Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Problem With... Sarah Heath Palin.

Never let it be said that I'm not a man of my word. Back in July, I wrote what I titled "The Last Sarah Palin Post You'll Ever Read On", citing my exhaustion with the media's pointless love affair with the former Alaska Governor. Why keep talking about someone who isn't even relevant, much less newsworthy? I promised then that I wouldn't utter that woman's name a single time here until she did something of significance. Needless to say, I nearly made it 6 months without a mention.

Today, the ban ends, not so much because Palin has done anything of value, but simply because I can't take it no more. So, here's my 2 cents on the last 1/2 year of Palinism.

This Woman Is Smarter Than The Average Polar Bear. - For all the proclamations that Palin is an airhead who couldn't chew gum and walk simultaneously, she sure has proven to be far wiser than most of us initially tabbed her to be. Think about this, she quits a job halfway in, and some folks think she's a hero. She endorses a losing Conservative candidate, virtually ensuring passage of Obamacare, and some folks think she has political heft. She repeats an internet urban legend about "death panels", and some folks think she has the power to influence legislation. She gets caked up writing a book and making speeches, and some folks still think she's "just like them". Amazing.

The MSM Is Evil. Unless You Need Them To Help Sell Your Books. - In an even more amazing sleight of hand, Palin is using and manipulating the very same mainstream media that she so angrily accused of bias to help peddle her books and ensure that several generations of future Palins will never have to put in an honest day's work. As much as these "elitists" might hate her very essence, reality is, she's such a trainwreck waiting to happen that you can't ignore her. When she ended up on Oprah, I knew that cows had truly jumped the moon.

How then, can she still continue to repeat this "The MSM is against me" nonsense with a straight face? If the MSM was truly against her, they would have simply ignored this book, much like they ignored Joe The Plumber's ghostwritten book of populist nonsense. So enough of the victim narrative, please.

She Has No Chance At Becoming President. - C'mon, as much as folks salivate over the prospect of her facing Obama in 2012, you and I know this will never happen. And the Dems won't have anything to do with it, the bloodbath she'll experience at the hands of fellow GOP'ers will be nauseating (but of course I'll watch every debate). Do you really think folks like Newt Gingrich, Dick Chaney (yeah, he's running, you heard it first), Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee will just allow her to prance in off the street and accept the GOP nomination without a fight? Of course not. In their own ways, these guys have paid their dues, and a person who couldn't make it 2 years as Governor of Alaaaaskaaaa will get no pity from them. They are playing nice now, not wanting to alienate the "base" by attacking her, but once she throws her hat in, all that nice crap is out the window.

She Will Never Run For President. - Palin is smart enough to know she'd take a beating 20 levels more brutal than anything she accuses the MSM and the McCain campaign of hitting her with last Fall. Lets not forget, Obama/Biden barely broke a sweat. The GOP, and Palin-herself inflicted all the damage.

She Is Lying Her A$$ Off. Because She Can. - Seriously, how come everytime Sarah Palin goes to explain why something went wrong, she's pointing the finger at others? McCain. Schmidt. Wallace. Couric. The MSM. Her handlers. The Atlantic. Phony "ethics investigators". Jim Zorn. Reality is, a good percentage of the stuff she alleges has been rebutted repeatedly by multiple sources, which means she probably isn't on the up and up. Of course, she doesn't care about fact checkers, because she isn't running for President. Get Money!

I Will Be Reading Her Book. - I no longer have the AB Goes To The Library tag, simply because most of the stuff I read isn't very timely and wouldn't likely be of interest to ya'll. But I will be obtaining a copy of "Going Rogue", because I too enjoy ghostwritten trainwrecks, and also because I've already pre-purchased several hundred copies (think about it) so I almost feel obligated. I don't promise a review, however. I read "Goodnight Moon" to my kids each night, but you don't see a review of that here, do you?

Levi Is An A-Hole. Period. - Guys like Levi Johnston make me glad that I only have sons. As much as folks want to blame Palin for stiff arming this moron, put yourself in her shoes. Sure, your daughter prolly should have kept it in her pants, but young girls make mistakes. Watching this d-bag carry on publicly and look for any way (including posing for something called "PlayGirl") to keep his name in the news just shows you what sorta character you're dealing with. I wouldn't want him around my grandchild either. At least Sarah and I can agree on that much.

Her Next Move?!? The Bank, Of Course. - In a display of just how media savvy and unintentionally brilliant this woman is, she surely won't announce any future plans other than "helping advance Conservative viewpoints" anytime soon. The more some morons think she will actually run (and could actually win) in 2012, the more she can command on the speaker's circuit, again making future generations of Palins richer and richer. I suspect that after the book tour winds down, she'll end up with a weekly infomercial show on Fox News that will be incredibly lousy (think "Huckabee"), but do amazing numbers just by virtue of the trainwreck potential alone. When the economy improves (and trust me, it will), she can pledge to sit out 2012 with a "focus on helping advance Conservative viewpoints", endorse an ultra-Conservative (and losing) candidate of her choice without any negative repercussions, and still whet the appetite of the many who think she'll run in 2016. Or 2020. Or 3023. Because some folks will never admit that she's got no shot, and never had one. And she'll just keep on cashing checks.

Get Money.

Question: Is Sarah Palin an undercover Rhodes scholar who is playing us all and laughing all the way to the bank, or is she as clueless as she seems, and only enabled by people even more cluelesser?!?

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