Monday, December 7, 2009

The JumpOff Career Plan.

As more and more details of Tiger-gate emerge, I'm still baffled at why these former sidepieces are talking. I just don't get it.

What About Your Future?!? - Think about it: few of these chicks have real jobs, unless you count club hostess/scrip club waitress as a real job, which I don't.[1] Essentially, their whole existence has been wooing, sleeping with, and profiting from married men who want to keep their affairs on the hush. So, if you're blabbing on national TV, aren't you more or less ruining your future prospects by announcing that you'll willingly screw up the most important aspect (confidentiality) of what you do? Even if you decide to go to Everest College in an attempt to get out the game, what employer is going to want you after they do the requisite Google? Ditto for any non-baller/regular guy whom you wanna have a serious relationship with.

Losing $1M To Make $30k - It's been suggested that one of Woods' ex-paramours was paid as much as $1M in hush money, which suddenly makes chirping like a bird look like a dubious financial decision. What other job is going to pay you $1M with amazing benefits for merely laying down an occasional 15 minutes? We're in a recession, ladies, don't you read WSJ?

Messin' It Up For The Rest Of The Co-Workers - I think it's fair to say that this incident might encourage high profile men to re-evaluate their approaches to extramarital affairs. Much like The SuperHead Effect has apparently caused many black athletes and entertainers to simply hire hookers, rather than bother with groupies, I suspect Tiger-gate will leave plenty of career jumpoffs out of work. Again, might I suggest Everest College?

All That Said, I'd Totally Do It - As much as I pick at these women, I totally, and I mean entirely understand the mentality. Think about it, fellas: if Halle Berry were married, yet wanted to contract you out as her occasional boy toy, would you not be filling out the figurative job application with the quickness. As much as we might bash these ladies, let's keep it one hunned. There ain't a single one of us that wouldn't at least give this a second, if not 8th, thought.

Question: Have the ladies of Tiger-gate ruined the jumpoff game, or is there still hope for aspiring dimegetters?

[1] One of the latest chicks to come out says she met Tiger when she was a waitress at Perkins. Perkins?!? C'mon Tiger, aim higher. I guess Houston's was out of your league.

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