Tuesday, March 23, 2010

People I Strongly Dislike: Nicki Minaj Wannabes.

Every 2-3 years, a new cultural phenomenon sweeps young black America reeking general havoc that prolly makes MLK and Rosa roll in their graves. It was the 5-foot-long white tee phase, then the throwback jersey phase, then the skinny jeans phase, which may or may not still be in fashion. When each "phase" takes effect, it's often the trickle-down effect of the influence of whatever rapper's hot at the moment. And this latest "Harajuku Barbie" trend is no exception, as it can clearly be traced to the ascent of one Nicki Minaj.[1]

For those under a rock, Nicki Minaj is a reasonably talented rapper from Queens who has made a reasonably successful career out of free mixtapes and guest spots on other folks' songs. I can't hate on her lyrically, I got both Sucka Free and Beam Me Up Scotty on my iPod.

However, I personally cannot stand her stoopid antics, facial tics, faux British accents, and dem' stupid assed pink extensions. That, however, doesn't stop millions of impressionable young black women from co-opting this "style", as any short trip on the Metro will provide sufficient evidence of. And yeah, there are a million and one obligatory YouTube knockoffs to boot.

Go. Sit. Down. All of you. Sit!

I'm sure this is exactly what Soujourner Truth had in mind when she was being chased by the slavemaster's dogs through some Georgia swamp.

I suppose this is mostly harmless if you're in middle school, but if you are over age 25, have pink yaki in your head, and refer to yourself as a 5-Star anything, please get a clue, a life, and a GED. Do not pass Go. Go directly to Everest College. Do better.

Question: Have you also observed a Knockoff Nicki outbreak in your city/burb? Is this mostly just harmless kiddie stuff, or have you also observed a Nicki Knockoff doing clerical work on a gubb'ment job?

[1] Hopefully NOT catching on: grotesquely overdone Hydrogel butt/thigh shots. Man, this chick is gonna look turrible in about 10 years. She already looks cartoonishly freakish as-is.

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