Tuesday, March 22, 2011

AB.com's Web Junk Extravaganza.

Okay, I know I'm a day (okay, a week) late with all this, but a trio of "viral videos" not involving Antoine Dodson have been all over the news lately. I decided to add my belated commentary.

Asian-Hating UCLA Girl - There are some things better left thought than said. This bleach blond nimrod apparently didn't learn that via her "All American" upbringing, and now has been forced (well, okay, not forced) to hightail it outta Westwood.

The most striking thing about this video isn't necessarily the stereotypical "ching chong wing wong" sh*t. Nope, the most beguiling part of this video is this girl's prevailing sentiment of total and complete entitlement. Namely, she's entitled to attend a school without having to worry with those pesky Asians washing their clothes, and talking on cell phones and what not. Sadly, she didn't realize that although she's entitled to her birdbrained opinion, others are entitled to disagree. I hope this serves as a warning for any aspiring attorney with a webcam. Think before you Youtube. Better yet, don't Youtube at all.

Turrible Sangin' High School Chick - Folks, I know a Grand Hu$tle when I see one. This, my friends, is a textbook Grand Hu$tle.

The folks who put this child up to this, and shot this cringeworthy video knew darned well what they were doing. The song is so bad, it's actually sorta good. It's catchy, and it's probably on the iPod of half the kids in my neighborhood. Talent doesn't necessarily matter, buzz does, because buzz = iTunes. No, Rebecca Black has no chance at a legitimate singing career, but she's got 15 minutes and probably a nice chunk of money for more autotune singing lessons. Some reports say she'll pull in a cool million bucks once the producers finish getting their exorbitant cut. That, my friends, is #winning.

Big Boy "DeBo"s Puny Bully - I can't relate to bullying. I was the smart kid that everyone wanted to succeed (real talk) and never popped sh*t when growing up. It also helped that I had two older brothers (twins) and an assortment of cousins and extended family that would be right at home in a Waka Flocka Flames video. In short, nobody effed' with me. Well, except for that one girl. Anyways, I guess I get the whole concept of comeuppance, and given the media's sudden preoccupation with bullying, understand why this video went big.

Still, backstory aside, can we keep it one hunned here? This isn't even about bullying. This is about a small kid who really shouldn't have been talkin' sh*t and ended up getting bodied by a child 3x his size. Why exactly is this big kid heroic? I'm sorry that Casey Heynes had to endure years of taunts, but seriously, how hard is it for a 200 pound 8th grader to do a piledriver on a 75 pound kid? He doesn't know his own strength and could have easily killed this child. So maybe Casey Heynes shouldn't be the poster kid for this cause. I'm just sayin'. If the roles were reversed and some puny kid snapped and went all WWE on a big bully, that mighta made a bit more sense.

Question: What's your take on all these viral videos?

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