Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Missing Black Women? Uhhh, Seriously, Who The Heck Cares?!?

Not long after I started this blog, I stumbled across the case of a missing Black woman named Stepha Henry, and sorta kinda made it a mission of to keep the story in the news. Sadly, given the relative (compared to the wall to wall coverage of missing blondes) lack of media attention, Henry's case didn't receive the immediate attention needed, and she was later found to be murdered.

I really, really hope another young lady in California doesn't meet a similar fate.
Mitrice Richardson is afraid of the dark and always has been, says her mother, Latice Sutton, who remembers that quirk when she thinks about her daughter's release from a jail cell at a Los Angeles County sheriff's substation in Calabasas in the predawn hours of Sept. 17.

Wearing jeans and a dark T-shirt, Richardson, 24, had no car, no cellphone and no purse as she left the station about 1:25 a.m. The nearest Starbucks and fast-food restaurants are about a mile away in a shopping area. Beyond them stretches Las Virgenes Road, which turns into Malibu Canyon Road, winding through Malibu Canyon and emptying onto Pacific Coast Highway near Pepperdine University.

With the exception of a couple of probable sightings later that morning in the canyon, Richardson, a slender, 5-foot-5 black woman, has not been heard from since, her family says. Police have an unconfirmed sighting of her at a restaurant in West Hollywood early last week.

Her vanishing -- hours after her bizarre behavior at the restaurant Geoffrey's Malibu landed her briefly in jail -- prompted a massive but unsuccessful ground and air search Saturday by Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and Los Angeles Police Department personnel aided by trained volunteers.

A strange set of circumstances on the evening of Sept. 16 set the stage for Richardson's disappearance. It began when the management at Geoffrey's called the Sheriff's Department to have Richardson arrested for not paying $89.21 for a dinner of Kobe beef steak and an Ocean Breeze cocktail of rum, vodka and fruit juices.

When sheriff's deputies arrived and found a small amount of marijuana in her car, they impounded it and took her into custody on suspicion of defrauding an innkeeper and possession of the drug. Richardson was released on her own recognizance. She had passed a field sobriety test administered to her at the restaurant.

Sutton, who had planned to pick up her daughter in the morning when she thought she would be released, said she believes sheriff's deputies should have realized something was wrong. "If the officer saw her behavior and decided to administer a field sobriety test, he must have realized something was wrong," Sutton said.

Most everyone agrees something was wrong.

Richardson is a Cal State Fullerton graduate who had passed a test to become a substitute teacher and works as an executive assistant for a freight company. She lives with her great-grandmother in South Los Angeles because it is convenient for work, her mother said. "She worked, she found time to volunteer, she's highly responsible," Sutton said.

Why Richardson was in Malibu on a Wednesday evening is unknown. She sat alone at a table overlooking the ocean, but then attached herself to a large group nearby.

When she couldn't pay, she provided the phone number of her great-grandmother, who offered a credit card number. The restaurant requires a faxed signature -- credit card companies insist on it in cases of disputes, Peterson said -- but the woman did not have access to a fax machine.

Things got worse.

Richardson "said she was from Mars and started speaking in a made-up language," Peterson said his staff told him. "She did tell my valet at one point that she was here to avenge Michael Jackson's death."

Peterson said his staff became less concerned about the bill and more worried about her driving. Sutton said she was shocked when told that her daughter had not paid her bill, saying Richardson had $2,000 in a bank account.
Given the number of black blogs I frequent, I've been aware of Richardson's story for a week or so, but outside this sphere of information, you'd be hard pressed to find anything. A Google news search only pulled up a couple dozen results, this on a day when there's a search of sorts going on for Robinson in Malibu.

While it's easy to start pointing fingers at a media establishment that obviously doesn't give a crap about missing black folks, I'm taking a different stab at this. Yeah, I know CNN Headline News could probably get away with rebranding itself as The Missing White Chicks Network, and nobody would flinch (cause it's true), but isn't that somewhat of a copout?

A better question is WHERE THE F*CK IS CATHY HUGHES!?!?

Seriously, between TV One, Syndication One, and Radio One, she's got the ears and eyes of millions daily. I could be very very wrong, cause I haven't been listening to Rebb'n Al, nor The Black Eagle lately, but I doubt there are Arr'Neeyshia Amber Alerts for Richardson playing between the umpteenth spin of "Birthday Sex" at the top of each hour on your local Hot/Kiss/Power station.

[Editor's Update - HLN's Jane Velez-Mitchell had a few segments about this on last night's show. I stand corrected. Sorta.]

If black women, especially those that actually control what little black media actually remains (uhhh, Oprah?), don't give a hot sh*t about missing black women, then why in the ham sammich should we feign shock that the MSM doesn't care either?

It all sorta begins at home. Too bad home is too busy bumpin' "LOL, :-)" to notice.

Pray for Ms. Richardson.

Question: Does black media bear some of the blame for not highlighting missing black women? Can you blame the MSM for not?

Malibu-area search fails to find missing woman [LATimes]

R.I.P., Public Option (2009-2009)

Rejoice TeaBaggers, you've won. Break out the Milwaukee's Best!!!
The Senate Finance Committee rejected an amendment Tuesday that would have created a government-run health insurance plan, but debate over a proposed public plan is not expected to end at the committee.

By a 15-8 vote, the Finance panel rejected an amendment sponsored by Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., that would create a public health insurance option. Under Rockefeller's amendment, a government-run plan would inherit Medicare's network of doctors and hospitals and pay them based on Medicare payment rates for its first two years.

All Republicans on the panel voted against Rockefeller's amendment, in addition to Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus, D-Mont., and Sens. Bill Nelson, D-Fla., Kent Conrad, D-N.D., Blanche Lincoln, D-Ark., and Thomas Carper, D-Del.

Democrats supporting the Rockefeller amendment pointed to several states in which only a handful of insurers - sometimes as few as two - provide insurance coverage for the majority of those covered. The public option, they said, would guarantee a low-priced plan for consumers.

Republicans lambasted the amendment as an attempt to expand the federal government's reach and eliminate private insurers. A public plan would "crowd out" private insurers with artificially low prices, eventually forcing private insurers to absorb unpaid costs within the U.S. health system and charge their policyholders higher premiums.

Insurers are strongly opposed to a public health insurance plan in any form. Robert Zirkelbach, a spokesman for the America's Health Insurance Plans trade group, said in a statement that a public health insurance option "would dismantle employer coverage, bankrupt hospitals, and add to the federal deficit."

Members of AHIP include leading insurers such as Aetna Inc., Humana Inc., Cigna Corp. and UnitedHealth Group Inc.
While I'm decidedly pro-reform and pretty neutral on the public option as a whole (just do something, anything, please!) I find it quite amuzing that lobbyists for companies like Cigna, United Health, and Humana wield so much influence in this process, with lawmakers on both sides of the aisle in their back pockets. Then again, I can understand such dogged opposition to such reform, given the fact that each of those companies continues to gross staggering profits, and can afford to pay their CEOs a pot of gold coins in bonuses each year. On an unrelated note: 2,000 folks stood in line all day to get some free medical attention at a healthcare fair in Houston over the weekend.

Just throwing that one out there, is all I'm sayin'.

Either way, I just hope this doesn't signal the beginning of the end for healthcare reform. I know the protagonists (you know who) would much rather do nothing and "wait until the economy improves", which essentially means never.

We'll see.

Question: Do you think the prospect of the public option is officially dead? Do you think it's essential to any substantive HC reform, or merely another piece of the puzzle?

US Senate Panel Rejects Adding Public Plan To Health Bill [WSJ]

A Black Sitcom That Doesn't Suck.

Since the suits deepsixed King Of The Hill, I've been looking for a new sitcom as cartoon fix. Crappy as their news network is, you have to give Fox credit for keepin' their toon game on point. And while I'm not much of a fan of The Family Guy, I couldn't help but give a look at their newest offering, the black family spin-off The Cleveland Show.

I'll admit, the bears living next door seems really, really stoopid, and I'm a little peeved that some white dude is voicing Cleveland, which makes him sound extra corny. Seriously, was Ricky Smiley all that busy?

That said, the show's funny. It's a little crass at times, but still funny.

Question: Have you seen The Cleveland Show? What did you think?!?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

They Should Have Never Gave You Ni... Errr, African Americans Money.

Money + Spare Time = Negro Nonsense.

Witness the Media Day carnage that is one Wizards guard DeShawn Stevenson.
DeShawn Stevenson showed up with a new look -- on his face! He has a tattoo of the Pittsburgh Pirates "P" on his left cheek, but it's backwards, so it looks like a "9" when he's not looking in the mirror. The name of his son, Londyn, is on the side of his hairline. He also has a crack inked on the top of his forehead because "I don’t crack. I feel like people always try to break me, but I don’t crack. So, I put that there."


Stevenson also gave another explanation of the backward "P" on his face, again explaining that he was a fan of the Pirates and Barry Bonds growing up. But why is it backward?

"The tattoo artist said I'm looking at it [in a mirror] I can read it," he said. "I don't care about nobody else. It's my life, it's my face. I'm looking at it. So it's a P. I like looking at myself, everybody know that."
Nice look on the new Abe Lincoln neck tattoo also. Abolitionists, FTW!

Long as the guy plays solid perimeter D, I really couldn't care less, but it amazes me that folks don't think longterm before they impulsively get inked up like this.

Then again, at least Stevenson doesn't have his baby mama's lips tattooed on his neck. That might actually be worse.

Question: Do you have tatts? If so, please explain the attraction, cause I just don't get it.

Up close with DeShawn Stevenson's fresh ink [WashTimes]

Black America, What The Eff' Is Wrong With Us?!?

As a matter of editorial policy, I don't do posts about violent crime/murder stories, particularly those involving the police, or garden variety black-on-black crime. The reasons are many, and nicely outlined in this site's FAQ for those who've never taken the time to peruse it. Simply put, when stuff's so effed up, I really don't have anything to add opinion-wise, so I usually pass.

That said, I don't really even know the purpose of running this post, other than to ask the rhetorical question: Why the hell do we keep doing this sort of stuff to each other?
The Agape Community Center in Roseland has long been a sanctuary, a refuge for students who want to finish their homework, take Bible study courses or simply escape the chaotic streets in their Far South Side community.

But this place of refuge became the scene of a deadly melee Thursday when dozens of teenage boys converged in a vacant lot next to the community center, beating one another with fists, feet and 2-by-4s.

When it was all over, 16-year-old Derrion Albert lay on the gravel, his body dented and damaged from the pummeling. A youth worker at the center dragged Derrion's slight frame into the center, but it was too late. He died a short time later.

Witnesses and police said Friday that the Fenger High School junior was not a target but simply passed by the community center and was swept into the violent altercation. Walking from school, he fell victim to the violence plaguing some of Chicago's most dangerous neighborhoods.

The honor roll student known for his love of computers became the third Chicago teenager killed this month. At least seven more have been shot.

As friends propped teddy bears at the site of the beating -- creating the sort of street-side memorial that has become commonplace on the city's West and South Sides -- Derrion's family began planning a funeral for a young man who had dreams of going to college.

Derrion was small, only 5-foot-7. He was a "ladies' man" and a homebody, family members said.

Walker said his grandson asked if he could hang out with some friends Thursday after school. Walker said OK, but insisted Derrion be back by 7 p.m.

He never made it. Witnesses said Derrion was near the community center, 342 W. 111th St., when a group of teenagers walking east met up with a group coming from the west. The fight began, they said, with about 10 teenagers. By the time it was finished, witnesses and police said, more than 50 youths were involved.

Milton Massie, executive director of Agape, said video from a surveillance camera atop the community center shows Derrion being struck in the back of the head and moving away from the crowd.
If you don't have a strong stomach, please do not watch this video!!!

Awhile back, I stopped pushing The AverageBro Challenge™ as this site's underlying mission, in part because I'd begun to lose confidence that mentoring and otherwise working with kids actually has an effect after my humbling experience coaching basketball last winter. I don't know what, if anything, can be done to stop our children from behaving like animals[1], but I pray the thugs who took this young man's life in such a violent manner are given the death penalty.

Yeah, I said it. Kill these idiots. They are human trash. They do not deserve to live after what they did.

Where is the sense of human decency? What makes a person reflexively pull out a camera phone to tape a boy's final moments of life, rather than dialing 911? What makes the other kids simply look on, rather than trying, in some way, shape, or form, to stop their classmate from being murdered in cold blood? Why are some of the animals responsible for this death still roaming the streets of Chicago as I type this?

Again, where is the sense of human decency? How did we fall this far, and how in the Hell can we get back up?

Rest in Peace, Derrion.

MLK is crying inside. I'm crying on my keyboard.

Question: What the hell is wrong with our communities? What, short of Jesus returning, can be done to fix them?

16-year-old boy beaten to death in Roseland [ChiTribune]

[1] Yeah, I know, white kids behave like animals too. Guess what? We ain't talkin' bout' them right now.

Monday, September 28, 2009

It's Hoops Time.

Why kid myself? I tried to get into the NFL this season, but it's just Week 3 and the Skins are already out of playoff contention, plus my Fantasy team is already toast.[1] So you know what that means... NBA Training Camp is open. Media Day was yesterday. And Jesus smiled.

I already did my NBA Season Preview about 2 months ago (yeah, I was pressed), and went in depth on all the big name players changing places in the offseason. Shaq's a Cav. VC's a "Magic". Ron-Ron's a Laker. Lamar Odom's an idiot. Enough SuperTeam talk.

I suppose since I publicly threw my local NBA team under the bus last year[2], it's only poetic that I re-announce my fandom to the Washington Wizards. They made some nice offseason moves, but pretty much everything rides on the creaky, thrice-operated upon knee of quirky, once mercurial point guard, the $116M cap hold known as Gilbert Arenas. If Gil comes back 100%, the team wins 50 games, easy. He's just that good (albeit flawed) and entertaining a player.

If he doesn't, well, get The John Wall Lottery Ticker going.

That said, a few more not-so-bold predictions.

NBA Champion : San Antonio Spurs - Sorry Laker fans, but while everyone was gushing over the Cavs getting Shaq, and all the other offseason moves, the Spurs reloaded with established vets and not have the depth to compete in the West.

MVP : Tim Duncan - This obviously ties to the above point.

Rookie Of The Year : Jonny Flynn - I know the T-Wolves have about thismuch talent on their roster, and a front office that gets robbed everytime they make a transaction. But Flynn is good enough to put up really nice stats on a bad team. Sometimes that's enough to win RoY. See Also: Stoudamire, Damon.

Rookie Bust : Hasheem Thabeet - I mean, come on. Given all the ballhogs in Memphis, how likely is it this guy gets more than 3 touches a game? Can you say Dsagana Diop 09'?!?

Biggest Disappointment : Cavs - The Shaq/Bron duo sounds good on paper, but has anyone else noticed how badly Shaq's most recent stops have ended? I don't see this being any different.

Biggest Surprise : Hawks - Seriously, I know the Hawks are about as popular in ATL as those Real Housewvives are classy (which is to say, not very much), but they've made some nice pickups in the offseason, and managed to resign all their free agents. I see a trip to the lEastern Conference Finals for these guys. Too bad there won't be more than a few dozen folks in Phillips Arena to witness it.

Question: Got any bold NBA predictions of your own?!?

[1] Thanks for nothing Brian Westbrook and Randy Moss. Seriously. Thanks.

[2] The photo caption on that post still tickles me, and I wrote it. Seriously, go look at it. I amaze myself sometimes. Is Now Taking Requests...

The Request Line Is Open. Yep, still trolling for ideas, this is gonna be a looong week. Gimme your leads. You got em', send em'.

In the meantime, here's a trio of Request Line songs. My favorite is obvious.

The 80's breakdance anthem by RockMaster Scott. Sadly, breakdancing is something I never could quite figure out.

Zhane's hit single, which I am just now realizing was a bookend of sorts to their first single, "Hey Mister DJ". Yeah, I'm just vapid like that.

The pre-Fergie Black Eyed Peas, back when they were a bunch of ultra corny breakdancing wannabe hipsters. Well, that hasn't exactly changed, has it?

Question: Got any story ideas? Drop your ideas and links in the comment box. Which version of Request Line is the best?!?

Uh, Wrong Kardashian, Lamar.

Yeah, I'm bein' petty. But I got a whole 7 days sans you-know-who to fill. You got some better ideas, get at me.
It's official! Reality star Khloe Kardashian is the wife to Los Angeles Laker player Lamar Odom.

The couple wed Sunday evening at the Beverly Hills estate of music mogul and Kardashian family friend Irving Azoff, People. com reports. Khloe, 25, wore a Vera Wang gown and was escorted down the aisle by her stepfather Bruce Jenner with her sisters Kim and Kourtney by her side.

It appears the channel wants to open the new season of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" in December with a show about the wedding.

Problem is that Odom, who just signed a new $30-million NBA agreement and reportedly wants a prenup with Khloe, didn't give the lawyers enough time to draw up papers.

So yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding, according to reports.

In the works is a plan for a post-nup that will keep the marriage from being official until both sides sign.

The bridal party also included Khloe's half-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner. A ten-piece orchestra played during the ceremony and the wedding flowers were white.

Of the 250 guests to attend the "Keeping Up with Kardashians" star's black-tie wedding ceremony, famous faces included: Ryan Seacrest, Kelly Osbourne, Kobe Bryant, "The Insider" host Lara Spencer, and more!
Say, Lamar, can we have a talk for a moment? Just a moment, I'll keep it brief, I know you have playbooks to study, or some such nonsense.

Dude, what are you thinking? Marrying a Kardashian is bad enough, but you do realize you didn't marry the good looking one, or even the sorta good looking one, right? Don't you?

No, you married the really, really Chyna-ish looking one. That's not Kim.

Seriously, you're an NBA player. You guys pretty much can have your pick. Why aim low? Aim higher, Lamar. Higher.

Worst of all, you didn't even wait a full month, and your dumb ass didn't even get her to sign a prenup (or so they say). Man, ask Kobe how that one's gonna turn out. Prolly not that good. I just hope you ain't marry her cause she's pregnant. Do some basic math, man, you dated her for one month. I know your doctored SAT's and that one year internship at URI didn't give you the bestest of book sense, but surely you can add 2 and 2. It don't equal pregnant, Lamar.

So yeah, basically, you're screwed.

Long as you do your usual disappearing act when you play my Wizards, I guess we're cool.

But I give you till Christmas, tops. Sorry.

- AB

Question: What's a reasonable time for folks to date before marrying? What the heck is Lamar thinking?

Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom Wed! [ETOnline]

Race Peddling Poverty Pimps.

The prevailing notion in the Black community seems to be that Tavis Smiley was sippin' Haterade when he made some incendiary remarks during last year's Presidential campaign. I could sorta understand some of the criticism, given the timing, but I certainly understood and agreed with Smiley's overall notion that folks should be levelheaded and ask questions, as opposed to being caught up in history. I liked Tavis before, and I continued to like him after.

One thing that's always sorta bothered me about Smiley is his sleight of hand when it comes to challenging Corporate America. Folks will likely remember that particularly bad incident when Smiley and Tom Joyner got ahold of a chain email about "non-Urban Dictates", and were asking listers to boycott companies like CompUSA, which allegedly had policies stating that they wouldn't run spots on black media outlets. The whole thing ended up being a farce for which Smiley and Joyner were allegedly threatened with a lawsuit, only to backpedal and drop the issue swiftly. Given that bit of curious activism, the fact that Smiley's once-interesting Negro Soundbyte Olympics™ annual State Of The Black Union has been sponsored by companies like Walmart and CountryWide which don't exactly have the of cleanest records. To the casual viewer, it's quite reasonable to conclude that Smiley is talking out of both sides of his mouth.

A recent lawsuit only adds to the issue of perception.
As the housing market began booming in the mid-2000s, Wells Fargo & Co. teamed up with prominent African American commentator and PBS talk show host Tavis Smiley and financial author Kelvin Boston, the host of “Moneywise,” a multicultural financial affairs show, to host something called “Wealth Building” seminars in black neighborhoods.

Smiley was the keynote speaker, and the big draw, according to Boston and Keith Corbett, executive vice president of the Center for Responsible Lending, who attended two of the seminars. Smiley would charge up the audience — and rattle the Wells Fargo executives in attendance — by launching into a story about how he hated banks, and how they used to refuse to lend him money for his real estate projects in Compton, Calif., and elsewhere. After Hurricane Katrina, Smiley also emphasized the importance of building assets and wealth, saying those who had done so were able to leave New Orleans, while people with nothing had to stay behind, Boston said.

The seminars in some cities drew standing room only crowds, with numerous Wells Fargo representatives on hand, seated at carrels to meet one-on-one with potential borrowers who lined up after the speeches, which were usually held in hotels. The free, day-long events were heavily advertised in the black media, and launched in eight cities, including Baltimore, Chicago, Richmond, Va., and San Francisco.

But what appeared on the surface as a way to help black borrowers build wealth was actually just the opposite, according to a little-noticed explanation of the “Wealth Building” seminar strategy, contained in a lawsuit recently filed by Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan.

Wells’ plan for the seminars all along was to target black borrowers for higher-cost subprime mortgages, not for wealth-building, the suit charged. And the seminars were a part of the bank’s overall illegal and discriminatory practice of steering black and Hispanic borrowers into riskier and more expensive loans, the suit said.

Wells Fargo, one of the nation’s largest mortgage lenders and a recipient of $25 billion in government bailout money, has denied all the charges in the Illinois suit, as well as other allegations of unfair lending. The bank did not respond to requests for comment on the seminars.
I have firsthand knowledge of what went on here, because, prolly like some of you, I actually went to one of these seminars about 5-6 years ago. The whole "flip this house" thing was a big novelty at the time, so when a seminar was scheduled in nearby Prince Georges County, I decided to go check it out. Much like the lawsuit seems to allege, the seminar wasn't really about "wealth building" at all, each speaker, including Boston (Smiley wasn't there) kept talking about "homeownership this, homeownership that". In PG County, which is the home of hundreds of black millionaires and the most wealthy majority black jurisdiction in the US, this was sorta like preaching to the choir. Still, I managed to corner one of the Wells Fargo reps during a break and ask her some pointed questions about how to best finance a flip. She was clueless, but have some a brochure outlining their programs to take home. AverageSis (who did home lending before becoming a stay at home Mom) took one look at the brochure and threw it in the trash. Although I clearly didn't know better, she did. And you wonder why I married this woman.

I'm not saying the lawsuit is valid, that's waaay above my paygrade. But I certainly walked out of that seminar feeling a bit mislead, given how the agenda was described beforehand. And I lost a wee bit of respect for Kelvin Boston, a guy whom I used to idolize when I tuned in to MoneyWise, for seemingly getting himself in bef with the wrong folks. I assume many who were duped are feeling far worse about Smiley right now.

The sad thing is, this sort of situation can easily overshadow all the good that a guy like Smiley's done throughout his career. It also makes you wonder why folks who've done so much good take silly chances in the name of just making another buck, apparently not realizing that people will likely remember your screw ups more than anything else positive you've done. Like the Al Sharpton's payday loan commercial. Or Jesse Jackson shaking down beer distributors. Or Magic Johnson pitching Rent-A-Center and its outlandish $2,700 13" TVs.

Or this monstrosity.


Seriously, folks, is it really worth all that for an extra buck? I think not.

Question: Does the "bad" you do outweight the good you've done? Did you go to one of those wealth building seminars? Is it sorta sad that guys like Jackson, Sharpton, and Smiley have to do this sorta stuff for money?

Suit Alleges Trusted Blacks Drew Minorities to High-Rate Loans [WashIndy]

Channel Your Inner White Guy - The Eurythmics.

I knew that if I kept doing this Channel Your Inner White Guy series, I'd eventually move beyond blue eyed soul singers that have some level of street cred, and venture all the way into just plain ole' white dudes with no hood appeal. Today, my friends, is such a day. Yes, I realize this feature may not be for everyone. No, I do not care.

As ya'll know, growing up in suburban NC in the 80's, there was no BET, and MTV barely played any black artist not named Michael or Prince. So I absorbed lots of music I prolly wouldn't have otherwise. The Eurythmics are such an example, and I love me some Eurythmics, especially frontwoman Annie Lennox. Peep this collection of their greatest hits.

Question: What's your favorite Eurythmics tune?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

What's On AB's iPod?!? - Fly.Union

If you like tight beats, tight rhymes, and Free99 price tags,[1] you should cop this week's WOAI offering, Value Pack III by Columbus, OH rap crew, Fly.Union.

Download Value Pack III by Fly.Union.

Fly.Union Official Website [Download Value Packs I & II] [Group Management]

[1] Seriously, what more could you want?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Obama's Plan For Child Indoctrination, Revealed!!!

And here we were, all tied up on flowery stay-in-school speeches, and step routines. Wouldn't you know it, The Obama Administration is coming for your chill'rens in a much more covert way. They're just sneaky and anti-American like that.

Question: Is this commercial really creepy or is it just me?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Pre-NoBama Week Video Purge.

The Inaugural NoBama Week™ begins Sunday. It's exactly what it sounds like, 7 days, no Barry. I'm even instituting a "swear jar" type thing that will pay the first person who catches me slipping. In the meantime, here's some parting shots. Hey, I gotta run this stuff sometime.

DC Tea Partiers Tell It Like It Is. Whatever The Heck "IT" Is.

Why do I get the impression that just like The Jena Six, many of these folks just got caught up in the media hoopla and have no freakin' idea what they're actually protesting. One dude (the one mocking crucifixion at 2:04 mark) even admits he just wanted an excuse to visit DC for the first time. Guy at 2:55 supports Joe Wilson for Prez, until given an inconvenient fact. The couple at 3:48 think it's okay to mock Ted Kennedy's death. Kid at 4:32 mark thinks "most of the country has already been destroyed. Guy at 4:48 says "Obama = Antichrist" is in the bible. Porty chick at 5:15 plays the "save the country for my Grandchildren" line. Woman at 5:45 mark still believes the "civilian armed forces" urban legend. I would keep going, but the f*ckery is so extensive, and I've got better things to do. And to think, these "real Americans" are the folks punking Obama and Co. into not pushing healthcare legislation.

Sadly, I can listen to these folks, and definitively state that no fewer than half of them are from my home state of NC. And that's just lovely.

Black FAMU Professor Ethers Bill O'Reilly

Man, this guy just out thinks and overtalks Bill O. In rap parlance, this is often referred to as "getting murdered on your own sh*t". After that embarrassing Cam'ron/Dame Dash debacle, you'd think Bill O would have learned by now, "don't let guests get out of hand". Dr. Jeremy Levitt, you sir, are da' man.

Glenn Beck Boils A Frog On Live TV

Glenn Beck boiling fake frogs to prove a fake point = lame.

Glenn Beck jumping in boiling water to prove a fake point = Tivo-worthy.

Ya'll let me know when that one's scheduled.

Obama Indoctrination Video?!?

The GOP is using this video as proof of Obama's plan to indoctrinate American schoolkids. As much as it makes me cringe to hear any remotely partisan speech in public schools, some context is necessary: this was part of a Black History Month celebration, so it sorta kinda makes sense. But why let sense get in the way of a good GOP fundraising scheme bit of fear mongering?!?

Roy Blunt Calls Obama A Monkey?!?

This isn't "racist". Sorry. It's a very lame analogy, and little more. Next.

Question: Comments? Observations? Do you think I can make it through a whole week without using the word "Obama"?

What Would You Do?!? - Let Her Win Or Not?!?

With two young kids at home, the concept of free time is a thing of the past. But every now and then, when the boys are squared away, AverageSis and I break out the Wii, and like most folks, we prefer Wii Sports.

My wife isn't much of a gamer, so "us playing Wii" typically consists of me trying to explain the controls of some game to her, her getting frustrated and wanting to quit, and eventually us shutting the game off. Thankfully, a few months back, she discovered she was really good at Wii Bowling, and next thing you know, she's beating me (not that I play much either) on the regular.

Prideful man that I am, I can't just get my butt whipped without trying to improve. So, I went online, and found out that there was a actually a technique to how you hold the controller when you swing that more or less guarantees (shocker) a strike each and every time if done right. And now, of course I'm back to beating her with regularity (I bowled a 195!) and she doesn't really want to play anymore.

So here's the problem: I actually enjoy playing Wii with my wife (the kids ain't old enough yet), but since the games aren't really competitive anymore, it's hard to keep her interested in playing. And now I'm wondering if I should just take one for the team and start letting her win, just because.

What do ya'll think?!?

[Ironic Editor's Update: I wrote this post Thursday morning. Last night, in the name of further research, I suggested we play again. I sorta kinda forgot that Wii is smart enough to make itself more difficult once it tracks your tendencies. Long story short, she absolutely destroys me in three straight games, then I magically win the 4th. So I ask her, "are you letting me win?" and she just smiled. See why I married this woman?]

Question: What Would You Do? Is it ever okay to let someone win?

Black White Or Other?!? - The Cassanova Bandit.

Stereotypes are a way of life in America. We feed into them so readily that they take on a life of their own. But just how well do you really know your racial stereotypes?

Black, White, Or Other? lists a particularly heinous crime/news story, with incriminating bits of info omitted for the sake of confidentiality. Your job is to guess whether the protagonist is black, white, or the omnipresent "other", and to tell why you guessed how you did. The best guessplanation wins a week's supply of Cyber CapriSuns. And yeah, you could prolly Google the news story to find out the race of the person, but what sorta loser does that? Seriously. And if you already know about the story, and thus the answer, sit this one out. Be a good sport. Don't cheat.

Anyways, here's today's entry...
A robbery suspect was arrested when he returned to the scene of the crime to ask the victim out on a date, police said.

[redacted] police allege that [redacted], 20, was among three men who robbed a couple late Sunday.

Sgt. [redacted] said the woman recognized [redacted] as one of the robbers when he returned to ask her out about two hours later. She had a relative call 911.

Police said [redacted] was arrested in front of the home. He was arraigned Tuesday on a charge of aggravated robbery and was being held in the [redacted] County jail on $100,000 bail.
Question: Is the Cassanova Bandit in this story Black, White, or Other? Why?

Name That Sample - "Ticks Of The Trade"

Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This obscure tune by John Ottoman has been sampled only once to my knowledge, but the song it was used for will be verrrry familiar. Who can name the song that used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Extreme. Hint, the sample is a mere 3 seconds, but you'll know it when you hear it. If you're listening.

Question: What notable song used the "Ticks Of The Trade" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss the answer. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Thursday, September 24, 2009 Fight Night

I know I pop a lot of sh*t here about how boxing ain't like it used to be, and how PPV ruined the whole thing, and how the lack of marketable heavyweights probably means things won't get better anytime soon. But there's one thing that's beyond debate: boxing is one heckuva sport when seen live, in person.

I've been to a half dozen or so fight nights in and around the DC area, including that infamous Tyson fight that essentially signaled the end of his career. TV does the sport no justice. When you're there in person, you can feel (and hear) the punches. You can pick fun at how folks wear the tackiest, most over the top (seriously, furs in the Summertime?!?) mess just to be seen. You can gawk at the girls who carry those oversized cards between rounds.[1] You can smell the odd mixture of Hennessy, Newports, and Old Spice in the air. And of course, there's always the chance that someone gets knocked out really bad, which is so much more awesome in person.

If you've never experienced boxing live, you have no idea what you're missing out on.

The AverageBros and I will catch a local card here this weekend, as boxing returns to The Patriot Center in Fairfax, VA.
Local fan favorite Jimmy Lange of Great Falls, VA headlines his eighth professional boxing show at the Patriot Center this Saturday, September 26, in his first World Boxing Council (WBC) U.S. National Boxing Council (USNBC) title defense by facing Jonathan Reid, a former teammate from The Contender boxing show, in a 12-Round contest. Tickets for “Saturday Night Fights,” an eight-bout card by Ice Promotions presented by Valcourt Building Services, start at only $30 and can be purchased at all Ticketmaster locations or at the door.

In addition to Lange, the rest of the lineup is arguably the best Beltway boxing card of 2009, showcasing the region’s top talent highlighted by the return of former WBO world champion and Washington, D.C. native DeMarcus “Chop Chop” Corley in his first area appearance since December 2004.

Four local products will put their undefeated records on the line including much-talked about, rising national lightweight prospect Bayan “The Mongolian Mongoose” Jargal of Arlington, VA. Another Arlington fighter, Tracy Brewer, challenges Columbia, MD’s Barry Trotter, while light heavyweight up-and-comer Alexander “The Great” Johnson (6-0, 3 KOs) of Oxon Hill, MD seeks his seventh straight victory without a loss. Popular featherweight Jennifer “The Bolivian Queen” Salinas of Manassas, VA makes her second appearance at the Patriot Center as does D.C.’s Kendrick Walker. Middleweight rivals, Tony “Mo Better” Jeter of Columbia and Keith Gross of Prince Fredrick will clash for Maryland bragging rights.

Ticketmaster -, 703-573-SEAT, 202-397-SEAT or 410-547-SEAT, Ticketmaster outlets, Patriot Center box office. Tickets available at the door.
Hope to see ya'll there.

For more info on the card, see IP

Question: Have you ever seen boxing in person?!?

[1] Uh, there's an official name for this, right?

3 Play Thursday - Anita Baker.

[Editor's Note: Yep, new feature. Every Thursday, I'll play 3 tracks from one of my favorite artists. You add the pithy comments.]

Motor City songstress Anita Baker is a true legend of R&B/Soul music, winning eight Grammy Awards, and garnering four platinum albums and two gold albums to her credit. Sadly, she doesn't seem to be recording or touring anymore, a great career shortened by health and family problems. But damn if Nita' ain't put out some classic material in the 80's and 90's. Here's a trio of my favorites.

1. "Angel"

Man, if there any more beautiful song than "Angel"? I don't even need to add commentary to this. Just cop the headphones already.

If heaven had a soundtrack, Anita Baker would definitely be somewhere on it.

2. "I Apologize"

I'll admit, I wasn't really feelin' this song when it came out. Supposedly a song about her own personal relationships, it always struck me as an odd choice for a single.

Only after my own Pops died did I actually understand the lyrics. Nuff' said.

3. "Talk To Me"

Classic. Period.

Question: What's your favorite Anita Baker tune?!?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Totally Random Thoughts With

Most folks know Larry King as the curmudgeonly host of a lousy talk show on CNN, but those of you over age 18 might recall that he used to pen a comically bad weekly column in USAToday, aka: The McPaper. The term "column" is really a misnomer, because more than anything else it was really just a bunch of random thoughts and non sequiturs tossed together. Dude would go from name dropping some actor in one sentence to grousing about the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip in the next.[1] The net result was sorta like reading this.

Yikes. Some folks called this a stroke of genius, but most of us would prolly consider it drunk blogging.

Since ain't sh*t else really goin' on right now[2], why not just rip off Larry's idea and make it mine? So I present to ya'll, Totally Random Thoughts With

No Obama Week Is Coming - I'll admit it: I'm all Obama'ed out. Beginning Sunday, marks its first ever NoObama Week™. I don't give a care if healthcare passes, Obama smacks the crap outta Joe Wilson, or if Sasha and Malia both turn up pregnant. There will be NO OBAMA at for the entire week of September 27th!!! Seriously, watch this and you'll understand why.

Yep, I deserve a break. I won't even mention that 5 letter word a single time here. If you need your Barry fix, there are plenty of other places to get it. Sorry.

She Hate Me - A certain commenter who has been tormenting the boards under a "Phony" name sent me the most vicious, hateful email I've ever received in the 1,700 post history of Folks, I realize ya'll like Obama. But darnit, you don't have to defend everything he does to the death. I love my wife like she's an NBA League Pass, but I sure as heck don't agree with her all the time. That said, how silly is it to assume that anyone who disagrees with The Beige One in any way, shape, or form, is somehow some self-hating bootlicking Tom? Color me stoopid, but before you write a 20 page diatribe to some random blogger you don't know from Adam (ie: me), you might just wanna get your mind right. I'm just sayin'. And ya'll wonder why I do this anonymously.[3]

Twitter Beefin' - Anyone else follow that whole Fabolous vs Bow Wow cyber battle earlier this week? While it was pretty funny to read all the tweets and listen to these two relatively untalented cRappers go in on each other, it's also sad because this seems to be the future of rap beefs. Imagine how lame Nas vs Jigga, or Juice Crew vs Hilltop Hustlers woulda been if it was played out on the web, rather than on wax. Personally, I preferred Fab snatching NBA player's chains to Fab ethering a midget with bad photoshop jobs, but hey, that's just me being negative and disparaging other black men as usual.

Luv & Murrage - I don't talk "personal" stuff on this blog, by my cyber homegirl OneChele from Black & Bougie asked me to give my 2 cents on a few issues pertinent to marriage as part of yesterday's edition of her excellent "relationship week" series. Peep that.

University of Virginia Is One Lovely School - I found myself on the road for a recruiting trip to UVa earlier this week. Coming from an HBCU, I am continually shocked at just how truly sh*tty all our facilities were by comparison. Every new building at UVa is built in the same colonial, bricks and columns architecture, which makes for a uniformly beautiful campus. My HBCU? That sh* t was built in stages, and it shows. Half the campus is modeled off prison blueprints from the early 1900's, half looks 2050 space age, and the final half looks like Cabrini Green. Man, do Negroes get the shaft all around or what?

Jockin' Jay-Z - I'll admit it, after I heard the first 3-4 songs leaked from The Blueprint III, I figured it was time to send The JiggaMan out to the glue factory. But I acquired a copy of this over the weekend, and believe it or not, the guy's actually redeemed himself.

I don't know if he's finally ditched the idiot savant act and decided to start writing again or what, but he's lyrically sharp. And by going back to "name" producers and avoiding trendy gimmicks, the overall quality of BP3 is hard to defy. Ya' boy is back. I stand corrected. 41 years old rappers, FTW!!!

The Era Of The "Fight Party" Is Over - Yeah, I dropped $59.99 on that Mayweather fight. And yeah, after watching him pummel his outmatched opponent for 12 rounds, I wanted my money back. Until boxing finally starts developing some new heavyweights, I just can't stomach outlandish PPV rates to watch a bunch of 127 pounders hug each other for an hour. No more. Never again.

SyFy Is The Best TV Network Evar - Seriously, have ya'll watched this channel? Yeah, all the movies are cheap and formulaic, but it's a station invented for big a$$ Hi Def screens.

Where else can you watch a movie about a killer mutant polar bear in 50 inch glory?

LeafBlowers Are Racist - I know this sounds jive silly, but now that I've got a real yard and some real money, I'm seeing just how neglected my childhood was from a lawn maintenance perspective. My Pops made me and my brothers bust our butts every weekend bagging and dragging pine straw, raking leaves, and picking up lawn trimmings. And even though my working-class Southern neighborhood was full of Dads, nobody else had anything more than a lawnmower, and all the kids were herded into chattel slavery every weekend. Now, I have leafblowers, edgers, a lawnmower with a freakin' bag and 80 other contraptions that make keeping my lawn up to par a breeze. So I'm wondering, was this lack of lawn maintenance tools some form of systematic racism, or was my Pops just really cheap?!?

Question: Any thoughts on my thoughts?!?

[1] Can you tell the difference? I can't.

[2] Although, I should note, I read every news link ya'll send, and I thank you. But I just ain't up to it right now.

[3] Shots fired. If you wanna read this rambling, hateful, barely legible monstrosity, drop me a note and I'll send it to you with the author's name redacted. I'm sure she'd like to spellcheck that if given a second shot. Guest Movie Review - Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself.

[Editor's Note: As ya'll know, I've made my peace with Tyler Perry, and more or less accept his movies for what they are. That said, I'm especially grateful that AverageSis seems to have totally forgotten that this movie was released, thus sparing me the torture of watching and reviewing it. Unfortunately, EbonyGentleman wasn't so lucky. And just as a word of warning, this is more of a Cliff Notes version of the movie than an actual review. Spoilers ahead. If you were planning on dropping $40 on this, you should prolly pass.]

I hit the movie theaters sporadically now. When I lived in Atlanta, GA in 2000, my buddy and I would hit the AMC 24 in Jonesboro nearly every Friday night. It was the spot to be for young folks with plenty of extra cash to blow. At nearly every new blockbuster and black comedy that released, my pal and I would be getting tickets, gawking at the perfect 10 female Atlanta Peaches, hot cars and living the prime of youth.

Ah, how I sometimes miss the olden days of big money, watching the prostitutes walk on Metropolitan (Stuart) Avenue in front of all of the Strip Clubs and trying to live "the life."

Fast forward to 2009, and I'm married, dang near broke, dang near dead with a heart condition and lucky enough to afford buffet at the local pizza joint.

So it was with a heavy sigh that I promised my wife that I would take her to see Tyler Perry's new celluloid. I'd sworn off Perry's stuff recently because I figured that he'd become the T.D. Jakes of cinema, only to serve the needs of his female viewers rather than give the men (who mostly bring them) something to smile about.


"I can Do Bad" is your typical Madea movie. That's not to say that it's a bad movie by any means. It's pretty good by THAT standard, if a little long. For those that have watched Tyler's previous works, this is essentially a carbon copy of them.

Taraji P. Henson plays a nightclub singer named April who's addicted to alcohol, cigarettes and is sleeping around with a married man named Randy (Brian White). She's very selfish and really doesn't care about anything else. Randy, on the other hand, is a buffed up mean S.O.B. He has a bad attitude and likes to intimidate others. He's also helping April pay the bills around the raggedy house that she inherited.

While April is doing her thing at the club owned by her pal Tanya (Mary J. Blige), a break-in is happening at Madea's House. Madea finds three kids trying to steal a VCR. She and and her brother Joe (Tyler Perry) proceed to smack the kids around a bit before sitting them down at her kitchen table.

The kids: Jennifer (Hope Wilson), Manny (Kwesi Boakye) and a challenged younger brother named Byron (Frederick Siglar) confess to Madea that they haven't eaten in four days. Their grandmother "Mama" Rose has been missing and no one has been able to care for them since their mother died. Madea feeds the kids while Joe talks his usual trash. Manny tells Madea that the only other relative they have is their Aunt April (Henson).

The next morning at April's, Randy is getting dressed when his wife calls his cell. After the brief convo, Randy tells April that his wife is pregnant. This is Randy's seventh or eighth kid (I lost count) and he tells April that he HATES kids because child support payments are hurting that wallet. He rolls out and April tries to go back to sleep.

Her rest is interrupted when Madea and the kids show up. April initially denies them until one of the kids speaks out. April learns about the kids actions and her mother's disappearance and agrees to let the kids stay temporarily until Rose is found. Madea and April make a deal to let the kids work off the damages at Madea's house.

April gets into it with Jennifer (who also has a bad attitude), and it is here that's it's revealed that the kid's mother was a crackhead and died from the drug abuse. April leaves the kids to fend for themselves in the living room and goes back to sleep.

At the nearby church with Pastor Brian (Marvin Winans) a food drive is going on. The Pastor and his fellow member Wilma (Gladys Knight) meet up with an old friend named Sandino (Adam Rodriguez). Sandino tells the two that he remembered the Pastor from a missionary work in South America and is in the USA to start a new life. He's homeless and jobless however, but he's a talented handyman. Pastor Brian arranges for Sandino to do repair work in the church and find him a place to stay.

That place is, you guessed it: April's house.

While these two are negotiating, Jennifer is seen running from a store near the church and is captured by the owner at the church steps. The shopkeeper tells the Pastor that she was caught stealing syringe needles. Pastor Brian makes peace and the shopkeeper lets her go. Jennifer tells the pastor of all that has happened. Rose is a member of the church and lives next door to Wilma. No one has seen her.

Pastor Brian visits April, brings back Jennifer and asks her to lodge Sandino. She begrudgingly agrees and Sandino offers to help fix up the house in exchange. Jennifer explains why she stole the needles. Manny is a diabetic and desperately needs his insulin.

Later on, Randy comes back and sees the kids and Sandino. He does his "bad mofo" shtick, calls Sandino 'Mexico' and 'illegal', and starts eyeballing the 16 year old Jennifer lustfully. Sandino doesn't reply, but acts intimidated at Randy's insults. At the nightclub, Wilma tries to talk to April but she's not having it. So Wilma is asked to come onstage and sing a song (to uplift her). It's a magical scene and Gladys Knight still has that touch.

About halfway into the film, we learn that Mama Rose died on a bus of a brain aneurysm and had been dead a week. Because no one bothered to visit the morgue, she was cremated. Pastor Brian and Wilma bring her ashes back to April, who now realizes that she's the sole caretaker of her sister's kids. Sandino is there to comfort her and starts his role as "Heaven Sent Good Man". They both spend time with each other, even going to CHURCH together. (By the way, the church scene was about 10 minutes TOO long.)

Mary J. Blige does her part as "Sista RealTalk" and sings a Chick Anthem. Madea tries to give good Biblical advice (which is ALL F'ed up) to Jennifer who's facing a possibility of living in a Foster home. Sandino has fixed up an old room in April's house for the kids. While Manny and Byron is happy about the new room, Jennifer tells her brothers that April doesn't want them there, and they will continue to sleep in the living room until they have to leave.

Near the end, while Jennifer is getting an insulin shot for Manny, Randy tries to rape her. Sandino comes in like Hacksaw Jim Duggan and whacks Randy with a 2X4. They start brawling and Sandino is winning the fight until April walks in. Sandino's holding a crying Jennifer and explains to April what Randy did. Randy lies and says that April tried to sex him up for money. April says she believes Randy and goes upstairs.

Now the big scene.

Randy is in the tub nursing his wounds. April asks him what happened and Randy lies again. April sees thru the lies and gets a boombox and plugs it in. She threatens to drop it into the tub with Randy who is now no longer the "bad mofo" he was earlier the film. April goes on a tirade about how she was nearly raped and how Randy was just like the man who tried to do it to her.

In goes the BoomBox.....



(I looked at my wife and said, "I DID NOT PAY TO SEE THAT." Because I knew what it meant. The audience popped. The women whooped and hollered. To be fair, the nudity was brief but still, Tyler has done it again. I swear, I think he loves seeing naked and half naked men. I'll say it now, Tyler Perry is going to come out in the near future.)

Anyway, April is so pissed off that she's off on another drunken binge at Tanya's Bar. Sandino kicks out Randy, takes his key, secures the kids and goes to talk to April. April in her drunkenness accuses Sandino of looking at Jennifer and being a child molester.(?!?!) She questions him about why he cares for those kids so much, and Sandino give a tirade about how he was involved in underage labor back in South America, and was a victim of abuse. After more back and forth from these two, April tells Sandino to leave the house.

Sandino goes back and says goodbye to the kids and tells them that he will stay in touch with them. The following morning, April and Jennifer reconcile and April agrees to let the kids stay for good. While going thru some of her mother's things that Wilma dropped off the movie goes the route of 'The Color Purple':

The church just happens to sing one of "Mama Rose's" favorite songs, so loud in fact that April can hear it. She starts singing, including jump cuts of her drinking coffee and smoking a cig. Sandino is in the church and goes up for prayer. Jennifer tells April that Sandino is a good man and she shouldn't let him go, and starts repeating the same Bible Stories that Madea told her.

Then Sandino enters. The dialog gets so sappy here that YOU WILL CRINGE when you hear it. Sandino tells April that he loves her. They kiss, and the camera cuts to the church where we see Sandino and April after their wedding. They dance out into the street Breakin 2' style for their Wedding Block Party starring Mary J. Blige who gives us one more Chick Anthem for the road.

Fade to Black....(with outtakes).

EG's Final Verdict: Considering what I was working with, and how I didn't have high expectations for the film in the first place. My wife liked the film and is happy about it, so I'm happy that she's happy. 2.5 Stars (Out Of 5)

Question: Did you see this film? What are your thoughts on it?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Poll Position - Obama Is Slippin'. Sorta.

Looks like The Beige One has pulled yet another rabbit out of the proverbial hat.

After a long, hot summer of townhalls, marching teabaggers, and loose lipped rappers, I figured Obama's reign on the top was short like Leprechauns. But wouldn't you know it, AverageNation™ still has confidence in the President, and the lastest AverageNation™ Obama Approval Rating didn't budge nearly as much as one might have suspect. Barry pulled a sweet %76 when we last surveyed the land in June. And it looks like he's holding serve.

I am still squarely behind the President, and think he's doing a good job, all things considered. The recent address to Congress definitely helped. Would I love to see him check some fools, and be a bit more proactive, as opposed to reactive, as a leader? Sure. But I'd also like fat free cheeseburgers, a chauffeured Bentley, and a pay raise. None of those things is gonna happen. It is, what it is.

Question: Do you approve, or disapprove of the job Obama is doing to date? Why? What could change your vote next time around?

Please Give This Man A TV Show, Now!!!

Seriously, what will it take to get some timid MSNBC exec to pull the level on this? Why not give Ed Schultz the boot right now?

Question: Was Screamin' A. ever get another shot at his own show?

Name That Sample - "One Night Love Affair"

Name That Sample is simple: I play the original song, you tell me who sampled it. Winner gets a day's supply of Cyber CapriSuns™. As always, no Googling! Google is for losers.

This classic soul tune by The Stylistics has been sampled dozen of times, most notably by a slept-on single by a prolific hip hop duo. But who can name the most songs that have used these delightful bars?

Difficulty Level: Extreme

Question: How many songs can you name that used the "One Night Love Affair" for Storage" sample? Don't be fooled into just listening to the opening bars, or you'll prolly miss half the possible answers. Feel free to cheat and use other commenters' work, but do NOT Google! Google is for losers.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Has Obama Ever Thrown A White Guy Under The Bus?!?

As much as I like President Obama, one thing about him continually frustrates me. Namely, the ease and frequency with which he introduces fellow AverageBros to the undercarriage of GreyHound One.

Seriously, look at all the black bodies he's piled up. Rebb'n Wright. Jesse Jackson. Ludacris. Van Jones. Kanye West.

Is this Barack Hussein Obama or Omar Devone Little?!?

Add one more to the list.
President Obama is urging embattled New York Gov. David Paterson to not seek a full term, according to a published report Saturday.

Obama's action apparently was prompted by fears that the unpopular governor could prove a liability to other Democrats running for Congress or the state Legislature next fall, according to the New York Times.

The newspaper credited but did not name two senior administration officials and a New York Democratic operative for the information. The Times said the president's request was passed on to Paterson by Rep. Gregory W. Meeks, a Democrat from Queens, who has a strong relationship with the governor.

Neither Paterson nor aides responded to requests for comment Saturday.

The former lieutenant governor is widely viewed as an ineffective leader and one reason the state's government has experienced gridlock for much of this year.

In a Quinnipiac poll last month, voters gave him an approval rating of 30%, the newspaper said.
Seriously, what in the ham sammich is Obama doing meddling around in state politricks? Does yet another black man really need Obama's Bruno Magli-print on his backside? I know that Paterson's doing about as poor a job with a high profile New York job as any Negro this side of Isaiah Lord Thomas, but how silly does it look to call him (one of only 2 black governors) out?[1] And how come we don't see Obama lay the smackdown on no White dudes? Evar?

I know, some of you will say he tossed Officer Crowley under the bus, but he actually didn't. And, unlike any of the other protagonists, he came back and apologized publicly to Crowley.

Louis Farrakhan? Uh, not so much.

Even "Magic" Mike Steele agrees that Obama is on some ole' bullsh*t.

And Magic Mike is post-racial, so you know Obama is stickin' it to the brothaman.

Who knows, maybe Obama really just wants to give an electable Dem a shot in 2010. Or maybe this is some roundabout way of getting back at Paterson for that Caroline Kennedy stunts, and pulling his name into the governor's recent spiel about his own slipping approval ratings. Either way, it strikes me as wasting time on something incredibly menial when you're clearly got bigger trout to fry.

I say most of this tongue in cheek, so I sure hope ya'll don't get all bent outta shape about it. But it does show, in a round about way, just how fine a racial line the President must walk, even in post-racial America.

If you're White, you're alright. If you Black, get back.

Question: Should the President be wading in the murky waters of statewide politricks? How likely is it that Obama would tell a White Governor to Go Sit Down?!? Can you name any White folks Obama's thrown under the bus? Did I leave any Black folks out of my list?

Obama urges Paterson to quit governor race, report says [LA Times]

[1] Deval Patrick, watch your back, homey.

AB Goes To The Movies - Brick City.

For a city barely larger than my sprawling DC suburb, Newark, NJ (population: 281k) sure seems much bigger than the numbers suggest. Often maligned as either the murder, carjacking, or both Capitol Of The US, the city has undergone a renaissance of sorts in recent years. Even the casual passerby on an Amtrak en route to Penn Station will notice the gleaming new Prudential Center, lovely NJ Performing Arts Center, and chic warehouse condos dotting the skyline. But all that glimmers obviously isn't gold. The groundbreaking 5 part documentary Brick City, which airs all next week (starting tonight, Sept 21st) on The Sundance Channel, seeks to tell the behind the scenes story of a once great city to return to its former glory.

Executive produced by Forrest Whitaker, the documentary tells the Summer 08' story of Newark's struggle through three distinctly different voices. Cory Booker is the camera-friendly, enthusiastic, Ivy League-educated mayor whose election a few years ago garnered nationwide attention. Garry McCarthy is the tough-as-nails police chief tasked with returning order to the streets. A reformed gang member named Jada provides the real life perspective of the folks whose perspectives Booker and McCarthy must change if the city is ever to prosper. Telling the story from three such varies points of view (politician, cop, [ex]criminal) is undoubtedly going to lead to some comparisons to HBO's The Wire. If you found that show even remotely interesting, watching the real life drama of Brick City unfurl will certainly be worth the view.

Brick City airs every night this week at 10pm on The Sundance Channel.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

50 Cent On CNBC.

I'll admit, I lost a lot of respect for this guy after that Young Buck "crying game" situation, but he nearly redeems himself here.

Keep Effin' That Chicken!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Why, Evander?!? Why?!?

Just what the world needs, more black men in drag. Just lovely.

Question: Are times really this bad out there?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Get On Your SoapBox.

Sometimes when you blog, you run into issues getting posts out on the daily. The Fresh 7 days/week promise I made to you guys sometimes proves to be a bit difficult for me to keep up with. Today would be such a day. Not only did I not have any free time this weekend to write a fresh morning drop, but I'm also officially devoid of any fresh ideas. Long story short, even if I had something to write about, I don't have the time to do it.

So, today, the floor is open. You guys have proven to be a relatively self-sustaining online community. So, start some chatter amongst yourselves. Drop links. Get it poppin'. If you've ever wanted to write your own post for the rest of AverageNation™ to respond to, this is your day!

Sometime soon I'll be back to my usual prolific and snarky self, but I could use to help getting over the hump. Look out for yaw's boy and take the reigns in the meantime.

Question: Got anything interesting you wanna talk with the rest of AverageNation™ about? Get the convo started you-know-where.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

See, Even Barry Doesn't Think TeaBaggers Are Racist.

Well, the President himself said it, so it's gotta be true. All the rest of us are clearly delusional, no way whatsoever that some fringe element of those protesting are a wee bit racist. No way.
The White House said Wednesday President Barack Obama doesn't believe that he's being attacked by critics because of his race.

"The president does not believe that that criticism comes based on the color of his skin," White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters.

"We understand that people have disagreements with some of the decisions that we've made and some of the extraordinary actions that had to be undertaken by both this administration and previous administrations to stabilize our financial system, to ensure viability of our domestic auto industry. I don't think that – the president does not believe that it's based on the color of his skin."

The issue was raised Tuesday by former President Jimmy Carter, who said racial politics played a role in some of the opposition Obama has faced since taking office. Carter also said that race was a factor in South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst last week during the president's address to a joint session of Congress.
I gotta tell ya', I, for one, am getting a bit sick of this incessant political correctness. I know Obama has to be careful not to offend some white folks, but darnit, does he have to play it so close to the chest every damn time? It's funny how the guy is so quick to call Kanye a "jacka$$" (which was true), but so easily accepts the apology of a pompous windbag who has the gall to call him a liar in front of Congress and a worldwide audience.

I was talking with my Mom today, and she said that we might just need to accept the fact that Obama can not, and never will, Channel His Inner Ni**a, because that's simply not how he's built. The way he was raised, the folks he was reared by, and his overall temperament cause him to respond in a way that the "typical" black person likely wouldn't when confronted on some bullsh*t. And it's hard to argue with the results: had he taken off the gloves and fought back against his many opponents last year, it's quite likely he'd have been sitting in the galley, rather than standing behind the podium last week. Clearly, the man knows what he's doing, and clearly he's got a far better pulse on which buttons to push and which ones not to than the average person, black, white, or other.

That said, when we keep watching Obama take a slap and turn the other cheek time after time, it eventually feels like all of us are getting slapped. As much as I'd have liked to have seen him tell Joe Wilson "mother******, you see a liar, you come get in that liar's face!!!" last week, I know it'll never happen. Never. Ever. Never. Ever. And those of us in Black America might just wanna accept this as fact, rather than continually expecting him to stand up for himself. It ain't happened yet, and it won't happen no time soon. Never. Ever. Never. Ever.

Maybe what Obama needs is a designated attack dog. Robert Gibbs? Don't even mention that coonin' loser. This person obviously can't be on the gubb'ment payroll. But he absolutely needs someone high profile, with constant media exposure, who can call a freakin' spade a spade. And obviously, that person needs to be White.

Call Jimmy Carter. I hear he's free.

Question: Does this "turn the other cheek" tactic employed by Obama continually frustrate you, or is the guy simply playing the game, knowing that if he called some of this for what it is, that it would only distract from his ability to get things done? Does Obama need a designated attack dog? Who would you recommend?

White House: Obama doesn't think race a factor [CNN]