Friday, June 11, 2010

Is Alvin Greene The Real Life "Distinguished Gentleman"?!?

Although I absolutely hated it when it came out, one of my all-time favorite (okay, maybe Top 200) movies is the Eddie Murphy flick The Distinguished Gentleman. In it, Eddie plays a small-time Miami con-man who capitalizes on the shared name of a recently deceased US Congressman to get himself elected and sent to DC. If you haven't ever seen this, it's still on cable, likely on one of those 67 Starz channels you never tune to. Heck, the whole movie is over on YouTube if you wanna get familiar.

Anyways, not that South Carolina isn't already pockmarked with enough political scandals this year, but there's another "strange as fiction" story brewing after Tuesday's Democratic primaries.
Alvin M. Greene never gave a speech during his quixotic campaign to become this state's Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate. The mystery man of South Carolina politics didn't launch a Web site or hire consultants or plant lawn signs. There's only $114 in his campaign bank account, he says, and the only check he ever wrote was to cover his filing fee.

Indeed, in the course of a rambling, repetitive and frequently inchoate three-hour interview, this jobless military veteran could not name a single specific thing he'd done to campaign for lofty political office. Yet, more than 100,000 South Carolina Democrats voted for Greene on Tuesday, handing him a resounding victory over a well-funded ex-judge who has served four terms in the state legislature.

"I'm the Democratic Party nominee," he says. "I mean, I mean, the people have spoken. The people of South Carolina have spoken. The people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro-South Carolina. The people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro-South Carolina."

Things have gotten even stranger since Greene's startling win. First, the Associated Press reported that Greene faces pending felony obscenity charges for allegedly showing pornography to a University of South Carolina student. Then, the state's Democratic Party chairman called on him to withdraw from the general election. He's been accused of being a Republican plant and listened to his victory explained away as a fluke that resulted from his name coming before his opponent's in the alphabet.

All of this barely fazes Greene. He says he has no intention of withdrawing and is challenging his opponent, the incumbent Republican Jim DeMint, to a September debate.
Okay, so it's not quite like that Eddie Murphy movie, but it's just as freakin' weird. Here's Greene, explaining why his bid for US Senate is real, and why he ain't droppin' out.

I normally find Keith Olbermann to be an obnoxious d-bag, but he actually won some points with me by showing rare constraint in dealing with Greene, who clearly is a few footlongs shy of a Quiznos.

This story just ain't addin' up. How an unemployed cat living in his father's basement can scrounge up 10 stacks for a longshot political campaign, yet doesn't actually campaign at all, then ends up winning the Democratic bid in a landslide over a freakin' judge is beyond me. Of course, the LameStream™ media is digging up every bit of dirt they can on this cat. They checked his RushCard™ and saw he's barely got $100 to his name. Then they found a pRon charge that looks real bad. Clearly they think this guy's a hustler, and they're out to get him. File that one away the next time you hear someone complaining about liberal media bias.

Word to Joe The Plumber.

Conspiracy theorists are saying the state GOP paid for Greene's campaign registration fee, and given the open nature of Tuesday's election, somehow got 100,000 people to vote for him to keep a more formidable Democratic opponent off the ticket in the Fall. If true, this would constitute an all-new low for the South Carolina GOP, and that's saying quite a bit.

Anyway this shakes out, I smell a Grand Hu$tle and something tells me Mr. Greene will be doing a perp walk real soon.

Enjoy your 15 minutes, Alvin.

Question: What the heck is really going on here? How did Greene come up with $10k to enter a campaign when he can't even afford his own Froot Loops? Is the GOP behind this nonsense? Should the SC state Democratic Party be asking Greene to step down, if he legitimately won the election? Would people be as suspicious of Greene if he was a white dude?

S.C.'s Alvin Greene a mystery man despite becoming Democratic Senate nominee [WashPost]

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