Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Quite Possibly The Greatest Hoe-Hop™ Video OF ALL TIME!!!

Yep, more triflin' a$$ed music videos. Sorry folks, it's just that kinda week. If you need a substantive analysis of current events and whatnot, consult any of the AverageSiblings on the left sidebar. I'm already in vacation mode. cRap Music and Basketball, baby. You know, Real Amurrican Sh*t.

Anyways, I don't know how I managed to miss this one, but "Where The Cash At?" continues the "P*ssy For Money" trend. Or Hoe-Hop™ as I like to call it, a term I happen to like better and should probably trademark. BTW, when's someone making a mixtape of all this nonsense? That would fly off the Megaupload shelves, pronto.

Say what you want, but I sorta like the beat here. And these chicks look a lot less "infected" than "The First Ladies". I'mma roll with this one, but I couldn't help but point out the obvious problems:

0:01 - Why is she driving with her (obviously fake) designer purse under her arm?

0:19 - How come the music cuts off when they jump to street scenes, but is still playing when she gets out of the car? Who edited this mess, and can these ladies get their money, which they obviously need, back or is it too late?

0:47 - Why? Just. Why?

1:05 - A pile of crumpled $1 bills. Hmmm, wonder where they got those?

1:07 - We needs more money? What is we gon' do? Why, sell p*ssy, of course. Getting rid of the luxury car, downsizing to an apartment, asking for another shift at Strokers, or getting (another) roommate woulda been my first options, but hey, coochie is recession proof. Sell it!

1:20 - Ghetto Moulin Rouge? Really?

1:35 - Complete this sentence: "How much chlorine....."

1:40 - Lemme guess... the very same pile of crumpled singles, right?

1:43 - Just press the mute button from here on out. Nothing to hear (or see for that matter) after this point.

2:22 - How much did it cost to rent that 2004 Range Rover for a day?

2:16 - Someone please explain the Cream Of Wheat box. Is this a Detroit thang? Is breakfast food what's hot in the bedrooms streets right now? What's that all about?

2:20 - Ok, that explains it.

2:45 - I wonder who got fired for allowing this bullshiggedy in their Day Job pool after hours. Does the manager of the Southfield Motel 6 know this happened?

3:25 - Did these chicks all simultaneously discover the term "crown", or did their ghostwriter just fall in love with it first? Chicken. Egg.

4:17 - I can not. And I will not.

4:44 - She actually has the best flow of the trio, which is sorta like being the best Jewish player in the NFL, but hey, it counts for something I suppose.

5:11 - I assumed these chicks were actually being paid for services rendered, not actually stealing those crumpled singles once the dudes inevitably fell asleep from exhaustion and fatigue. If so, that's some lame sh*t. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!

5:30 - Where the dignity at?

5:34 - The whole thing ends in a CGI explosion. How appropriate.

* Hat Tip to JD.

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