Thursday, December 2, 2010

Ashy Or Classy?!? - That New Keri Hilson Video.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't watch a lot of music videos, other than those sent to me and recommended by readers of this blog. I also don't listen to much R&B music, so the whole Keri Hilson phenomenon is a bit of a foreign concept to me.

She really can't sing that well, can't dance, and has about as much charisma/personality as a bag of Funyuns. Nonetheless, she's managed to carve out a pretty decent career for herself from what I can tell. Many folks[1] suggested she essentially ethered Ciara's career by doing basically the same thing in a far classier manner. I couldn't name one of either of their songs if you held me at gunpoint, but even I know the two of them had some weird R&B battle a few months back.

Anyways, records aren't exactly selling anymore in today's MegaUpload culture, which has lead to lots of female (and male) artists resorting to some serious hoe sh*t just to make rent payments.[2] Erykah Badu's pointless and unnecessary "Window Seat" video was a shock gag that overshadowed what was a pretty decent last album. Ciara's "Ride" video was just one clothing item removed from being 2am SkineMax-worthy. And now, Hilson herself does a dumpster dive to remain relevant with a video for what I assume is her latest single "The Way You **** Me".

Wow. What in the name of Adina Howard was that?

While I'm a straight, warmblooded American male, I just hate watching a (presumably classy) sista go out like this. Hate it. All R&B chicks need to ask themselves one simple question before going in the booth: What Would Beyonce Do?

I doubt Bey would be in a video licking a doorknob, laying spread eagle on the ground flashing her crotch, or griding on Rick Ro$$.[3] And that's why The Knowles Clan stays winning, and chicks like Keri Hilson will be working at Sizzler by the time I finish this post.[4]

So I'mma have to call this sh*t what it is: Thirsty, Desperate, Awkward, and very, very Ashy. What ya'll think?

Question: Ashy or Classy? Does this new trend of soft pRon R&B videos disturb you, or is it just a sign of the times?

[1] And by "many folks", I mean the comments section at MediaTakeOut, which is the basis of all of my Keri Hilson expertise.

[2] Yes, Raheem DeVaughn, you too, buddy.

[3] BAWSE!!!

[4] Then again, this video tricked me into writing an entire post of free pub, so who's really the loser in this equation?

blog comments powered by Disqus

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.