The Uppity Negro muses about the dreaded Friend Zone.]
Okay, so I’m sure you all have noticed a weird trend in these guest blogs that I’ve done: primarily they’ve all been surrounding relationships and secondarily I have an interesting approach to these relationships that’s definitely not traditional. That being said, let’s get to work.
Some of my friends here on campus have mused that “your best friend would make your best lover in a relationship.” Usually, that grosses the average person out. I mean, honestly, my good female friends are borderline in the sister category. But then I thought about it, they really might be on to something.
Look at it this way:
Your best friend of the opposite sex, you’re always going out on “dates” with them anyway. I personally can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone out one-on-one with a female friend. Hopped on the bus to meet up with them downtown and go to Water Tower, or meet up for lunch at Leona’s in Hyde Park. Or go catch a music show over at Kenwood, then go out for drinks later. Or even, have them come over my house and then my mother and them play like mother and daughter-in-law and talk to each other more than they talk to me!
Honestly, with one friend of the opposite sex in mind, me and her would make a great couple—on paper that is (I still love you Uppity Negress). We both grew up together and known each other since kindergarten. Even one of our other friends from that same class called me up and asked me what was up with me and her. Although due to unfortunate circumstances, she’s paying the mortgage on a house that she lives in, a three bedroom, one and half bath with a full basement, two car garage in a nice middle-class neighborhood in the Chi. My mother loves her, she loves my mother; me and her brother get along just fine and even her brother’s friends to some extent and she’s suggested me and him have a “bromance” this summer because she’s gonna be out of town.
Generally speaking, the reason you and your best friend of the opposite sex get along is because you’re so compatible. You’re attracted because of the similarities and the right differences keep you all as friends. I mean, look at the movie “Brown Sugar.”
Aside from it being one of my favorite underrated movies, the premise, I’m sure has played itself out more than once in various social circles world wide. But, by a show of hands, raise them if you’ve mustered up some courage to ask a friend out on a date, or at least put ourselves squarely out there and gotten the “I just wanna be friends” or “I don’t want it to be awkward between us line.”
**raises both of my hands**
I mean, that merely reminds me of the movie “Just Friends” with Ryan Reynolds just above where, for the most part the girl wanted to be “just friends” even though of course the whole movie is about how the ended up together, as was with “Brown Sugar.” I mean, I’ve been in the “just friends” category and personally it sucked for me, but for a plethora of other undercover reasons.
I wonder is it really because were trained and socialized to not be with our friends or is it really the fact that there isn’t a mutual attraction. I mean, we all hear the stories of married couples that always say “We were friends first” or something to the effect of friends that sustained their relationship.
My advice is to try it out.
Question: Do you think my theory is complete B.S. that you should try asking out your best friend of the opposite sex? Have you tried it before? What have been your “epic fails” as far as asking out a friend or putting yourself out there? As a result would you ever do it again?