Saturday, July 31, 2010

Once Upon A Time In The Projects...

If you wonder why folks can't take the news seriously, here's Exhibit A. Lord, Jesus, how can the reporter file this story with a straight face?

Question: Is Antoine Dodson destined to become the next Bubb Rubb? I think it's just a matter of time before the inevitable mashups hit Youtube.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Sit Yo' Five Dollar A$$ Down Before I Make Change!!!

The GOP decided they'd hide behind procedural nonsense to avoid giving healthcare to September 11th Emergency Responders, cause, you know, healthcare is Socialism when Democrats are in power. When NY Congressman Peter King made the mistake of throwin' shade and interrupting his diatribe, fellow NY Congressman Anthony Weiner Channeled His Inner Nino Brown.

Epic hilarity[1] and gulliness ensued.

Boy, if only Obama would go in like this, just once.

Question: If Obama pulled one of these, would he be labelled as an Angry Black Guy, or applauded for finally growing a pair?

[1] This is hilarious, because notice how dude lowers the podium and mic when he first takes the floor.

The Realest N*ggaz On Children's Television™.

[Editor's Disclaimer: I know some of you take offense at the "N-Word" and see no need to label fictitious characters as such. If you are extra squeamish, don't have kids, or just have zero sense of humor, you might wanna go ahead and skip this post right now. It isn't for you.]

I watch a lot of children's television. And I mean a lot. Yes, my kids are well rounded, and no, they aren't being raised by Sony, but as a responsible parent, I still have to watch 90% of what they watch when they do watch. This means imbibing hours of Sprout, Nick Jr., The Disney Channel, and countless movies.

What strikes me as different about today's shows is that they're so overly, well, soft. There's too much sangin' and not enough fighting. Everything is so politically correct, and so educationally focused that the net effect is unoffensive, sanitized boredom. Still, every now and they, you catch a glimmer of real n*gga sh*t that somehow slips past the focus groups that inevitably monitor these shows. While most cartoon charaters are supposed to exist in a colorblind parallel universe, it's clear that many of these characters are given stereotypical "black" behavior, whether good or bad. And to that effect, I present a shabbily assembled collection of The Realest N*ggaz On Children's Television™, past and present.

Uniqua from The Backyardigans

All the singing on this show generally irks me, but you gotta give props to Nickelodeon for casting a real hood girl for the role of the obviously black character Uniqua. While most black cartoon characters speak with a nasally twang that screams "suburbs", with her sassy blend of split verbs and underhanded insults, Uniqua just screams "Southside". And seriously: Uniqua. She gets props just on the name alone. Tyrone? Not so much.

Hip Hop Harry from Hip Hop Harry

This show used to be hot, but for whatever reason, production ceased years ago and they just keep showing the same old stale episodes. Still, an 8 foot tall rappin' bear draped in saggin' Sean Johns, and rockin' ice is some trill sh*t. This show used to be really popular in my kids' rotation, and we even rented a bootleg Hip Hop Harry suit off the internet which I "performed" in for my son's 1st birthday party. When I say "hip hop", you say "Harry".

Gordon from Sesame Street

A brotha rockin' a baldie on the 70's on PBS is some real sh*t. Nuff' said.

Swiper from Dora The Explorer

After all this damn time, how come Dora and Boots haven't figured out that Swiper is gonna roll up about 15 minutes into the show and steal their sh*t? I just don't get it.

Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street

Admit it. Oscar is pretty much the neighborhood wino, in muppet form. He talks greasy, smells greasy, and basically just exists solely to hate on random sh*t. He's like Kill Moves off Everybody Hates Chris, but greener and furrier.

Fushia from Little Bill

If there was ever a kiddie show character with WNBA written all over her, it would be Little Bill's mean-assed, ball playin' older sister April. But Bill's cousin Fushia matches Uniqua for pure hoodrat gulliness.

Question: Can you name some more of The Realest N*ggaz On Children's Television™? Who did I miss?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sue, Shirley, Sue!!!

After a week of The Shirley Sherrod Media Redemption Tour™ Sponored By Luster's Pink Oil Moisturizer©, Mrs. Sherrod finally went back home, took a nap, and called Greenberg and Bederman.
Former Agriculture Department official Shirley Sherrod announced Thursday that she intends to sue Andrew Breitbart for posting a misleading video of Sherrod that ended up costing her job.

Sherrod made the announcement at the National Association of Black Journalists conference in San Diego. “I will definitely do it,” she said.

Sherrod has been offered a new job with the department, and the White House has apologized to her, but Sherrod has not yet indicated whether she will take the job.

Breitbart did not immediately respond to a request for comment. He has not apologized for posting the misleading video, arguing that the incident was “not about Shirley Sherrod” and was instead about the NAACP’s accusation that the tea party has employed “racist tactics.”
Of course this will only turn the very Conservatives who demonized, then defended Sherrod last week, squarely back against her. Not that this hasn't already happened, with some wingnuts asserting that Sherrod's claims that her father was lynched by a white man are a lie, because he wasn't technically lynched, merely beaten to death. You say tomato, I say tomato. Same sh*t.

Naturally, I hope Sherrod takes Breitbart's hate-filled circus routine to the cleaners.

Question: Does Shirley Sherrod have a legitimate lawsuit on her hands?

Shirley Sherrod suing Andrew Breitbart [Politico]

Hot Topics - Jan Brewer, Obama On "The View", President Clef.

[Editor's Note: NewsBriefs is now Hot Topics.]

I'm clearing the deck for a much needed, very long vacation today. Here's the rundown...

Jan Brewer Gets Pimp Slapped By The Feds- You and I knew that Arizona's immigration law, which essentially legalized racial profiling, wasn't gonna stand up in court. Yesterday, a federal judge blocked most of Brewer's law, essentially stripping it bare. For Brewer, of course, this is a godsend, since she can still use it as campaign fodder as she seeks to get the gig fulltime in November. And of course, once she wins in November, this will no longer even be an issue on the American radar. Because in case you didn't know, deportation of illegal immigrants has quietly grown under the Obama administration simply by auditing employers. In 2009 alone, more illegals were deported than during any of the Bush years. Of course, this sort of common sense legislation gets lost in the election year shuffle, but anyone claiming Obama's soft on illegal immigration is just being silly.

Amar'e Stoudemire Is Jewish?!? - Uhhhh, sorry, but I don't follow this one at all. This dude says he recently "discovered" his mother was Jewish, and thus he is. Call me crazy, but I smell a Grand Hu$tle/clever NY Knicks marketing scheme somewhere beneath the surface on this one.

Obama Goes On The View - In the words of my main man The Uppity Negro, "meh". I don't think this is the greatest move, but it's not the worst one either. With his approval numbers sinking, and things looking iffy for the Dems to retain control of the House and Senate in the Fall, Obama doing a daytime TV show looks like some campaign-mode bullsh*t. I'm not sure what he'll gain by fielding softball questions and doing a telling a bunch of lame Sasha and Malia stories. You could also argue that doing talk show when unemployment is 9.5% and there's still oil in the Gulf smacks of tone deafness. Then again, Obama was at his best when he was selling himself, rather than selling hard, but fair legislation. So, I suppose the net-net is a wash.

Chelsea Clinton's $2M Wedding - I'm sure you guys couldn't care less, but many Conservatives are assailing the Clinton family for dropping a cool $2 Mill for daughter Chelsea's upcoming nuptials in these lean economic times. Wigga Please. These folks are rich, and their only child is getting married. What else are they gonna spend their life savings on? Pantsuits and hookers? Let these folks breathe, please.

NBA Player Lorenzen Wright Found Dead - This is just a terrible ending to what probably had to be an awful time for this guy's family. I always liked him as a player, and hope this story doesn't get any worse than it already is. Rest in peace.

Wyclef Running For President Of Haiti - Uhhhh, considering how well he "runs" his philanthropic foundation, I'm not so sure I'd want him running a Dairy Queen, let alone an entire country. But stranger things have happened. And, well, he did write a song about it.

Question: What's on your mind today?

3 Play Thursday - Heavy D.

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: rap legend Heavy D.

Ahhh, the days when cRappers made music the whole family could listen to. These days are long gone, but once upon a time there were artists like DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Queen Latifah, and of course Heavy D.

Dwight Myers, a Jamaican teen from money earnin' Mount Vernon, NY had a decade-long run of making fun music that was largely inoffensive, but still had a decent amount of street cred, something Will Smith never quite mastered. And yeah, he's still around now, acting in the occasional B-Movie and making reggae music. Still, he had some classic material back in the day. And yeah, he managed to pull this off despite being somewhat overweight. I'd love to see Rick Ross top that.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. Everyone has their favorites, here's a few of mine.

"Mr. Big Stuff"

"The Overweight Lover's In The House"

"Is It Good To You?"

Question: What are your favorite Heavy D cuts?!?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Rich Tax Conundrum, Perfectly Illustrated.

Not to belabor the point, but lets kill the nonsense about these Obama tax hikes "running the wealthy out of the country" and "destroying American Enterprise".

Does anyone even realize how much this tax "hike" would cost the typical family making $500,000/year? Anyone? Take a wild guess, then click on the chart above.

If you're pulling in a cool 500 stacks a year, you prolly blow $6,000 on a party weekend at the spa. Raising your taxes by that small an amount isn't going to suddenly send you to the poorhouse. Until you get close to the million dollar mark, we're not talking a dramatic increase in taxes here, folks.

Enough of the class warfare already, this legislation is going to help us make a dent in the staggering deficits run up by the last three Presidents.[1] Most of us are going to see our taxes cut! Those who will see a tax increase can probably afford it. Enough already.

Question: Is the Republican campaign tactic of keeping taxes low for all Americans going to work in the Fall? How can the GOP justify $600B in tax cuts for the wealthy, yet quibble over how to pay a measly $30B to extend unemployment benefits for those less fortunate?

Bush-Era Tax Cuts a Likely Campaign Theme [WSJ]

[1] Yes, all three of them. Sure, Clinton left office with a record surplus, but when the market went South during his final year in office, he did nothing to adjust the spending that Bush inherited. Bush, obviously, had no clue of what fiscal responsibility meant either.

Name That Sample - "Oh Honey".

Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This classic tune by Delegation has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars? I can only name two myself.

Difficulty Level: Moderate. One song in particular is pretty easy. There's a few more that used it, but you'll have to listen closely or you'll miss em'.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Oh Honey" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Is President Obama Too White?!?

Opinions are like bellybuttons. Everyone, including yours truly, has one. I don't typically blog about the opinions of others here, but today I'm making a special exception to the rule, since I've been bombarded with links to this Maureen Dowd piece over the weekend.

I don't like overly quoting other folks' work, let alone editorials, so I'd suggest you head on over to the NY Times if you need the full context.
The Obama White House is too white.

It has Barack Obama, raised in the Hawaiian hood and Indonesia, and Valerie Jarrett, who spent her early years in Iran.

But unlike Bill Clinton, who never needed help fathoming Southern black culture, Obama lacks advisers who are descended from the central African-American experience, ones who understand “the slave thing,” as a top black Democrat dryly puts it.

The first black president should expand beyond his campaign security blanket, the smug cordon of overprotective white guys surrounding him. Otherwise, this administration will keep tripping over race rather than inspiring on race.

The West Wing white guys who pushed to ditch Shirley Sherrod before Glenn Beck could pounce not only didn’t bother to Google, they weren’t familiar enough with civil rights history to recognize the name Sherrod. And they didn’t return the calls and e-mail of prominent blacks who tried to alert them that something was wrong.

The president shouldn’t give Sherrod her old job back. He should give her a new job: Director of Black Outreach. This White House needs one.
Essentially, Dowd is asserting that Obama, by virtue of not having slavery bloodlines and being surrounded by more white dudes than Eldrick Woods, is tonedeaf on how to handle issues of race.

I'm not sure I disagree with that, although I dislike Dowd's typical Ivory Tower smugness. We've all discussed a need for Obama to Channel His Inner Negro on this blog from time to time. We want him more aggressive. We want him to stop takin' so much sh*t without poppin' back. We want him to morph into some strange, yet brolic combination of Malcolm X, Kimbo Slice, and Plies.

And we all know that will never happen, simply because:

1) Obama ain't built like that. He just doesn't have it in him. Period.

2) White folks, generally speaking, don't wanna hear that race sh*t. Witness his post Gates-Gate approval rating drop among whites. For a situation completely unrelated to legislation, that was a pretty huge "L" to take so early on in his Presidency. And dude, despite what he might say to the contrary, wants to get re-elected in 2012.

Nonetheless, I figure I'll bounce this to ya'll.

Question: Does the President need to act less "white" when it comes to matters of race, or is delving into anything race related a lose-lose proposition?

You’ll Never Believe What This White House Is Missing [NYTimes]

Black, White, Or Other?!? - The Pee Flingin' Murderer.

Stereotypes are a way of life in America. We feed into them so readily that they take on a life of their own. But just how well do you really know your racial stereotypes?

Black, White, Or Other?!? lists a particularly heinous crime/news story, with incriminating bits of info omitted for the sake of confidentiality. Your job is to guess whether the protagonist is black, white, or the omnipresent "other", and to tell why you guessed how you did. The best guessplanation wins a week's supply of Cyber CapriSuns. And yeah, you could prolly Google the news story to find out the race of the person, but what sorta loser does that? Seriously. And if you already know about the story, and thus the answer, sit this one out. Be a good sport. Don't cheat.

Anyways, here's today's entry...
Police said a {redacted} woman tried to run over a man with her car, then hurled a bag of urine at arresting officers. {redacted} Lt. Chris Russ said 39-year-old {redacted} was booked for investigation of attempted murder.

Investigators said the brother of {redacted}'s ex-boyfriend notified police there was a trespasser on his property at about 3 a.m. Thursday. When the 44-year-old man went outside to talk to {redacted}, she allegedly tried to run him over with her vehicle and fled. Police spotted her a short time later and pulled her over.

The lieutenant said {redacted} suddenly removed her urostomy bag and threw it at the three arresting officers, who were splashed with urine.
Question: Is this woman Black, White, Or Other? Why?

Monday, July 26, 2010

An TownHall - Is It Fair To Hike Taxes On The Rich?!?

[Editor's Note: This is just a "setup" post. I'll roll out the topic, ya'll go in. I'd usually do a bit more, but after yesterday's tornado, I'm just fortunate to have power again. Yes, a tornado and an earthquake both hit DC in the span of a week! I can't wait to see how they blame this one on Obama.]

Along with death, and sucky DC sports teams, taxes are one of the few givens in American life. I think it's long since been established that nobody likes taxes, but you can't go all Wesley Snipes and whatnot either. Face it, taxes are the cover charge for living in the greatest nation evar. You just grin and bear it.[1]

Of course, not everyone's happy about this concept. Even though Obama followed through on a campaign promise of cutting taxes for 95% of working Americans, you wouldn't know it if you watched any form of Conservative news. From Tea Parties, to elected officials, to random unlicensed plumbers, everybody and their mamas swears we're taxed enough already, and the next step in this gubb'ment tyranny is chattel slavery. This, of course, sounds silly to me. Again, most folks got a tax cut.

Among those who didn't get a tax cut are the wealthy. In fact, depending on how you read the tea leaves (pun not intended), rich folks are about to join the rest of us in chattel slavery.
President Obama wants to let the cuts lapse for joint tax filers who make at least $250,000 ($200,000 for individuals) but extend them for everyone else. That means the top two tax rates would revert to where they were in the late 1990s: The 35% rate would go to 39.6% and the 33% rate would go to 36%.

The highest-income filers would also see their tax rates on capital gains and dividends go up. And, if they're in line for an inheritance, they will see the reinstatement of the estate tax, although Obama's proposed estate tax is a less onerous version than the one scheduled to be in place under current law.

The stakes are high: On the one hand, there are fresh concerns that the economic recovery might be faltering; higher taxes on the rich could dampen spending and investment. At the same time, the nation's fiscal hole is deep, and the tax cuts cost the federal coffers badly needed revenue.

The deficit concerns were amplified last week by former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan. Once a big supporter of the tax cuts, he now believes they should be allowed to expire not only for the rich but for everyone. He said the cost of extending them -- which could run as high as $3 trillion over 10 years -- will make the economy worse by adding to U.S. debt.
It goes without saying where I stand on this: tax the rich, and give the rest of us a break!

The very folks hemming and hawing about this right now had no issue when Bush (unnecessarily in my opinion) gave the rich a massive tax cut after taking office, and gave the rest of us a paltry $400 "Stimulus" check to divert our attention. With the country drowning in debt, and local governments even making employees bring their own toilet paper to work[2], we gotta bring in money somehow. Letting the tax cuts for the wealthy expire sounds like a damn good idea to me.

But is it fair? What say ye'?

Question: Is increasing taxes on the rich while giving everyone else a reprieve fair? Do you really give a sh*t about fairness in these lean economic times? Does this in effect "punish people for their success", or is it simply making people pay their fair share, given the fact that most rich people become rich off the backs of those less fortunate?

Tax hikes for the rich: Can the economy afford them? [CNN]

[1] I know, that video has nothing to do with the topic of this post. It was still, uhhhmmm, interesting though.

[2] WTF, Corey Booker?!?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

She's "Not The White Man's B*tch!!!"

Are they sure this is Milwaukee? Cause this sounds like some Detroit sh*t.

Question: Should Griffin's ballot statement have been allowed? How many votes will she get with this sorta campaign slogan?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Ashy Or Classy?!? - Yaki For Toddlers.

Lord, thank you for only giving me sons. This sorta sh*t would drive me nuts.

Where Is The Father?!?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hot Topics - Chris Paul, Alvin Greene, And Oh Yeah, More Shirley Sherrod.

[Editor's Note: NewsBriefs is now Hot Topics.]

I'm busy today, here's the rundown...

Is Chris Paul The Next Lebron?!? - New Orleans Hornets PG Chris Paul looks like he's staging his own mini Lebron-A-Thon right now, essentially demanding that the team trade him to a ready-made title contender. While James' charade came off as predictably self-serving and par for the course, Paul's always been portrayed as a "good guy" who was always about the betterment of the team. Thus, his push to get traded to the Lakers, Heat, or Knicks seems out of character. But lets face it, this whole "SuperTeam" concept was started by Boston, and looks to be the future of the NBA. This clearly won't be good for the league's parity and balance. David Stern should step in and do something about this.

Shirley Sherrod, Please Go Home. - She got her call with Obama. Now, for the love of Caucasian Jesus, I hope this woman goes far, far away before her story reaches the point of diminishing returns.

Nigerian Family Gives Birth To Non-Albino White Baby - Sorry, somebody was either secretly with the UPS man, or this was an IVF screwup. I'm not buying the whole "weird science" angle. I'm just not.

Alvin Greene - I didn't blog about his epic "I Have A Greene" Speech last weekend because my shortlived political fast was underway, but upon 2nd thought, maybe the guy's not as much of a wacko as I originally thought. Sure, he'll lose, but checkout this funky campaign music video.

Question: What's on your mind today?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shirley Sherrod, Please Quit While You're Ahead.

So, I'm getting dressed for work this morning, and I flip to one of the lousy cable news channels to see if anything important's happened overnight. And lo and behold, who do I see but Mrs. Shirley Sherrod. Again.

If you're keeping score at home, The Shirley Sherrod Media Redemption Tour™ Sponored By Luster's Pink Oil Moisturizer© is now in Day Three. We've seen this lady on CNN (repeatedly), The Early Show, The Today Show, 106th & Park[1], MSNBC (repeatedly), heard her on Sirius XM, and read interviews with her in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, as well as Media Matters. I think I even just saw her on World Star Hip Hop, right beside one of those WSHH Honey videos.[1]

I'mma just cut to the chase and keep it one hunned: Somebody needs to get Shirley off the d@mn TV, pronto.

Seriously, what's the point of going around and continually giving interviews to anyone with a camera and mic? Mrs. Sherrod is apparently (and rightfully) not happy with the patronizing diversity awareness position the USDA offered her to return. She's also on record as (thankfully) stating that she's considering all litigation options against everyone who so willingly threw her under the bus. Thus, anything she's saying in these interviews could be used against her efforts to get her old job back, or in a civil suit. So why in the ham sammich is she up there on Morning Joe doing some dimestore Oprah routine?

Come on, Miss Shirley, you were wronged. You need to look like you were wronged. The victim narrative, and make no mistake Sherrod is actually a victim, can only go on for so long before folks question just how much you've been victimized. Right about now, you look like you're enjoying the attention waaay too much. You got some new pantsuits. You went to the MAC counter. Your hair is fried, dyed, and laid to the side. You are clearly stuntin' a lil' too hard. I'mma need you to dial it back a few notches, and disappear from my TV right about, uhhhmmmm, yesterday.

It's entirely possible Sherrod is using this media tour to position herself for something far greater career-wise in the future. Maybe a motivational speaker. Perhaps a talk show. Definitely a book deal and WifeTime™ movie. I wouldn't really fault her for this any more than I'd fault people like Sarah Palin and Joe The Plumber for cashing in on their 15 minutes. But if that's what's up, then something about her whole story of being falsely accused of racism when she was actually talking about racial unity is definitely gonna be cheapened in the process.

And Shirley, you know how the media is. They hated you. Then they loved you. If you keep making the rounds, eventually they'll find a way to hate you again. I don't want that for you. I want your story locked in a glass case and preserved as-is. I don't want any more chapters.

I dunno, this whole thing just feels a little uneasy to me.

I wouldn't dare issue a Go. Sit. Down. to a woman who's done something this courageous, but I'mma defintely have to tell Shirley to Get. Off. My. TV.

Question: Does The Shirley Sherrod Media Redemption Tour™ Sponored By Luster's Pink Oil Moisturizer© seem to be a bit over the top to you, or is she simply using every available avenue to clear her good name? What do you think her next move will be?

[1] Okay, not really, but she's definitely overexposed.

3 Play Thursday - Greatest Posse Cuts Evar!!!

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: AB's favorite posse cuts of all time.

In today's playlist, payola driven cRap game, sometimes an album's guest features are more interesting than the artist himself. If you read the tracklisting for any mainstream rap artist, you'll probably see a feature on each and every track. This wasn't always the case. Back in the day, most artists albums were only 8-10 tracks deep at the most, often used the same producer for each song, and usually only featured the artist himself. The rare exception to this rule was the vaunted posse cut, in which a handful of like minded artists would drop verses of their own. And no, I didn't make that term up, it's official.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. Everyone has their favorites, here's a few of mine.

"The Symphony"

The Juice Crew, which consisted of Big Daddy Kane, Biz Markie, Craig G, Masta Ace, and producer Marley Marl among others, ran sh*t in the late 90's. While each artist had solo success, this song presents their collective creative apex. Depending on whom you ask, this might be the first iconic posse cut of note.

"Scenario" (Remix)

Anyone in college in 92' surely remembers where they were the first time they heard the "Scenario" remix. This song was pretty unique because at the time, the term "remix" meant "same lyrics, different beat". This song literally jumped out the speakers at you, and more or less put Busta Rhymes on the map as a solo artist. And with the exception of Hood, who'd died before the song dropped, the same roster as the arguably just-as-good album version returned. Classic material. The opening bars alone song can still get a party started two decades later.

"Crooklyn Dodgers"

Appearing on the soundtrack of the lousy Spike Lee movie by the same name, this was one of the most notable early posse cuts to put completely unrelated artists on the same track. Buckshot Shorty, Special Ed, and Masta Ace were all from different crews, but they combined to rip this Q-Tip production. Like many other classic posse cuts, this one was redone later to far less impressive effect.

Honorable Mentions: "Banned From TV" N.O.R.E. ft. Nature, Cam'ron, Big Pun, Jadakiss and Styles P. "The Headbanger" EPMD ft. K-Solo and Redman. "Trans DF Express" by The Dungeon Family, "Buddy" DeLa Soul ft. Jungle Brothers, A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Monie Love, Queen Latifah, "Don't Curse" Heavy D ft. Kool G Rap, Grand Puba, CL Smooth, Big Daddy Kane, Pete Rock, Q-Tip, "Dusted & Disgusted" E-40 ft 2Pac, Spice-1, and Mac Mall.

Question: What are your favorite posse cuts of all time?!?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What We Can All Learn From The Shirley Sherrod Debacle.

Man, what a roller coaster it's been for poor Shirley Sherrod over the past week! She loses her job because of a dishonest, flea-ridden, right wing hack, is quickly vindicated when the media (namely CNN's Tony Harris) finally gets it right for a change, and now will probably be offered her job back. She'll probably also sue that racist piece of sh*t Andrew Breitbart for slander. And I hope she cleans that sorry excuse for a human being out.

Tell that bullsh*t the the judge, punk!

It's amazing that this guy still can't seem to muster the words "I'm sorry". He's ruined this woman's life, whether or not she gets her job back or wins in court.

Even worse, this moron insists that the farmer's wife isn't even real.

I have no words for this level of idiocy. Well, okay, maybe a few...

Shirley Sherrod Is The Quintessential American Story - This woman is, in many ways, what this country's all about. And someone at LifeTime Movies For Women™ should be greenlighting She Was Robbed: The Shirley Sherrod Story right now. I think Loretta Devine would make a fine Shirley Sherrod. What say ye'?

The Mainstream Media Is Spineless On Issues Of Race - Even after Breitbart's lie was exposed, the rank & file media failed to make him the story here. Instead, fingers are being pointed everywhere else (NAACP, Obama, Vilsack) but the originator of this smear campaign.

Conservatives Proved The NAACP's Point - How else do you explain away this incident? The Tea Party is (belatedly) accused of racism, and one of its biggest champions proves this racism by concocting a story to stoke white fear and anger.

Liberals Proved The Tea Party's Point - By rushing to throw someone under the bus, all in the name of proving they aren't racist, the NAACP and many black commentators undermined their own points in the process. Folks like Ben Jealous, Roland Martin, and Dr. Boyce Watkins have all apologized, but there's no way to clean this up after the fact. Reality is, they had just as much to do with bubbling this story up to the point of Sherrod's dismissal.

Conservative Media Can't Ever Be Trusted - Not that you didn't already know this. If there's any good thing that comes out of this, its perhaps that the MSM will be a bit more vigilant in rebutting these sorts of accusations before they mushroom. Watching Conservative media spectacles like The DoJ vs The NBPP, and that ACORN nonsense (which was yet another case of doctored tapes) grow legs without being challenged has only further eroded my faith in "real media outlets".

The Southern Strategy Is Back! - Not that it ever went anywhere, but Ray Charles can see a concerted effort to paint Obama as guilty by association with any and all things black, all in the name of scaring the sh*t out of white folks in an effort to get him ousted in 2012.

Obama Is Spineless On Issues Of Race - I'm not sure how much more I need to expound on that point.

Question: What, if anything, do you take away from this dark moment in American racial history?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Shirley Sherrod: American Racial Politricks Personified.

[Editor's Note: Yeah, I know I was doing a poltical fast this week. Eff' that.]

I don't have time or energy to rundown the whole Shirley Sherrod story. You'll have to go dig out the specifics yourself if you've been under a rock the past 48 hours. But here's what I think about this incident, and how it shows everything that's wrong with race in America.

Breitbart Is An Asshole. Period. - Before we start pointing fingers at everyone else here, let's get one thing clear: without Andrew Breitbart's intentionally edited, clearly out of context video, Shirley Sherrod would be still working today, rather than becoming a trending topic. Anyone with half a brain could have looked at the wholly manufactured ACORN scandal and known something was iffy here. Of course, Breitbart now says this wasn't about Sherrod, but about "showing how racist the NAACP is". Bullsh*t. I really, really hope Sherrod sued this jacka$$ for slander.

The NAACP Is A Joke - Clearly the NAACP jumped the gun when the original edited tape dropped. After a week of clumsily (but correctly) accusing the some elements of the Tea Party of racism, they were so quick to show that they didn't tolerate such activity within their own ranks that they didn't bother viewing their own videotape. Of course they walked this back, but the damage was already done. Not that the NAACP had any credibility left anyway.

Obama Finds His Own Sister Soulja - I can't let the Obama White House off the hook for this bullsh*t either. Instead of looking into the facts, Obama (who was briefed on this and agreed with the action taken) was so intent on avoiding another Gates-gate that he didn't worry about whether or not Sherrod was innocent either. While I agreed with much of his prior racial roadkill (Rebb'n Wright, Van Jones, and even Gates) from a damage control standpoint, it's becoming a bit harder to trust this guy on any matter of race. When in doubt, kick the black folks out!

Sherrod Is Gonna Get Paid - This woman's entire career as an underpaid civil servant goes poof overnight, all because some jerk wanted to prove the Tea Party wasn't racist. The funny thing is, this incident proves exactly what the NAACP was trying to get across, but they've got zero credibility left to double down on the point. I hope Sherrod lawyers-up, and hits Breitbart, The US Federal Government, and the NAACP for this. If there was any justice here, she'd be rehired with effusive personal apologies from the USDA and Obama. You and I both know that won't happen.

Gotcha Journalism Rules! - The funny thing about all this is that a story that was completely fabricated and pointless was originally ignored by the MSM. But thanks to Fox News and Conservative media, an unsubstantiated slander can grow to the point that someone unfairly ends up fired. I'm sure Walter Cronkite is rolling in his grave.

Question: Who is most to blame for this clusterf*ck? Who should Sherrod sue first? Will the USDA hire her back?

Prenuptial Agreements: Smart Business Move Or A Bad Mix Of Love & Money?!?

One mostly overlooked footnote of Mel Gibson's audio tirade last week was Gibson's insistence that he was hurting for money. This struck me as odd, given the fact that The Passion Of Christ raked in a cool $600M. Gibson, who was worth around $900M at the height of his popularity, (deservedly) got his clock cleaned in a messy divorce from this wife. Still, how could this guy be crying broke. divorce or not?

Gibson's issue, like many rich folks, is that he didn't have a prenuptial agreement. Thus, he ended up paying dearly for the right to exit his marriage and shack up with that looney tunes Russian broad who's now making his life probably even more miserable. Gibson, of course, isn't the first guy to get cleaned out in divorce court. From Michael Jordan, to Kevin Costner, to Stephen Spielberg, to Rupert Murdoch (a cool $1.7B!!!), men have found themselves taking a perpetual "L" when resources are divided. Since many of these guys were already well on their ways to being wealthy, you could argue that with a prenup, they'd have at least protected some more of their hard earned money.

Of course, everyone isn't rich, nor is everyone a celebrity. But given the staggering percentage of all marriages that end in divorce court, and the fact that the primary breadwinner (male or female) usually gets got, part of me wonders if prenups aren't a better universal option for more people. If you're Donald Trump, you can prolly afford to lose a few hundred million. You'll still live comfortably with what's left. But if you're a dude making $45k/year, half! is gonna kick your a$$.

Personally, I don't believe in prenups. I don't think a marriage should be something that's as easy to get out of as a cell phone contract. Every relationship goes through tough times. Every one. And real talk, sometimes the fear of loss helps you keep things in proper perspective and stick it out. When we married, my wife made roughly twice what I made, and I wasn't a McManager myself. So, she had just as much, if not more to lose if something went bad. But neither of us ever remotely considered this as an option. 9 years and 2 kids later, I'm the family's sole breadwinner, and would probably get anally raped (!) in divorce court if it ever came to that. Needless to say, since I don't want to live in a van down by the river, I work that much harder to keep the Mrs. happy. Not that I wouldn't anyway.

Still, I'm just curious about what ya'll think.

Question: If you're married, do you have a prenuptial agreement? If you're single, would you insist upon getting one prior to being married?

Mel Gibson claims he is broke in latest phone rant [UKTelegraph]

Monday, July 19, 2010

Big Butts Are This "Summer's Hottest Trend"?!? Really?

The mainstream media's cultural anthropology of Negro staples is something that always irks me. Every 3-4 months, some clueless moron in New York will suddenly "discover" something about black folks that we've known for years, and trivialize it to the point that you'd swear you were watching an episode of National Geographic. We've already seen the media go in on The Lonely Black Woman Industrial Complex™ this year. Now, the New York Daily News, after oh, only a few thousand years, discovers that women of color have bigger butts, and men (of all colors) happen to like them. Shocker!

On a related note: the sun is hot, the sky is blue, grass is green, and Keyshia Cole's voice is like a dog whistle. Anyways...
Make way! Big bums are shaping up to be the summer of 2010's hottest trend.

Serena Williams reveals that it took her years to accept her curvy backside, joining other full-figured celebrities embracing their broader bottoms this beach season. Kim Kardashian says she finally appreciates her round rear. Madonna's daughter Lourdes loves shorts that make your butt look big. And a new book celebrates bulging booties.

Not since Sir Mix-a-Lot's 1992 hit "Baby Got Back" has so much praise been paid to the posterior.

Williams admits that it wasn't until she turned 23 that she realized she'd never have the same shape as her sister Venus. "I'm super-curvy," the 28-year-old tennis titan says in the August issue of Harper's Bazaar. "I have big boobs and this massive butt.

Even tiny-tushed women are coming out in support of heftier hinds. In the same issue of Harper's Bazaar, Cameron Diaz admits to envy when asked if her butt was a career-booster. "That's funny, because most booties that propel girls are usually the bigger booties," says the 37-year-old actress. "I have a little tiny one, but it is, nonetheless, juicy."

And Rapper Ice-T's wife, 31-year-old swimsuit model Nicole (Coco) Austin, has been making waves for baring her huge bum on the beach in a thong bikini.

Before giving birth to a son last week, Dannii Minogue, a judge on Britain's "X-Factor," found her fanny expanding. But her ex-rugby player boyfriend, Kris Smith, didn't mind.

"Even when I moan, ‘My butt's getting bigger,' he says, ‘It's beautiful, I love every bit,' " the 38-year old actress/singer told InStyle UK.
This is just some downright shoddy reportage, even for the NY Daily News. And for the record, I thought white folks discovered big butts were attractive about 10 years ago when J-Lo blew up. Guess I was wrong.

I think it's sorta odd, curious that this new "trend" uses women of, uhhh, shall we say, dubiously obtained booties as evidence. Anyone with common sense can look at Ice T's wife Coke Ho CoCo and tell she's had plenty of help from surgeons. Depending on whom you ask, the same applies to Kardashian, a woman who seems intent on mangling her face until she eventually looks like Lil' Kim. That's Lil' Kim circa 2010 of course, not the pug nosed, brownskinned, and far prettier Kimberly Jones, circa 1995. And using a pregnant British woman who probably will try and lose that excess a$$ the moment she drops that baby as a case study? Wigga please.

Seriously, NY Daily News, are ya'll actually calling women's natural body types a "Hot Summer Trend"? F'real?


Question: Do you find the New York Daily News' sudden, shocking discovery of Apple Bottoms appalling, trivial, or merely indicative of the lack of basic understanding of people of color by some in the media?

Rearing to go! Big butts are summer 2010's hottest trend [NYDailyNews]

The Political Fast.

When you blog as much as I do (that's 365 days a year for the newbies), you often find yourself in creative ruts. Getting out of these ruts often means purging yourself of certain things to get refocused and back on track. And this would be one-such week.

I'm gonna try and make it an entire blogging week without mentioning anything political in nature. The blog's been bogged down with this sorta content for the past month, and I need to restore the natural balance of things. And whatnot.

So, no Politricks As Usual this week. If you need your fix, peep my man RiPPa, or The Field Negro, or J&J Politics, or any number of other like minded sites that call it like it is. Expect lots of Negro Nonsense, Sports, Music, and assorted mindless pop culture in the meantime. Sorry folks, I need to do it for me.

Question: How long will my Political Fast last? Tuesday? Thursday? 1pm today?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Somebody Should Call The EEOC About This.

To their credit, Fox News does employ at least one sista, the very capable and mostly unbiased Harris Faulkner. But otherwise, it's just a relentless cavalcade of peroxide and saline.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Nat Turner Did Not Rebel For You.

Yes, America's Favorite rappin' Hookers are back.

In case you missed Memphis Blac & Smokahontas Jones breakthru performance, here goes.

I know some of you wonder why I run these videos on the weekends. There's no reason. It's purely for the sake of gawking. Nuff' said.

The Real Life Uncle Ruckus?!?

I halfway expected this guy to bust out a rendition of "Don't Trust Them New N*ggas Over There".

On second thought, the man's spittin' some real sh*t around the 4:30 mark.

* Hat Tip to The Field Negro for this one.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Obama Approval Rating™ - July 2010.

After rebounding nicely in the last polling of the Obama Approval Rating™ waaay back in May, things don't look quite as rosy for #44 right about now. For anyone taking score at home, this represents the lowest Obama's ever registered in our ongoing quarterly poll. The previous low mark was 65%, back in December 2009.

I'd typically chime in with my expert opinion on what this all means, but it's a Friday so who cares? Have at it if you'd like in the comments section.

Question: How do you explain Obama's astounding 19 point drop in the poll since April?

Fox News CatFight!!!

Every time I wonder how Fox News, despite being the news equivalent of junk food, has such great ratings, something like this lands in my inbox, explaining why.

I'd typically add in a quasi-sexist comment here just to set the table, but why bother? I can't help but watch this tit-for-tat and wonder if there's some personal story going on behind the scenes. Did somebody kiss someone's man at the Christmas Party? Eat the last Activia out of the employee fridge? Is Megyn Kelly gon' have to slap a b*tch?

I obviously agree with Kirsten Powers here, but she gets ripped a new one by Kelly, to whom facts and decorum are clearly foreign concepts.[1] Then again, who tunes in to cable news for facts and decorum? Given the fact that these three ladies are all dressed more appropriately for a 3am Skinemax flick, I'd say why not mix in a kiddie pool full of Wesson and go for the all-out ratings bonanza?

I don't ever think I've seen two white chicks go at it like this, but I really sorta like it. If Fox News was smart, they'd just scrap all the "political" pretense and turn this into a show of its own.

Question: What's with Fox News' obsession with these leggy, brainless blonds (and brunettes)? Can you take anything on cable news (CNN & MSNBC included) as pure, objective media? If Fox News does a spinoff, catfight themed show, what should it be called? Just how sexist was this post?

[1] In case you missed it, this whole Obama Freed The Panthers Consipracy has been exposed as a fraud. The Bush Administration actually dropped the charges two weeks before Obama took office. But hey, it makes for good TV, right?

Why Do Conservatives Hate Muslims So Much?!?

I've got two cousins who are Muslims. They both grew up as Christians, and converted when they became adults. They are both hardworking, give more to this world than they take from it, and (tell me they) have become better people as a result of finding religion.

Every time I tune into some form of Conservative media (which is perhaps part of the problem) I find some dipsh*t smearing all Muslims with the same brush of hatred, failing to distinguish between the actions of some ingrates on September 11th, and honest Americans who love this country and deplore the actions of those very same ingrates, perhaps even more.[1]

This post isn't really anything other than a rant, so sorry if you were looking for something deeper, but it really pisses me off when people are so quick to generalize, and assume the worst about someone, purely based on a shared religion, which clearly doesn't equate to a shared worldview.

Question: Do you have relatives who are Muslims? What's your general feeling when you see certain people so quick to condemn the mere mention of the "M"-word?

[1] Before some smart alec gets the wrong idea, the photo accompanying this post is merely to show the lengths that some go to paint folks as guilty by association, and thus, is completely appropriate in this context. I'm clearly not saying anything in defense of Osama here. It's a d@mn shame I even have to write this disclaimer, but hey, such is life.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dear NAACP: Where Were Ya'll LAST Year?!?

I've said it several times in the past, and I'll say it again: The election of Barack Obama was the worst thing to happen to American race relations in my short 36 years of life. The reasons why have zero to do with Obama, or anything he's done legislatively. While I certainly don't agree with everything he's done since in office, and still find him profoundly lacking in the area of leadership, I'm on board with most of his signature initiatives. I also think that once all's said and done, his time as President will have generally left the country in better shape than when he arrived.

That said, right now, we're far worse off as a nation, because for myriad reasons Obama's election has either awoken or simply emboldened (take your pick) some of the worst things about this country. On any given day, I can look at my RSS reader and find a dozen or so new stories that contain some toxic confluence of politics and race. Seriously, there's the whole NAACP vs Tea Party nonsense. Fox News' completely manufactured Black Panther Party brouhaha. Rush Limbaugh uses the occasion of George Steinbrenner's death to note how many black millionaires that "cracker" made. A GOP Congressional candidate says Obama will "take away" his constituents' right to be Christians. Republicans on the Hill keep fighting against unemployment benefits extensions, a debate with a very shady "Us vs Them" undertone. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer becomes an overnight celebrity by essentially legalizing racial profiling. Sarah Palin basically calls the NAACP racist. Obama's approval ratings among whites drops to an all-time low.

When I sit and watch all this, and listen to Conservative commentary, there seems to be an unwritten (and sometimes blatant) notion that Obama and his minions are out for some form of cosmic getback, to finally repay white folks for centuries of oppression. ObamaCare will only benefit poor minorities. Obama is taxing rich white folks into chattel slavery. Obama's Justice Department is only concerned about the civil rights of blacks. Obama wants to open our borders and allow all sorts of illegals and evil brown people to come in and rape and pillage Middle America. You'd assume that Armageddon was just around the corner.

If you've read my blog, I've been very insistent in my opinion that most of the backlash against Obama isn't racially motivated. I've always considered it to byproduct of a very difficult economic time during which some very difficult decisions have needed to be made, decisions which aren't always perfect. Combine the desperation of a bad (although rapidly improving) economy, typical anti-incumbent sour grapes, and an ever evolving media, and it's easy for folks to get pissed off. I've always asserted that at most, 25% of the opposition we've been seeing is racial. Much of the rest is just manufactured, misplaced, or magnified anger.

But I can't help but notice the change in tone of late, especially when you combine the tricky topics of illegal immigration, the NAACP, and the Black Panthers. Call me nuts, but I can't help but think there's some well organized, well disguised ploy here to stoke up white resentment and get folks to the polls in November.

And that's why the NAACP's year-late and a dollar-short decision to call out the Tea Party is so untimely and so shortsighted. Seriously, why weren't Ben Jealous and Co. standing on their soap boxes last summer when Tea Party nuttiness was at its apex? In case you didn't notice, those folks retreated to their double wides caves after ObamaCare passed. I'm not calling the "movement" dead, not when they've got a handful of wackjob candidates with reasonable chances to win in the Fall.

But the very racist factions that the NAACP is calling out are long since gone back into hiding. Without a misguided cause to fight against, these folks are pretty hapless, and downright irrelevant. Should their candidates of choice actually win in the Fall, it's possible their influence could actually diminish even more. After all, should a Sharron Angle or Rand Paul actually make it to DC, they'll have to either fall in lockstep with the GOP (likely) or find themselves on a legislative island of their own. Face it, no Republican is gonna vote for the elimination of Social Security or the Department of Education. That sh*t's not gonna happen, even if they regain the House and Senate. At best, these Tea Partiers will find themselves merely cogs in the very institutional wheels they claim to most despise.

The NAACP jumping in this a year late isn't gonna make a difference.

Question: Should the NAACP have even bothered with this "resolution"? Are they a year late, or is this right on time? How much of the anti-Obama sentiment in the country right now is legit, and how much of it is fueled by race? Guest Post: Condemn This, NAACP!!!

[Editor's Note: I don't have enough time or patience to go in on the NAACP's crusade against the Tea Party. I will, however say that I think they're about a year late on this issue. When's the last time you saw a Tea Party rally? Seems to me like the passing of ObamaCare drove these poor saps back into hiding. Either that or the start of NASCAR season. Anyways, my cyber cuz The Black Snob presents this fine list of other things the NAACP should really be condemning. Show our guest some love you-know-where.]

In light of the NAACP coming out against racist elements in the Tea Party I began to wonder: if the NAACP is going the reactionary, Catholic League route for fighting injustice, why haven't they spoken out on the many other frivolous things that annoy black people? After all, a lot of things annoy me and as a black person I insist they consider the following worthless, symbolic resolutions. The N-word isn't the only thing that needs to metaphorically die!

Other proposed pointless resolutions the NAACP should consider:

NAACP condemns all of hip hop, the Boondocks, your grandpa and Jesse Jackson for STILL using the N-word after they buried it. What part of dead do you people not understand?

NAACP condemns people getting upset over Mel Gibson for saying the N-word. Dead things can't hurt you.

But ...!

NAACP condemns Mel Gibson for using N-word. It's about principle.

NAACP condemns Beyonce and Lady Gaga for convincing impressionable women that a sparkly "onsie" is appropriate club wear. Try pants.

NAACP condemns Michael Steele's foot for always getting in the way of his mouth in the wrong way. The only way Michael Steele's foot should be in his mouth is if it is physically in his mouth, preventing him from saying words.

NAACP condemns VH-1 for giving Chad Ochocinco a crappy, sport-themed version of The Bachelor called "The Ultimate Catch." No one wants to watch that.

NAACP condemns TV One and Donald Trump for giving Omarosa Manigualt-Stallworth a crappy version of The Bachelorette called "The Ultimate Merger." No one wants to watch that either.

[Editor's Note: I'm watching it, and it's halfway entertaining.]

NAACP condemns Twitter for distracting people at work. Y'all know y'all supposed to be working.

NAACP condemns KFC's Double Down for being delicious.

NAACP condemns saggy pants for sagging so much and offending the sensibilities of everyone.

NAACP condemns more people shouting out Lil Wayne than Jesus at this year's BET Awards.

NAACP condemns President Obama for not being angry enough. If Jesse was president SURELY he would have got us some damn reparations by now and found a trumped up reason to throw Glenn Beck in prison. Or at least created a Department of Race Relations where we could all get jobs and a nice new headquarters. Really. Where's our new headquarters, Obama?

NAACP condemns people who hate on them, because y'all are just jealous. Haters.

NAACP condemns you because you won't join and stop them from condemning things that are meaningless. You're a turrible black person.

Just turrible.

Question: What's your read on the NAACP condemning the racist elements of the Tea Party? What else should they be condemning while they're at it?

More from The Black Snob...

3 Play Thursday - DJ Quik

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: West Coast rapper/producer extraordinaire, DJ Quik.

While he's often overlooked for his contributions to the West Coast sound, it's hard to deny DJ Quik's influence on the rap game. Yeah, Dr. Dre has all the big name hits and all the notoriety, but Quik's 20 year career has produced just as much classic material, whether it be for himself or those he laid tracks for. While Dre's over-the-top production style has generally changed with the times, Quik (he dropped the DJ) specializes in roll down the windows and crank the volume funk. And like most West Coast rappers, he's got a million cameos in his videos. See if you can count em' all.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. Everyone has their favorites, here's a few of mine.


"Born & Raised in Compton"

"You'z A Ganxta"

"Can U Werk Wit Dat"

Question: What are your favorite DJ Quik tunes?!?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Digital Voice Recorders: The Real Lethal Weapon.

Call me silly, but this latest epidemic of spurned lovers releasing private conversations to the public just doesn't sit right with me. Sorry.

No stranger to racial controversies, Mel "Lethal Weapon" Gibson finds himself in some deep sh*t once again. And I suspect that a pissed off woman and a digital voice recorder are to blame, far more than anything Gibson said.
Mel Gibson's career may not be able to recover from this one. Confirming rumors that have swirled for the last week, posted a two minute audio clip Friday in which Gibson unleashes a horrific, profanity-laced tirade against his former lover Oksana Grigorieva.

Following the tape's release, Gibson's talent agency dropped the star, reportedly for being a liability.

Grigorieva told photographers from gossip website that she had "no idea" who was releasing the tapes to Radar and that she thought it was "terrible" that the audio had gone viral. When asked if she had meant for the tapes to go public she said, "Not at all."
Here's the audio of Gibson's rant. If you're a cube-dweller you might wanna cop some headphones first. If you're one who's squeamish about off-color language.

Look, there's no way to defend what Gibson's saying. Insinuating that some brothers would jump his woman in a back alley because she's wearing a too-short skirt plays into all the worst stereotypes about black male criminality. Poppin' random menacing sh*t about his baby's mother isn't a good look either. Danny Glover might need to give him a call to talk this one out.

So Gibson's a jackass who makes greasy racist and sexist statements in private.


This is a private conversation about a private matter. Gibson isn't teaching kids, denying anyone their Constitutional rights, or passing legislation. He's merely a once-successful movie star, and he's merely talkin' mad sh*t to his child's mother.


This is clearly a setup, despite anything this woman says about not knowing how the tapes got out. Come on now, she's clearly saying things to rile Gibson up. Listen to how cool this woman is, and how batsh*t insane Gibson sounds.

Jesus, this guy needs some Prozac and a therapist, pronto.

Still, this is a personal matter. It doesn't effect any of our lives, and it continually ticks me off to see people "accidentally leak" tapes of private convos like this to sully the reputation of a former loved one for personal gain, be it Dog The Bounty Hunter's son or Alec Baldwin's ex-wife.[1] It's called a private conversation for a reason.

Leave the voice recorders alone, folks.

Question: Assuming you agree that Gibson's sexist/racist rant was entirely reprehensible, is it equally reprehensible to leak an unknowingly recorded personal conversation to the press? How, if at all, does this latest incident change the way you view Mel Gibson?

Audio clip released of Mel Gibson's racist rant, ex Oksana says she didn't leak profanity-laced tape [NYDailyNews]

[1] It's entirely possible that I'm being completely dismissive of these three incidents because 1) I don't care much for Gibson 2) I don't even know what a Dog The Bounty Hunter is and 3) 30 Rock is the best show on TV, so Baldwin gets a pass for talkin' sh*t about his own kid.

Name That Sample - "Rockin' Chair".

Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This classic tune by Gwen McCrae has been sampled numerous times. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars? I can only name two myself.

Difficulty Level: Moderate. One song in particular is pretty easy. The other (that I can think of) is more obscure.

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "Rockin' Chair" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Lebron Doesn't Need Your Help. Just Shut Up Already, Jesse!

One interesting development of last week's Lebron James Epic Ego Trip™ was the persistence by many of racial undertones in the way that spurned Cavs owner Dan Gilbert treated Bron on his way out of town. That epic letter to Cavs fans that appears on the team's official website, oddly in Comic Sans MS font, was about as trill and scathing as a 50 Cent diss track. I mean, Dan Gilbert went in on Lebron. And of course, I agreed with Gilbert 100,000%. It's not necessarily the fact that Lebron rolled out, it's how he rolled out.

Put yourself in Gilbert's shoes for a moment. You did everything in your power to put a credible team around your star player. You satiated him by hiring his buddies on team payroll, and skirted all sorts of unwritten rules to accommodate his family and hangers on. The team had the best regular season record for two years straight, but couldn't get over the playoff hump because your star player would rather be Magic than Michael, and your coach wouldn't know the difference between playoff X's and O's and a tic tac toe board. Now, this guy figuratively thumbs his nose at you by holding a two year-long spectacle that culminated with a Lebron-A-Thon™ where he basically said "I'm out!" and went to join a championship starter team in Miami. And oh year, the value of your franchise probably just dropped by 1/3 overnight.

Yeah, I'd say Gilbert had the right to be pissed, and whether or not you agree with how he expressed this right, it was again, his right. Just as it was Lebron's right to leave. It's hard, but it's fair. End of story, right?

And then, for some inexplicable reason, somebody asked Rebb'n Jessie what he thought.
Jesse Jackson criticized Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert on Sunday, saying Gilbert sees LeBron James as a "runaway slave" and that the owner's comments after the free-agent forward decided to join the Miami Heat put the player in danger.

Shortly after James announced his decision last week, Gilbert fired off an incendiary letter to Cleveland's fans, ripping the 25-year-old and promising to deliver a title before James wins one. He called James' decision "cowardly" and later told The Associated Press he believes James quit during a handful of Cavaliers playoff games.

"He has gotten a free pass," Gilbert told the AP in a phone interview late Thursday night. "People have covered up for [James] for way too long. Tonight we saw who he really is."

Jackson said Gilbert's comments were "mean, arrogant and presumptuous."

"He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers," the reverend said in a release from his Chicago-based civil rights group, the Rainbow PUSH Coalition. "His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship -- between business partners -- and LeBron honored his contract."
Come on, man, kill the hyperbole. I know Jesse is still pissed that Rebb'n Al's long since leapfrogged him in the Ex-Civil Rights All Stars pecking order, but making this a racial thing is just silly.

Lebron, despite what anyone might say about his permanently furrowed brow and old man's hairline, is no Nat Turner. He's just an entitled jerk whom Gilbert has to take much of the blame for further enabling. But he isn't a slave. If the freedom to choose your own plantation, and reap a 9 figure salary makes one a slave, then hand me my shackles now, Massa.

Just as Lebron had the freedom to make a mockery of free agency, Gilbert had the right to be a total and complete jackass in voicing his displeasure. And in case nobody noticed, Gilbert was hardly alone in his displeasure with how Lebron handed "The Decision". The city of Cleveland is pretty pissed as a whole, with folks burning #23 jerseys and whatnot. If you're an owner who still has a building to fill up, Bron or no Bron, it's actually a pretty smart business decision to tap into the anger of jilted fans and use this as a quasi marketing tool, much like Lebron's spectacle raised his q-rating to unprecedented heights and will probably reap him more money as a result.

It's a business, man. It's not indentured servitude. Cut it out, Jesse.

Question: Does Jesse have a point about Dan Gilbert's disrespect of Lebron, or does he need to go have a Coke and a smile and STFU? Was Dan Gilbert's Dear Lebron Letter merely tasteless guerrilla marketing, or a borderline racist diss track?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Our Commenting System Sucks. Our Commenting System Sucks.

If you're one of the many fine readers who leaves comments here at, you've undoubtedly gotten frustrated with Disqus, our native system at times. Notably, Disqus has been doing some truly puzzling idd'ish lately posting a given comment 2, 3, sometimes 4 times. I have no idea why this is happening, but I know the fine folks Disqus are aware and working on it. So, stick it out. For better or for worse, I pulled the plug on the Blogger commenting system awhile back, and Disqus is here to stay, warts and all. Leave your comment, hit that Submit button once, and keep it movin'.

Thank you.



If you're one of the many fine readers who leaves comments here at, you've undoubtedly gotten frustrated with Disqus, our native system at times. Notably, Disqus has been doing some truly puzzling idd'ish lately posting a given comment 2, 3, sometimes 4 times. I have no idea why this is happening, but I know the fine folks Disqus are aware and working on it. So, stick it out. For better or for worse, I pulled the plug on the Blogger commenting system awhile back, and Disqus is here to stay, warts and all. Leave your comment, hit that Submit button once, and keep it movin'.[1]

Thank you.


[1] Yeah, that was intentional.[1]

[2] Yeah, that was intentional.