Earlier this year, at the request of my wife, I made AB.com an "N-Word Free Zone". I suppose this was my version of the whole "shaving off your cornrows and growing up" thing ballers and entertainers are doing lately. Still, this didn't come with much deliberation, she simply said I should stop using it on the blog because you never know who's reading, and I agreed. I consider myself a skillful enough writer to not have to resort to using such gutter language to get my point across, and I haven't had a slip-up (out of context, that is) or lost a step since. Water under the bridge...
On the flipside, part of me wondered why it was even necessary. I think we can uniformly agree that the N-Word is most often used amongst Black folks to disparagingly describe the wayward actions of some other Black folks (ie: "Dem N-Words need to cut they damn grass, this is the suburbs!"). Sure, some folks claim to use it as a term of endearment (ie: "What up my N-Word! Let me borrow your lawnmower!") , but I haven't heard widespread usage in this manner since the Clinton Administration.[1]
The remaining usage is obvious: as a racial epithet (ie: "We should have never let those N-Words move in this neighborhood. Do they even know what a lawnmower is?"), it's the proverbial "3rd Rail" of American slurs. But how frequently does this even happen anymore? I can't personally remember the last time I was called one by a white person, although I'm sure I was still living in NC when it happened. When was the last newsworthy mention of the "N-Word" being used as a slur? KKKramer? Dog The Bounty Hunter? The OJ Trial? Marge Schott?
In a roundabout way, I guess I'm wondering if maybe the incessant dumbing down of hip-hop culture has actually succeeding in it's (admittedly unintended) job of robbing the word of its meaning. It's used so often, yet so seldom in its original, highly offensive context. It is possible the word, as a slur, has lost its power?
I'm 35 years old now, with a wife and two kids. My biggest concerns in life are nurturing my marriage, raising my sons, and keeping a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. Period. Everything outside this isn't even secondary, it's thirdary, assuming that's a real word.[2]
With that said, I honestly wonder how much I'd even be upset/offended if someone called me the "N-Word" to my face right now. I'm not an "N-Word", by whatever definition you assign to the word, despite the viewpoint of the theoretical accuser. I know this, whether the person calling me one thinks otherwise is irrelevant. Again, I can't say how I'd react if this happened (I'd probably be too shocked to react, honestly), but I don't think "whoopin' somebody a$$" would be in the Top 5 of my possible responses. Bewilderment, maybe. Amusement, perhaps. "Beat a Cracka's A$$"-level rage? I can't say for sure, but knowing myself, not entirely likely.
Besides, let's face it, if someone really has that much disdain for you to call you that word in this day and age, what good would a beatdown accomplish other than landing you in the clink? Do you think you'd actually beat the "hate" out of them? Prolly not. I'm thinkin' you're just taking totally unnecessary penitentiary chances that will result in you getting a record, and them having a very cool story to tell at the bar.
Again, if the intent of the word doesn't apply to you, why would you really be offended? I didn't get offended (I know, this isn't exactly apples & apples) when TLC's "No Scrubs" came out, cause I'm not one. I don't get offended when I hear all these blogs, songs, movies, TV shows about "Black Men Ain't Sh*t", cause well, they ain't talkin' bout' me. So why exactly would a word that doesn't (by whatever definition you give it) apply to me be offensive?
If you wanna offend me, call me "Dumb". Depending on the context/setting (ie: work, my kids' school), you just might wanna guard your grill. But "N-Word"? Sorry, I'm just a bit too busy to get all worked up over something like that.
Then again, I'm talking from a relative lack of recent experience. Until you're actually confronted with something, who knows?
Question: Would being called "The N-Word" be grounds for you whoppin' somebody's a$$, or does the word not hold that sort of power over you? What words are "fightin' words" in this post-racial America? Got any notable instances where you were called "The N-Word"? For my white, Asian, Latino, and others, what similar words raise your ire?
[1] Let's not get tied up in "gga" vs "gger", please. It's the same thing. If you don't believe me, go to your Grandma's house and just start spouting out either version. Tell me how long you're able to do this and still stand upright (or at least a stern talking-to).
[2] It isn't.
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I guess you're distinguishing how people act mano-a-mano versus how they act online, which is to say, two-faced cowardice versus unfiltered evil. Five minutes on YouTube (you don't even have to be looking for it) will show how many troglodytes love to throw the "er" version at people. (Often including, of course, innocent toddlers who had the audacity to be recorded by someone.)
I'm guessing what you're really saying is that those kinds of people are just too silly to be offended by.
But as for the power of the word itself, maybe it's just me, but the sheer ugliness of it still causes a jolt. That goes for either someone meaning it as a slur or teenagers on the train speaking casually to each other. No one will ever use that word to hurt me, obviously, but ugly is ugly, and that one's in the Ugly Top 5.
BTW, no one I know has ever been called a "kike," but my sister recently encountered, in person, the most brazen anti-Semite this side of Hal Turner. If he'd actually used the word, at that point it would have just been one more straw on the pile. Needless to say, she was pretty shaken.
But as far as whites in general go, to me the worst thing a black person can call a white person is an "Edomite," since that indicates which little club they belong to.... >=P
I have been called that a few times in Korea and I do get upset by it.
There's nothing you can call me in regards to race that would offend me..."whitey, cracka, cracka-ass-cracka, vanilla, white toast"...those words will make me laugh in your face. I truly do find them funny.
BUT, there is one word that will take me back to my pop off days.
C**t. Call me that and it's on.
Unless you're a friend of mine who knows it irkes me and calls me that just to yank my chain. (I have a friend that does it.) :-)
I think as younger blacks its easy for us to forget ugliness behind the N word. In doing so we trivialize the pain and suffering caused by that word.
What I don't get is why we as blacks have a instance to fall all over ourselves to use the N word. I mean you don't see Hispanics calling themselves the S word, or Jews calling themselves the K word. I wonder what smiles that it brings to a white supremacist face that we as black people are actually debating if we should not refer to ourselves using a racial slur. Just spend a couple minutes reading comments on Youtube and you will soon realize that N word has not lost its power.
Please no cliche taking a negative and turning into a positive BS. That worn out argument is dead as a pit bull at Mike Vick's house.
Just the other day one of my Puerto Rican students was sitting with some white adults I didn't know. I said hi and after I passed I heard her say, "Ezra's my n*igga, yo." Then she corrected it to "homeboy."
I get that a lot. I take it as a compliment though I don't really know what to do with it seeings how I'm both white, and their teacher.
I think the "powerful" of the word now is personal and based on what experiences you had in your life. TO me it's disrespectful enough to get you handled. I don't play that shit but I'd be a fraud if I didn't say that I let some folk side with it cuz there close to me.
Also if you deal internationally it brings a different view to it. My home girl that lives in the Bronx, but is finishing a year in Japan teaching told me just this weekend how good it felt to be in a society where that word barely exists. But when she comes home the sting of it will come back now that she's experienced whole cultures that exist without it.
The word you're looking for is tertiary.
I don't have a problem with people using the word n!gga,it's just not that big of a deal to me. But I do understand why others are opposed to its usage though.
Well, I'm a black woman and I don't use it because its a hateful word. Whether we as blacks have "taken it back" or whatever, "Nigger" is still rooted in hatred and ignorance.
The other day at my girlfriend's brother's house he called me a dyke. Sure I don't identify with that word, but I still found it disrespecful. I checked him.
So if someone were to walk up to me and call me a nigger, I'd at least cuss them out. It's an issue of respect: I'm not a nigger. Don't call me one.
I'm 41 and haven't used the word in over 20 years. I don't see others using disparaging words to describe themselves, therefore why should I. I don't believe for one second in this idea that the hip-hop community uses this term to take power away from it. I think they use the word simply because they are young, and they heard their peers using such language. Besides, nobody got a high top fade because they were making a social point, it was just the thing to do.
LOL at the lawn mower comment, I am still trying to figure out why I felt the urge to mow my lawn. Also Vanilla Latte that is funny, very funny< I have neve been called that word. I have never been called that and my parents are both from the south, Alabama and Louisiana. I would be surprised here in Southeast Massachusetts where I live. I don't know what i would do. i am in my early twenties.
As ezparz said, i know many of my friends say "that nigga" in just reference to "that dude" and race doesn't even cross their minds. I make myself cringe everytime I hear it so that I don't get dull to hearing the word.
I really don't know what to do with that, especially because I hang around people who have a wide enough world view to understand what they're doing.
Proud Bay Stater
I don't hear that word a lot. But I did have a former ignorant, redneck coworker who called me that...not to my face. He would have been walking around minus a nut.
My friend Chuckie will say, "Hey, C**t, how's it going?" LOL
I know it sounds wrong but it really is funny coming from him.
He also calls me "beef curtain".
Again--totally wrong but damned funny!!
@ VLatte:
At the risk of exposing some powerful ignorance, I don't understand "beef curtain."
I guess you are no where near New York City, where everyday on the subway or street every other word out of the kids mouths is n*gga. Its crazy. N*gga is used like a comma to these kids, and funny enough, most of them are hispanic...its embarrasing on an otherwise quiet train everyday these fools are saying "My nigga, my nigga, nah my nigga, nah my nigga, come one nigga." That is an entire conversation!!!
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