Friday, April 16, 2010

Grand Hu$tle?!? - Buckets For The Cure.

I'm a naturally skeptical person. Sorry, I just am. I don't know what it is about my upbringing that has me wired this way, but sometimes my internal BS Meter just can't turn itself off, and my 3rd eye starts twitching when I see something suspect. I didn't invent the term Grand Hu$tle, but I think in this blog's context, it's more or less an unwritten mission statement. Namely, if I see something that don't look right, I'm gonna point it out.

Which brings me to KFC's Buckets For The Cure campaign. Surely you've seen the commercials by now.

Look, on the surface, this is admirable. Breast cancer is a killer. Aside from non-melanoma skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women. Breast cancer is the number one cause of cancer death in Hispanic women. It is the second most common cause of cancer death in white, black, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Alaska Native women. And that's from the CDC. Again, cancer ain't no joke, and I'd be the last person to marginalize its effects. Anyone doing anything to proactively find a cure should be applauded.

Still, come the f*ck on! This is KFC we're talkin' bout. The same KFC that sells the infamous Double Down sandwich, and other food laden with fat, cholesterol, and sodium. Deadly as breast cancer is, its nothing compared to the millions of folks who suffer from various forms of coronary artery disease, which drops folks dead, or worse, subjects them to debilitating strokes and heart attacks on the daily. All from eating a very different kind of breast, usually topped with hot sauce.

Part of me wonders if KFC is pulling a nice PR-related sleight of hand here to perhaps neutralize some of the bad pub they've gotten for that Double-Bypass, urrh, Double Down sammich. My third eye just can't look away from the dubious timing of this campaign, not when the commercials are literally running back to back. The fact that you can get this pink bucket full of either grilled or "original recipe" chicken speaks volumes. KFC advocating any sort of health initiative is sorta like Evander Holyfield holding a fireside chat about adult literacy, financial savvy, and early retirement the joys of protected sex. This sh*t just don't add up.

Verdict: Much like the NBA's silly "Green Week" which was little more than a nice PR ploy to sell some awesome 100%[1] organic cotton t-shirts[2] with the cool NBA Green logo, KFC's Buckets For Cancer sounds like little more than a Grand Hu$tle disguised as philanthropy.

Or maybe that's just me being cynical as usual.

Question: What do you think? Is this a Grand Hu$tle, or is KFC merely being a concerned corporate citizen?

[1] Silly question here. How come "100%" is pronounced "One Hundred Percent", and "$100" is pronounced "One Hundred Dollars", although the correct syntax is putting the percent sign behind the number, and the dollar sign in front? Shouldn't the placement of the "$" sign indicate that you'd say "Dollar One Hundred"? Who determined these rules?

[2] Before you ask, no. I didn't buy one. Yet.

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