience about to pounce on him,” Diamond said. “He’s now got the media pouncing on him.”
Wow, “retrieval failure", huh?

If this was a Obama, they'd call him "dumb", but I get the point. Personally, I don't think this is the sort of thing that should disqualify someone. It was a simple "blackout". It happens to me all the time at work, frequently in front of customers. Since I actually do know what I'm talking about (unlike Perry), occasionally getting stumped as I'm "choosing my words" doesn't seem to kill my credibility. Thus, I've got a little sympathy for Governor GoodHair. Sadly, GOP voters don't seem to. He was already doing Pawlenty numbers before this latest meltdown, it this probably spells the end of the road for The Ricker. Enjoy N*ggerHead, buddy! You'll have plenty of time for huntin' and fishin' there soon.

Oh, and BTW, did Herman Cain get off the hook quickly or what?
Funny how Rick Perry's Epic Fail has totally knocked Daddy Green off Page One. I mean, seriously, dude was damn near looking like Tiger Woods the other day, Perry goes out and freezes up on national TV, and Cain's suddenly old news. He has used this controversy to raise racks on rack on racks in campaign donations, and is still leading the polls in most battleground states. Heck, he's even extending his lead in many polls.

BTW, Cain accuser Karen Kraushaar is now saying that since the two other NRA accusers aren't willing to come forward, she probably will not have that Grope-O-Rama™ joing press conference after all. Give Cain credit for understanding his constituency. Conservatives hate "the lamestream media" even more than they hate sexual harassment. By playing the serial victim, dude has pulled off the amazing feat of getting white folks to side with him, even though he allegedly sexually harassed white women!!!!! That, my friends, is what you call pimpin' the game!

That Cain vs Obama matchup is looking more likely by the day. I told ya'll that brotha was made of Teflon!

Question: Was Perry's gaffe really all that serious? Is Cain the luckiest man alive?

Should Kim Kardashian Be Starring In A Tyler Perry Movie?!?

[Editor's Note: Yes, you I and should prolly file this one under "Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?", but I didn't create such a tag yet.]

Given Tyler Perry's status as Hollywood's current biggest earner, far be it from me to question the man's business acumen. He makes millions peddling C-grade movies to lonely single black women churchgoers. I typically end up paying to watch said movies. So yeah, joke's definitely on me.

If there's one thing I can give Perry, it's that he usually does a decent job of mixing well known (ie: Angela Bassett) actors with under the radar (ie: Tasha Smith) talent. In an odd way, he does actually give quite a few black folks who might otherwise be working a Sizzler their shot at the big screen. These people are generally decent/competent actors, although you could probably look at the coontastic cast of "Meet The Browns" and disagree. I prolly wouldn't argue with you on that one.

That said, the "controversy" brewing around the casting decision for his latest movie sorta rubs me the wrong way.
Kim Kardashian has arrived in Atlanta to film scenes for Tyler Perry’s upcoming movie, “The Marriage Counselor.” Some of Perry’s fans want the reality show personality off the project.

A number of comments from Perry’s website demonstrate some folks’ desire to see Kardashian, who just filed for divorced 72 days after her made-for-TV wedding, gone.

“Kim Kardashian in your movie? Why have you stooped this low?” one person posted.

Wrote another: “I believe it is against your better judgment to have Kim Kardashian star as a supporting actress in your upcoming movie. You still have a moral responsibility to your supporters to maintain a level integrity when in comes to casting your movies. I have to boycott this film if Kim Kardashian is part of this project.”

And another: “Mr. Perry when I first heard that you had select Kim to star in a role in one of your movies I dismissed it as typo. I’m not sure what you expect her to bring to your set.”

Other posters sounded more supportive, or at least less outraged. One sounded resolved yet irritated: “Well Tyler, since you are going ahead and keep Kim Kardashian in your new movie in spite of how your fans feel tells it all. You’re beginning to sound arrogant. I felt so proud of how hard you work and how connected you are to your fan base. I don’t see it as your fans telling you what to do and feel like we can because of our undying support, but dang TP, Kardashian does not fit.”
Okay, black women folks, I'm gonna call bullsh*t on this one.

Look, I get it. Kim K's already not exactly a fan favorite to lots of sistas because she "dates" a lot of high profile black men. So there's that. I'm thinking quite a bit of the criticism is reflective of such sentiment, whether sistas are willing to admit it or not.

But seriously, this isn't The Color Purple. This is another lousy Tyler Perry movie that's gonna be on TBS before the NBA Finals are over (as if!). Kardashian isn't the first non-talented person to get a starring movie role, and won't be the last. Perry knows his formula, and putting Kim K on those movie posters is probably going to bring in an entirely new audience to witness the coonery. This is all about a brotha trying to get ahead. Don't hate. If you don't like it, for the love of baby Jesus, please do not pay to see this movie. Go read a book, or learn Excel formulas, or something more productive with your time.


"Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?"

I'm just sayin'.

Question: Should Kim K be starring in a Tyler Perry Joint? Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Eff' A NBA Lockout!!! The Season's Being Simulated.

By the time ya'll read this, the NBA's lockout will either be lifted, or the entire season will probably be scrapped. David Stern's hardline "take it or leave it" negotiating tactic probably isn't the best approach, but given the shortage of $5M/year jobs, if I'm the players, I'd prolly take it. I mean, seriously, we're talking a 1% difference between the two sides here. Don't these dumb dumbs realize they games they've already forfeited probably add up to the missing 1%? Or maybe they don't teach basic math when you're a physical education major.

Anyways, it's amazing to me that the players don't realize they're the ultimate losers here. When games resume, sure, attendance is going to be lighter because casual fans have been turned off by this millionaire vs billionaire pissing match. And guess who'll bear the brunt of the cascading boos when they blow a defensive rotation in the 4th quarter of a game? The players, of course. They'll be heckled worse than ever before. Half of them are probably going to show up out of shape, which just adds to the fire.

The owners? Well, they're gonna be fine. Even if attendance dips, most teams make their money of luxury suites, TV revenue, and corporate sponsorships, not run of the mill gate receipts. And few owners are exactly household names/faces. Can you name the owner of the New York Knicks? Would you recognize him if he walked up and slapped you right now? Probably not. Carmelo Anthony, on the other hand? Well, there's a good chance it's going to report to camp about 25 pounds overweight. You think The Garden crowd is gonna go easy on him when he has his first 5-23 shooting night in a loss to the Bobcats? Not so much.

So here's to hoping common sense prevails and the players take the d*mn deal. There's only so much NHL hockey I can watch before I snap.

On a related topic, if you wanna see something really, really cool, go peep this.
With the 2011-12 Pro Basketball Season currently locked out, Strat-O-Matic has teamed up with Basketball Prospectus to simulate all of the cancelled games. Check back here for daily box scores, game summaries, player statistics, standings and more! There may not be a real basketball season going on right now, but you can still get your daily fix of pro hoops- only through the magic of Strat-O-Matic!
For locked out basketball nerds like me, this site is awesome. They are simulating each game, as scheduled, and putting up a game summary and box score the next day. It's almost like the real thing, complete with injuries, power rankings, the whole nine. Before you NFL fans, clown me for this, imagine how desperate you'd be for anything gridiron action if that league hadn't wisely ended its labor impasse. See, doesn't sound so corny now, does it?

Let Us Play!!!

Question: Will the NBA lockout ever end? Do you even care anymore?

What's On My iPod?!? - Traap Musik Edition.

No need to fake it, for a dude who's allegedly intelligent a hip hop purist, I've found myself liking a whole lot of LCD[1] rap lately. I can't say why for any real reason, but sometimes listening to dumb sh*t is just easier. Who needs ultra complete polysyllabic rhyme schemes when "We Ball With That Money Ball, Throwin' Up Alleys!" works just fine? I'm just sayin', you can't run a 5k listening to Taalib Kweli. Trust me, I've tried. Sometimes Juicy J just makes more sense.

Yeah, that's what I've been listening to lately. Yeah, I'm 38 years old. Yeah, I'm married. Yeah, I have two kids. Yeah, I have a real day job. Got a problem with that, meet me outside.

Anyways, here's a sampling of what's been on shuffle on my iPod lately. I usually drop the accompanying links, you today, ya'll gotta do the legwork on your own. As usual, pretty much everything here is free99. Hit HulkShare Records and get to downloadin'.

Big K.R.I.T. - "Money On The Floor"

ScHoolboy Q - "My Homie"

T.I. - "Flexin", "We Don't Get Down Like Ya'll", "F.A.M.E."

Lil Boosie - Incarcerated

Future - True Story

Juicy J - Rubba Band Business, Rubba Band Business 2, and V.A.B.P.

Killa Kyleon - "25 Lighters"

Webbie - Savage Stories

2 Chainz - TRU Realigion & Codeine Cowboy

Project Pat - Cut Throat & Cut Throat 2

Dom Kennedy - From The Westside, With Love
Question: What are you listening to? Anything new and exciting that's reasonably "intelligent"? Do I need to stay out the "traaaap"?!?

[1] "Least Common Denominator" for those of you who didn't go to an HBCU.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Rest In Peace, Heavy D.

[Editor's Note: I did a 3Play Thursday for Heavy D awhile back. This seems like as good a time as ever to rerun it. Have a Peaceful Journey, Dwight Myers. You'll be missed.]

Ahhh, the days when cRappers made music the whole family could listen to. These days are long gone, but once upon a time there were artists like DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Queen Latifah, and of course Heavy D.

Dwight Myers, a Jamaican teen from money earnin' Mount Vernon, NY had a decade-long run of making fun music that was largely inoffensive, but still had a decent amount of street cred, something Will Smith never quite mastered. And yeah, he's still around now, acting in the occasional B-Movie and making reggae music. Still, he had some classic material back in the day. And yeah, he managed to pull this off despite being somewhat overweight. I'd love to see Rick Ross top that.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. Everyone has their favorites, here's a few of mine.

"Mr. Big Stuff"

"The Overweight Lover's In The House"

"Is It Good To You?"

Bonus - Download this Heavy D Tribute Mix via

Question: What are your favorite Heavy D cuts?!?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Herman Cain "Them Hoes Is Lyin', Fam!" Press Conference Open Thread.

Okay, so Herman Cain's got a presser scheduled for 5pm EST to presumably defend himself against the series of heinous allegations leveled at him by past co-workers and random Perkins waitresses.

Ooops, wrong dude.

Anyways, since you'll probably get around to watching this sometime soon, drop your observations here.

Question: What did you think of Cain's press conference?!?

Herman Cain, Just Quit Right Now.

Well, I'll say this for Mr. Cain, he clearly has his "type".
One of the five women to have accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment when she worked for him at the National Restaurant Association has been named and pictured, making her the second of Cain's identified 'victims'.

Karen Kraushaar, a 55-year-old federal employee and registered Republican, was one of the two women who, in the late 1990s, settled claims of sexual harassment against the 2012 GOP presidential candidate.

Mrs Kraushaar's lawyer released a statement from his client last week after it was first reported on Politico, starting the slew of allegations against Cain. She is unwilling to add anything more except to confirm it is her.

Mrs Kraushaar and Sharon Bialek are now the only two named accusers. A day after Ms Bialek came forward, her reputation is already being called into question as parts of her 'gold-digging' murky past start to emerge.

Quite a different picture of Mrs Kraushaar - who currently serves as a communications director at the Inspector General’s Office of the Treasury Department - has emerged. According to NPR, the 55-year-old lives with her lawyer husband of 26-years Kevin in Maryland.

Before her long career in professional government jobs, Mrs Kraushaar, an accomplished equestrian, was a news reporter and editor. She is also said to have written a true story children's book with her mother-in-law.

Her brief employment with the restaurant association was her first, and only, experience working with a private lobbying organization.

She has also worked as a public affairs specialist at the Department of Homeland Security, the Justice Department, and the Consumer Product Safety Commission, according to NPR.

Her friends and family told The Daily that she was 'very reliable' and 'not the type of person who would make things up'.

She was freed last week from a confidentiality agreement signed when she settled her harassment case against Cain and left the association with a cash payment in June 1999.
Herman, for the love of Conservative Jesus, please just quit while you're ahead.[1]

What Would Reagan Do?!?[2]

Question: How long before Cain's list of alleged accusers becomes Tiger Woods-ish? Should dude quit while he's ahead?!?

[1] If this blog seems like it's been "all Cain, all the time" lately, sorry. But this is a developing news story that involves two of this blog's main topics: politics and race. If anyone's offended, sorry. It is what it is, and I do what I do.

[2] Answer: Reagan would probably have been a lost less sloppy with his.

Sharon Bialek Speaks. Seems Credible. "Ruh, Roh" Herman Cain!!!!

At 5pm today, Daddy Green will be holding a press conference, during which he'll undoubtedly slam accuser Sharon Bialek as a vindictive woman out for revenge and financial gain. Anyone who thinks Cain will somehow show humility and atone for past wrongdoings clearly knows nothing about Herman Cain. Watch the man speak for 5 minutes, and count the number of times this guy refers to himself in the 3rd person. That's not the countenance of a man who knows how to admit wrongdoing. Say what you want about Obama's milquetoast temperament, but after 8 years of Bush, I'd like to think "Strong & Wrong" is the absolute last leadership style anyone would prefer.

I told ya'll Cain was getting too high on his own supply, and would eventually crash and burn. Consider Bialek's series of CNN interviews the black box. No puns intended of course.

Here's another appearance this morning with Carol Costello, who should really, really, really lay off the Botox.

Whereas yesterday's Friar's Club press conference was a media zoo, Bialek's subsequent interviews have revealed her to be a much more intelligent, thoughtful, and yes, believable woman. And they've slowly but surely convinced me that maybe she didn't make all this up.

Cain has some explaining to do.

Question: Does this interview change your opinion about Bialek's accusations? What will Cain say to defend himself during his press conference this afternoon?

Magic's Announcement, 20 Years Later.

Although I'm just 38 31 years old, there are a handful of "do you remember where you were when..." moments that I can distinctly recall. The Challenger explosion. The Reagan assassination attempt. September 11th. OJ's infamous Bronco escape. Chris Webber's wayward "timeout" that won UNC the national title. Obama's election. The first time I heard the "Scenario" remix. You ask me where I was today, when those things happened, and I can tell you the date, time, what I was wearing, who I was dating, and what I had for lunch.

Magic Johnson's announcement that he'd contracted the HIV virus and was leaving the NBA immediately was one such day. I remember sitting in my dormroom watching the news, and this was the lead story. Word didn't travel so quickly in the pre-internets days, but you could slowly but surely hear the murmur spread from room to room on my floor. When the press conference was over, everyone walked out into the hallway, silent. Before you knew it, one guy started crying, and then 20 grown-assed 18 year old men were crying. You'd think someone's biological father had died.

I wasn't even the biggest Magic or Lakers fan, but something about watching a well-known athlete at the prime of his career announce such startling news just hit home. Sure, I'd known of other people who's contracted HIV, and even died of the fullblown "package", but you always figured a guy like Magic was somehow immune. Apparently, his Johnson was not Magic enough.

In the years since, Johnson has gone on to live a healthy and productive life. Hell, I've venture to guess most 15 year olds probably know him more as the guy who owns all those Starbucks, instead of the game's best point guard evar! And of course, Magic's continued vitality has spawned a million and one conspiracies about him, and the virus itself.

Still, 20 years later, I wonder what we all learned from this. Chime in below with your thoughts.

Question: Did you think Magic Johnson's HIV infection was some sort of conspiracy? How did his announcement change your personal sexual behavior? Do you still remember where you were when you found out?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Cain's Accuser Speaks. And That Broad Is Lyin'.

[Update: I just saw Bialek's interview with CNN's Piers Morgan. She came across as much more relaxed in this setting, and minus all the circus theatrics of this afternoon's presser, she was much more credible. It was like night and day. Part of me wonders why she didn't initially announce her story in this fashion. I think she undermined her credibility with that press conference, likely to the point that nobody will care that she recovered later. I'm gonna need Cain to explain this one.]

Ya'll know how much it absolutely kills me to co-sign a lazy Conservative talking point. Absolutely kills me. So believe me when I say I watched that Gloria Allred press conference just waiting for something ratchet to occur that would force Daddy Green to finally fess up. And wouldn't you know it, something very ratchet did indeed happen. This accuser, Sharan Bialek is about as shady as a $4 bill.

I mean, seriously, watch this and tell me you don't already hear the feelers going out to Hugh Hefner and whoever books reality shows over at VH1. This ain't nothin' but a damn circus, folks.

Random Thoughts:
She looks and sounds like a washed up pRon star. Not exactly helping in the ole' credibility department.

I knew we were in for some serious f*ckery when Allred introduced her by mentioning Cain's "Stimulus Package".

This isn't harassment. She was no longer employed by the NRA. If this did indeed happen, it's a sexual assault. She should have gone to MPD.

She recalls this story, and the exact timeline with the sort of precision you'd expect from something that happened last week, not 3 decades ago.

The whole "you want the job, right?" line was straight out of a 3am Skinemax flick. It's simply not believeable. At all.

For someone who experienced an alleged felony, she is waaaay too chipper. I'd think seeing Cain last month would have bought back a flood of painful memories. She doesn't seem too traumatized.

This broad is lying. For what reason, I have no idea (she said she didn't want money), but she is most definitely lying.

Cain is gonna sleep much better tonight.

This woman does a disservice to every legitimate victim of sexual assault.

Gloria Allred does a disservice to anyone who calls her/himself an attorney. Seriously, that woman is despicable.
As I predicted this morning, if this woman didn't seem 100% believable, this story was only going to add fuel to Cain's totally misguided "liberal media persecution" narrative. Sadly, it would probably also overshadow the very legitimate allegations of those who worked with Cain at the NRA. It did all those things, and then some. Daddy Green comes outta this one smelling like roses.

No need to lie, the thought that this whole sham of a press conference was manufactured to make Cain look good has crossed my mind, but I don't even think dude's smart enough to pull that off. Besides, does it really matter? Folks who love him are going to believe him anyway. Dude could pull a Jerry Sandusky right about now, and GOP voters are so hypnotized, they'd defend him.

Daddy Green stays #winning.

Question: Does Mrs. Bialek have a legitimate beef, or is she a plant by the Cain campaign?!?

Herman Cain Accuser To Speak Today.

Just when you thought this whole Herman Cain "GropeGate" scandal couldn't get any more bizarre.
The media circus surrounding Herman Cain just got its third ring. The celebrity gossip website Radar reports that Gloria Allred — yes, that one — will introduce America to a woman who says Cain harassed her in the past.

The woman, who will be the first to go public on Monday, sought Cain’s help with an employment issue and was allegedly sexually harassed by him. Allred and her client will discuss, in detail, what she alleges occurred with Cain.

Allred’s office did not immediately respond to a request for confirmation on the Radar story.

Other Cain accusers have declined the spotlight. On Friday, the attorney for a woman who settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s told reporters in Washington that his client stood by her claim but would not be saying anything more about it. Another woman who allegedly settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the NRA also has not come forward.
This one can go either of two (okay, 3) ways for Daddy Green.

Good - Everyone knows that Gloria Allred is a feminist ambulance chaser. Yes, she brings credibility to any allegations, but like Rebb'n Al and Jesse, she also takes away credibility by merely showing up. If Cain wants to blame the media for his current situation, few people are a better lightning rod for such criticism than Allred. The mere nature of Allred's track record also makes it easy to discredit the alleged victim as merely out for fame/money.

Bad - Sure, Allred's going to hurt the cause, but putting a living, breathing, talking (and no doubt painfully expressioned) face behind these allegations takes the whole "anonymous" aspect of this story and tosses it out the window. If this woman's story even sounds remotely realistic, Cain's going to have to respond, rather than remain on the defensive. Even worse, if this woman is white... well, let's just say "Bye bye, Daddy Green. It's been real."

Ugly - The woman makes some very unsavory allegations about Cain that he's forced to defend/rebut. Instead of saying "I'm sorry" (as if), Cain and Co. go dig up some dirt on the woman to discredit her. The whole tit for tat consumes another week of news cycles, at which point many party leaders ask Cain to drop out. A fullblown internal race war develops within the GOP. Newt Gingrich arises from the ashes to take the lead in all polls. And Obama wins re-election by a staggering margin.

Assuming this press conference is televised (of course it will be!) I'll try and somehow tune in and drop the inevitable Youtube here later on.

Question: How will Gloria Allred and this new accuser effect Cain's campaign?

The Day I Officially Turned On Herman Cain.

If you're an regular, I wouldn't blame you for being somewhat (okay, really) confused about my official stance on Herman Cain.

I obviously wouldn't vote for the guy under any circumstance, simply because he doesn't advocate a single issue that I agree with. But I don't dislike him. He's great blog fodder, singlehandedly providing much of the non-policy related material on this increasingly banal roster of GOP Presidential aspirants. I don't respect his "tell the good white folks how much better you are than the rest of dem' shiftless Negroes!" hustle, but I do find it amusing. And of course, the guy looks a lot like my grandfather. I can't hate on him that much.

I've mostly seen Cain as a provocative, yet ultimately harmless sideshow. You know, kinda like watching The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. He's got about as much chance of making it to 1600 Penn Ave as NeNe Leakes, and is about as well informed on foreign policy. I wasn't giving Cain a pass on those sexual harassment charges either, but in the grand scheme of things, his ignorant and shortsighted 999 Tax Plan is probably a bigger threat to the nation than whether or not he sleazily tried to coerce some random chicks from accounting back to his hotel room 15 years ago.

But one thing I can't co-sign under any circumstances is playing the dreaded "race card" where none exists, especially from a Negro who notably played the awesome "racism is no longer a factor!" card just a few weeks ago. Nothing about the way Cain's accusations have played out nationally has been racial in any way. A white Conservative leading the polls would have caught flack for those charges, so would a Democrat. It's called being a non-vetted frontrunner. Happened to Obama, happened to Kerry, happens to every serious contender. That ain't race, my man. It's called Politricks As Usual.

And for throwing this pointless "high tech lynching" meme out there to distract from your own (alleged) ignorant actions, Cain officially lands on's Sh*t List.

And oh, while we're on the topic, this soundbyte's probably gonna come back to haunt Cain.

All together now... Knee-Grow Please!!!

Here's the funny thing about Cain's "race card". His race is actually an asset that appears to be shielding him from legitimate and valid criticism from the GOP establishment. He seems to get the benefit of the doubt just because he's black.

I think GOP and Tea Party voters are so hellbent on proving they aren't racist that they're letting this dude get away with figurative conservative murder. He has bungled positions on abortion, was in favor of TARP, is a Wall Street fat cat, favors affirmative action, has worked for the Fed Reserve, has run for office twice before, and plays the race card at will. If you closed your eyes, you'd swear this guy as a liberal. So why in the hell is this dude even qualified to be the GOP candidate? Would a white dude who committed this many blunders be leading the GOP pack? No, a white dude who committed this many blunders would be called "Gary Johnson".

Again, I'm convinced the GOP is so intent on proving they're not racist, they'll sabotage their chances at winning back the White House by electing a black guy. Any black guy.

And in an odd sorta way, that sh*t is racist.

Question: Does this "high tech lynching" allegation make any sense?

Friday, November 4, 2011 Open Mic Friday

Still on the road. Here's your open mic. Speak on it. A few topics to mull over...

Obama Approval Rating Inching Closer To 50% Again

Herman Cain Accuser Will Speak Today

Unemployment Numbers For October Released

NBA Fans Organizing Boycott

Occupy Wall Street Movement Showing No Signs Of Slippage

Question: What's on your mind today?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

(Not So) Great Moments In Recent Negro History #14 - Hurricane Chris Rocks The L.A. State Legislature.

Yes, this really happened.

Question: Can you count all the things wrong in this clip?!?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011 Open Mic Wednesday

On the road again. Here's your open mic. Speak on it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011's Completely Unsolicited Advice For Herman Cain.

I'm not a crisis manager by trade, I just occasionally play one on the internets. When notable public figures find themselves in a bind, I provide no-cost, common sense advice which if applied properly, can quickly squash any controversy. When ignored, however, the results can be downright disastrous. I'm an amateur, but I know that of which I speak. Consider me a poor man's Eli Gould.[1]

And with that, here's my completely unsolicited advice for Herman Cain...

Either Get Your Story Straight, Or Stop Talking Altogether!!! - Watching Cain's quickly evolving "see, what had happened was..." explanation for those harassment charges yesterday was a public case study in political amateurism. At first he was completely innocent, then he heard nothing about a settlement, then there was a settlement, but the b*tch was lying. Seriously, Cain knew about the pending Politico story 10 days ago. He had plenty of time to get his facts straight. He could have preemptively gotten ahead of this by issuing a statement before the story dropped. Instead, he did no homework, and looked like and outright liar as his story changed with the wind yesterday. This was rank amateurism at its worst. Now, Cain should refrain from discussing publicly and either issue a full statement, or simply not talk anymore and pray this goes away.

Contact Those Women Before The Media Does. - Cain's explanation that he had no idea there was a hush payment given to an employee when he was in charge of a small 300 person organization is also a lie. If you're CEO and you get hit with such an allegation, you don't turn this over to general counsel and keep it movin'. He certainly signed off on any monetary compensation provided to those women. He is lucky the women are bound by an NDA to not disclose further information. It would benefit him greatly to contact them now, and give them even more hush money to remain quiet.

Disappear For A Minute. - The worst thing Cain can do is keep making foolhardy public appearances. Currently on a media tour to promote (what else?) a book, Cain would be best served to get ghost until the next GOP debate. Standing in front of a mic several times a day is only going to open him up to further questioning.

Find Out Who Leaked This Story, And Leak A Story About Them. - The consensus seems to be that one of Cain's GOP opponents went to the press with this story, although depending on whom you ask, rumors about Cain's alleged transgressions have been floating out there for months. My guess is the culprit's name rhymes with Dick Derry, which makes sense because both are essentially vying for the same hardcore Conservative voters. Perry's had some tawdry rumors about his own sex-related issues floating out there for months. Make some sh*t up, leak the story to another lamestream media outlet, feign ignorance, and watch the media attention shift.

Dude, Where Is Your Wife?!? - The trump card to squelch any sex-related controversy is to drag your poor wife in front of the cameras, as if to say "see, I'm not all that bad, this lady's stuck by me for years". Cain has been married nearly 4 decades, but have you seen his wife or adult kids at all? This might be a good time to put them in front of the cameras.

For God's Sake, Show Some Darn Humility! - When Cain got in front of the cameras at the National Press Club, I knew we were in for a treat. Not since Jeremiah Wright's infamous press conference have we seen a guy so strong and wrong show his a$$. Cain doesn't have a repentant or humble bone is his body, and when you're dealing with sexual allegations, that's not exactly the image you want to project. Stop referring to yourself in the 3rd person!!! Quit comparing yourself to Clarence Thomas, dude wasn't exactly 100% innocent ya' know? Stop sangin' "Amazing Grace" everytime some white person asks you to. You're at about an 11 right now. We're gonna need you to dial the ego back to about a 5. Please.

Blame Obama!!! - Cain's already played the race card, and blamed "the media" for this "witchhunt". You know what would really get Conservatives behind you? Claim this story was somehow manufactured (forget the word "leak", go BIG) by the Obama Administration to keep a Conservative brotha down. You don't need to substantiate this. Conservatives don't need proof (look at the birther conspiracy, which was still a campaign issue as recently as last week!), they just need someone to validate their own beliefs. Run with this.

Question: Got any unsolicited advice of your own for Daddy Green?!?

[1] Just Google it already.