Wednesday, March 9, 2011
BM3 finds FBI agent Malcolm Turner back in the bra once again, this time undercover at an all-girls prep school looking for a flash drive that... awww hell, who really cares about the superficial crime subplot?!? This movie, like the others, is all about Big Momma doing the running man and droppin' it like it's hot. Sadly, there is no Dougie-ing involved, but there is a crossdressing sidekick. The kid who played Malcolm's stepson Trent in the prior movies (un)wisely decided to back out, so now Tropic Thunder's Brandon T. Jackson takes the reigns, joining Big Momma at the girl's school to help find the flash drive. As if one brother in drag wasn't bad enough, Jackson more or less runs the show here, clocking more screen time than Lawrence himself. This clearly speaks of an intention to rebrand the franchise as a buddy film. So yeah, there will be more Big Mommas in the future. Personally, I blame Michelle Obama.
The plot here is flimsy beyond the point of even remote believability. Side characters like Sherri Sheppard, Faizon Love, and Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz would probably be ashamed of themselves for signing onto this nonsense if they had any dignity. Thankfully, Nia Long doesn't show up to reprise her prior role as Malcolm's wife, who is explained away as being out of town. Oddly, the children she was pregnant with in the last movie no longer seem to exist. Lucky for them.
As if the whole crossdressing thing wasn't bad enough, Trent's obsession with a girl of undetermined ethnicity just strikes me as the worst kind of Hollyweird colorism. Would it have really killed them to make his love interest black? I realize this seems trivial in the grand scheme of f*ckery, but it was just so.... typical. Not that we should expect better. Again, this is after all a movie about black men in drag!
The original movie cost only $30M to make, and grossed $173M when all was said and done. BMH2 raked in a cool $138M return on a $40M investment. BM3 cost barely $30M and has already made twice that. Whether I like it or not, there's a market for these movies, and as long 20th Century Fox can turn a huge profit, they're gonna keep makin' em'.
The Verdict: This might possibly be the worst movie I've ever seen. The bootleg was pretty good quality though. I suppose that's worth something.
Rating: 0.5 Stars (Out Of 5)
Question: Did you see Big Mommas 3?!?
Tags Popped: AB Goes To The Movies