Sunday, June 28, 2009 LiveBlogs The BET Awards - Hour Three.

Read chronologically from bottom to top. Updates happen whenever I get a free moment.

Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.


AB - She's still talkin? Get off the stage. We need Real Life Tivo for moments like this.

AOB - Aww man, Wyclef has to talk too?

AS - That jacket... awwww, that jawn is terrible.


AB - It's time for the Annual "Debra Lee Tries To Justify All This Bullsh*t" Address.

{Some montage of humanitarian efforts by Wyclef and Alicia Keys is shown. Everyone tunes out. Yeah, we're typical.}

AB - Lil' Weezy, please!!!!

{Alicia Keys comes onstage to give an acceptance speech. She has a zit the size of a crouton on her nose.}

AS - Her makeup looks bad.

AOB - She stole Swizz Beats from his wife.

AS - What wants Swizz Beats?

AA - Who is Swizz Beats?

AB - Weezy, please. Booooring.


AA - Girl, Idris Elba is on! You missin' it!

{AS comes running back into room}

AS - Woooo!!!

AB - You better sit down, He ain't payin' no bills here.

AS - Neither is Beyonce.

AA - Debra Lee looks good.

AS - Sure does. Cute hairdo.

AB - Hey, wasn't your best friend supposed to be here tonight?

AS - Yeah, she double booked on us.

AB - Whoa, so wait a minute, we're The Backup Party?

AS - Mmm hmmm.

AB - Uhn uh. You know who you are, I am calling you out. You missed out on these grilled shrimp shawty! Standing MY party up...


AB - Dang, is this over yet? Bring on Weezy F. Baby and end this thing. Please. It's nearly 11pm.


AB - Oh, Eddie Levert dropped an S-bomb.

AOB - The censors were sleepin'.

AB - That's an FCC fine. BET is gonna go bankrupt before they pay that bill.


AB - Are Don Cornelius and Elgin Baylor twins? Put this man out of his misery. Cut the mic, please.

AA - This is sad.

AMB - Hey Don, wanna get away?

AB - Did the OJays have to clown Don?


AOB - Don Cornelius is out on parole.

AA - Hangin' in there after all these years.

AOB - He's struggling with the teleprompter.

AB - He's better than Trey Songz. And Obama.

AS - He's so old now.

ABL - He's takin' a toke here and there to get by.

AMB - That's a 70's suit.

{OJays tribute begins}

AB - The timing for this is a little off, all things considered.

AA - Little Tevin.

ABL - He looks the same.

AB - Looks good. Sounds good. No reason to hate.

{Tyrese, Trey Songz, and Johnny Gill come out to sing "Backstabbers"}

AB - 3 random Negroes.

ASL - Why does Johnny have a nose ring? He looks bad. Men don't do that.

AB - This is better than it looks on paper. They aren't half bad.

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