Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Judgment Day.

Other than my beloved Tarheels winning the National title, this hasn't been a banner year for my sports teams. The kids I coach went a miserable 1-7. My alma mater flamed out at the wrong time and missed the NCAA's. But perhaps worst of all has been my local NBA team. Preseason injuries, the premature firing of a head coach, and the continued immaturity of the team's young players all equalled a franchise-tying worst season of only 19 wins. On the bright side, being really bad has its advantages, because it traditionally means you have a chance of getting really good again if you land the #1 overall pick.

Over the past 10 years, the draft's #1 pick has produced a handful of future hall of famers (Yao Ming, Lebron James, Dwight Howard) a few All-Stars (Elton Brand, Kenyon Martin), and some solid second bananas (Andrea Bargnani, Andrew Bogut). Unfortunately, like any crap shoot, you're eventually gonna roll craps.

Wow, the suits.

Franchises have been setback decades when they picked guys like Michael Olowokandi, Greg Oden (yeah, I already wrote him off), and perhaps the most chilling of all, Kwame Brown.

Contrary to popular belief, I didn't stop watching my local NBA team after I publicly disowned them here last year, I merely quit talking about them here. Doing so in public would be like being seen in public with your ex-girlfriend after you found out she was a party favor at last Homecoming's Que party.[1] Not that I personally know, of course.

Anyways, for all that grunt work, the local NBA team has the 2nd best chance of getting that #1 overall pick tonight, following only the Sacramento Kings in the Blake Griffin Sweepstakes. Griffin, depending on whom you ask, is either the next Kenyon Martin (me) or the next Karl Malone (Ed) minus the illegitimate kids. He's an awesome physical specimen with a mean streak and incredible drive to succeed. He's the sort of player who can add 10 wins to a team as a rookie. He's exactly the sort of player my local NBA hasn't had since, well, evar.

This being DC Sports and all, chances are the local NBA team falls to 5th, and ends up with some future scrub like James Harden. This is widely regarded by many as a 2 player draft, with Spanish phenom Ricky Rubio the runner up. Of course, drafting a rookie PG when you already have $116M tied up in one point man is lunacy, so it's really #1 or bust for my team.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Question: Who is the biggest NBA draft bust of all time?

[1] Sloppy seconds = garden variety bad. Omega sloppy seconds = Vile & disgusting.

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