Friday, August 28, 2009

What Would You Do?!? - Sh*t And Run Neighbors.

I live deep in the burbs, and our native cul de sac collection is a pretty diverse hood' of folks of all ages, socioeconomic statuses, and racial walks of life. In short, it's more or less a microcosm of America, which is pretty cool in my book. But having grown up in the country, there's still some stuff about the inner burbs I just don't get, and the rules of scooping dogg poop would be one just thing.

I take pride in having one of the better lawns in our neighborhood. Seriously, I put lots of time and effort into it. Call me crazy, but folks who don't maintain their yards seem like they aren't protecting their greatest investment. This attention to detail earns me the praise of some folks on my block, and the sideye of others, for reasons I can't really say.

In any event, since we moved in years ago, I have continually had a problem with folks letting their dogs sh*t all over my lawn and not picking up behind them.[1] This has always been a huge annoyance, but now that my oldest son's at the age where he likes running around and rolling in the grass for fun, this is really becoming a problem.[2]

I've never owned a dog, but common sense would dictate to me that you'd scoop up behind the pet and not allow him to sh*t a huge mound in the dead center of your neighbor's freshly manicured lawn. Isn't this just basic human kindness and consideration? After all, how f*cking ignorant would it look if I walked across the street and emptied my trashcan on my neighbor's front porch, then just walked away?

I suppose my question here is twofold. My wife is irritated because she can't let our oldest son run free in the yard without worrying about what's lurking in the grass. I'm also generally pissed off because I can't fathom what would make presumably intelligent folks think it's okay to allow their puppy to drop a double deuce on somebody's grass and not pick it up.

This sh*t has to stop. Literally.

Question: I need some practical advice here. What would YOU do? Would you put up a nice lawn sign asking people to be considerate (as my wife is suggesting)? Would you sleep outside (as I'm suggesting), and lay in wake for these a$$holes to let the dog poop, then jump out the bushes and commence to a$$whipping? Is there really anything you can do to stop folks from doing this? If you're a dog owner (be honest), do you sometimes allow your dog to sh*t and run? Why is that acceptable in your eyes?

[1] To anyone disgusted with the (intentionally) blurred image above, ask yourselves this, how disgusting would it be for your kids to run and fall into that mound of poop?

[2] No, it hasn't happened. Yet.

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