Thursday, April 30, 2009

Poll Position - I'm Makin' A Rap Dance Anthem!!!

Last week, I ran a ludicrously bad music video by some herb named B-Hamp. The song is called "Do The Ricky Bobby", and like most LCD rap music, circa 2009, this ditty included a dance. Personally, I watched the video twice and still do not see the "dance", but that's just my old age talkin'.

Anyways, it occurred to me that if an untalented bama like this can make Middle School-quality rap song and get on TV (I saw the video on 106th & Park), then just how hard is it to get on TV? I've always opined that if I became a GOP Stan, with my good looks and clean, articulate speech, I could make it on Fox News in no time. So, I asked ya'll, since TV is my eventual end goal, what's the quickest way there? Become a rapper, a GOP talking head, or get arrested. AverageNation™ stood up and let its vote count.

So, seems like "getting arrested" it is. Sorry, but it goes without saying that with a wife and two kids to feed, I can't take penitentiary chances just to get a showdown on Hannity's Great American Panel. And until the GOP changes it's messengers, I can't afford to be associated with those vitriolic losers. I suppose elbowing Ron Cristie off the idiot box would be satisfying enough, but I happen to like getting a crisp shape-up and speaking occasional ebonics. I also like Gucci Mane and the occasional . Needless to say, a Black GOP Pundit cannot partake in such tomfoolery.

So, LCD Dance Rappper it is. I am learning ProTools (already know FruityLoops, trying to step the game up) now, and will look to cut my demo by the end of May. That's my goal at least.

One problem. Well, actually two. I need a "hook", and I need a "dance" that ties to that hook. Any suggestions?

Question: What should AB's Dance Rap be about? Winner gets production credits, aka: Cyber CapriSuns™ in lieu of actual royalties.

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