Thursday, December 24, 2009 Rewind - Hooters Girls. Strippers. What's The Difference?!?

[Editor's Note: I suppose this is the perfect sexist bookmark to the prior post about strippers. This is one of those posts that somehow found itself in the wrong hands, making its round on a number of Hooters fan websites. I still get literally dozens or hate messages with Hooters Girls every week. Ladies, I am sorry. It's all about the buffalo wangs.]

The other day some buddies and I hit the local Hooters at lunchtime to catch the NCAA Tourney. The choice of Hooters is simple: The wings are great, and they have lots of plasma screen TV's. Are there other places to get wings and watch basketball? Sure. Are there lots of other places to get wings and watch basketball deep in the burbs? Not exactly. Besides, even Dickie V says it's the move!

Hooters, FTW!

Anyways, one of my co-workers tries to hit on the Hooters Girl who's serving us. She cold carries him, which is DC slang for "He fails miserably". He's dejected, wondering why a girl who is overly-friendly, with her ginormous man-made boobs literally spilling out her top, won't give him her number. The guy is hardly 23, and fresh outta school, so we fill him in. The girls don't really like you, they just want a nice tip.

And then he says, "Well damn, if that's the case, how is this any different than a strip club?"

And then I start thinking about it myself? How is Hooters any different than a strip club? Consider the parallels?
* In both places, the women wear next to nothing.

* In both places, the women are objectified and oggled, albeit in a socially acceptable manner.

* Both places sell food that will ultimately kill you.

* In both places, the women are nicer to guys than they'd otherwise be, all for the money.
The only difference is a few pieces of clothing, and a whole lotta money. I mean, seriously, if you're working at Hooters and barely making much more than a waitress at IHOP, what exactly is the point?

If it was all about money, wouldn't you go wait tables at a fancier establishment than one that sells chicken wings and domestic brews? It's been scientifically proven that more attractive waiters and waitresses make more money. Thus, going to an upscale restaurant (ie: Ruth's Chris or The Palm or something) would be a bonanza, no?

That said, I can only imagine that this is largely about attention. Some women need more of it than others. Thus the literally dozens (this was a busy day) of girls in my local Hooters with breast implants, which I really don't get. Why would you get breast implants to perform better at a $5.85/hour job which can't cover the cost of said implants? Isn't that sorta hustlin' backwards? Would you go buy a Lexus to deliver pizzas for Domino's? I think not.

Again, you're already being objectified and oggled.[1] You're hardly making much more than a girl working at Chili's. At least the girl serving baby back ribs has her dignity intact. What's the freakin' point? Go work the pole already![2]

If I had any testicles, I would have asked her this question myself, of course. But thankfully my co-worker, the same one who got shot down, asked the very same girl a similar question a bit later.

She just handed us our tab and kept walking.

Question: Ladies, what exactly is the difference between working at Hooters, and working at a gentleman's establishment? Would you do either? Fellas, have you too been confounded with this very same puzzling question?

[1] Not by me of course, by the other guys.

[2] Admittedly not my thing.

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