Friday, January 28, 2011

The Single Files™ Episode 2 - CH555X.

[Editor's Note: The Single Files™ continues with some real talk from AverageNation™ regular CH555X. With all this talk about how hard it is for black women to find a good mate, I figured he should get an AverageBro's side of the story. Show our guest some love you-know-where.]

Why are you still single?

My area of eastern TN isn't known for a robust African-American population (just outside the so-called black belt). This means the pool of available black females is small. I have no problems with other racial groups, but as I mentioned, this is eastern TN, so that pool is even smaller. I work at a local university that's been known as a commuter school, so this place clears out like it's summer on the weekend. This also means that whatever females go to the university are from out of town or state (even country) and once graduation hits...poof!

The area is also lacking in extracurricular activities that I find interesting. Not into hiking, hunting, or bar-hopping. That means road trip and that's not in the budget. To put this in perspective, I went to Vegas a few years ago, browsed the numerous casinos (and catching some views of the ladies), and a thought came across: the lowest, off-the-radar, so that leaves me with being one of three things: an up-and-coming professional on the move (not there yet), a "stepfather" (not wanting to deal with any ex-spouses or children) or a player of young/older females (didn't work when I arrived and age is catching up). This is not to say I've never encountered women (handful), but I theorize that had I been living in western TN (Memphis), I'd be married or would have a lot more options by now. Online dating for this area is a J-O-K-E! See the reasons above.

Was there ever "one that got away"?

There really wasn't that many to begin with, but there was one girl I encountered during my community college days. We had a class together and just so happened to be placed in a group for an assignment. The trouble was I was young and had the "hit-it & quit it" mentality mixed in with "being responsible". I think she was also a little quick herself as evident with her interest within a span of a few days, but that's another story...;)

Of course, the parents coming home early the particular day I brought her home "to study" didn't help matters, so the "hit-it & quit it" mentality got tossed. Placed some distance between her and I, then decided to just call it quits (trying to be a gentleman at that age). That's one I really regret since that was around near graduation and we were going our separate ways. Ironically, I said to myself that I'd run into plenty more where that came from after transferring to a bigger school (current workplace)...o_O

What's it really like out there for a single black man?

To me in general, it's not too bad. You're on your own schedule and can make free choices without asking. There's also the issue of finances, where you're not concerned about extra mouths running around to feed. Honestly, I prefer to have a lady to come home to, but if it doesn't happen, there's always the Vegas desert!

Question: Does where you live have a profound effect on your dating life? What cities are the best for black singles? Does CH555X need to move to Memphis?

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