Monday, April 12, 2010 Guest Post - KFC Wants To Kill The Black Community.

[Editor's Note: Yeah, that "sammich" you see is indeed real. And no, I am not going to try one. Is KFC secretly trying to off Black Amurrica with this monstrosity? The EbonyGentleman has an opinion. Show our guest some love, and share yours you-know-where.]

Life isn't always fair. That statement isn't really news, but sometimes you have to stop and ponder over the things that really matter in life.

God Matters (to me at least.)

Family Matters (Now on DVD!)

Friends Matter.

But the main thang that keeps this world turning isn't what you might think. It's food. In the lives of a lot of us, it's what for dinner that motivates us to get thru that last hour on the job. Whether you feel like cooking or take out, the process of sitting down and consuming a good dish is one of the main reasons why you work. (If you're not working/partly working, it's why you bust out that EBT/Food Stamp card.)

Food is one of the main reasons why you love that special someone or start a family (think about it). We are bombarded with images, thoughts and fantasies concerning food. You eat when you're hungry, lonely, bored, tired, stressed, aggravated, watching TV, and/or sexually aroused.

Yeah, I said it.

That Reddi-Whip in your fridge wasn't just to top off that pie. Admit it, them month-old strawberries never found their way to the shortcakes, they were used as a prop in your amateur film.

You're eating right now, AREN'T YOU????

What's the result of being driven by the plate? Weight gain, empty wallet, "the sugar" and congestive heart failure. To make matters worse, it's GRILLIN' SEESUN! Lawd, the smell of burning Kingsford charcoal is as intoxicating to a man as money is to a stripper.

[Editor's Note: Propane >>>>> Charcoal.]

You may have heard that First Lady Michelle Obama is on a crusade to combat obesity in this nation. I want to applaud her for trying, but there is a serious problem with her efforts. Black folks are going to fail miserably.

Yes, African Americans are going to crash and burn on this issue. Why? Because we are being victimized thru our greatest weakness. A major Corporation has found out that black folks crave one thing above money, sex, power and even education. This conglomerate has made billions by selling the main weakness of blacks. On Monday, April 12, 2010, this company is going to stage the greatest digestive attack this side of New Coke.

What is the main weakness of AA's? What cartel is raking in the cash every day, especially on Sundays, at the expense of millions, especially negroes? Watch the first 1:30 of this video and let former WWE great Reverend Slick fill you in:

Kentucky Fried Critter (Chicken). Chicken is Kryptonite to us. It's a wonder that we are still on this planet. KFC is introducing their newest weapon to kill off every black person they can find. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you.... DA DOUBLE......DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!

[Editor's Note: Them bamas have the nerve to create a "grilled" version for those somewhat concerned about their cardiovascular health. Really, KFC? Really?]

Look at this sammich. FRIED CHICKEN, on top of SPECIAL SAUCE, on top of CHEESE, on top of BACON, ontoppa, SAWCE, ontoppa FWIED F'N CHICKUN!

*clutches heart*

KFC's tagline for this monstrosity? "There is no bun."

Henry Kissinger's 1974 plan for food genocide is now complete. Everything a ghetto foodie has a passion for: yardbird, condiments, cheese and pork. Deep fried, melded and mass produced in a neat package at a cheap price.

Now do you understand why ObamaCare had to pass? The ninety plus percent of black folks that voted Barack in will be dead after this releases. Michelle, I love what you're doing, but there won't be a Negro in America worrying about a salad after this. We'll all be on that Glory Train. (Well, some of us.)

Somewhere in Kentucky, Harlan Sanders is smiling. Wait...he's dead, isn't he? Hell, it don't even matter. If he's already dead, it won't be long before I'll be up there with him...

...And I'll be shaking his hand.


Question: Will you buy the Double Down? What is your greatest food weakness? What food actually starred in your "amateur film?" Do you have your last will and testament ready? I needed an excuse to use Jive Soul Bro. Sue me. :^)

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