Tuesday, January 19, 2010

People I Strongly Dislike - Korean Barbers.

As ya'll know, my quest for a decent haircut in deep suburbia has been a series of one comical episode after another. There was the dude with the animated Superman website who would magically disappear for 3-4 hours while you waited in the chair. There was the angry Black Nationalist who called me a House Negro and refused to give me anymore haircuts after I had the nerve to question why he pushed my hairline back, as if I'm FloRida or some bama. Then, there were the Jamaicans who kept leaving you in the chair while they went for a "Cappuccino" run, which I eventually realized was code for "let's go smoke some weed in the alley behind Shopper's Food". It's just been a real pain.

Until I moved deep(er) in the burbs, I went to the same barber for years, but now this is a 45 minute ride back to the hood', and with a life and a family, who has time for that sh*t?!?

So for the past year or so, I've been going to a Korean family-owned shop around the corner from my house. The cuts are sufficient, and what the shop lacks in typical b-shop environment, it more than makes up for with cheap cuts ($12) and quick service (in and out in 20 mins). All things considered, this isn't a bad deal, although their insistence on clowning you (in their own language) if you don't tip them gets a bit annoying.

Anyways, since it's cold outside, I'm rockin' my customary mini blowout this winter. All the barber has to do is give me a shape up, and taper the temples a bit. It's like candy from a baby.

For some reason, these simple instructions got lost in translation the other day when I went in. The female barber went to work, and I wasn't really paying attention since (again) what I was asking for was simple. As usual, I went about my business of Tweeting, playing Spades, and doing miscellaneous nonsense on my BlackBerry. Then I realized, for some reason, she was cutting my back and sides. Hey, wait a damn minute![1]

By then, it was too late. She'd already trimmed my sides down to the point where my blowout was long gone. I was pissed, but well, she had clippers in her hands, what could I really do at this point? I just let her finish the haircut, paid my money (no tip, yes, she was pissed) and bounced.

Then I get home, and my wife sees my haircut, and has a damn ball clownin' me. Can you believe this woman was doing the Kid -N- Play kickstep?!?

This isn't funny at all.

So yeah, I'm in the market for another barber. Why is this so difficult?

Question: Do you have the same issues finding a halfway decent barber/hairdresser? How come everyone who cuts/does hair for a living is hella shady?

[1] I have "good" hair, so it's laid down and doesn't look as high as it first did, picked out. But it's still an effed' up haircut. I'd cut it on my own, but I got a shaky hand.

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