Friday, November 12, 2010

5 People I Wish Would Just Go Away For A Long, Long, Time.

Some people are just annoying to the point that you wish you could somehow delete them from your life like a 30 Rock rerun on your DVR. No, I'm not talking about causing physical harm to these people, merely banishing them to a remote island and not allowing them to return until their grating tendencies have worn off.

These are 5 such people:

Sarah Palin - When will this joke-in-pumps finally run her natural course and just go far, far away for good? With her now shifting the Sarah 2012 campaign into full gear, it's fair to say the expiration date is at least a few years away. Is she interesting in a trainwreck sorta way? Sure. Did she both help and hurt the GOP in the midterms? Sure. But as we get closer to the time when her lack of intellect and gravitas finally gets a thorough national examination, I can't help but think she'll conveniently push the eject button ("I need to spend more time with Trigg!") and prolong this charade through Obama's second term. Can you say "four more years of Palinisms"? I sure as hell hope not.

The Entire Cast Of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta (except Kandi) - What can I say. Yes, I watch this show religiously, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Each week, this collection of surgically altered bourgeois wannabes and never has beens infects my television with their own special brand of prentense, fake sh*t, and general n*ggorance. By adding the despicable Phaedra to the already perpetual "frontin' is a habit" cast of NeNe and Kim, they're quickly pushing the "no likable characters" boundary from which few shows (even "reality" ones) can rebound. The comparatively classy Kandi, of course, is the exception, but she's also kinda boring so there's no way she makes it another season.

Drake - I admit it, I also liked So Far Gone and Comeback Season when they dropped, and was generally ok with Drake's music for awhile. But lately? Come on, this dude's either on some Keith Sweat begging tip, riding shotgun with Bun B issuing lyrical threats of physical beatdowns to foes (we don't believe you, Aubrey!), cleverly calling women all kinds of b*tches and h*es[1], or abusing the auto-tune to T-Pain levels of overindulgence. I for one will be happy when this moderately talented, highly annoying male apologist runs through his 16 minutes and goes back to Canada.

Gilbert Arenas - Yeah, I know. For a guy who was a founding member of the Agent Zero fanclub, it seems weird for me to want to banish (arguably) the team's best player. But seriously, this circus has to end at some point. Arenas recently revealed that he lied about faking an injury so a teammate could get extra run in a preseason game. Arenas actually says he faked the injury because he was scared of getting booed by the home crowd. So essentially, he lied about a lie about a lie. He's also about 20 pounds overweight and kills any offensive flow when he is actually playing. I don't like buyouts and nobody is going to trade for him, but maybe the team could issue him a "go sit down" until he's at least in playing shape. As-is, he's hurting a team that's already pretty bad without him.

George W. Bush - As if those ignorant "Miss Me Yet?" T-shirts and signs weren't enough, now El Busto is back on the scene hawking his obviously ghostwritten 500+ page Presidential memoirs. No, to my knowledge that 500 pages does not actually include mad libs or black and white outlines of the Oval Office for coloring. It does however include a startling revelation that being dissed by Kanye West post-Katrina was the low point of his presidency. Even I have no snarky rebuttal for something so stoopid. George, please take your dumb a$$ back to Crawford, or Dallas, or wherever you currently live and don't bother us until that Presidential library (and all four of its coloring books) is finished.

Question: Got anyone else you wanna see temporarily banished to a remote island?

[1] Seriously, Drake might be Mr. Nickeldeon, but his lyrics show he's got no love for h*es either. And Lil' Wayne needs his ass kicked for that "beautfil black woman, I bet that ***** look better red" line. But of course, all we care about is the beats.

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