Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dumb Blond(e) Moments.

Although I pride myself on being the intelligent, well-rounded black man ya'll tune in to read on the daily, reality is, I ain't no perfect man. I'm trying to do the best that I can. With what it is I have.

I'm 36 32 years old, and there are somethings I still do not know about life that I'd be embarrassed if other folks found out. Likewise, I sometimes do some really, really, really dumb stuff that just leaves my wife shaking her head, partially in amazement, and partially in disgust. You know, sorta like this...

I call these things Dumb Blond(e) Moments[1], and I'd like to share a few with you, mostly for therapeutic reasons, but also because I'd like to know if I'm alone in not knowing this stuff, or if I'm truly just stupid.
I am old as I am, and do not know how to tie a necktie properly. Yes, my Dad taught me how, but it just never clicked. I have my brother, who lives 45 minutes away, tie every new necktie I get, and I pray it doesn't become unravelled.

I didn't realize until a few days ago that "ScrubFree" bathtub cleaner actually does what it says it does. If you just spray and leave it there, the ring will magically disappear. And all these years, I've sprayed, and then scrubbed. I feel so stupid.

I bought a "self propelled" lawnmower about 3 years ago, and have toiled with the steep hill in my back yard ever since. A month or so ago, I mistakenly hit this bar, just under the mower's handle, and the lawnmower started moving on it's own.

I just learned how to snap my fingers about a year ago.

I still cannot do the "new" Electric Slide, more than 2 decades since it came out.

I don't know if you spell the word "Blond" or "Blonde".

I grew up in the South, and still sorta live there, but I have never eaten chitlins'. Or lima beans. Or green peas. Or creamed corn.

I've googled the term repeatedly, but I still don't understand what a Technorati rating is, or why it matters.

I do not know how to properly blow my nose. I'd rather not elaborate.
Okay, that was great, and sorta embarrassing. But we're all family here, so I want to hear your Dumb Blond(e) Moments.

Question: Got any Dumb Blond(e) Moments of your own you want to share? Is it spelled "Blond" or "Blonde"?!?

[1] No disrespect to any blond(e) readers.

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