Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Why Justin Combs' Life Is Great, And Why Your Dad Is Really Lame.

I have no idea why, maybe it's the need for a brain dead release after chasing two toddlers around all day, but lately my wife has been adding lots of MTV/BET fare to the Tivo Season Pass. This means watching crap like MTV Cribs, The Mike Vick Experiment, and my personal favorite, Teen Mom, a show so mind-numbingly stoopid it leaves me at a loss for words. Even NeNe Leakes wouldn't sign up for this train wreck. However, the cultural navel gazing reached a new low the other night when we watched some show called My Royal Sweet 16, starring one of the many fruits of P. Diddy's loins, a really obnoxious kid named Justin Combs.[1]

In case you're clueless, Justin is the child whom Diddy's (defunct?) chain of overrated restaurants (were?) are named after. It's little shock that this kid would have an exaggerated sense of self worth and entitlement, and My Royal Sweet 16 put this teen ego on full display, courtesy of a million dollar birthday party for the self-proclaimed Prince Of New York, featuring the likes of Lil' Kim, Nicki Minaj, Trey Songz, The Dipset, and Fabolous. To say this was a bit extravagant for a kid who can't even drive is an understatement. Take a few minutes from your boring, menial existence and witness this for yourself.

The proverbial icing on the cake, however, is when Diddy presents his child with a $400,000 car, then just for the sake of good PR, a $10,000 check to donate to Yele Haiti to give Pro Keds and Vitamin Water to the poor chill'rens of Port Au Prince.

Perhaps most puzzling of all is that Justin looks nothing, I repeat, nothing like his famous father. In fact, he looks more like Al B. Sure, but maybe that's just me.

All hatin' aside, man, what teenager wouldn't want to have a party like this? I mean, sure, blowing a cool mill for a child's birthday party, and having the whole thing chronicled by MTV is sorta tacky, and at worst, extra, but if you got the loot (I don't think Diddy has any cashflow problems, and wouldn't be shocked to find out this whole thing was "sponsored") why wouldn't you? Reality is, any kid who grows up seeing his Dad on TV pouring champagne on models of undermined ethnicity is likely going to be a bit detached from reality in the first place. That said, the kid seems reasonably well adjusted, or at least much better adjusted that I would have been if this were me. So, kudos to Diddy for at least doing something right. And yeah, your Dad, with his lousy 9-to-5, non-Jordans buying a$$ is officially L.A.M.E. Father Fail!

As far as this party being "too much", I guess it's all about context. We dropped a lot of money on both my kids' first birthdays, with a professional photographer, DJ, MoonBounce, BBQ, and special appearances by characters (Hip Hop Harry and DJ Lance from Yo! Gabba! Gabba!) from their "favorite" shows, as if a 1-year-old actually has a "favorite" anything. Yes, this party was just as much for us and our guests as it was for the kids, much as I suspect Diddy's was. Some folks looked at us sideways, but hey, we can afford it, and both kids had college funds established (thank you very much!) they day after they were born so, whatever whatever. My $125 HHH suit rental is Diddy's $1,200 cage dancer, so it's all a wash in the end. Would I buy my son a car that costs more than our house? Of course not, but hey, I'm not Diddy, and neither are you.

If you got it (and can keep gettin' it), why not flaunt it? It's all about the kids, mane, it's all about the kids.

Question: Is there such a thing as spending too much darn money on a child's birthday party, or should you ball out if you can afford it?

[1] Yeah, this is the same one who was in that disturbing preteen "lap dance" photo I showed here last week.

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